150 mississippi jokes

  1. Why don’t they make ice cubes in Mississippi? Because the person with the recipe moved out!
  2. How do you know you’re in Mississippi? When even the GPS says, “Just make a turn at the next sweet tea stand.”
  3. Why did the scarecrow move to Mississippi? Because he heard it was outstanding in its fields!
  4. What’s the easiest way to get around Mississippi? On an alligator’s back!
  5. Why was the sandwich named Mississippi? Because it was too long to fit on the menu!
  6. How did the music note get lost in Mississippi? It went down the blues scale!
  7. Why don’t they play hide and seek in Mississippi? Because nobody hides when there’s barbeque cooking!
  8. What did the teddy bear say after eating Mississippi mud pie? “I’m stuffed!”
  9. Why did the biscuit go to Mississippi? To get buttered up!
  10. Why don’t Mississippians play chess? Because they’re always a few pieces short of a full set!
  11. Why did the cat move to Mississippi? Because it wanted to live in the “mew-sissippi.”
  12. Why did the cucumber get a job in Mississippi? Because it wanted to get into a real pickle!
  13. Why was the Mississippi River always causing trouble? Because it has a flowing personality!
  14. Why did the chicken join a band in Mississippi? Because it had the drumsticks!
  15. Why is it so hard to solve a crime in Mississippi? Because there are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA!
  16. How do you know when you’ve crossed the Mississippi border? The IQ test is on the back of the menu!
  17. Why did the tomato turn red in Mississippi? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  18. Why are there so many jokes about Mississippi? Because we can’t spell M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I without a few laughs!
  19. Why don’t Mississippi drivers use turn signals? They don’t want to give away their next move!
  20. What’s Mississippi’s favorite constellation? The Big Dipper, for serving up fried chicken!
  21. What do you call a guitar that never made it in Mississippi? Unplugged!
  22. Why did the math book move to Mississippi? Because it had too many problems!
  23. How do you catch a squirrel in Mississippi? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  24. What do you call a movie about a Mississippi dinosaur? Jura-sipp-i Park!
  25. Why did the Mississippi bridge blush? Because it saw the river bottom!
  26. Why did the computer take its hat off in Mississippi? Because it was in CAPS LOCK!
  27. Why did the snowman go to Mississippi? To have a meltdown!
  28. Why did the popcorn visit Mississippi? Because it heard the place was popping!
  29. Why did the potato become a poet in Mississippi? It had the eyes for detail!
  30. What did the Mississippi river say to the Gulf? Let’s keep flowing!
  31. Why did the bicycle fall over in Mississippi? Because it was two-tired!
  32. Why did the baker go broke in Mississippi? Because he kneaded too much dough!
  33. Why did the book join the police in Mississippi? Because it was a hardcover detective!
  34. How do you know you’ve spent too long in Mississippi? When you ask for directions and they involve a cornfield and a moonshine still.
  35. Why don’t vampires like Mississippi? Too much garlic in the cooking!
  36. What do you call a hipster in Mississippi? A tourist!
  37. Why did the Mississippi lake go to therapy? It had too many repressed currents!
  38. What does the Mississippi sun say to the plants? Time for a light meal!
  39. Why don’t golfers like playing in Mississippi? Too many sand traps!
  40. What’s a Mississippi ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-berries!
  41. Why was the Mississippi river unhappy? It had too many mouth issues!
  42. Why did the fish leave Mississippi? It found itself in a real bait!
  43. What did the Mississippi coffee say to the sugar? I’m in need of sweet company!
  44. Why do birds fly over Mississippi upside down? There’s nothing worth pooping on!
  45. Why are Mississippi cars bad at playing hide and seek? They always stick out like a sore bumper!
  46. How do you describe a Mississippi summer? Like trying to fry an egg on a car hood!
  47. Why did the Mississippi river stop flowing? It didn’t want to run into an old flame, the Gulf of Mexico!
  48. What’s the most musical part of Mississippi? The note-re Dame!
  49. Why did the doughnut visit Mississippi? It heard the cops were sweeter!
  50. What’s the national bird of Mississippi? The fried chicken!
  51. What do you call an ambitious man in Mississippi? A visitor!
  52. How do you keep your car safe in Mississippi? Drive a tractor, they wouldn’t know how to start it!
  53. Why did the zombie skip Mississippi? He couldn’t find any brains!
  54. What’s the Mississippi motto? “At least we’re not Alabama!”
  55. What’s a firefly’s favorite city in Mississippi? Light Jackson!
  56. How did the car know it was in Mississippi? It got stuck in a pothole!
  57. Why did the egg go to Mississippi? To get egg-cited!
  58. What do you call a funny mountain in Mississippi? Hill-arious!
  59. How does a Mississippian count cows? With a cowculator!
  60. What’s the best way to study in Mississippi? Close the book and watch a football game!
  61. Why did the football team go to the bakery in Mississippi? Because they needed a good “roll” model!
  62. What do you call a Mississippi cat on the beach? Sandy Claws!
  63. Why are ghosts bad at lying in Mississippi? You can see right through them!
  64. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to Mississippi? In case he got a hole in one!
  65. What does Mississippi use to fix everything? Duck tape and a prayer!
  66. Why do ducks love Mississippi? It’s “quackers” over there!
  67. How does a Mississippian catch a fish? By yelling, “Hey y’all, watch this!”
  68. What did one Mississippi wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
  69. Why don’t they have tests at the zoo in Mississippi? Too many cheetahs!
  70. Why do they only serve fast food in Mississippi? Nobody can catch the chickens!
  71. Why did the robot vacation in Mississippi? He heard it had great “hard drives”!
  72. What’s the wind’s favorite city in Mississippi? Gulf-Breeze!
  73. How do you make holy water in Mississippi? Boil the hell out of it!
  74. What’s the unofficial anthem of Mississippi? Sweet Home Alabama… backwards!
  75. What do you call a Mississippi animal that can play guitar? A rock-weiler!
  76. Why did the cookie cry in Mississippi? Because its mom was a wafer too long!
  77. Why did the bread move to Mississippi? It heard the yeast is greener on the other side!
  78. What do you call an alligator in a vest in Mississippi? An investigator!
  79. Why do trees in Mississippinever worry? Because they’re always branching out!
  80. Why was the sun late in Mississippi? Because it got caught in the Dawn Traffic!
  81. Why do Mississippi dogs have a hard time living in the city? They can’t find a barking spot!
  82. What did one elevator in Mississippi say to the other? I think I’m coming down with something!
  83. Why did the Mississippi oyster refuse to share its pearl? Because it’s shellfish!
  84. Why did the cow become a chef in Mississippi? He had the perfect “moo-sauce” recipe!
  85. How did the Mississippi hamburger introduce its girlfriend? “Meet Patty!”
  86. Why did the Mississippi river make a great musician? It had the perfect flow!
  87. What’s the scariest plant in Mississippi? Bam-BOO!
  88. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Mississippi? Anywhere else and it would have been a teethbrush!
  89. Why did the Mississippi tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  90. What do you call an empty jar of Cheese Whiz in Mississippi? Cheesus Has Left Us!
  91. What’s a Mississippi pirate’s favorite letter? Arrrrrrr-kansas!
  92. Why are Mississippi secrets the easiest to keep? Nobody would believe them anyway!
  93. What do you call a shoe made in Mississippi? A sneaker!
  94. Why did the lettuce beat the tomato in a race in Mississippi? Because it was a-head!
  95. Why was the belt arrested in Mississippi? It was holding up a pair of pants!
  96. What does a Mississippian do when he’s sick? Calls a doctor, just kidding, he drinks some sweet tea!
  97. Why do Mississippi golfers carry two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
  98. What do you call an American cat in Mississippi? A Yankee Doodle Dandy!
  99. Why did the ice cream truck break down in Mississippi? Because of the rocky road!
  100. What do you call a Mississippi bird that’s gone bad? A Malfeatherant!
  101. Why did the man put his money in the blender in Mississippi? To make some liquid assets!
  102. Why did the football coach go to Mississippi? To get his quarterback!
  103. What did Mississippi say to Alabama? “You’re just jealous because we have the most vowels!”
  104. How do you know when you’re staying in a Mississippi hotel? When you call the front desk and say, “I’ve got a leak in my sink,” and the person at the desk says, “Go ahead.”
  105. Why did the potato go to school in Mississippi? To get a little more “seasoned”!
  106. Why did the superhero go to Mississippi? Because he had superhuman strength, but he couldn’t resist Mississippi Mud Pie!
  107. What’s a Mississippi ghost’s favorite dessert? I Scream!
  108. Why did the apple stop in the middle of Mississippi? It ran out of juice!
  109. Why don’t Mississippians play cricket? Because it’s easier to swat the flies!
  110. What’s a tree’s favorite drink in Mississippi? Root beer!
  111. Why did the cat sit on the Mississippi computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
  112. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants to Mississippi? In case he got a hole in one!
  113. Why did the tomato turn red in Mississippi? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  114. Why did the kid bring a ladder to Mississippi? Because he wanted to go to high school!
  115. What do you call a Mississippian who can’t play the guitar? A Silencer!
  116. Why was the sand wet in Mississippi? Because the sea-weed!
  117. What do you call a cat that swallowed a duck in Mississippi? A duck-filled-fatty-puss!
  118. Why did the scarecrow win an award in Mississippi? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  119. Why did the jelly roll down the hill in Mississippi? It wanted to catch up with the apple pie!
  120. What’s a mosquito’s favorite sport in Mississippi? Skin-diving!
  121. Why did the belt go to jail in Mississippi? It was holding up a pair of pants!
  122. What do you call a dog magician in Mississippi? A labracadabrador!
  123. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician in Mississippi? He was outstanding in his field!
  124. What’s the most common pick-up line in Mississippi? “You’re the only ten I see!”
  125. Why do Mississippi cookies never argue? They always crumble under pressure!
  126. What’s a skeleton’s favorite road in Mississippi? The “bumpy” road!
  127. What did one wall say to the other wall in Mississippi? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
  128. Why don’t Mississippi secrets ever stay hidden? Even the walls have ears!
  129. Why did the cloud stay in Mississippi? It wanted to be a little ‘light-headed’!
  130. Why did the bicycle fall over in Mississippi? Because it was two-tired!
  131. What does the Mississippi clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds!
  132. What do you call a Mississippi bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  133. Why did the golfer change his pants in Mississippi? Because he got a hole in one!
  134. Why did the Mississippi football team go to the bakery? Because they needed a good “roll” model!
  135. What’s a ghost’s favorite city in Mississippi? BOO-ville!
  136. What do you call a Mississippi turtle who takes up photography? A snapping turtle!
  137. Why do Mississippians always carry a map? So they can catch up with the jokes!
  138. How does a Mississippian hold up his pants? With a bible belt!
  139. Why do Mississippi bakers work so hard? Because they knead the dough!
  140. Why did the cell phone go to school in Mississippi? It wanted to improve its “ringing” skills!
  141. What’s the favorite exercise in Mississippi? Southern CrossFit – picking up and putting down sweet tea glasses!
  142. Why did the melon jump into the Mississippi river? It wanted to be a watermelon!
  143. How do you organize a space party in Mississippi? You “planet”!
  144. Why don’t Mississippians trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  145. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat in Mississippi? Thunderwear!
  146. What’s a Mississippi pirate’s favorite letter? You think it’s the “R” but it’s actually the “C”!
  147. Why don’t you see penguins in Mississippi? Because they’re afraid of the Southern heat!
  148. Why did the chicken join a band in Mississippi? Because it had the drumsticks!
  149. How do you compliment a Mississippi drawing? Say it has nice “drawing accent”!
  150. Why did the Mississippi pepper turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and got jalapeno business!

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