125 Squirrel Jokes

Squirrels may be small, furry critters with bushy tails, but they’re more than just woodland creatures – they’re the unsung comedians of the animal kingdom! Their knack for mischief and endless antics often leave us chuckling and scratching our heads simultaneously.

From their obsession with acorns to their relentless pursuit of nuts, squirrels have inspired a slew of puns and jokes that are bound to crack you up. Let’s dive into a whirlwind of laughter with an array of squirrel-centric jokes that’ll leave you in stitches!

Top 125 Squirrel Jokes:

1. Why don’t squirrels have any money? Because they keep investing in acorns, but the market is always nuts!

2. Why do squirrels always act like it’s Friday? Because they’re always ready to go nuts!

3. How do squirrels prefer their pizza? Acorn-y with extra cheese!

4. What do you call a squirrel with an umbrella? A rain nut-igator!

5. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because it’s all about the angles (acorns).

6. Why was the squirrel late for work? Traffic was nuts!

7. What do squirrels wear to go to space? An astronut suit!

8. How do squirrels pay their bills? With nut-bit cards!

9. Why do squirrels love playing cards? They always go for the high squeaks!

10. Why did the squirrel take his date to the park? Because he had no room to swing a cat at his place!

11. Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans? Because their nuts won’t fit.

12. What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts!

13. What do squirrels call their grandparents? Old nuts!

14. Why did the squirrel go to the bar? He heard the peanuts were complimentary!

15. What’s a squirrel’s least favorite kind of music? Pop! It scares them.

16. What do you call a squirrel that won’t share? Shellfish!

17. Why do squirrels always look mad when playing chess? It’s hard to achieve checkmate when your opponent’s a nut!

18. What do you call a squirrel on a diet? Just plain nuts!

19. Why was the squirrel at the baseball game? He heard the bats were flying!

20. How do squirrels catch their flights? They use the tree-minal!

21. What kind of key can’t open any locks? A squirrel’s monkey!

22. What’s a squirrel’s favorite TV show? Nutflix Originals!

23. Why are squirrels good detectives? They always crack the case!

24. Why don’t squirrels like secrets? Because they crack under pressure!

25. What’s a squirrel’s favorite pastime? Nut-knocking!

26. What do you call a squirrel who sings? A nut-tenor!
27. How do squirrels cut their pizza? With a pizz-nut cutter!
28. Why did the squirrel bring a flashlight to the party? He was looking for his bud, light!
29. What’s a squirrel’s favorite dance move? The Nutcracker!
30. What do squirrels use to call their friends? Nut-phones!
31. Why did the squirrel go to the bakery? He heard the baker made great dough-nuts!
32. Why do squirrels never get lost? They always take the tree-n path!
33. What do you call a squirrel who can’t make up its mind? In-decisive!
34. Why did the squirrel get a computer? To stay on the cutting edge of tech-nut-ology!
35. What do you call a squirrel with a top hat and a cane? A gentle-nut!
36. Why did the squirrel wear glasses? To look spec-tacular!
37. What do you call a squirrel that does magic tricks? A magic nut!
38. Why was the squirrel on the computer? He wanted to check his Nut-flix queue!
39. How does a squirrel make a phone call? On its nut-phone!
40. Why don’t squirrels use bookmarks? They just squirrel through the pages!
41. What do you call a squirrel in a desert? Lost!
42. What’s a squirrel’s favorite subject in school? Nut-ural science!
43. Why don’t squirrels ever get locked out? They always have a spare nut!
44. What do you call a squirrel who moved to the city? Urban Nut!
45. What’s a squirrel’s favorite day of the week? Pecan Tuesday!
46. Why did the squirrel like to play sports? He’s nuts about them!
47. Why do squirrels swim on their backs? To keep their nuts dry!
48. Why did the squirrel take acting classes? To improve his nut-ural talent!
49. Why did the squirrel get a time machine? To go back to the past and save all the nuts!
50. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of weather? A light drizzle with a chance of acorns!
51. What do you call a squirrel who can paint? Vincent Van Nut!
52. What do you call a squirrel that performs in the circus? A acro-nut!
53. Why are squirrels like coffee? They’re both ground dwellers!
54. What do you call a squirrel who likes to play games? An entertain-nut!
55. Why do squirrels never get sick? They eat their vitamins and minerals!
56. Why did the squirrel go to school? To get a little more edu-nut-cation!
57. What do you call a squirrel that only eats junk food? A junk squirrel!
58. Why do squirrels like to watch soap operas? They love the daily nut-ics!
59. What do you call a squirrel who loves to read? A book nut!
60. What do you call a squirrel in a film? A movie star-nut!
61. Why was the squirrel at the party? He was the life of the party, always ready to crack a nut!
62. Why do squirrels like playing hide and seek? Because they’re good at hiding their nuts!
63. What do you call a squirrel that can play a musical instrument? A squirrel-tuoso!
64. What do you call a squirrel who can dance? A Nutcracker ballet dancer!
65. Why did the squirrel bring a map to the forest? He didn’t want to miss a tree!
66. What do you call a squirrel with a large vocabulary? A squirrel-ent!
67. Why don’t squirrels ever get fat? Because they’re always running around like nuts!
68. Why did the squirrel cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
69. What do you call a squirrel that hoards shiny things? A jewel-nut!
70. What do squirrels and baseball players have in common? They both love a good pitch!
71. Why don’t squirrels use cellphones? They prefer to use a tele-nut!
72. Why are squirrels like calculators? They always count their nuts!
73. What’s a squirrel’s favorite book? The Great Gatsby, because it’s full of rich nuts!
74. Why do squirrels always carry an umbrella? Just in case there’s a reign of nuts!
75. What do you call a squirrel that’s gone bad? A nut-case!
76. What did the squirrel say to his girlfriend? I’m nuts about you!
77. What do you call a squirrel that flies? A plain nut!
78. How do you catch a squirrel for a pet? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
79. Why did the squirrel stop in the middle of the road? Because it was nuts to move!
80. What did the squirrel say when he dropped his nuts? Oh, nuts!
81. What do you call a squirrel who knows karate? A Ninja Nut!
82. How does a squirrel keep its fur so soft? Nut-ural oils!
83. Why do squirrels make terrible secret agents? They always spill the beans!
84. What do you call a squirrel that’s always joking? A nutty comedian!
85. Why did the squirrel take the elevator? It was tired of going nuts on the stairs!
86. What’s a squirrel’s favorite exercise? The nut-crunch!
87. What do you call a squirrel with no nuts? A pistachio!
88. Why do squirrels like fast food? Because it’s fast, and they’re nuts!
89. What do squirrels and photographers have in common? They both like to focus on the little things!
90. What do squirrels wear to sleep? Their paj-nut-mas!
91. What do you call a squirrel that tells tall tales? A nutty fibber!
92. Why did the squirrel join the circus? He wanted to learn the flying trapeze!
93. What’s a squirrel’s favorite drink? Nut-ella shake!
94. How do you save a drowning squirrel? With a life preserver, it’s a nut-mergency!
95. Why do squirrels never forget? Because they’re nuts about memory games!
96. What do you call a squirrel who’s good at chess? A check-mate!
97. What do you call a squirrel with a nut allergy? Unfortunate!
98. What’s a squirrel’s favorite mode of transportation? A nut-mobile!
99. What do you call a squirrel in a suit? A business-nut!
100. Why did the squirrel go to the concert? To see the nut-ist playing!
101. What’s a squirrel’s favorite game? Nut, nut, goose!
102. What do you call a squirrel that loves the sun? A sunflower seed!
103. Why was the squirrel in the library? He was looking for bookworms!
104. What do you call a squirrel with three nuts? A nut hoarder!
105. Why do squirrels hate lying? Because the truth is nut-thing to hide!
106. What’s a squirrel’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The nut-coaster!
107. What do you call a squirrel in a band? A rock-nut!
108. What did the squirrel say when it retired? No more nutty business for me!
109. Why was the squirrel on the internet? He was updating his Nut-flix queue!
110. Why do squirrels make great friends? They always stick by you in a crunch!
111. What’s a squirrel’s favorite type of story? A nut-so-scary ghost story!
112. What’s a squirrel’s favorite sport? Nut-ball!
113. Why do squirrels like tightrope walking? It’s all about the balance!
114. Why do squirrels always look both ways when crossing the street? They don’t want to get hit by a nutmobile!
115. What do squirrels wear to stay warm in the winter? Nut-muffs!
116. What did the squirrel say when it fell off the tree? That’s a hard nut to crack!
117. Why are squirrels terrible at tennis? They always cause a racquet!
118. How does a squirrel ask for food? “Can I have a bite of your nut?”
119. Why did the squirrel get a promotion? He was the best in his field!
120. What do squirrels do when they’re bored? They play nut-ical chairs!
121. Why did the squirrel start a band? Because he had the nuts for it!
122. What do you call a squirrel that can sing and dance? A nut-ertainer!
123. Why do squirrels make terrible comedians? Because their jokes are always acorn-y!
124. Why do squirrels love to garden? They’re nuts about flowers!
125. Why did the squirrel take a nap? Because he was all tuckered out from telling nutty jokes!

Conclusion

There you have it – a nutty expedition into the world of squirrel jokes! These furry little creatures may spend their days scampering up trees and hoarding nuts, but they’ve also mastered the art of delivering puns and giggles to lighten our days. Whether it’s their love for acorns or their knack for being the punchline of a joke, squirrels bring a dose of humor into our lives.

So, the next time you spot a squirrel darting across the yard or perched on a branch, remember their penchant for hilarity. Embrace the joy they bring and get ready to crack a smile with their delightful, ever-entertaining antics!