125 Jokes About Drinks

Get ready for a refreshing and humorous journey through the world of drinks! From coffee to tea, sodas to cocktails, we have an assortment of jokes that will leave you giggling into your glass.

These light-hearted quips showcase the playful side of our favorite beverages, offering a moment of comic relief for any occasion. So grab your favorite drink, sit back, and let the laughter flow as we dive into a collection of jokes that will have you raising your glass and your spirits!

Top 125 Jokes About Drinks:

1. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
2. Why don’t aliens drink tea? They’re scared of the Milky Way.
3. Why do drinks never play hide and seek? Because they always get found in the last bar.
4. Why did the soda blush? Because it saw the lemon twist!
5. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
6. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the ghost a drink? Because he couldn’t hold his liquor.
7. Why do root beers always get first in the race? Because they have the best cans.
8. Why did the beer go to a bar? Because it wanted to see its draft!
9. Why was the energy drink in jail? It was charged with battery!
10. Why did the coffee break up with the espresso? Because it couldn’t handle the pressure.
11. Why do bartenders love making mocktails? Because they’re always sobering up the crowd.
12. What’s the most musical part of a cocktail? The band on the martini glass!
13. Why did the tea lose its job? It was steeped in controversy.
14. What do you call a sad coffee? Depresso.
15. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on the farm? Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beans talk!
16. Why do we put lemon slices in our drinks? Because the drinks like a good “peel.”
17. Why did the coffee go to therapy? It was feeling too grounded.
18. How does a glass of water call for help? It uses a liquid hotline!
19. Why was the vodka a terrible journalist? It always had a clear bias.
20. Why was the green tea so popular? It was steeped in celebrity culture.
21. What do you call an intoxicated pumpkin? A Pumpkin Spice Latte.
22. Why did the water bottle go to school? It wanted to get a little more “refined.”
23. Why are mixologists the best to date? They always know how to stir things up.
24. What’s a champagne’s favorite music? Pop!
25. Why was the lemon at the bar? It was looking for a squeeze.
26. Why did the coffee go to the doctor? It was feeling brewed up.
27. What do you call a smoothie in a winter jacket? A frappe!
28. Why did the smoothie go to the party? To shake things up!
29. Why was the cappuccino always dressed to the nines? It loved to espresso itself.
30. Why did the coffee bean go to school? It hoped to become a groundbreaker.
31. What does a beer do when it wants to chill? It cracks open a book.
32. Why did the cup of water get arrested? It was making waves.
33. Why do energy drinks work out? To get a six-pack.
34. What does an artist drink? An “expresso.”
35. Why did the milk go to the comedy club? It wanted to see if it could make people ‘lactose’ and tolerant!
36. What’s a tea’s favorite sport? Brewing!
37. What do you call a bar exclusive to ghosts? Spirits only!
38. What does a cocktail do on its day off? It mixes things up.
39. Why was the watermelon at the bar? It wanted to have a seedless night out!
40. What did the bartender say to the ice cube? You crack me up!
41. Why do green teas always meditate? They’re steeped in tranquility.
42. Why was the drink a terrible soccer player? It always spilled.
43. What’s a lemon’s favorite type of party? A sour-ee!
44. Why do tea bags never feel lonely? They’re always in hot water together.
45. Why did the tea bag stay at home? It felt a bit too steep.
46. Why did the bartender ban the ice cubes? They always got into cold fights.
47. What did the bartender say to the cocktail? “You stir my heart.”
48. What do you call a conversation between two bottles of soda? A fizzy discussion.
49. What’s a water bottle’s favorite song? “Just keep pouring, just keep pouring…”
50. Why was the espresso so good at school? It was always on the grind.
51. What’s the gin’s favorite day of the week? Tonic Tuesday.
52. Why was the martini a good dancer? It had the perfect twist.
53. Why was the pint of beer a great mathematician? It loved working with round figures.
54. What do you call a lonely soda? A can of solo.
55. Why did the teapot get an award? It was outstanding in its “field”.
56. What did the juice say to the fridge? Squeeze me, I’m cold!
57. Why don’t cola cans ever feel cold? They have a warm fizz-ique.
58. Why do drinks go to school? To get a bit of culture.
59. Why do coffees make great detectives? They always get to the bottom of it.
60. Why was the mug a great comedian? It always cracked people up.
61. Why did the cocktail take up painting? It wanted to learn how to mix colors.
62. What do you call a bottle of whiskey that tells jokes? A bourbon comedian!
63. Why do soft drinks never play chess? They always get popped.
64. What’s a soda can’s favorite movie? Can Air.
65. Why did the ginger ale file a police report? It got robbed of its pop.
66. What do you call an apologetic coffee? Espresso SORRY!
67. Why are iced teas so good at secrets? They never spill the tea.
68. Why was the drink at the party so popular? It was bubbling with personality.
69. What do you call a nervous beer? Hop-eractive.
70. Why was the glass of water so good at math? It always knew when to multiply.
71. Why did the water bottle go to the gym? It wanted to work on its figure.
72. Why was the lemon so sour? It didn’t zest for life.
73. Why was the coffee so bad at tennis? It could never serve right.
74. Why did the milk shake? Because it saw the dessert spoon!
75. What do you call a very smart coffee? An a-Latte-cian.
76. Why was the orange juice a great journalist? It always squeezed out the truth.
77. Why was the bartender a great musician? He always knew the right mix.
78. What’s a water’s favorite music genre? Liquid Dubstep.
79. Why did the whiskey always score high? It was always on the rocks.
80. What does a cocktail say when it meets an old friend? Long time no sea breeze!
81. Why was the lemonade a poor comedian? It always made sour jokes.
82. Why did the teabag go to therapy? It had too many steep issues.
83. What did the coffee say to the sugar? I can’t espresso how much I need you!
84. Why do beers love nature? They feel brewed by the environment.
85. What do you call a polite soft drink? Soda-lightful.
86. Why did the espresso keep checking its watch? It was pressed for time.
87. Why did the milk go to the casino? It was feeling lactose and tolerant of risk.
88. What do you call an artist who drinks coffee? A “brew-talist”.
89. What did the soda say to the straw? Stop sucking up to me!
90. Why do bottles of cola make great detectives? They have a pop-top view of the scene.
91. Why did the glass of juice get an award? It had a great concentrate-ion.
92. What did the drink say when it saw a lemon? I’m in a zest for life!
93. Why was the cup of tea so artistic? It was always doodling on the mug.
94. What do you call a shot of whiskey that thinks it’s a car? A bourbon legend.
95. Why don’t soft drinks ever play hide and seek? They’re always getting canned.
96. What do you call a soda can that’s finished college? A graduate can-didate.
97. What do you call a coffee’s dream? A “pipe hot” fantasy.
98. Why did the milkshake go to therapy? It had whip-cream issues.
99. What’s a smoothie’s favorite workout? A fruit-ness routine.
100. Why do soft drinks make great comedians? They always crack a cold one.
101. What do you call a glass of water that can sing? A pitch-er perfect.
102. Why was the cocktail always single? It was always mixing signals.
103. What did the whiskey say to the ice cube? Chill out!
104. What do you call a soft drink that loves to dance? Fizz-ical education.
105. What’s a coffee’s favorite game? Espresso yourself!
106. Why was the tea bag so wise? It had a lot of steep thoughts.
107. What do you call a soda that loves art? A can-vas.
108. Why did the coffee mug go to the party? It heard there would be a lot of brew-haha!
109. Why was the coffee always in a rush? It was always getting mugged.
110. What do you call a bubbly personality at the bar? A gin and tonic!
111. Why did the cocktail love drama? It enjoyed stirring things up.
112. What do you call a grumpy coffee? Mocha-nnoyed.
113. Why did the tea go to school? It wanted to be a TEA-cher!
114. Why was the iced tea so creative? It had a lot of cool ideas.
115. Why was the beer always confused? It couldn’t keep its head straight.
116. Why did the soda get a promotion? It was really crushing it.
117. Why was the coffee pot always nervous? It kept getting in hot water.
118. What did the water say to the soda? You’re too sweet for me!
119. Why did the whiskey get a time out? It wouldn’t stop horsing around.
120. Why did the smoothie go to the gym? It wanted to blend in.
121. Why did the soda go to school? To become a fiz-sicist!
122. Why was the coffee bean always stressed? It couldn’t handle the daily grind.
123. Why was the milkshake a good storyteller? It had a lot of shake-spearian tales.
124. Why was the lemon drop so popular? It always knew how to pucker up!
125. Why did the cocktail get a ticket? It didn’t have a mixer’s license.

Wrapping Up

Cheers to the end of our hilarious drink-themed journey! We hope these jokes have brought a smile to your face and added some fizz to your day. Whether you prefer a steaming cup of coffee, a soothing cup of tea, or an ice-cold soda, there’s always room for laughter and amusement.

So, the next time you reach for your favorite drink, remember these jokes and share them with friends or fellow beverage enthusiasts. Laughter truly is the best garnish for any drink, and these jokes are the perfect recipe for a lighthearted moment. Stay hydrated, stay cheerful, and keep the jokes flowing!