150 humor jokes

  1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  2. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
  3. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  5. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
  6. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s R, but it’s actually the C!
  7. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
  8. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
  9. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  10. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They could crack up!
  11. Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets!
  12. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  13. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  14. What’s a computer’s favorite snack? Computer chips!
  15. Why was the computer cold? It left its windows open!
  16. Why did the music note break up with the other? Because it found a better composition!
  17. What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending!
  18. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”? Because every play has a cast!
  19. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints!
  20. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
  21. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience!
  22. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby!
  23. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  24. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick!
  25. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
  26. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a watermelon!
  27. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was already stuffed!
  28. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  29. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
  30. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
  31. Why was the broom late? It over swept!
  32. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
  33. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  34. Why was the math book afraid of the Bible? It thought it had too many numbers!
  35. Why don’t astronomers trust stars? Because they always twinkle!
  36. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
  37. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left!
  38. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
  39. Why was the bank called a river? Because it had a lot of current!
  40. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
  41. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because it was a fun-gi!
  42. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
  43. Why was the belt arrested? It was holding up a pair of pants!
  44. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore!
  45. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
  46. What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra!
  47. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
  48. What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? A bagel!
  49. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  50. What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear!
  51. Why did the scarecrow break up with the cornstalk? She was a-ear-resistible!
  52. How does the ocean say hello? It waves!
  53. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  54. Why was the math problem so proud of itself? Because it had all the solutions!
  55. Why couldn’t the green pepper practice archery? Because it didn’t habanero!
  56. Why did the gardener plant light bulbs? He wanted to grow a power plant!
  57. What do you call a snowman with a suntan? A puddle!
  58. Why did the teacher go to the beach? To test the water!
  59. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk!
  60. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
  61. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
  62. Why don’t ants ever get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies!
  63. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me!
  64. What’s a tree’s favorite drink? Root beer!
  65. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
  66. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  67. What’s a firefly’s favorite game? Hide and glow seek!
  68. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
  69. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
  70. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar!
  71. What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine!
  72. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time!
  73. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!
  74. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  75. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam!
  76. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!
  77. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
  78. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems!
  79. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  80. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
  81. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  82. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar!
  83. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  84. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  85. Why was the bicycle unable to stand up by itself? It was two tired!
  86. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience!
  87. What do you call a cat who can play the guitar? A musical meow-stro!
  88. Why did the music note break up with the other? Because it found a better composition!
  89. What did the banana say to the dog? Nothing, bananas can’t talk!
  90. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They could crack up!
  91. What’s a computer’s favorite snack? Computer chips!
  92. Why was the computer cold? It left its windows open!
  93. Why was the math book afraid of the Bible? It thought it had too many numbers!
  94. Why don’t astronomers trust stars? Because they always twinkle!
  95. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
  96. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left!
  97. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
  98. Why was the bank called a river? Because it had a lot of current!
  99. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
  100. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because it was a fun-gi!
  101. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
  102. Why was the belt arrested? It was holding up a pair of pants!
  103. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore!
  104. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
  105. What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra!
  106. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
  107. What do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? A bagel!
  108. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
  109. What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear!
  110. Why did the scarecrow break up with the cornstalk? She was a-ear-resistible!
  111. How does the ocean say hello? It waves!
  112. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  113. Why was the math problem so proud of itself? Because it had all the solutions!
  114. Why couldn’t the green pepper practice archery? Because it didn’t habanero!
  115. Why did the gardener plant light bulbs? He wanted to grow a power plant!
  116. What do you call a snowman with a suntan? A puddle!
  117. Why did the teacher go to the beach? To test the water!
  118. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk!
  119. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
  120. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
  121. Why don’t ants ever get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies!
  122. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me!
  123. What’s a tree’s favorite drink? Root beer!
  124. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
  125. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  126. What’s a firefly’s favorite game? Hide and glow seek!
  127. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
  128. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
  129. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar!
  130. What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine!
  131. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time!
  132. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant!
  133. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  134. Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam!
  135. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!
  136. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
  137. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems!
  138. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  139. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
  140. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  141. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar!
  142. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  143. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  144. Why was the bicycle unable to stand up by itself? It was two tired!
  145. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience!
  146. What do you call a cat who can play the guitar? A musical meow-stro!
  147. Why did the music note break up with the other? Because it found a better composition!
  148. What did the banana say to the dog? Nothing, bananas can’t talk!
  149. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They could crack up!
  150. What’s a computer’s favorite snack? Computer chips!

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