123 Bagel Jokes

Bagels, those delectable circular treats adored by many for their chewy goodness and delightful toppings, aren’t just a breakfast staple—they’re also the subject of some seriously witty and pun-filled humor.

Whether it’s their round shape, the “hole” concept, or their versatile nature, bagels have inspired an array of playful jokes that are bound to bring a smile to anyone’s face.

From witty one-liners to clever puns, these bagel jokes are as satisfyingly amusing as a freshly baked batch.

Let’s dive into a world of humor crafted around these beloved baked goods and explore the best bagel jokes that are sure to add a touch of doughy fun to your day.

Top 123 Bagel Jokes:

1. Why do bagels make terrible baseball players? They always get a hole in one.

2. Why did the bagel go to therapy? Because it couldn’t get over its everything complex.

3. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music? Poppy-seed!

4. Why do bagels never lose at tennis? They have a great serve.

5. How does a bagel ask someone out on a date? “I knead you in my life.”

6. Why don’t bagels ever get lost? They always roll with the right crowd.

7. How does a bagel like its coffee? Brewed to a ‘tea’.

8. What’s a bagel’s favorite yoga pose? The Lox position.

9. Why was the bagel a successful politician? Because it always spread the cream cheese evenly.

10. Why do bagels make bad detectives? Because they always have holes in their stories.

11. What’s a bagel’s favorite animal? A butter-fly.
12. How do you make a bagel disappear? Eat it – it’s scone!
13. Why did the bagel go to the gym? It wanted to work on its rolls.
14. Why don’t bagels use Tinder? Because they’ve already been burned before.
15. What do bagels wear to weddings? Dough ties.
16. What’s a bagel’s favorite dance? The Twist.
17. How does a bagel greet a friend? “Hello, dough you do!”
18. What did the bagel say to the loaf? “You’re so slice to meet you!”
19. Why did the bagel visit the dentist? It had a sesame seed stuck in its teeth.
20. Why did the bagel get promoted? It always went against the grain.
21. Why was the bagel a successful comedian? Because it knew how to roll with the puns.
22. Why did the bagel go to the bakery? To feel kneaded.
23. How do bagels stay in touch? They meet for brunch.
24. What’s a bagel’s favorite exercise? The doughnut hole.
25. What do you call a nervous bagel? All buttered up!
26. Why did the bagel bring a ladder? To reach the upper crust.
27. What’s a bagel’s favorite planet? Mars, because it’s red like strawberry jam.
28. What did the bagel say to the toaster? “You’re so hot!”
29. What’s a bagel’s life motto? “Don’t worry, be poppy.”
30. Why was the bagel a good actor? It always knew how to play the roll.
31. What’s a bagel’s favorite painting? The Starry Night by Van Dough.
32. Why did the bagel apply for a job? It wanted to earn some dough.
33. What did the bagel say to the fridge? “You’re so cool!”
34. Why was the bagel always happy? Because it had a jolly roll.
35. What do you call a bagel who can play the piano? A dough musician.
36. Why do bagels never get sunburn? Because they always use jelly for protection.
37. What’s a bagel’s favorite movie? “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Toasters”.
38. Why did the bagel go to the party? To have a roll-ing good time!
39. How does a bagel like its jokes? A little cheesy.
40. Why did the bagel break up with the donut? It found out she had a flaky past.
41. What’s a bagel’s favorite hairstyle? The bun.
42. Why are bagels so popular at the office? They’re great at schmearing messages.
43. Why was the bagel a great teacher? It never sugar-coated the truth.
44. What’s a bagel’s favorite flower? A poppy.
45. Why did the bagel join the circus? It wanted to show off its juggling rolls.
46. Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It felt a bit crumby.
47. What’s a bagel’s favorite Shakespearean play? “Much Adough About Nothing.”
48. Why don’t bagels get along with bread? They’re on a roll and bread is sliced!
49. Why did the bagel get an award? It was the best thing since sliced bread.
50. Why was the bagel a great lawyer? It always had a hole lot of evidence.
51. Why was the bagel unhappy with its vacation? It found it quite crumby.
52. What do you call a bagel with a PhD? A doughctor.
53. Why was the bagel a good friend? It was always there to lend a helping hand…or a hole.
54. Why did the bagel go shopping? It wanted to bagel some deals.
55. What’s a bagel’s favorite activity? Rollerskating.
56. Why was the bagel a good listener? It always took things grain by grain.
57. Why did the bagel break up with its girlfriend? She had too many buns in the oven.
58. Why did the bagel take up baking? To rise to the occasion.
59. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of tea? Chai seed.
60. Why did the bagel join the orchestra? It had a knack for the drums.
61. What’s a bagel’s favorite exercise? The breadlift.
62. Why do bagels make great friends? They always spread the love.
63. Why did the bagel join a band? It heard they needed a roll model.
64. Why don’t bagels ever get cold? They have a toasty personality.
65. What’s a bagel’s favorite book? “War and Yeast.”
66. What do bagels wear to job interviews? Suit and tie-dye.
67. Why do bagels always win debates? They never crumble under pressure.
68. Why are bagels so humble? They don’t like to boast, they prefer to toast.
69. What’s a bagel’s favorite superhero? Breadpool.
70. Why did the bagel go to the beach? To catch some rays-ins.
71. What’s a bagel’s favorite time of the year? Sprinkle break.
72. Why do bagels make great journalists? They always get the scoop.
73. Why was the bagel kicked out of the tennis club? It kept making a racket.
74. What do bagels wear to bed? Pajam-a spread.
75. Why do bagels always break up by text? They can’t handle the heat face to face.
76. What’s a bagel’s favorite game? I Spy-rye.
77. Why was the bagel popular at school? It was the bread of the class.
78. Why do bagels make poor secret agents? They’re too easy to pick up on.
79. What do you call a bagel who can’t sing? Tone-dough!
80. Why did the bagel go to the casino? To roll the dice.
81. What’s a bagel’s favorite weather? Lightly toasted.
82. Why did the bagel join a choir? It wanted to rise and shine.
83. What’s a bagel’s favorite sport? Base-bread.
84. Why do bagels make good comedians? They always have a hole lot of jokes.
85. What’s a bagel’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day.
86. What’s a bagel’s favorite hobby? Baking in the sun.
87. Why did the bagel go to the library? To read a novel-tea.
88. Why do bagels make good politicians? They’re great at bread-winning speeches.
89. Why was the bagel good at golf? It always had a hole in one.
90. What do bagels use to fix anything? Duct Tape-stry.
91. Why do bagels love puzzles? They love the knead to solve them.
92. What’s a bagel’s favorite Christmas song? “Rolling in a Winter Wonderland.”
93. Why did the bagel take the elevator? It was tired of the stairs.
94. What’s a bagel’s favorite board game? Sesame Street.
95. Why did the bagel join the navy? It wanted to roll the seven seas.
96. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of tree? A pumpernickel.
97. What’s a bagel’s favorite drink? Rye whiskey.
98. Why did the bagel go to the zoo? To see the bread pandas.
99. What’s a bagel’s favorite TV show? “The Fresh Loaf of Bel-Air.”
100. Why did the bagel become a baker? Because it wanted to rise to the top.
101. What’s a bagel’s favorite place to visit? The Bread Sea.
102. Why did the bagel become a firefighter? It couldn’t stand the heat, but it loved the kitchen.
103. What do bagels do at parties? They loaf around.
104. Why did the bagel go to the art museum? To appreciate the fine a-rye-ts.
105. Why did the bagel become a fashion designer? It had a taste for style.
106. Why did the bagel take a nap? It was tired of rolling around.
107. Why did the bagel become a philosopher? It wanted to answer the big questions like, “why do we knead?”
108. Why did the bagel go to space? It wanted to visit the milky whey.
109. Why did the bagel go to the bar? To meet some bread heads.
110. Why did the bagel become a gardener? It had a green thumb and a brown crust.
111. Why did the bagel get a pet dog? It wanted a companion to loaf around with.
112. Why did the bagel join a book club? It wanted to be on the same page with its friends.
113. What’s a bagel’s favorite fruit? A bread berry.
114. Why did the bagel go on a date with a muffin? It couldn’t resist her sweet nature.
115. What’s a bagel’s favorite city? Bagel-ham.
116. Why did the bagel go to the concert? To see Bread Sheeran.
117. What do bagels put on their skin? Sesame seed oil.
118. Why did the bagel become a mechanic? It had the right dough for the job.
119. Why did the bagel take up photography? It found beauty in the yeast of things.
120. What’s a bagel’s favorite clothing item? Loafers.
121. Why did the bagel go to the orchestra? It loved the sound of the bread section.
122. What’s a bagel’s favorite band? The Rolling Scones.
123. Why did the bagel go to the opera? To watch ‘Loaf-ely Butterfly’.

Conclusion

Bagels might be a beloved breakfast choice, but they also have a knack for serving up laughter with a side of clever puns.

From their ‘everything’ personality to their inherent ‘hole-y’ nature, these circular delights have inspired a delightful collection of jokes that never fail to tickle the funny bone.

So, the next time you’re enjoying a delicious bagel, remember these witty quips and add a sprinkle of humor to your day.

With their timeless appeal, bagel jokes are as satisfying as the first bite of a perfectly toasted, cream cheese-slathered treat.

Embrace the laughter, savor the humor, and revel in the delightful world of bagel-inspired comedy!