100 Tissue Jokes

Get ready to laugh and have a good time as we dive into a collection of tissue jokes that will leave you in stitches! Tissues may be small and unassuming, but they sure know how to bring the humor.

From puns to witty one-liners, these jokes are guaranteed to brighten your day. So, grab a tissue to wipe away your tears of laughter, and let’s delve into the world of tissue humor!

Here’re The Top 100 Tissue Jokes:

1. Why did the tissue go to the therapist? Because it had too many issues.
2. What did the tissue say to the nose? Stop blowing things out of proportion!
3. How do tissues dance? They boogie down.
4. What do you call a tissue that excels in academics? A tissue with a lot of degrees.
5. Why did the tissue refuse to play hide and seek? Because everyone always blows its cover!
6. What did the tissue say to the handkerchief? “You’re my cotton-pickin’ friend!”
7. What do you call a singing tissue? A handker-choir.
8. Why don’t tissues get lost? They always stick to their nose.
9. What does a tissue wear to a fancy dinner? A pocket square.
10. Why did the tissue stand in the corner? It didn’t want to be taken for granted.
11. Why did the tissue go to school? To become an issue-expert.
12. Why did the tissue join the gym? It wanted to get ripped!
13. Why did the tissue go to the party? To break it down when the beat drops.
14. What did the tissue say after a good joke? “I’m in stitches!”
15. What’s a tissue’s favorite exercise? The nose press.
16. What do you call a tissue that’s good at playing the trumpet? A blow-hard.
17. What do you call a scared tissue? Terrified tissue.
18. Why did the tissue fail the test? It just couldn’t pick up the material.
19. Why did the tissue stop in the middle of the road? It got caught in a snot.
20. What’s a tissue’s favorite band? The Rolling Snots.
21. Why don’t tissues like scary movies? They always come out in tears.
22. What’s a tissue’s favorite drink? Wipe wine.
23. What’s a tissue’s favorite dish? Sneezing spaghetti.
24. Why was the tissue so good at playing poker? It always knows when to fold.
25. Why did the tissue go to the dentist? It had a bad case of the gums.
26. Why don’t tissues like riddles? They get too twisted up.
27. What do tissues use to cut things? Snippers.
28. Why was the tissue good at maths? It always knew when to divide.
29. Why did the tissue visit the bank? It had a runny account.
30. What do you call a tissue who can play guitar? A rock-nose-star.
31. Why do tissues love summer? They get to have sun-sneezes.
32. Why did the tissue go to the doctor? It was feeling wiped out.
33. What do tissues use to catch fish? A snot net.
34. What did the tissue say to the other tissue at the party? Let’s blow this joint!
35. Why do tissues never lose at chess? They always know when to check-mate.
36. Why did the tissue get promoted? It was outstanding in its field.
37. What do you call a tissue in a play? An act-chew.
38. Why was the tissue invited to the picnic? Everyone knew it would bring the rolls.
39. What did the tissue say to the joke? You crack me up!
40. Why do tissues love playing soccer? They’re good at headers.
41. What’s a tissue’s favorite movie? Gone with the Wind.
42. Why was the tissue late for work? It got tied up in traffic.
43. Why do tissues like the beach? They get to ride the nose wave.
44. What do you call a tissue that paints? An art-chew-ist.
45. Why did the tissue join the circus? It was born to perform.
46. Why did the tissue go to the bar? To unwind.
47. What’s a tissue’s favorite sport? Nose-ball.
48. Why was the tissue bad at gardening? It always blew the seeds away.
49. Why do tissues never argue? They prefer to let it slide.
50. What’s a tissue’s favorite song? “Blowin’ in the Wind.”
51. Why did the tissue cross the road? To get to the other tissue.
52. Why do tissues make terrible secret agents? They always blow their cover.
53. What did one tissue say to the other at the farewell? “It’s snot you, it’s me.”
54. Why did the tissue get an award? For outstanding performance in a runny role.
55. Why do tissues hate winter? They don’t want to freeze and become snotcicles.
56. Why do tissues never win at cards? They always fold under pressure.
57. Why did the tissue get sent to the principal’s office? It blew up at the teacher.
58. Why do tissues make poor detectives? They can’t handle the snots and grime.
59. Why did the tissue refuse to play soccer? It was afraid of getting kicked around.
60. Why did the tissue go to the concert? It wanted to see the band rock out.
61. What did the tissue say to the broken heart? I’m here for your issues.
62. Why did the tissue fail music class? It couldn’t hit the high notes.
63. Why did the tissue get a timeout? It wouldn’t stop running.
64. Why was the tissue always at the front of the line? It didn’t want to get picked last.
65. Why did the tissue take a vacation? It needed to unwind.
66. What do you call a tissue with a sharp mind? A quick sneeze.
67. Why did the tissue go to the bakery? It wanted to roll with the dough.
68. Why did the tissue stop running? It had a blow out.
69. Why did the tissue become a philosopher? It wanted to ponder the issues.
70. Why did the tissue go to the spa? It needed a steam treatment.
71. Why did the tissue join the choir? It wanted to hit the high notes.
72. Why did the tissue go to the opera? It wanted to see a high-class performance.
73. Why did the tissue visit the library? It wanted to blow through some good books.
74. Why did the tissue start a band? It wanted to jam and blow.
75. What do you call a tissue at a disco? A dancing queen.
76. Why did the tissue go to the casino? It wanted to roll the dice.
77. Why was the tissue always picked first in gym class? It was a great catcher.
78. What did the tissue say to the flu? “You’re snot funny!”
79. Why did the tissue become a weatherman? It could predict when things would get runny.
80. Why was the tissue the star of the show? It stole the sneeze.
81. What’s a tissue’s favorite candy? Snot Drops.
82. What’s a tissue’s favorite type of story? A tear-jerker.
83. Why do tissues make terrible comedians? They always blow the punchline.
84. Why did the tissue join the circus? It was a good juggler.
85. What did the tissue say to the sick person? “You can count on me.”
86. Why was the tissue a great actor? It could always pull off a dramatic exit.
87. Why did the tissue take up photography? It liked to capture the moment.
88. What do you call a tissue in a rock band? A blow star.
89. Why did the tissue join the navy? It wanted to be a sea-sneezer.
90. Why did the tissue go camping? It wanted to be in-tents.
91. What’s a tissue’s favorite type of math? Geomet-ry (get it, you need it to try geometry)
92. What do tissues use to clean up messes? Themselves.
93. Why was the tissue bad at hide and seek? It always stuck out.
94. Why did the tissue go to the art museum? It had a runny appreciation for art.
95. What did the tissue say to the marathon runner? “You’re a real blow out.”
96. Why do tissues never lie? They’re always straight up.
97. Why did the tissue go to the casino? It was feeling lucky.
98. What’s a tissue’s favorite car? A Rolls Royce.
99. Why was the tissue the best detective? It could always sniff out the culprit.
100. Why do tissues love concerts? They get to catch the high notes.

Conclusion

We hope these tissue jokes have brought a smile to your face and brightened your day. Whether you’re blowing your nose or simply looking for a good laugh, these jokes have proven that tissues have a knack for comedy.

From their witty comebacks to their hilarious adventures, these little squares of paper have shown us that humor can be found in the simplest of things. So, the next time you reach for a tissue, remember the joy they’ve brought through their playful puns and silly antics.

Keep spreading the laughter and share these jokes with your friends and family. After all, laughter is the best medicine, and with tissues around, the laughter is never far away!