150 disneyland jokes
- Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into outer space? Because he wanted to find Pluto.
- What do you call a lost character in Disneyland? A Fantasia disaster!
- Why did Goofy wear two pairs of pants to Disneyland? In case he got a hole in one.
- Why do the Seven Dwarfs refuse to play hide and seek with Peter Pan? Because every time they hide, he never grows up and never seeks.
- Why did Captain Hook cross the road? To get to the second hand store.
- Why did Simba’s father always die in the video games? Because he couldn’t Mufasa!
- What is Captain Hook’s worst nightmare? Tick-tock.
- What does Winnie the Pooh call his girlfriend? Hunny!
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
- How do you make Lady and the Tramp blush? Mention the spaghetti incident.
- Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was trying to find Pooh!
- Why was Cinderella bad at soccer? Because her coach was a pumpkin.
- What did Snow White say when her photos weren’t ready yet? Someday my prints will come!
- Why did Ariel wear seashells? Because B shells were too small!
- What do you call a fast Disney character? Dash!
- Why did Aladdin go to the store? He needed a new carpet.
- What does Mike Wazowski order at Starbucks? A de-screamo.
- How does Mickey feel when Minnie is mad at him? Mice-erable.
- Why don’t Disney characters like to write with pens? Because they prefer character pencils.
- How do Disney princesses write their blogs? On their web-sites.
- What is Tarzan’s favorite song? Jungle bells.
- What do you call a dog that loves Disney movies? A Dalmatian.
- What’s Pinocchio’s least favorite movie? Lie Hard.
- Why was the math book unhappy at Disneyland? Because it had too many problems.
- What’s Disney’s favorite sweater? A Cinder-ella.
- What’s the difference between Disneyland and a jungle? One has a lot of wild rides, the other one is a theme park!
- Why was Elsa bad at baseball? Because she always froze up at the plate.
- Why don’t Disney villains have smartphones? Because they can’t seem to get good reception!
- Why did Buzz Lightyear go to school? To get to infinity and beyond.
- What’s Mulan’s favorite exercise? The sword swing.
- Why don’t Disney princesses tell secrets in the park? Because the walls have ears!
- Why did Belle win the race? Because she took a short-cut through the Beast’s castle.
- Why did Moana never get lost at sea? She always kept her current location.
- What did the Disney villain drive? A minivan.
- What’s Mickey Mouse’s favorite sport? Minnie-golf!
- What did Rapunzel say when she dropped her brush? I’m having a bad hair day!
- Why does Eeyore have so many friends? Because he always turns the other cheek!
- What do you call a fairy who doesn’t take baths? Stinker Bell.
- Why did the carpet and Aladdin become good friends? Because they always rolled together.
- Why did Ariel want to become human? She was tired of seafood.
- Why did Aurora miss her dinner? She slept through it!
- How do you know Donald Duck is ready for a joke? When he’s down for a quack-up!
- Why did Cinderella get kicked off the baseball team? She kept running away from the ball.
- Why doesn’t Gaston like to eat at Disneyland? The portions aren’t big enough for him.
- How does Elsa like her eggs? Frozen.
- Why don’t they serve fast food in Tomorrowland? It would be Yesterday’s meal.
- Why did Mickey go into outer space? He wanted to visit Pluto.
- Why don’t you ever see Disney characters hide behind the castle? Because it’s not a fairy-tale hiding spot!
- Why did Snow White make a great judge? Because she was the fairest of them all.
- Why did Pocahontas refuse a GPS device? She preferred to follow her path.
- Why was Baloo always a great help during exams? He always knew the “bear” necessities.
- Why did Alice ask the Mad Hatter for tea? She was looking for adventure in every cup.
- Why did everyone love the Pixar ball? It always had a lot of bounce.
- What’s Rapunzel’s favorite day of the week? Hair-day.
- What do you call Sleeping Beauty when she’s awake? Awake Beauty.
- Why did Belle get an award? Because she was outstanding in her “field.”
- How do you greet a Disney villain? How’s tricks?
- What’s Captain Hook’s favorite shop? The secondhand store.
- Why don’t characters from Frozen tell secrets? They’re afraid it will snowball out of control!
- What’s Bambi’s favorite exercise? Jumping over log hurdles.
- How does Maleficent take her coffee? Dark and bitter, just like her.
- What do you call Dumbo when he’s happy? Delighted Dumbo.
- How does Tinker Bell like her juice? Spritzy.
- Why is Peter Pan a great gardener? He neverlands his plants in the wrong spot!
- Why did Aladdin bring a ladder to Jasmine’s castle? He heard she lived on another level.
- What’s Tarzan’s favorite drink? A jungle juice.
- Why was Cinderella always calm? She knew how to handle her “shoe-s.”
- Why did Ariel want to leave the sea? She had bigger fish to fry.
- What’s Buzz Lightyear’s favorite picnic game? Rocket-ball.
- Why do Disney villains walk carefully? They don’t want to trigger the hero’s music.
- What did Woody say to Buzz Lightyear at the football game? “There’s a field goal in your boot!”
- How does Gaston like his meat? No one likes it rare like Gaston!
- What do you call it when Donald Duck takes a selfie? A quackshot!
- How does Olaf measure his height? In snowballs.
- What do you call Simba when he moved to the North? An Ice Lion.
- Why did Peter Pan make a great musician? He had perfect pitch – he never lands off key!
- Why did Mulan bring her sword to dinner? For the chop suey.
- How does the Mad Hatter organize a party? He always stirs things up!
- What is Beauty and the Beast’s favorite type of music? Ball-room.
- Why was Goofy always getting in trouble? He couldn’t keep his paws off anything!
- What did Pinocchio say to the woodpecker? “Keep it down, will ya?”
- Why did the Genie live in the lamp? Because he wanted to be a light sleeper.
- What did Simba say to Scar when he beat him at chess? “Check-mate!”
- Why did Donald Duck go to therapy? He was tired of his temper ruffling feathers.
- What’s Ariel’s favorite school subject? Algae-bra.
- What do you call Mike Wazowski when he’s asleep? A snooze-ball.
- What do you call a Dalmatian who likes to take baths? A wash-and-wear dog!
- Why did Prince Charming go to the fruit market? He was looking for his apple.
- What did Aladdin say when he got stuck in quicksand? “I’m sinking, Jasmine!”
- How does Captain Hook prefer his meals? Hand delivered.
- Why does Elsa love going to school? Because snowflakes are her favorite shape.
- Why did Moana go on her journey? She didn’t want to be tide down.
- What did Mickey say when Minnie asked if he was listening? “Of course, I’m all ears!”
- What does Tiana say when she bakes a perfect pie? “That’s the way the frog hops!”
- What do you call a fairy who likes to dance? Jitter-Bell.
- Why didn’t Alice like the flowers in Wonderland? They were always pushing up daisies!
- How do you make Stitch laugh? Give him a tickle under his tentacles!
- What’s the Jungle Book’s favorite meal? Bear necessities and a side of Baloo-berries.
- What is Wreck-It Ralph’s favorite hobby? Breaking the ice at parties.
- Why don’t characters in Disneyland tell secrets? Because the teacups have ears.
- Why was Gaston a bad soccer player? He never passed the ball, always wanted to be the “Belle” of the game!
- Why did Dumbo go to school? To improve his “ears-tory” grades.
- What’s Snow White’s favorite part of a joke? When it reaches its “apple-ex.”
- How does Woody like his drinks? With a “rootin’ tootin'” twist.
- What do you call a worried princess? Cinderella.
- Why did Scrooge McDuck never donate to charity? He couldn’t part with his “bills.”
- How does Ariel organize a party? She makes sure everything goes “swimmingly.”
- What’s Elsa’s favorite type of sandwich? Iceberg lettuce and snow-peas.
- What’s Minnie’s favorite type of cheese? Mice-arella.
- Why was Goofy a bad baseball player? He always “drooled” the ball!
- Why is Donald Duck always the first to know the gossip? Because he always keeps his “bill” to the ground.
- How do you catch a squirrel in Disneyland? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
- Why did Mickey Mouse become an astronaut? He wanted a job that was out of this world.
- How does the Mad Hatter like his eggs? Madly scrambled.
- What do you call a cat that lives in Disneyland? A Theme Purr-k resident.
- What’s Peter Pan’s favorite fast food place? Neverland Wendy’s.
- Why do Disney princesses always win at poker? Because they have all the royal “flushes.”
- Why did Simba’s teacher send a note to his father? Because he was “lion” about his homework.
- What does Belle use to see in the dark? Her Beast-light.
- What did Pooh Bear say when he got stuck? “Honey, I’m home.”
- Why do the Seven Dwarfs laugh while they play soccer? The grass tickles their knees.
- What did Genie say when Aladdin asked him to make him a sandwich? “Poof, you’re a sandwich.”
- What’s Mickey Mouse’s favorite dessert? Mice cream.
- Why did Mulan go to the bakery? To get a bun for her hairdo.
- How does Tinker Bell like her music? With a lot of bells and whistles.
- What does Captain Hook use to replace his hook? A point-and-click device.
- Why did Pocahontas plant an apple tree? She wanted to grow her own “Apple-ache.”
- What do you call a Wookiee in Disneyland? A fur-tunate visitor.
- Why did Tarzan get lost? Because jungle is massive.
- What is a Disney character’s favorite type of car? A Minnie-van.
- Why did Dumbo stop playing hide and seek? Because he could never hide his ears.
- Why does Rapunzel never lose at poker? She always has a royal “braid.”
- What is Mickey Mouse’s favorite dance? The Mice-ka Tango.
- How does the Beast like his steak? Beastly broiled.
- What’s Cinderella’s favorite type of music? Shoe-gaze.
- How does Pocahontas like her food? Wild and free.
- Why did Goofy stare at the juice? Because it said concentrate.
- How does Aladdin get his clothes so clean? With genie-us washing powder.
- Why was Mickey a great gardener? Because he had a green thumb and a lot of “mice.”
- Why did Ariel start a band? She wanted to make waves in the music industry.
- Why did Maleficent never trust her mirror? It always reflected badly on her.
- Why was the Disney script so good? It had a lot of character.
- Why did the Disney movie go to jail? Because it was a “cell” out.
- How does the Evil Queen like her apple? Poisoned, of course!
- What’s the Lion King’s favorite type of pasta? Roar-toni.
- What did Olaf find at the end of the rainbow? A pot of “frold.”
- Why did the Disney character bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
- What is Peter Pan’s favorite type of bread? Neverloaf.
- How does Ariel keep in touch with her friends? She drops them a shell.
- What does a Disney fan do after telling all these jokes? They “let it go.”