124 Hand Jokes

Welcome to a world filled with witty hand jokes and playful puns that will have you clapping with laughter! Hands are an essential part of our daily lives, but who knew they could also hold so much humor?

From talent shows to card games, parties to therapy sessions, and even the occasional visit to the disco, these hand jokes bring a unique twist to everyday situations. Join us on this delightful journey through a collection of hand-themed humor that will have you waving hello to endless chuckles!

Top 124 Hand Jokes:

1. Why did the hand win the talent show? Because it knew all the right moves!

2. Why don’t hands get along with feet? They can’t see eye to eye, or toe to finger!

3. Why did the hand go to the party? It heard there were going to be some high fives!

4. Why do hands make terrible secret keepers? Because they always talk with gestures!

5. Why did the hand get sent to detention? It was caught red-handed!

6. What do you call a hand that’s great at math? A digit-al genius!

7. Why did the hand refuse to play cards? It was tired of being dealt with!

8. Why did the hand go to the disco? To show off its finger pop!

9. Why did the finger go to school? To get a little bit of handucation!

10. Why don’t hands get lonely? Because they always hold hands!

11. Why do hands always win at poker? They always know when to fold!
12. Why did the hand become a gardener? Because it had a green thumb!
13. Why do hands make good detectives? They can always finger the culprit!
14. Why did the hand join the circus? Because it was really good at juggling tasks!
15. What did one hand say to the other? “We’re in good hands.”
16. Why are hands bad at keeping time? Because they always have too much on their hands!
17. What’s a hand’s favorite song? “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles!
18. Why did the hand break up with the glove? It felt too smothered!
19. What did the thumb say to the finger? “You’re not my type, I’m more of a digit-al lover!”
20. What’s the hand’s favorite movie? “Catch Me If You Can!”
21. Why was the hand a terrible actor? It always gave away the plot with a wave!
22. Why did the hand go to therapy? It couldn’t handle everything!
23. Why did the hand get a ticket? It made an illegal turn signal!
24. What’s the hand’s favorite game? Handball, of course!
25. Why did the hand stay at home? It wanted to catch up on its palm reading!
26. What do you call a hand that’s always in trouble? A handful!
27. Why do hands make bad musicians? Because they always play by ear!
28. Why did the hand get a job in construction? It was handy!
29. Why did the hand get lost? It didn’t know the left from the right!
30. What did the hand say when it got a manicure? Nail-ed it!
31. What’s a hand’s favorite drink? Finger ale!
32. Why did the hand go on a diet? It had too many rolls!
33. What did the right hand say to the left hand? “I know we don’t always agree, but we have to stick together.”
34. Why do hands always win at chess? Because they know all the right moves!
35. Why was the hand great at baseball? Because it knew how to catch!
36. Why did the finger go to the bar? To get a little tip-sy!
37. Why did the hand go to space? It wanted to give the moon a high-five!
38. What do you call a hand that can predict the future? Palm reader!
39. What do you call a hand with no fingers? Useless!
40. Why did the hand visit the therapist? It couldn’t stop picking things up!
41. What do you call a hand that’s been in a blender? A hand shake!
42. Why don’t hands need GPS? They always follow their fingers!
43. Why did the hand join a dating site? It was looking for the right match!
44. Why did the hand go to the museum? It was drawn to the hand-painted art!
45. What’s a hand’s favorite type of tea? Fingers and ginger!
46. Why did the hand cross the road? To give the chicken a high five!
47. Why was the hand always broke? It had a spending palm!
48. Why do hands never get tired? Because they’re always resting on their palms!
49. Why did the hand get a promotion? Because it knew how to handle things!
50. What’s a hand’s favorite city? Palm Springs!
51. Why was the hand great at magic? Because it had fast fingers!
52. Why did the hand go to the beach? It wanted to wave at the sea!
53. Why was the hand a great salesman? It had a good grip on things!
54. What’s a hand’s favorite type of music? Jazz hands!
55. Why did the hand refuse to fight? It preferred to make peace signs!
56. Why did the hand join the choir? It wanted to be a part of the hand-chime group!
57. What do you call a hand that lies? Under-handed!
58. What do you call a hand with a mind of its own? Hand-dy dandy!
59. Why did the hand go to the music concert? To clap along to the beat!
60. Why was the hand great at writing? Because it knew how to handle a pen!
61. Why did the hand get in trouble at school? It couldn’t keep its fingers to itself!
62. Why do hands hate winter? Because they get frost-fingers!
63. What’s a hand’s favorite dance? The hand jive!
64. Why did the hand fail the test? It couldn’t keep up with the pencil!
65. Why did the hand lose the race? It was left-handed!
66. Why was the hand nervous about the math exam? It couldn’t count on its fingers!
67. Why do hands make terrible comedians? They always play their hand too soon!
68. What do you call a hand that tells bad jokes? A handful!
69. Why did the hand join the military? To be a part of the infantry!
70. Why was the hand upset with the wrist? It felt taken for granted!
71. Why did the hand go to the casino? To try its luck at the hand-icaps!
72. Why did the hand get into politics? It wanted to lend a hand!
73. Why was the hand a bad baker? It always messed up the hand-rolled dough!
74. Why did the hand become a barber? It was handy with scissors!
75. What did the thumb say to the little finger? “You’re under a-rest!”
76. Why do hands hate riddles? They’re too hand-uous!
77. Why did the hand start exercising? It wanted to get fit fingers!
78. Why did the hand go to the market? It was looking for finger food!
79. What do you call a hand that bakes cookies? A hand-treat maker!
80. Why did the hand go to the gym? It wanted to lift some finger weights!
81. Why was the hand a good musician? It knew how to finger the right notes!
82. Why did the hand go to the beauty parlor? It needed a new set of nails!
83. Why do hands make bad drivers? They can’t stop waving!
84. Why was the hand good at archery? It had a firm grip!
85. What do you call a hand that knows everything? A smart palm!
86. Why did the hand get a sunburn? It forgot to apply palm lotion!
87. Why did the hand get an award? It was always on point!
88. Why was the hand a great boxer? It always knew when to punch!
89. Why do hands never get lost? They always point in the right direction!
90. What do you call a hand that loves to draw? An artist’s hand!
91. Why did the hand start a rock band? It had the perfect drummer fingers!
92. Why do hands make great teachers? They always point out the important stuff!
93. Why was the hand always broke? It spent all its cash on nail polish!
94. Why did the hand never get any spam email? It had a strong grip on its inbox!
95. Why did the hand join a basketball team? It wanted to get its hands on the ball!
96. What’s a hand’s favorite vegetable? Fingerling potatoes!
97. Why did the hand get stuck at the bar? It couldn’t resist the finger food!
98. Why was the hand a great sculptor? It could shape anything it touched!
99. Why did the hand become a writer? It had a knack for gripping tales!
100. Why did the hand become a chef? It had a hand in every pie!
101. What’s a hand’s favorite dessert? Finger food pie!
102. Why was the hand bad at hide and seek? It always stuck out!
103. Why do hands make terrible DJs? They always skip the beat!
104. What’s a hand’s favorite exercise? Finger push-ups!
105. Why was the hand good at baseball? It was a great catcher!
106. Why did the hand love Halloween? It could scare people with its skeleton fingers!
107. Why did the hand become a carpenter? It was good at handling wood!
108. Why did the hand go to the Olympics? To win the gold in handball!
109. Why was the hand a good gardener? It had a green thumb!
110. Why did the hand love yoga? It had flexible fingers!
111. Why did the hand become a painter? It loved getting messy!
112. Why was the hand a great detective? It could pick up any clue!
113. Why did the hand go to the dance? It wanted to palm-salsa!
114. What’s a hand’s favorite sport? Handball, no doubt!
115. Why did the hand visit the optician? It wanted to see the fine print!
116. Why did the hand go to the bakery? It wanted some finger buns!
117. Why did the hand go to the circus? It wanted to try the handstand!
118. Why do hands make poor soccer players? They can’t resist catching the ball!
119. Why was the hand a good chess player? It always had the upper hand!
120. Why did the hand go to the dentist? It needed a hand with its toothache!
121. Why did the hand go to the spa? It needed a palm massage!
122. Why did the hand become a poet? It had a way with words!
123. Why did the hand make a great fashion designer? It had a finger on the pulse of fashion!
124. Why did the hand go to the bookstore? It wanted to pick up a gripping novel!

Conclusion

Hands down, pun intended, these hand jokes have given us a firm grip on entertainment! From the amusing antics of hands joining circuses, exploring the world of high-fives, to their aspirations in music, art, and even sports, these jokes have showcased the playful side of our trusty appendages.

Whether it’s a nod to their penchant for wordplay, their roles in various scenarios, or their infamous secrets and gestures, these jokes prove that humor is always within arm’s reach.

So, next time you’re lending a hand or catching a glimpse of your fingers, remember these lighthearted moments and let a smile ‘hand’-le the day!