150 Pencil Jokes

Pencil jokes—quirky, pun-filled, and always on point! Pencils might be humble writing tools, but they have inspired a vast array of witty humor. From playful quips about their sharpness to clever wordplay on their functions, pencil jokes never fail to draw a smile.

These seemingly simple instruments become the stars of jest, weaving tales of their eraser-topped adventures and lead-filled escapades. Join the fun as we explore a collection of pencil-themed humor that’s sure to sketch a grin on your face!

Top 150 Pencil Jokes:

1. Why don’t pencils need to go on vacation? Because they always feel sharp.

2. Why did the pencil cross the road? To get to the other side of the story.

3. How do you communicate with a broken pencil? With “broken” English.

4. What do you call a pencil that isn’t sharp? Pointless!

5. Why was the pencil always in trouble? It always pushed the point.

6. Why don’t pencils make good secret keepers? Because you can always see their lead.

7. Why was the pencil so pale? It wasn’t feeling very “write”.

8. Why did the pencil go to school? It wanted to become a ruler.

9. Why did the pencil win an award? Because it was outstanding in its “field”.

10. Why was the pencil so good at drawing? Because it could always sketch out a plan.

11. Why couldn’t the pencil make a decision? It was on the fence-il.
12. What’s a pencil’s favorite place? Pennsylvania.
13. What do you call a pencil when it’s not yours? A “pen” thief.
14. What’s a pencil’s favorite time of day? “Drawn.”
15. Why don’t pencils fight with each other? They always find a point of agreement.
16. How does a pencil feel when it makes a mistake? It feels really “eras-ed”.
17. Why are pencils never lonely? Because they always hang out in a pencil case.
18. What’s a pencil’s favorite music? “Lead” Zeppelin.
19. Why do pencils hate tests? They always get worn out.
20. Why couldn’t the two pencils become friends? Because they couldn’t get to the point.
21. Why was the pencil proud of its son? He was really good at making his “mark”.
22. Why don’t pencils go on dates? They’re afraid they’ll get “lead” on.
23. What do you call a lazy pencil? A “doodle” dawdler.
24. How did the pencil propose to its partner? With a “ring” binder.
25. Why did the pencil become a referee? It knew all the “lines”.
26. What do you call a pencil who always tells the truth? Straightforward.
27. What do you call an evil pencil? Sin-cil.
28. What is a pencil’s favorite drink? Pencil-illin.
29. Why do pencils always get lost? Because they lead such a sketchy existence.
30. Why did the pencil go to the gym? It wanted to get more “defined”.
31. Why did the pencil go broke? Because it always went for broke.
32. What’s a pencil’s favorite sport? “Draw”-ing.
33. Why did the pencil refuse to be a detective? It didn’t want to get to the bottom of it.
34. Why did the pencil stop writing? It got the “lead” out.
35. Why don’t pencils lie? They’re too straightforward.
36. Why do pencils hate jokes? Because they always have to get to the “point”.
37. What do you call a pencil that likes to sing? A “note”-worthy performer.
38. Why do pencils always win at hide and seek? They always hide in plain “site”.
39. What did the pencil say to the paper? I’ve got a point to make!
40. Why was the pencil shivering? It lost its “jacket”.
41. Why did the pencil stop in its tracks? It didn’t want to go off on a tangent.
42. What’s a pencil’s least favorite day of the week? “Erase”-er day.
43. What do you call a pencil who is a great artist? Leonardo da Pencil.
44. How do pencils stay in touch? They use a pencil “phone”.
45. Why don’t pencils use computers? They’re afraid of getting their “lead” hacked.
46. Why did the pencil refuse to duel? It knew it would be a draw.
47. How does a pencil get around? It takes the “scenic route”.
48. What’s a pencil’s favorite type of dog? A “sketch”-hound.
49. Why are pencils great detectives? They always “draw” conclusions.
50. Why was the pencil grinning? It was feeling “sharp”.
51. Why don’t pencils like to gossip? They don’t want to be drawn into drama.
52. What’s a pencil’s favorite type of music? Graph-ite Metal.
53. Why did the pencil break up with the eraser? It felt rubbed the wrong way.
54. How does a pencil feel after a long day of work? Worn down to the nub.
55. What do you call a pencil in space? A “space” writer.
56. Why was the pencil always tired? It worked itself down to a stub.
57. Why did the pencil get a ticket? It crossed the line.
58. What did the pencil say to the eraser? You always take what I say the wrong way.
59. What’s a pencil’s favorite dance? The “twist”.
60. Why are pencils great magicians? They always have a few tricks “up their sleeve”.
61. What does a pencil say when it’s mad? That’s the “last straw”.
62. Why don’t pencils like fast food? It doesn’t make them feel “sharp”.
63. Why did the pencil become a journalist? It always wanted to make a point.
64. How does a pencil say goodbye? Write soon!
65. Why did the pencil go to therapy? It couldn’t get straight to the point.
66. Why did the pencil apply for a job? It was tired of being “unemployed”.
67. Why did the pencil never get lost? It always knew where to “draw” the line.
68. Why did the pencil become an architect? It always had a blueprint.
69. Why did the pencil break its promise? It was under too much pressure.
70. Why are pencils great sailors? They always know their “lines”.
71. Why was the pencil worried about its future? It couldn’t see past the end of its nose.
72. What do you call a pencil with a great personality? “Charismatic”.
73. Why did the pencil never break a promise? It always sticks to its word.
74. What’s a pencil’s favorite weather? A light “drizzle”.
75. What’s a pencil’s favorite type of movie? A “sketch” comedy.
76. What’s a pencil’s favorite holiday? Christmas, because of all the “presents”.
77. Why was the pencil a great athlete? It always stayed on track.
78. Why don’t pencils like romance? They always end up broken-hearted.
79. What’s a pencil’s favorite book? “To Kill a Mockingbird”, because it was written with a pencil.
80. Why did the pencil become a teacher? It was good at “drawing” out potential.
81. Why did the pencil get an award? Because it had done a “remarkable” job.
82. Why did the pencil go to jail? Because it was part of a “shady” deal.
83. What did the pencil say to the rude eraser? Stop erasing my personality!
84. What’s a pencil’s favorite TV show? “Game of Thrones”, because it was drawn out.
85. Why was the pencil always late? It couldn’t keep up with the “times”.
86. Why did the pencil refuse to draw a circle? It didn’t want to go around in circles.
87. What do you call a pencil who can play the guitar? A “note”-worthy talent.
88. Why did the pencil become an accountant? It was good at keeping “accounts”.
89. What’s a pencil’s favorite type of meal? A “light” snack.
90. Why did the pencil never interrupt? It always had a good “point”.
91. Why don’t pencils make good friends? They can be a bit sketchy.
92. What’s a pencil’s favorite type of cake? “Carrot”, because it can be drawn.
93. What’s a pencil’s favorite city? “Lead”-ville.
94. Why did the pencil get a time out? It wouldn’t quit drawing on the walls.
95. Why do pencils hate running races? They always get “lead” astray.
96. Why did the pencil like to meditate? It always felt more “sharp”.
97. Why did the pencil get bad grades? It couldn’t get to the “point”.
98. Why don’t pencils like to go out at night? They’re afraid of the “dark”.
99. Why was the pencil a great leader? It always took the “lead”.
100. Why did the pencil always look confused? It couldn’t “make up its mind”.
101. What did the eraser say to the pencil? I’ll be there when you make a mistake.
102. What’s a pencil’s favorite hobby? “Draw”-ing conclusions.
103. Why are pencils so humble? They’re always being put down.
104. Why did the pencil get expelled from school? It kept pushing all the wrong buttons.
105. Why don’t pencils like riddles? They can’t handle the “twist”.
106. Why was the pencil afraid of the chalk? It didn’t want to get “chalked” up.
107. What’s a pencil’s favorite type of shoes? “Sketch”-ers.
108. Why don’t pencils like public speaking? They always get “lead” astray.
109. Why was the pencil a good lawyer? It always got straight to the “point”.
110. Why was the pencil a great student? It was always taking notes.
111. What do you call a pencil that’s done with work? “Retired”.
112. What did the pencil say to its twin? You’re just a copy of me!
113. Why don’t pencils use maps? They always know where they’re “heading”.
114. Why did the pencil refuse to move? It was stuck in its ways.
115. Why don’t pencils like the summer? They feel too “drawn” out.
116. What’s a pencil’s favorite type of joke? One that’s really “sharp”.
117. Why did the pencil refuse to take a bath? It didn’t want to get “wet”.
118. Why did the pencil join the circus? It wanted to “draw” a crowd.
119. Why was the pencil in a band? It could always “note” the rhythm.
120. Why was the pencil jealous of the pen? It had permanent results.
121. Why did the pencil go to a bar? It needed to be “sharpened”.
122. Why was the pencil a great salesman? It always knew how to “draw” attention.
123. Why was the pencil a great comedian? It had a dry sense of humor.
124. Why did the pencil become a politician? It wanted to make a “mark” in the world.
125. Why was the pencil a good gardener? It had a green thumb, in a “graphite” sort of way.
126. Why did the pencil never feel alone? It always had a “point” of contact.
127. Why was the pencil always first to finish a race? It was always ahead of the “curve”.
128. Why did the pencil apply sunscreen? It didn’t want to get “burned”.
129. Why did the pencil get a dog? It needed a “barking” buddy.
130. Why did the pencil never argue? It didn’t like to “cross” words.
131. Why did the pencil go to a concert? It loved to hear the “notes”.
132. Why was the pencil always cheerful? It always saw the “bright” side.
133. Why did the pencil refuse to play chess? It was afraid of the “checkmate”.
134. What did the pencil say to the pen? I’m just a little bit “pointier” than you.
135. Why did the pencil become a storyteller? It loved to “draw” out the story.
136. Why was the pencil a great chef? It could always “sketch” out a recipe.
137. What’s a pencil’s favorite type of clothing? A “sharp”-suit.
138. Why did the pencil become a poet? It had a “point” of view.
139. Why did the pencil stop rolling? It hit a “point” of inertia.
140. Why did the pencil join the army? It wanted to “serve” its country.
141. Why did the pencil refuse to draw an angle? It didn’t want to be “acute”.
142. What’s a pencil’s favorite type of car? A “draw”-gster.
143. Why did the pencil refuse to argue with the eraser? It didn’t want to be rubbed out.
144. Why did the pencil refuse to read a book? It didn’t want to get “drawn” in.
145. What do you call a pencil who tells funny jokes? A “wit”-ness.
146. Why did the pencil go to a meeting? It had a point to bring up.
147. What did the pencil say to the sharpener? You’re driving me crazy!
148. Why did the pencil refuse to go swimming? It didn’t want to get waterlogged.
149. Why was the pencil so good at hide and seek? It always blended in.
150. Why did the pencil always win at poker? It had a great “poker face”.

Conclusion

The world of pencil jokes is a testament to the enduring humor found in everyday objects. Through clever wordplay and light-hearted jests, these humble writing tools have become the protagonists of our laughter. From their pointed wit to their ability to erase the seriousness of any moment, pencils have truly become the unsung heroes of comedy.

So, the next time you pick up a pencil, remember the laughter it inspired, reminding us that even the simplest things can draw out the joy in life. Keep sharpening your sense of humor, and may your days be as full of laughter as these pencil jokes!