125 Pumpkin Jokes

Pumpkins, synonymous with autumn and cherished as a staple of fall festivities, often bring smiles and laughter with their friendly appearance. Beyond their culinary uses, these vibrant orange gourds also inspire a trove of puns and jokes. From clever wordplay to playful humor, pumpkin jokes have a way of brightening even the darkest October nights.

Whether you’re carving jack-o’-lanterns, baking delicious pies, or simply reveling in the festive season, these jokes are here to tickle your funny bone. Let’s dive into a patch of amusing pumpkin jokes that are bound to make you grin from stem to vine.

Top 125 Pumpkin Jokes:

1. Why don’t pumpkins ever quarrel? Because they have no beef, only seeds!

2. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin Pi!

3. Why was the pumpkin a great musician? Because it had all the organ-ic skills!

4. Why don’t pumpkins get invited to fancy parties? They’re always showing up smashed!

5. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker? “Why’d you gotta be so crusty?”

6. Why did the pumpkin go to school? To get a little more pulp-culture!

7. How do pumpkins fix things? With a pumpkin patch!

8. What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin carver? “Cut it out!”

9. What’s orange and faster than a speeding train? A pumpkin rolling down a hill!

10. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o’-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin π!

11. What did the pumpkin say to the pumpkin thief? “I’m watching you like a hawk-o’-lantern!”
12. Why did the pumpkin sit on the porch? It was trying to squash the rumors!
13. Why don’t pumpkins ever watch horror movies? They don’t want to wet their plants!
14. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash!
15. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
16. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport? Squash!
17. What do pumpkins use for money? Seeds, because they’re a growing currency!
18. Why was the pumpkin always stressed? It had too many seeds of doubt!
19. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite subject in school? History – they love a good carving!
20. Why don’t pumpkins like rain? It dampens their spirits!
21. What do you call a pumpkin who plays the trumpet? A horn-o’-lantern!
22. What do pumpkins snack on at the movies? Pop-corn!
23. Why did the pumpkin use a pen? It wanted to squash out a letter!
24. What do you call a large pumpkin who can sing? A jumbo-kin!
25. What’s a pumpkin’s least favorite room? The living room – it prefers the patch!
26. Why did the pumpkin go to therapy? It had deep-seeded issues!
27. How does a pumpkin keep its pants up? With a gourd-er belt!
28. What did the grape say to the pumpkin? “Stop gourding all the attention!”
29. Why did the pumpkin start a business? It wanted to grow its seed capital!
30. What do you call a pumpkin who works at a bakery? A pie-taster!
31. How do you make a pumpkin stop charging? You take away its credit cards!
32. Why was the pumpkin so good at baseball? It was a natural pitcher!
33. What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a detective? Sherlock Gourds!
34. Why was the pumpkin a bad comedian? It always forgot the punchline!
35. Why did the pumpkin become an actor? It had a flare for the dramatics!
36. Why was the pumpkin so messy? It always spilled its guts!
37. What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a snake? A python that loves pumpkin pies!
38. How did the pumpkin become a politician? It started from the ground up!
39. Why was the pumpkin a good listener? It was all ears… well, at least it had vines!
40. Why did the pumpkin never lie? It was always transparent!
41. Why do pumpkins never get lost? Because they grow on vines!
42. Why was the pumpkin always warm? It had a built-in jacket!
43. What did the pumpkin say after it won the lottery? “I’m rich, vine and dandy!”
44. What do you call a pumpkin that works out? Pump-kin iron!
45. What did the pumpkin say at the Halloween dance? “Let’s pumpkin to the beat!”
46. What do you call a pumpkin comedian? A jester gourd!
47. Why did the pumpkin bring a suitcase to the farm? It wanted to pack up its belongings!
48. What do you call a pumpkin that floats? A buoy-gourd!
49. Why did the pumpkin get a job at the coffee shop? It had a latte experience!
50. What do you get when you cross a pumpkin and a snowman? Frost on the gourd!
51. What do you call a well-mannered pumpkin? A polite gourd!
52. What do pumpkins use to bake a cake? Their mixing gourd!
53. Why did the pumpkin become a gardener? It wanted to dig up its roots!
54. Why was the pumpkin such a great painter? It always drew a crowd!
55. Why did the pumpkin go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!
56. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of music? Vine-yl records!
57. Why don’t pumpkins ever play hide and seek with beans? Because they always spill the beans!
58. Why was the pumpkin so good at chess? It was a check-mate specialist!
59. Why did the pumpkin date the watermelon? They were in-veg-orating together!
60. What do you call a pumpkin with a great voice? A sing-kin!
61. Why was the pumpkin so good at math? It was a natural squarer!
62. Why did the pumpkin go to the beach? It wanted to catch some sunflower seeds!
63. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of poem? A vine-ette!
64. What do you call a pumpkin who can dance? A jive gourd!
65. Why was the pumpkin always early? It didn’t want to be vine-d!
66. Why did the pumpkin refuse to play cards? It was afraid of getting carved!
67. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of bread? Seed-dough!
68. Why did the pumpkin study medicine? It wanted to become a gourd-geon!
69. What do you call a pumpkin who’s good at bowling? A strike-kin!
70. Why did the pumpkin become a journalist? It wanted to squash the fake news!
71. What do you call a pumpkin who lifts weights? A heavy gourd!
72. Why don’t pumpkins make good secret agents? They’re too easy to squash!
73. How did the pumpkin apologize? It said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be vine!”
74. What do you call a pumpkin that practices yoga? A flexible gourd!
75. What do you call a pumpkin that knows karate? A gourd-geous fighter!
76. Why did the pumpkin become a baker? It kneaded a change!
77. What do you call a pumpkin with a bad temper? A fiery gourd!
78. What do you call a pumpkin who is good at basketball? A slam gourd!
79. Why did the pumpkin start a band? It had the chops for it!
80. Why did the pumpkin use sunscreen? It didn’t want to turn into a squash!
81. What do you call a pumpkin with a great memory? A remember-gourd!
82. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite planet? Mars, because it’s red like a ripe pumpkin!
83. Why did the pumpkin cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
84. What do you call a fast pumpkin? A speedy gourd-zales!
85. Why did the pumpkin go to the library? It wanted to check out a vine novel!
86. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite mode of transport? Vine-yards!
87. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite city? Vine-couver!
88. Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they don’t want to squash their friendship!
89. Why did the pumpkin stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of vine!
90. What do you call a pumpkin that’s gone bad? A despica-gourd!
91. Why was the pumpkin always calm? It was a medi-tater!
92. Why did the pumpkin wear a watch? It wanted to keep up with the vine-times!
93. Why did the pumpkin join the gym? It wanted to work on its pumpkin abs!
94. Why did the pumpkin wear a helmet? It was going gourd-biking!
95. Why did the pumpkin start a band? It had a lot of pluck!
96. What do you call a scared pumpkin? A chicken gourd!
97. What do you call a pumpkin that likes to swim? A diving gourd!
98. Why did the pumpkin sit on the hill? It wanted to have a gourd’s eye view!
99. Why did the pumpkin go to college? It had big dreams of becoming a phi-gourd-mathicist!
100. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite exercise? Vine-ups!
101. Why did the pumpkin visit the eye doctor? It had a bad case of vine-sight!
102. What do you call a pumpkin that plays soccer? A goal gourd!
103. Why did the pumpkin join the orchestra? It had a knack for string instruments!
104. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of TV show? Vine-time dramas!
105. Why did the pumpkin go to the spa? It wanted a gourd-geous glow!
106. Why did the pumpkin start a travel blog? It wanted to share its vine-tastic journeys!
107. Why did the pumpkin start a diary? It was feeling vine and dandy!
108. What do you call a pumpkin that likes to read? A book gourd!
109. Why did the pumpkin join the circus? It wanted to be a vine-walker!
110. Why did the pumpkin start a chat show? It was full of vine-tastic stories!
111. What do you call a pumpkin who likes winter? A snow gourd!
112. Why was the pumpkin a good lawyer? It had a solid gourd case!
113. Why did the pumpkin visit the psychologist? It had deep-seeded issues!
114. Why did the pumpkin wear a mask? It was gourd of germs!
115. Why did the pumpkin go to the hospital? It felt a little vine!
116. What do you call a pumpkin who’s a master chef? Gordon Ramsquash!
117. Why did the pumpkin become a teacher? It had a lot of class!
118. Why was the pumpkin a good gardener? It really knew how to rake it in!
119. Why did the pumpkin go to the opera? It wanted to become a vine-tuoso!
120. What do you call a pumpkin that enjoys fishing? A reel gourd!
121. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of candy? Gourd-y bears!
122. Why did the pumpkin get a smartphone? It wanted to vine with the times!
123. Why did the pumpkin take a nap? It was vine-tired!
124. Why did the pumpkin visit the museum? It had a thirst for gourd art!
125. What do you call a pumpkin who is good at chess? Check-mate gourd!

Conclusion

Pumpkin jokes, with their witty and lighthearted nature, add a touch of whimsy to the fall season. Embracing the playful spirit of these gourd-based quips can turn any autumn day into a delight. As you carve, bake, or simply enjoy the sight of these cheerful gourds adorning doorsteps, these jokes bring an extra layer of festivity.

So, whether you’re sharing them with friends and family or enjoying a chuckle alone, remember that these playful puns can keep the spirit of the season as warm as a freshly baked pumpkin pie.