57+ batman jokes
Why did Batman take a break from fighting crime?
Because he got tired of “bat-ling”!
Why does Batman always win at cards?
Because he always has a Joker up his sleeve!
What’s Batman’s favorite fruit?
Bannana-na-na-na-na!
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale!
Why does Batman always shop online?
He hates Robin!
Why does Batman put his gadgets in his belt?
He doesn’t have enough pockets in his batpants!
How did Batman do in his exams?
He passed with flying “bats”!
Why can’t Batman go fishing?
Because Robin ate all the worms!
What’s Batman’s favorite part of a joke?
The “punch” line!
What’s Batman’s favorite exercise?
Bat-lifts!
Why was Batman good at baseball?
Because he’s a great bat-er!
What’s Batman’s favorite type of music?
Bat-tening classical!
Why did Batman go to school?
To get his “bat-chelor’s” degree!
How does Batman’s mother call him for dinner? “Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, Batman!”
Why did Batman become a gardener?
Because he loved plant-tom!
What’s Batman’s favorite animal?
Besides bats, he’s also fond of Robins!
Why does Batman never get sunburned?
Because he works in the bat-shade!
Why does Batman never laugh at Mr.
Freeze’s jokes?
They’re too cold for his taste!
How does Batman take his coffee?
Black.
No sugar.
No cream.
No joker.
What is Batman’s favorite soap?
Bathtub and Body Works!
What do you call it when Batman leaves church early?
Christian Bale!
Why doesn’t Batman ever get bitten by a vampire?
Because they’re too afraid he might bite back!
Why did Batman bring a pencil to the fight?
To draw the line!
How does Batman like his pizza?
Gotham style with extra cheese!
Why does Batman always carry an umbrella?
Just in case Penguin pops up!
What does Batman say to his Batmobile before a long trip?
Bat-ter up!
How does Batman stay in shape?
He runs around Gotham every night!
Why did Batman take a job at the circus?
He’s great at acro-batics!
Why did Batman get a ticket?
His Batmobile didn’t have enough bat-seat belts!
What do you call a fight between Batman and a cat?
A bat-tle of claws!
Why does Batman always work at night?
Because he’s not a morning bat!
What’s Batman’s favorite type of math?
Alge-bat!
Why doesn’t Batman play hide and seek with Catwoman?
Because she always finds a purr-fect hiding spot!
Why did Batman bring a ladder to the bar?
Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did Batman visit the dentist?
To check his bat-cuspid!
How does Batman ask Catwoman out? “Would you like to go for a bat and a bite?”
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? “Get in the car, Robin!”
Why doesn’t Batman like fast food?
Because it’s not bat for your health!
Why does Batman keep a journal?
To record his dark knight thoughts!
Why did Batman cross the road?
To get to the Batcave!
What is Batman’s favorite vegetable?
Bat-atoes!
Why does Batman never wear white?
Because he prefers the dark side!
Why did Batman bring a broom to the fight?
To sweep his enemies away!
Why is Batman a good detective?
He always bat-comes to the scene of the crime!
Why doesn’t Batman play cards with the Joker?
Because he cheats!
How does Batman like his eggs?
Scrambled, just like his enemies’ plans!
Why did Batman get a cat?
Because he wanted a cat-bat-ular friend!
What did Batman say to his Batcomputer? “You’re the apple of my bat-eye!”
Why did Batman go to the doctor?
He had bat-fluenza!
Why is Batman always calm?
He never bats an eyelid!
What does Batman put in his beverages?
Just ice.
Why does Batman always drive fast?
He never likes to Bat-ard!
What do you call Batman when he stops the villains?
A bat out of hell!
Why does Batman always clean his Batmobile?
It’s his pride and bat-joy!
Why is Batman the best at hide and seek?
Because he always blends in the bat-ground!
What does Batman call his basement?
The Bat-cellar!
Why did Batman join the band?
Because he’s got the bat-beats!
Why is Batman never late?
Because he’s always bat-on-time!
Why did Batman go to space?
To see the bat-moon!
Why does Batman never get sick?
He has an immune bat-system!
What’s Batman’s favorite drink?
Fruit punch, there’s no hit-back!
Why is Batman great at saving money?
He never wastes a single bat-cent!
What do you call Batman when he leaves the church early?
Christian Bale!
Why did Batman go to art school?
He had a talent for bat-sketching!
How does Batman take his steak?
Bat-rare!
Why did Batman study law?
To learn all about bat-igation!
Why is Batman always at the front of the line?
Because he never bats behind!
What do you call Batman when he cooks?
The Dark Knight Rises… to the occasion!
What’s Batman’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Bat-nilla!
Why did Batman turn off his internet?
He was tired of web slingers!
How does Batman organize his suits?
By bat-color coordination!
Why doesn’t Batman get shocked by electricity?
Because he’s a current bat-resistor!
Why does Batman always win at chess?
Because he always thinks bat-ahead!
How does Batman like his toast?
Bat-tered!
What’s Batman’s favorite city apart from Gotham?
Bat-lanta!
Why did Batman become a librarian?
He likes Bat-books!
Why is Batman always prepared?
He’s got bat-ackups for his backups!
How does Batman always stay one step ahead?
He’s got bat-intuition!
Why did Batman bring a fan to the fight?
He wanted to blow them away!
What did Batman call his boat?
The Bat-oat!
Why did Batman start baking?
He’s bat at kneading dough!
How does Batman signal his friends?
With a Bat-signal!
Why did Batman become a vegetarian?
He’s bat-n against animal cruelty!
Why is Batman always the life of the party?
He’s got bat-titude!
How does Batman like his tea?
Bat-brewed!
Why does Batman always use his Batmobile?
It’s his bat-ride!
How does Batman relax after a long day?
A bat-bath!
Why does Batman never get lost?
He always bats his way!
What’s Batman’s favorite time of day?
The twilight, right before the dark knight!
Why does Batman never use elevators?
He’s always bat-scaling walls!
Why did Batman start dancing?
He learned the bat-allet!
Why did Batman take up photography?
He liked the flash!
What’s Batman’s favorite meal?
Justice, served cold!
Why did Batman get a job at the bakery?
He kneaded the dough!
How does Batman catch a fish?
With his bat-net!
Why does Batman always tell the truth?
He hates jokers!
How does Batman like his pasta?
Alfred-o style!
What’s Batman’s favorite bird?
The bat-eagle!
What’s Batman’s favorite part of a tree?
The bat-rk!
Why did Batman buy a new house?
He needed more bat-rooms!
What’s Batman’s favorite sandwich?
A bat-urkey club!
Why did Batman join the circus?
He’s good at acro-bat-ics!
How does Batman respond to a compliment? “Bat’s very kind of you!”
Why does Batman never play soccer?
He can’t stand jokers!
Why does Batman always brush his teeth?
To prevent bat-cavities!
Why is Batman good at boxing?
He always bat-ters his enemies!
Why does Batman always look so cool?
He’s bat to the bone!
Why does Batman only use his credit card at night?
It’s a dark knight card!
What did Batman say to his laptop?
You have the power of the bat-tery!
Why does Batman keep his identity secret?
It’s his bat-usiness!
What do you call Batman when he skips breakfast?
The Fast Knight!
Why did Batman go to the fruit market?
He heard there were some bad apples!
How does Batman stay safe while driving?
He always bat-uckles up!
Why did Batman invest in the stock market?
He wanted to grow his bat-kroll!
How does Batman feel when he loses a fight?
Bat-tered!
Why did Batman open a bakery?
He’s a pro at bat-ter!
Why does Batman love camping?
He loves bat to nature!
Why does Batman always win at racing?
He always bat-celerates!
Why does Batman always get his way?
He never bats an eye!
What do you call a Batman who has just eaten?
Full-filled Knight!
Why does Batman like reading?
He enjoys a good bat-story!
Why is Batman always dressed in black?
He doesn’t like to bat around the bush!
How does Batman fix his Batmobile?
With bat-ools!
Why is Batman never in a band?
He doesn’t want to play second bat-on!
What do you call Batman when he’s cooking?
The Dark Fryer!
What do you call Batman when he doesn’t shave?
Scruffy Knight!
How does Batman ask for a day off? “Can I have a bat-break?”
Why did Batman win the lottery?
He always bats on the right numbers!
Why does Batman have a Batmobile and not a Batbike?
He can’t stand two-timers!
Why does Batman never get arrested?
He always stays within bat-laws!
Why did Batman go to the baseball game?
He wanted to bat a thousand!
What do you call Batman when he is building something?
The Dark Carpenter!
Why did Batman start playing golf?
He loves the swing of things!
Why did Batman go to the beach?
He loves the sand bat-tling his toes!
What does Batman put on his Bat-burger?
Just-ice-berg lettuce!
Why did Batman go to the mechanic?
He had a bat-tery issue!
What do you call a Batman that’s been frozen?
A Bat-sicle!
Why did Batman go to a therapist?
He had bat-issues!
Why did Batman stop playing chess?
He was tired of the knight moves!
Why did Batman visit the winery?
He wanted to try the bat-ernet!
Why does Batman always work alone?
He can’t stand robin his time!
Why did Batman become an author?
He loves writing bat-stories!
How does Batman like his steak?
Bat and juicy!
Why did Batman bring his Batmobile to school?
He had show and bat-tell!
Why is Batman always on time for dinner?
He doesn’t want to miss Alfred-o pasta!
Why did Batman start baking?
He’s the hero the kitchen deserves, but not the one it needs right now!
What do you call Batman when he ignores his Batmobile’s fuel warnings?
The Dark Ignite!
Why did Batman become a singer?
He has the bat-note!
Why did Batman turn off his Batmobile’s GPS?
He prefers the scenic bat-route!
What do you call a tired Batman?
The Yawn Knight!