150 utah jokes

  1. Why don’t they play hide and seek in Utah? Because good luck hiding when you’re above sea level!
  2. How do you know if you’re in Utah? If the elevation is higher than your internet speed, you’re probably in Utah.
  3. What’s the official song of Utah? “I Can’t Get No (Cellular) Reception.”
  4. What do you call a good day in Salt Lake City? A Salt Lake sizzle!
  5. Why did the bee move to Utah? Because he wanted to join the Beehive State.
  6. Why did the football team go to the bakery in Utah? Because they needed a good “roll” model!
  7. What’s a vampire’s favorite town in Utah? Blood Elder.
  8. Why did the tomato turn red in Utah? Because it saw the salad dressing, and Utahns love their salad!
  9. Why don’t Utahns play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  10. What’s the state drink of Utah? Root beer, of course.
  11. Why don’t they drink coffee in Utah? Because in Utah, they prefer their grinds on the ski slopes, not in their cups.
  12. Why do Utahns always carry a map? Because you never know when you’ll come across a new mountain to climb!
  13. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to Utah? In case he got a hole in one on one of the many golf courses.
  14. Why did the bison go to Utah? To see if it could buffalo the locals.
  15. Why did the bread move to Utah? To loaf around the Great Salt Lake.
  16. How does a Utahn get ready for a snowball fight? They stockpile ammunition all winter.
  17. What’s a Utahn’s favorite type of math? Sum-mit mathematics.
  18. How do you impress a girl in Utah? Tell her you have a ski-in, ski-out condo.
  19. Why was the skeleton afraid to go to Utah? Because they had no body to go with.
  20. Why did the bicycle fall over in Utah? It was two-tired from all the mountain biking.
  21. What do you call a seagull that flies over the Great Salt Lake? A Bagel.
  22. What do you call a sunburnt Utahn? A Salt Laker.
  23. Why do birds fly south from Utah for the winter? It’s too far to walk.
  24. How do you know when a Utahn is really into you? They stop talking about skiing for two minutes.
  25. What do you call a cat skiing on Utah’s slopes? A meow-ntaineer.
  26. Why do Utahns put their clocks in the window? Because they want to see time fly.
  27. Why did the Scarecrow win an award in Utah? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  28. Why was the Utahn happy after putting together a puzzle in 6 months? The box said 2-4 years.
  29. What’s the best way to carve wood in Utah? Whittle by whittle.
  30. What do you call a Utahn who always takes the stairs? An elevater.
  31. What do you call a Utahn who only uses public transportation? A UTA-n.
  32. How does Utah welcome the day? By saying, “Mornin’, mountains!”
  33. Why do Utahn cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work.
  34. Why don’t bears in Utah use computers? They’re afraid of the Windows.
  35. Why was the Utah snowman looking through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
  36. What do Utahns call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
  37. Why do Utahns always go to work early? Because you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.
  38. Why was the Utahn a great musician? Because he always hit the right notes, even on the rocky mountains.
  39. Why did the Utahn become a gardener? He wanted to grow with the flow.
  40. What do Utahns do when they see a spaceman? They park, man.
  41. What’s the best time to visit Utah? Winter, spring, summer, or fall, because Utah has it all!
  42. What do you call a Utahn that never gives up? A mountaineer.
  43. Why do Utahns make terrible secret agents? They always peak too soon.
  44. Why did the tomato turn red in Utah? Because it saw the salad dressing at the Mormon potluck.
  45. Why don’t Utahns trust atoms? Because they make up everything, unlike Utah’s natural beauty.
  46. Why do Utahns love their state? Because it rocks!
  47. What do you call a Utahn in a three-piece suit? The defendant.
  48. What do you call a sarcastic criminal going downhill in Utah? A sly ski-ding felon.
  49. What do you call a Utahn who can play the piano? A key-slinger.
  50. Why do Utahn cats always get their way? They are purr-suasive.
  51. How does the Utahn snowman get around? By riding an ‘ice’-icle.
  52. What do you call a Utahn who can’t ski? A snow-go.
  53. Why are Utah rivers so rich? They have two banks.
  54. What did Utah say when it met Hawaii for the first time? Aloha-ha!
  55. Why do trees in Utah never get lost? Because their bark always leads the way.
  56. Why do Utahns love camping? Because they can’t resist the ‘s’more’ mountains!
  57. How does a Utahn keep their pants up? With a Rocky Mountain belt.
  58. Why are the fish in Utah so smart? Because they stay in schools.
  59. What does a Utahn ghost say? “BOO-tah!”
  60. Why do Utahns carry a stick? Just in case they come across a drum set.
  61. What’s a Utahn’s favorite type of tree? Geome-Tree!
  62. Why did the cookie cry in Utah? Because its mom was a wafer too long!
  63. How do you know if a Utahn is a baker? Their favorite park is Bread Canyon.
  64. Why do Utahns make great DJs? They always know how to rock the house.
  65. Why did the man stare at the can of orange juice in Utah? It said concentrate.
  66. Why do Utahns love to eat at buffets? They can’t resist piling up their plates like the Wasatch range.
  67. How does a Utahn scare a snowman? With a hairdryer.
  68. Why do Utahns make the best coaches? Because they know the drill.
  69. Why did the scarecrow move to Utah? He heard there were lots of fields.
  70. Why are Utahns so healthy? Because they peak on a daily basis.
  71. How do you know a Utahn invented the toothbrush? Because anyone else would have named it a teethbrush.
  72. Why do birds not use Facebook in Utah? Because they already tweet in nature.
  73. Why do Utahns love playing chess? Because the king can never get too far from his castle.
  74. Why are Utahn dogs so quiet? They don’t wantto ‘peak’ too soon.
  75. Why did the comedian refuse to perform in Utah? He didn’t want to crack a Salt Lake City.
  76. Why was the math book sad in Utah? Because it had too many problems.
  77. Why do trees make the best Utah citizens? They’re always leafing through books!
  78. What does a Utahn call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
  79. Why don’t skeletons fight in Utah? They don’t have the guts.
  80. Why did the pencil go to Utah? To draw attention to the mountain peaks.
  81. How do Utahns stay in shape? They keep climbing up the corporate ladder!
  82. Why do Utah birds never get lost? They always fly over the peaks.
  83. Why did the grape stop in the middle of Utah? It ran out of juice.
  84. Why do Utahns love baseball? They can’t resist a good home run, much like a run home to Utah!
  85. Why do Utahns make excellent detectives? They always peak at the right time.
  86. How do Utahns cut their pizza? With little Caesars!
  87. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician in Utah? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  88. What does a Utahn do when his chair breaks? Call a chairman.
  89. Why do Utahns always carry a map? Because they don’t want to take peak too soon.
  90. Why are Utah dogs great musicians? Because they have perfect pitch!
  91. Why do Utahns love astronomy? They always reach for the stars, like their mountains reach for the sky.
  92. How do you know you’ve met a Utahn poker player? They always raise the stakes, like the mountains raise the skyline.
  93. Why did the donut visit Utah? It wanted a taste of Sugar House.
  94. How do Utahns learn to handle the cold? They chill out.
  95. What’s a Utahn’s favorite exercise? Dumb-bell ringing.
  96. How do Utahns stay so grounded? With a steady diet of minerals.
  97. Why don’t Utahns trust the stairs? Because they’re always up to something.
  98. Why was the Utah laptop cold? It left its Windows open.
  99. Why did the Utahn go to the party? To raise the roof, like the Rockies!
  100. What do Utahns say during a snowstorm? “Snow problem at all.”
  101. Why did the Utahn bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
  102. Why don’t Utahns get lost in the mountains? They always peak ahead.
  103. How does a Utahn organize a party? They planet.
  104. Why did the fish live in Salt Lake? He was a Salt-water fish!
  105. How do you know if a snowman is from Utah? He has a ski pole in each hand.
  106. What’s a Utahn’s favorite type of pasta? Mounta-rigatoni.
  107. How did the Utahn describe their camping trip? It was in-tents!
  108. Why did the Utahn take his baseball bat to school? He heard about pop quizzes.
  109. Why do Utahns enjoy hot air ballooning? They’re always looking to get high, just like the mountains.
  110. How do you recognize a spider from Utah? It only spins World Wide Webs.
  111. Why do Utahns love playing the stock market? They’re always looking to reach a new peak.
  112. What’s a Utahn’s favorite type of movie? Rockumentaries.
  113. Why did the Utahn bring a ladder to school? To go to high school.
  114. Why do Utahns make terrible magicians? They always peak behind the curtain.
  115. Why did the Utahn bring their radio into the shower? They wanted to tune into the waterworks.
  116. Why do Utahns love being early? Because they can’t wait to rise and shine.
  117. How do you know you’re at a Utah wedding? Even the cake is in tiers.
  118. What’s a Utahn’s favorite type of vegetable? The Rocky Mountain pea.
  119. Why are Utahn frogs so happy? They eat what bugs them!
  120. Why don’t basketball players go to Utah for vacation? They can’t stand the high courts!
  121. How do Utah birds stay safe? They stay in their nests, it’s tweet-er.
  122. Why do Utahns make great archeologists? They dig deep just like they climb high.
  123. What does a Utahn cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
  124. How does a Utahn football player stay cool? He stands near the fans.
  125. Why do Utahns make terrible poker players? They can’t bluff their way out of a paper bag, but they can climb their way out of a canyon.
  126. Why did the Utahn bicycle stand on its own? It was two-tired.
  127. Why don’t you see elephants hiding in Utah’s trees? They’re really good at it.
  128. Why do Utahns always bring pencils to the cookout? In case they have to draw their steaks!
  129. How does a Utahn count cows? With a cowculator.
  130. Why do Utahns never play hide and seek with mountains? Because the mountains always peak.
  131. Why do Utahns make excellent bakers? Because they’re always on a roll.
  132. How do you know if you’ve met a Utahn cat? It won’t stop meowntaineering.
  133. Why don’t Utahns tell secrets on the farm? The potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
  134. How do Utahns cut through the fog? They mist it.
  135. Why do Utahns hate feeling down? They’re used to being high!
  136. Why don’t Utahns ever get caught in the rain? They always have a peak at the weather forecast.
  137. How do you know you’re talking to a Utahn snowman? He has a flakey personality.
  138. Why do Utahns make great authors? They always reach new heights in their storytelling.
  139. Why did the book move to Utah? It wanted to reach a higher shelf.
  140. What’s a Utahn’s favorite type of clothing? A mountainee-ring.
  141. Why do Utahns love hiking so much? They can’t resist the trail mix.
  142. What’s a Utahn’s favorite type of exercise? High-knees.
  143. Why don’t you see penguins in Utah? They’re afraid of breaking the ice.
  144. Why did the pepper turn red in Utah? Because it saw the Salt Lake!
  145. Why are Utahns always dressed up? They believe in high fashion.
  146. Why do Utahns hate knock-knock jokes? Because they always peak through the peephole.
  147. How does a Utahn steer their canoe? Using oarsome strength.
  148. Why did the Utahn become an astronaut? They wanted to experience the Rocky Mountain high.
  149. What’s a Utahn’s favorite part of a joke? The punch line, it gives them a peak of happiness.
  150. Why do Utahns always finish their hikes? They believe in leaving no stone unturned.

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