75 Speeding Jokes

Speeding is a common traffic violation that often leads to fines, traffic school, and even accidents. But sometimes, it’s hard to resist making light of the situation and finding humor in the idea of inanimate objects or animals breaking the speed limit.

In the world of jokes, we have a wide array of puns and punchlines that turn speeding into a humorous concept. From race car drivers evading the police to tortoises getting speeding tickets, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. So, let’s rev up our engines and take a humorous journey through the world of speeding jokes!

Top 75 Speeding Jokes:

1. Why don’t race car drivers ever get a ticket? Because the police can never catch up!
2. What did the traffic cop say to his belly? “You’re under a-vest!”
3. Why did the tortoise get a speeding ticket? Because it had a hare-raising experience!
4. Why don’t speedsters get invited to games? They always rush the play!
5. Why did the traffic light turn red when the car sped past? It saw the car undressing its speed!
6. What do you call a dinosaur that speeds? A velociraptor!
7. Why don’t cars speed at a circus? Too many clowns to dodge!
8. Why did the car apply for a job? It wanted to quit speeding and start earning!
9. What do you call a cat that got a speeding ticket? A fast-erpuss!
10. Why did the tomato turn red when it saw the speeding car? It couldn’t ketchup!
11. Why did the scarecrow become a traffic cop? To stop crows from flying over the speed limit!
12. Why did the bicycle get a speeding ticket? It couldn’t handle the cycle-path!
13. What do you call a running egg? Fast food!
14. Why did the ghost get a speeding ticket? Because it was a ghoul leadfoot!
15. Why did the speeder stop for a school bus? He thought it was a stop sign!
16. Why did the hot dog turn into a speeder? Because it was on a roll!
17. What do you call a snowman with a speeding ticket? Frosty the road man!
18. Why did the racehorse get a speeding ticket? Because it was horsing around!
19. What did the snail say riding on the tortoise’s back? “Woo hoo, slow down, speed demon!”
20. Why did the gardener get a speeding ticket? He took a leaf of absence!
21. Why did the car get a ticket at the concert? It couldn’t stop rushing the stage!
22. Why don’t librarians get speeding tickets? They always check out before going too fast!
23. Why did the sun get a speeding ticket? It was daylight robbin’!
24. Why did the moon get a speeding ticket? It was trying to eclipse the sun!
25. What do you call a bear that speeds? A hurry-bear!
26. Why did the chicken get a speeding ticket? Because it crossed the road too fast!
27. Why did the fish get a speeding ticket? Because it was a speed herring!
28. Why did the cucumber get a speeding ticket? It was in a pickle!
29. What do you call a zebra that speeds? A fast line!
30. Why did the rabbit get a speeding ticket? Because it was hopping mad!
31. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the party? It was burning rubber!
32. What do you call a speeding dog? A hot dog!
33. Why did the lion get a speeding ticket? It was going too roar!
34. What do you call a speeding cow? Fast food!
35. Why did the vampire get a speeding ticket? It was in a rush to get to the next neck!
36. Why did the car get a ticket in the desert? It was dune buggy speeding!
37. Why did the coffee get a speeding ticket? It was espresso-ing itself too fast!
38. Why did the car get a speeding ticket in the library? It was revving too loud!
39. What do you call a bird that speeds? A swift!
40. Why did the baker get a speeding ticket? He was on a roll!
41. Why did the kangaroo get a speeding ticket? It was hopping too fast!
42. What do you call a speeding tree? A running bark!
43. Why did the car get a speeding ticket on the farm? It was driving udderly fast!
44. Why did the car get a ticket at the opera? It couldn’t stop over-turing!
45. What do you call a frog that speeds? A hop-rod!
46. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the beach? It was going coastal!
47. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the graveyard? It was ghosting too fast!
48. What do you call a speeding tortoise? A shell-shocker!
49. Why did the golfer get a speeding ticket? He was driving too far!
50. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the zoo? It was racing to see the cheetah!
51. What do you call a mouse that speeds? A squeakster!
52. Why did the spaceship get a speeding ticket? It was rocketing too fast!
53. Why did the train get a speeding ticket? It was off the rails!
54. What do you call a speeding elephant? A jumbo jet!
55. Why did the witch get a speeding ticket? She was flying off the broom handle!
56. Why did the car get a speeding ticket in the forest? It was driving un-bearably fast!
57. What do you call a speeding snail? A slickster!
58. Why did the boat get a speeding ticket? It was making waves!
59. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the bakery? It was doughnutting too fast!
60. What do you call a speeding kangaroo? A jump jet!
61. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the circus? It was clowning around!
62. What do you call a speeding shark? A swift swimmer!
63. Why did the taxi get a speeding ticket? It was fare-ly fast!
64. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the comedy show? It was driving everyone to laughter!
65. What do you call a speeding ant? A speed-bug!
66. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the restaurant? It was serving up speed!
67. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the soccer game? It was goal-ing too fast!
68. What do you call a speeding chicken? A quick cluck!
69. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the museum? It was speeding past art!
70. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the castle? It was going too knight!
71. What do you call a speeding pig? A ham jet!
72. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the supermarket? It was carting too fast!
73. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the park? It was cruising for a bruising!
74. What do you call a speeding horse? A galloper!
75. Why did the car get a speeding ticket at the pond? It was ducking too fast!

Conclusion

Speeding jokes bring a lighthearted and comical perspective to a serious issue. While we all know that speeding is unsafe and should be avoided on the road, these jokes remind us that humor can be found in unexpected places. From racing animals to fast food and supernatural speedsters, the creativity behind these jokes is boundless.

So, the next time you find yourself tempted to put the pedal to the metal, remember these jokes and opt for a safer and more responsible approach to your journey. In the end, laughter is the best way to slow down and enjoy the ride!