150 restaurant dad jokes

  1. Why don’t we ever tell secrets at a restaurant? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the beans stalk.
  2. Why do chefs always carry a broom? To sweep the kitchen off its feet!
  3. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours at a restaurant? Nacho cheese!
  4. Why did the tomato turn red at the restaurant? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  5. Why do we not play hide and seek with vegetables? Because the peas always give it away.
  6. Why did the sushi break up with the wasabi? There was just too much raw emotion.
  7. Why don’t chefs play baseball? In case they get caught stealing bases.
  8. What did the gingerbread man use to fix his house? Icing and gumdrops, of course!
  9. Why did the baker go to therapy? He kneaded it.
  10. What do you call a fake noodle at a restaurant? An impasta!
  11. Why did the chef go to jail? Because he beat the eggs.
  12. Why was the cucumber mad? Because it was in a pickle!
  13. What’s an egg’s least favorite day of the week? Fry-day!
  14. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
  15. Why did the lettuce turn red? Because it saw the ranch dressing.
  16. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because it couldn’t find a date!
  17. What do you call a fast mushroom? A quick-oumami.
  18. Why was the bread dough unhappy? It felt kneaded.
  19. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, just like a good farmer’s market.
  20. How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down a hill.
  21. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
  22. What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-berries.
  23. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
  24. Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels!
  25. What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeño business.
  26. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because he ran out of juice.
  27. Why did the cook get arrested? Because he got caught beating an egg.
  28. What does bread do on vacation? Loaf around.
  29. Why don’t they serve chocolate in prison? Because it makes you break out.
  30. What did one plate say to the other? Dinner’s on me!
  31. What did the mayonnaise say when someone opened the refrigerator door? Close the door, I’m dressing!
  32. Why was the potato acting weird? It just wasn’t peeling well.
  33. What do you call a dessert that writes music? A compie-poser.
  34. Why was the cucumber blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  35. What’s the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth!
  36. Why did the bread go to the bakery? Because it felt crummy.
  37. What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!
  38. How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
  39. Why was the chef so mean? She beats the eggs and whips the cream.
  40. Why did the cheese go broke? Because it kept on doubling down on gouda.
  41. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
  42. What did the hamburger name its baby? Patty!
  43. How do you make a sausage roll? Push it down a hill.
  44. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They could crack up.
  45. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he’s a fungi!
  46. What does a cheese say when it looks in the mirror? Halloumi.
  47. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka!
  48. What do you call a sad coffee? Despresso.
  49. Why do we never quarrel with the pizza chef? Because he has a lot of dough.
  50. Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken.
  51. What do you call an angry pea? Grum-pea.
  52. Why did the chili win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field.
  53. How do you get a Pikachu onto a bus? You Poke-em-on.
  54. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing? Because they put on the salsa!
  55. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.
  56. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
  57. What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
  58. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
  59. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  60. What do you call a snobbish criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending.
  61. What is a waiter’s favorite tennis play? The serve!
  62. What’s a pancake’s job in a baseball game? The batter.
  63. Why was the belt arrested at the steakhouse? For holding up a pair of pants!
  64. What’s a hamburger’s favorite story? A meaty tale of bun, lettuce and tomato!
  65. Why did the ketchup turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  66. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  67. Why did the belt get locked up? It was holding up a pair of pants.
  68. Why did the doughnut go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
  69. Why did the coffee go to the police? It got mugged.
  70. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
  71. Why didn’t the shrimp share his food? Because he was a little shellfish.
  72. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  73. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  74. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
  75. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear.
  76. Why was the soup at the fancy restaurant so bad? It had no taste.
  77. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
  78. Why did the customer give the restaurant one star? Because there was too much salt in the salt shaker.
  79. Why did the server bring a ladder to the bar? Because the customer asked for a tall drink.
  80. Why did the pizza maker go broke? Because he just couldn’t make enough dough.
  81. What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra.
  82. Why did the cheese lose a fight with a stone? Because the roquefort.
  83. How does a hamburger introduce his wife? Meat Patty.
  84. Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.
  85. What do you call an avocado that’s been blessed? Holy Guacamole.
  86. Why don’t chefs find oven jokes funny? They’re too heated.
  87. Why was the restaurant on the moon not successful? It had no atmosphere!
  88. Why couldn’t the butter answer the question? It was on a roll.
  89. What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You’re in a real pickle this time!
  90. Why did the lemon go to the party? Because it was a sour puss.
  91. How do you know if a chef is rich? If he’s rolling in the dough.
  92. Why do the French like to eat snails? Because they can’t stand fast food.
  93. What do you call a fake pizza? A pepperphony!
  94. Why did the pie go to a dentist? Because it needed a filling.
  95. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  96. What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop hogging the spotlight.
  97. What do you call a burger who can play the piano? A rare medium well-done.
  98. Why did the bacon laugh? Because the egg cracked a yolk.
  99. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
  100. What do you call a sketchy Italian neighborhood? The Spaghetto.
  101. What did the bread say to the butter? You’re on a roll.
  102. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby.
  103. Why did the tofu refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? Because he was afraid of cheetahs.
  104. Why don’t bakers play hide and seek? They always leave a breadcrumb trail.
  105. Why was the pizza blushing? It saw the salad dressing.
  106. Why did the waffle never show up to the tennis match? It was afraid of getting served.
  107. Why did the butcher become a gardener? He wanted to plant some chops!
  108. Why did the vegetable go to the party? Because it was a turnip.
  109. Why didn’t the onion start the race? It couldn’t stop crying.
  110. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
  111. What do you call a condiment with a hit single? A rap-scallion.
  112. Why was the sugar on a diet? It had too many sweet rolls.
  113. Why did the bread break up with the margarine? It wanted to see other spreads.
  114. Why did the chef become a DJ? He always liked to stir things up.
  115. Why did the restaurant hire a pig? To bring home the bacon.
  116. What does the gingerbread man use to fix his house? Icing and gumdrops!
  117. Why did the dish break up with the spoon? It felt spooned.
  118. What do you call a sketchy neighborhood in Italy? The spaghetto.
  119. Why don’t chefs like tennis? The servers are too fast.
  120. What did the knife say to the spoon? You’re looking sharp.
  121. Why was the coffee filter upset? It was fed up with its daily grind.
  122. Why did the celery get a promotion? It was always ahead.
  123. Why did the baker go to therapy? He had too many rolls.
  124. Why don’t restaurants serve clocks? It’s too time consuming.
  125. What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You’re in a real dill.
  126. Why did the cheese go to the party? To have some fun-gi.
  127. Why did the restaurant owner hire a fish? Because he could scale the fish.
  128. Why was the biscuit upset? It was feeling crummy.
  129. What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
  130. Why did the pepperoni go to school? To become a pizza pro.
  131. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
  132. Why did the tomato go to school? To ketchup.
  133. What do you call cheese that can play music? Brie-oncé.
  134. Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels.
  135. Why did the salad go to the studio? To get some fresh beets.
  136. Why did the cucumber blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  137. What do you call a retired vegetable? A has-bean.
  138. What did the egg say to the frying pan? You crack me up.
  139. Why was the vegetable always relaxed? It was a cool cucumber.
  140. Why do the French eat snails? Because they don’t like fast food.
  141. What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs.
  142. Why was the pancake a good baseball player? He always hit the batter.
  143. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
  144. Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.
  145. Why did the lemon fail its driving test? It couldn’t peel out.
  146. Why do bakers work so hard? They knead the dough.
  147. Why did the belt go to jail? It was holding up a pair of pants.
  148. Why was the kitchen counter feeling down? It was taken for granite.
  149. Why was the vegetable tired? It had been beet.
  150. Why did the tomato go red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *