141 half jokes
- Why did the fraction go to the doctor? It was only feeling half itself!
- What did the half-charged battery say to the other? “You complete me.”
- Why did the half-eaten sandwich cross the road? To catch up with the other half!
- Why was the half-baked plan under arrest? Because it was only partially legal.
- What did the fraction say to the decimal? You’re only half the story.
- What did the half-time say to the football game? “You’re halfway to glory.”
- Why was the half-eaten cake depressed? It felt incomplete.
- Why did the half-filled glass of water join the debate club? To argue it was half-full!
- Why did the half dollar go to the bank? It wanted to feel like a whole buck.
- Why was the half-sleeping cat always confused? It never knew whether to wake up or keep sleeping.
- Why was half of the moon late to the party? It got caught in the twilight zone.
- Why don’t half-filled balloons make good detectives? They can’t rise to the occasion.
- What do you call a half-built Lego tower? A story in the making.
- Why did the half-cooked steak apply for a job? It wanted to be well-done.
- Why was the half-empty notebook so optimistic? It still had plenty of room for ideas.
- What do you call a half-eaten donut at the police station? An undercover cop.
- Why did half the pie run away from home? It wanted to become a whole.
- Why did the half-full jug of milk start crying? It was missing the cream of the crop.
- Why don’t half-painted walls win beauty contests? They can’t make a full impression.
- Why did the half-completed puzzle go to school? It was missing a few pieces.
- Why was the half-finished book excited? It was eager to know how the story ends.
- What do you call a half-drunk cup of coffee at a meeting? An espresso break.
- Why did the half-full can of soda sing a sad song? It felt a bit flat.
- What do you call half a loaf of bread? A knead to rise.
- Why was the half-filled petrol tank feeling down? It felt like it couldn’t go the full distance.
- Why did the half-eaten apple join a gym? It was trying to get to the core of fitness.
- Why was the half-burned candle optimistic? It knew it still had a bright future.
- Why was the half-empty glass of juice at the art gallery? It was a still life model.
- What did the half-nibbled cookie say to the milk? “Soak me up, before I crumble!”
- Why did the half-cleared level of the video game ask for help? It couldn’t beat the boss.
- What do you call a half-baked cake in the oven? A rising star.
- Why did the half-torn paper go to therapy? It was feeling torn apart.
- Why did the half-eaten cheeseburger go to the amusement park? It wanted a full ride.
- Why was the half-wrapped present so excited? It was waiting to be fully uncovered.
- Why did the half-full tube of toothpaste feel down? It was getting squeezed from both ends.
- Why did the half-pulled prank go wrong? It lacked full commitment.
- What do you call a half-eaten piece of candy? A sweet surrender.
- Why was the half-eaten pizza slice at the fashion show? It was a slice of life.
- What did the half-full bottle of ketchup say to the fries? “You’ve got me over a barrel.”
- Why was the half-planted seed so happy? It was ready to grow.
- Why did the half-filled swimming pool feel lonely? It was tired of shallow relationships.
- Why did the half-swept floor start crying? It wanted to be spotless.
- Why did the half-burned log join a support group? It was feeling burnt out.
- Why did the half-washed car go to the spa? It needed a full body treatment.
- Why did the half-read newspaper go to the library? It wanted to be in the know.
- Why was the half-cut onion crying? It had been through a slice of life.
- Why did the half-eaten carrot join the circus? It wanted to be part of a full show.
- Why did the half-sunk ship refuse to sink further? It didn’t want to go down without a fight.
- What did the half-squeezed orange say to the juicer? “Take it easy, I’m feeling a little squeezed.”
- Why did the half-watched movie go to film school? It wanted to learn how to end.
- Why did the half-baked bread go to college? It wanted to rise to the occasion.
- Why did the half-told joke feel awkward? It couldn’t punch the line.
- What do you call a half-empty bottle of wine? An opportunity to fill up.
- Why was the half-grown plant feeling motivated? It knew it had room to grow.
- Why did the half-opened oyster join a band? It had the pearls of wisdom.
- Why did the half-used stick of butter go to the park? It wanted to spread out.
- Why did the half-eaten pizza move to Italy? It wanted to find its other half.
- Why did the half-drunk glass of beer go to therapy? It was feeling a bit tapped out.
- Why did the half-used eraser go to a motivational speaker? It wanted to make its mark.
- Why did the half-burned out bulb attend the concert? It wanted to lighten up.
- Why did the half-filled notebook go to a poetry reading? It was looking for lines.
- Why was the half-cooked pancake feeling flippy? It was not yet fully done.
- Why did the half-picked apple tree go to the farm? It wanted to branch out.
- Why did the half-eaten bag of chips go to the casino? It was feeling lucky.
- Why did the half-read book go to the library? It was searching for a conclusion.
- Why did the half-tied shoelace go to the park? It wanted to stay on track.
- Why was the half-filled pot of soup feeling warm? It was in hot water.
- Why did the half-filled water bottle go to the party? It wanted to make a splash.
- Why did the half-written song go to the concert? It was searching for its rhythm.
- Why did the half-emptied bucket go to the beach? It wanted to feel sand beneath its bottom.
- Why did the half-completed Sudoku puzzle go to math class? It was searching for solutions.
- Why did the half-baked cookie go to the bakery? It wanted to get in shape.
- Why was the half-empty bottle of perfume feeling fancy? It was still scent-sational.
- Why did the half-painted portrait go to art school? It wanted to face the truth.
- Why did the half-peeled banana go to the market? It wanted to a-peel to the masses.
- Why did the half-full coffee cup go to the comedy club? It was in need of a good roast.
- Why did the half-squeezed lemon go to the gym? It wanted to get zest in shape.
- Why did the half-burnt toast join a debate? It was tired of being grilled.
- Why did the half-used pen go to school? It wanted to make a point.
- Why did the half-drunk bottle of soda go to the party? It wanted to fizz things up.
- Why did the half-written poem go to a literature class? It was in search of a happy ending.
- Why did the half-empty box of chocolates go to the grocery store? It wanted to feel full of life.
- Why did the half-cooked spaghetti go to Italy? It wanted to feel a little saucy.
- Why did the half-completed crossword puzzle go to the newspaper? It wanted to cross paths with words.
- Why did the half-sliced loaf of bread go to the bakery? It wanted to be a cut above the rest.
- Why did the half-filled jar of jam go to the supermarket? It was feeling sweet and low.
- Why did the half-licked ice cream cone go to the parlor? It was seeking a swirl of fun.
- Why did the half-eaten chicken wing go to the gym? It wanted to feel a bit meatier.
- Why did the half-drawn comic strip go to the art gallery? It was sketching out its future.
- Why did the half-filled teapot go to the party? It was brewing up some excitement.
- Why did the half-emptied popcorn tub go to the cinema? It wanted to pop into action.
- Why did the half-eaten salad go to the farm? It was craving for more greens.
- Why did the half-burnt incense stick go to the meditation class? It wanted to find its inner peace.
- Why did the half-opened book go to a bookstore? It wanted to turn a new leaf.
- Why did the half-peeled potato go to the kitchen? It wanted to chip in.
- Why did the half-filled fishbowl go to the ocean? It wanted to make waves.
- Why did the half-used tube of paint go to the artist? It wanted to color its world.
- Why did the half-mowed lawn go to the gardener? It was feeling a bit grassy.
- Why did the half-emptied glass of milk go to the dairy farm? It was in a moo-d for more.
- Why did the half-filled bag of popcorn go to the cinema? It wanted to kernel up some fun.
- Why did the half-eaten muffin go to the bakery? It was hungry for some crumbs.
- Why did the half-plucked chicken join a comedy club? It wanted to crack some yolks.
- Why did the half-lit candle go to the matchbox? It wanted to feel the heat.
- Why did the half-eaten bagel go to New York? It wanted to feel hole again.
- Why did the half-spent gift card go to the mall? It was shopping for a spree.
- Why did the half-done jigsaw puzzle go to the toy store? It was piecing its life together.
- Why did the half-scooped ice cream tub go to the freezer? It was looking to chill.
- Why did the half-completed crossword puzzle go to the library? It wanted to cross its t’s and dot its i’s.
- Why did the half-sipped cup of tea go to the cafe? It was steeped in thought.
- Why did the half-eaten peanut butter jar go to the store? It was feeling spread thin.
- Why did the half-played game of chess go to the tournament? It was checking out its options.
- Why did the half-drunk cocktail go to the bar? It was mixed up.
- Why did the half-eaten scone go to England? It wanted to be a part of the high-tea.
- Why did the half-sharpened pencil go to school? It was on point.
- Why did the half-cleared level of the video game go to the arcade? It was looking for some extra lives.
- Why did the half-opened can of tuna go to the fish market? It was hooked on freshness.
- Why did the half-done homework go to the teacher? It was working for an A.
- Why did the half-filled pot of chili go to the food festival? It was spicing things up.
- Why did the half-written story go to the book club? It was looking for a plot twist.
- Why did the half-emptied candy jar go to the candy store? It was in for a treat.
- Why did the half-typed email go to the IT department? It was looking to connect.
- Why did the half-burnt firewood go to the bonfire? It was flaming for attention.
- Why did the half-sipped smoothie go to the health club? It was blending in.
- Why did the half-peeled orange go to Florida? It was in a zest for adventure.
- Why did the half-used lipstick go to the makeup artist? It was glossing over things.
- Why did the half-drunk bottle of champagne go to the party? It was feeling bubbly.
- Why did the half-written letter go to the post office? It was sealing its fate.
- Why did the half-eaten bowl of soup go to the cooking class? It was simmering with excitement.
- Why did the half-drunk cup of coffee go to the café? It was brewing with anticipation.
- Why did the half-used roll of duct tape go to the hardware store? It was looking to stick around.
- Why did the half-emptied bottle of detergent go to the laundry? It was washing its worries away.
- Why did the half-played deck of cards go to the casino? It was dealing with life.
- Why did the half-baked loaf of bread go to the bakery? It was craving a toast to life.
- Why did the half-filled bottle of beer go to the bar? It was looking for some hops.
- Why did the half-lit firework go to the party? It was ready to sparkle.
- Why did the half-eaten block of cheese go to the dairy farm? It was feeling a bit cheesy.
- Why did the half-used notepad go to the office? It was taking note of things.
- Why did the half-drank bottle of whiskey go to the distillery? It was on the rocks.
- Why did the half-used bar of soap go to the bathroom? It was cleaning up its act.
- Why did the half-drunk bottle of water go to the spring? It was well on its way.
- Why did the half-cut pizza go to the oven? It was feeling a bit crusty.