82 Tank Jokes

Tank jokes are a unique and lighthearted way to combine humor with heavy artillery, turning military machinery into the source of laughter. From their robust presence on the battlefield to their imposing features, tanks provide ample material for a range of humorous puns and one-liners.

In this collection of tank jokes, we’ll explore the comical side of these armored vehicles and discover how they can be the stars of the show in the world of humor.

Top 82 Tank Jokes:

1. Why don’t tanks ever go to the bank? Because they always lose their deposits!
2. What do you call a tank that tells jokes? A com-tank-dian!
3. What kind of tank never hides? A transparen-tank!
4. What’s a tank’s favorite music band? The Rolling Stones, because they can roll over anything!
5. Why do tanks make terrible secret agents? Because they can’t tread lightly!
6. What do tanks use to cook their food? A panzer.
7. Why was the tank a great musician? Because it had perfect pitch… and yaw!
8. Why did the tank break up with its girlfriend? It said she had too many attachments!
9. Why do tanks never play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re a tank!
10. What’s a tank’s favorite day of the week? Tanksgiving!
11. Why do tanks never get lost? Because they always follow their gut!
12. What do you call a tank that loves gardening? A plantzer!
13. What do you call a polite tank? A tank you very much!
14. How do tanks communicate? They use shell phones!
15. What do you call a tank that likes to dress up? A fancy tank!
16. Why do tanks make poor tennis players? Because they can’t make a good return service!
17. What’s a tank’s favorite drink? Heavy metal shake!
18. Why don’t tanks make good comedians? Because their punchlines always fall flat!
19. Why do tanks always win at chess? Because they always make the right move!
20. Why did the tank go to school? To improve its turret-orial skills!
21. Why don’t tanks play soccer? Because they always get a red card for tackling!
22. How does a tank propose? With a diamond ring mounted on a shell!
23. What do you call a tank that only shoots on weekends? A part-tank-er!
24. Why did the tank go to the party? Because it was a blast!
25. What do tanks eat for breakfast? Armor oats!
26. How do tanks greet each other? They say, “Nice to turret you!”
27. What’s a tank’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal!
28. Why don’t tanks play baseball? Because they always strike out!
29. What’s a tank’s favorite film genre? Action, because they love the explosive scenes!
30. What do you call a tank in a field of flowers? A tank-erbell!
31. What do tanks do when they’re bored? They go for a stroll through the park… or through the wall!
32. Why do tanks make terrible chefs? Because everything they cook ends up overcooked!
33. Why was the tank at the art gallery? It heard there was a good exhibition on the art of war!
34. Why was the tank arrested? It had outstanding shell support!
35. Why do tanks never play poker? Because they have a terrible poker face…you can always see their cannon!
36. Why don’t tanks go camping? Because they always crush the tent!
37. What’s a tank’s favorite type of math? Geometry, they love calculating angles!
38. Why did the tank go to the dance? Because it had the moves like Jagger…naut!
39. What do tanks like to read? Shell-akespeare!
40. Why don’t tanks get into politics? Because they can’t stand the mudslinging!
41. Why don’t tanks have many friends? Because they’re always pushing people around!
42. What’s a tank’s favorite animal? A rhino, because it’s also an armored charger!
43. Why did the tank go to therapy? Because it had shell shock!
44. What do you call a tank that tells tall tales? A tank-er of yarns!
45. How do tanks celebrate their birthdays? They have a blast!
46. Why don’t tanks go on diets? Because they always cheat with extra heavy cream!
47. What do you call a tank that’s good at drawing? An illustra-tank!
48. Why don’t tanks make good detectives? Because they always barrel through the evidence!
49. Why do tanks make good bouncers? Because they’re great at crowd control!
50. What’s a tank’s favorite exercise? The military press!
51. Why did the tank go to the bakery? Because it kneaded dough for its rolls!
52. How do tanks say goodbye? “Catch you on the flip side…of my turret!”
53. What’s a tank’s favorite dessert? Anything with lots of heavy whipping cream!
54. Why don’t tanks make good musicians? Because they always play too loud!
55. What’s a tank’s favorite type of dog? A bulldozer!
56. Why do tanks make terrible surgeons? Because their operations always turn into a battlefield!
57. Why don’t tanks make good librarians? Because they always bring down the house… and the library!
58. What’s a tank’s favorite type of tree? The Ironwood!
59. Why do tanks make bad fish? Because they’re always out of their depth!
60. Why do tanks make poor poets? Because their verse is always too heavy-handed!
61. Why don’t tanks make good basketball players? Because they always tank the game!
62. What’s a tank’s favorite vegetable? A squash, because it’s also good at crushing things!
63. Why did the tank go to the beach? To make sandcastles…with real castles!
64. What do you call a tank that’s also a magician? A trick tank!
65. Why do tanks make terrible waiters? Because they always drop the plates!
66. Why do tanks make terrible babysitters? Because they’re always losing track of things!
67. What do you call a tank that’s also a baker? A doughzer!
68. Why don’t tanks play golf? Because their approach is too heavy-handed!
69. What’s a tank’s favorite type of bird? The hummingbird, because it’s also a good flyer!
70. Why do tanks make terrible gardeners? Because they always crush the flowers!
71. What’s a tank’s favorite type of book? Anything with a hard cover!
72. Why do tanks make bad chefs? Because they always overheat the kitchen!
73. What do you call a tank in a beauty pageant? A beauty and the beast!
74. Why don’t tanks make good musicians? Because they always blow their own horn!
75. What’s a tank’s favorite type of joke? Anything with a big punchline!
76. Why do tanks make bad photographers? Because they always shake the camera!
77. What’s a tank’s favorite type of weather? Anything but a freeze!
78. Why do tanks make terrible dancers? Because they have two left feet!
79. What do you call a tank that’s also a singer? A rock star…because it rocks everything around it!
80. Why do tanks make bad therapists? Because they always barrel through people’s problems!
81. What’s a tank’s favorite type of flower? The steel magnolia!
82. Why do tanks make terrible doctors? Because their bedside manner is too abrasive!

Conclusion

In the world of comedy, tank jokes add a new dimension to the art of humor. By infusing these formidable machines with laughter and amusement, we can appreciate the lighter side of the things that are typically associated with strength, power, and seriousness. These tank jokes serve as a reminder that even the most imposing objects can become the subjects of laughter and fun, showcasing the versatility of humor to bring joy to the unlikeliest of places.

So, the next time you see a tank, remember that it might just be the perfect setup for a hilarious punchline, demonstrating the endless potential of humor to transcend boundaries and bring smiles to people’s faces.