149 tattoo jokes
- Why don’t secret agents get tattoos? Because they wouldn’t stay undercover for long!
- Why did the tattoo artist become a baker? Because he was so good at drawing rolls.
- What do you call a bird with a tattoo? A feathered canvas.
- Why did the tattoo artist go broke? Because he kept drawing on people without making a permanent mark.
- What did the tattoo say to the skin? I’ve got you covered!
- Why did the tattoo needle get in trouble? It kept poking people!
- Why did the sun never get a tattoo? Because it didn’t want to be a star!
- What did the one tattoo say to the other tattoo? “You look familiar, have we met ink before?”
- Why did the book get a tattoo? To make its cover more interesting.
- Why don’t golfers get tattoos? They have enough bad strokes.
- Why was the tattoo artist bad at poker? He always showed his hand.
- Why did the vegan get a plant tattoo? To show he was a ‘rooted’ individual.
- Why don’t spiders get tattoos? Because it would cramp their web design!
- What does a tattoo artist say on his day off? “No skin off my back.”
- Why did the tattoo artist refuse to ink a watch? He said he didn’t have time.
- Why don’t tattoos ever get lost? Because they always stick around.
- What do you call a bear with a tattoo? An illustrated grizzly.
- Why did the pencil get a tattoo? To leave a permanent mark.
- Why did the tattoo artist get a globe tattooed on himself? To show he’s worldly.
- Why don’t farmers get tattoos? Because they have enough marks on their cattle.
- What did the math teacher’s tattoo say? “Life is full of problems, but mine are all solved.”
- What’s a tattoo’s favorite game? Skin the bottle!
- What did the tattoo say to the laser removal? “Well, this is a fleeting moment.”
- Why did the grammar teacher get a tattoo? To make a permanent punctuation mark.
- Why don’t pirates get tattoos? They already have enough marks on their treasure map!
- Why did the tattoo artist break up with his girlfriend? She said he was too sketchy.
- Why don’t tennis players get tattoos? They don’t want to make a racket about it.
- Why don’t librarians get tattoos? They think it’s too loud!
- Why did the banker get a dollar sign tattoo? To show his interest.
- Why did the tattoo artist become a gardener? He loved planting roses on people’s arms.
- What did the mirror say to the tattoo? “I’ve seen your type before.”
- Why did the tattoo get a job? It wanted to make its mark in the world.
- Why don’t clockmakers get tattoos? They can’t find the time.
- Why did the zookeeper get an animal tattoo? He wanted to make his passion permanent.
- Why did the ghost not get a tattoo? It kept going through him.
- Why did the cat get a mouse tattoo? It was a permanent reminder of his favorite snack.
- Why did the ocean get a tattoo? To make a wave in the world.
- Why don’t computers get tattoos? They’re afraid of getting a virus.
- Why did the magician get a tattoo? To make his mark disappear.
- Why don’t basketball players get tattoos? They’re afraid of getting benched.
- Why don’t lawyers get tattoos? They’d have to disclose them as assets.
- Why don’t astronauts get tattoos? They don’t want to leave a mark on the universe.
- Why did the chef get a tattoo? He wanted a recipe that he couldn’t lose.
- Why did the lumberjack get a tree tattoo? To show his dedication to the forest.
- Why did the boxer get a tattoo? To show he could take a punch.
- Why did the lion get a tattoo of a sheep? He wanted to show his softer side.
- Why did the barber get a comb tattoo? He wanted to show off his cut above the rest.
- Why did the skeleton get a tattoo? He wanted to bone up on his appearance.
- Why don’t rocks get tattoos? They’re afraid of getting chipped.
- Why did the cactus get a tattoo? It wanted to be a sharp looker.
- Why don’t vampires get tattoos? They’re afraid of needles.
- Why did the gardener get a tattoo of a shovel? It was a groundbreaking decision.
- Why did the dog get a bone tattoo? He wanted a treat he couldn’t lose.
- Why did the scarecrow get a tattoo? To prove he wasn’t stuffed.
- Why did the DJ get a tattoo of a turntable? He wanted to show off his spinning skills.
- Why did the clock get a tattoo of numbers? It wanted to make time stand still.
- Why did the rabbit get a carrot tattoo? He wanted to show he was a fast food lover.
- Why did the man get a pizza tattoo? Because he always wanted a slice of the action.
- Why did the elephant get a tattoo of a peanut? It was a nutty idea.
- Why don’t actors get tattoos? They don’t want to steal the scene.
- Why did the joker get a card tattoo? He wanted to show he was wild.
- Why don’t politicians get tattoos? They have enough marks against them.
- Why did the cowboy get a tattoo of a horse? He wanted to show off his stable relationship.
- Why did the archeologist get a dinosaur tattoo? He wanted to show off his groundbreaking discovery.
- Why did the beer lover get a tattoo of a pint? He wanted to show he was a barrel of laughs.
- Why did the computer programmer get a binary code tattoo? It was his way of expressing a bit about himself.
- Why did the poet get a tattoo of a pen? He wanted to leave a permanent verse.
- Why did the witch get a tattoo of a broom? She wanted to show she was a clean sweep.
- Why did the drummer get a drumstick tattoo? He wanted to show he had the beat.
- Why did the fisherman get a fish tattoo? He wanted to show off his best catch.
- Why did the baker get a doughnut tattoo? It was a hole new look.
- Why did the singer get a music note tattoo? She wanted to hit a high note in style.
- Why did the coffee lover get a coffee mug tattoo? He wanted to expresso himself.
- Why did the car enthusiast get a car tattoo? He wanted to drive his passion home.
- Why did the alien get a spaceship tattoo? He wanted to show he was out of this world.
- Why did the mountain climber get a mountain tattoo? He wanted to reach new peaks in life.
- Why did the librarian get a book tattoo? She wanted to book her place in history.
- Why did the teacher get a tattoo of an apple? He wanted to show he was top of the class.
- Why did the photographer get a camera tattoo? He wanted to make every shot count.
- Why did the beekeeper get a bee tattoo? He wanted to create a buzz.
- Why did the train conductor get a train tattoo? He wanted to stay on track.
- Why did the plumber get a pipe tattoo? He wanted to show he could handle the pressure.
- Why did the dentist get a tooth tattoo? He wanted to show off his roots.
- Why did the chef get a knife and fork tattoo? He wanted to make a cutting-edge statement.
- Why did the paleontologist get a fossil tattoo? He wanted to dig into the past.
- Why did the firefighter get a fire tattoo? He wanted to show he was hot stuff.
- Why did the architect get a blueprint tattoo? He wanted to build a better image.
- Why did the mechanic get a wrench tattoo? He wanted to show he was a real gearhead.
- Why did the electrician get a light bulb tattoo? He wanted to show he was a bright spark.
- Why did the chemist get a periodic table tattoo? He wanted to show he had the elements of style.
- Why did the writer get a typewriter tattoo? He wanted to show he was the write stuff.
- Why did the painter get a palette tattoo? He wanted to show he could mix it up.
- Why did the astronomer get a telescope tattoo? He wanted to show he had a starry-eyed perspective.
- Why did the ornithologist get a bird tattoo? He wanted to show he was flying high.
- Why did the surfer get a wave tattoo? He wanted to ride the tide of life.
- Why did the botanist get a flower tattoo? He wanted to bloom wherever he went.
- Why did the knight get a sword tattoo? He wanted to show he was sharp-minded.
- Why did the farmer get a tractor tattoo? He wanted to show he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the tailor get a thread and needle tattoo? He wanted to stitch his place in the world.
- Why did the dancer get a ballet shoes tattoo? She wanted to show she had the right moves.
- Why did the biologist get a DNA tattoo? He wanted to show life’s blueprint.
- Why did the philosopher get a question mark tattoo? He wanted to ponder life’s big questions.
- Why did the sailor get an anchor tattoo? He wanted to show he was steady and strong.
- Why did the clockmaker get a gears tattoo? He wanted to show he was well-timed.
- Why did the blacksmith get a hammer and anvil tattoo? He wanted to show he was striking.
- Why did the athlete get a trophy tattoo? He wanted to show he was a champion.
- Why did the vintner get a grapevine tattoo? He wanted to show he was wine and dined.
- Why did the entomologist get a bug tattoo? He wanted to show he was bugging out.
- Why did the historian get a scroll tattoo? He wanted to show he was timeless.
- Why did the geologist get a rock tattoo? He wanted to show he was solid as a rock.
- Why did the pilot get an airplane tattoo? He wanted to show he was sky-high.
- Why did the physicist get an atom tattoo? He wanted to show he was an elemental force.
- Why did the sailor get a compass tattoo? He never wanted to lose his direction in life.
- Why did the environmentalist get a tree tattoo? He wanted to show he was rooted in nature.
- Why did the mathematician get a Pi tattoo? He wanted to show he was infinitely interesting.
- Why did the cyclist get a bicycle tattoo? He wanted to show he was two-tired.
- Why did the acrobat get a trapeze tattoo? She wanted to show she was hanging in there.
- Why did the marine biologist get a shark tattoo? She wanted to show she was fin-tastic.
- Why did the fitness trainer get a dumbbell tattoo? He wanted to show he was pumped up.
- Why did the zookeeper get a zoo gate tattoo? He wanted to show he had wild interests.
- Why did the musician get a guitar tattoo? He wanted to show he was instrumental.
- Why did the miner get a pickaxe tattoo? He wanted to show he could handle the pressure.
- Why did the archaeologist get a pyramid tattoo? He wanted to show he was digging history.
- Why did the gardener get a sunflower tattoo? She wanted to show she could grow with the sunshine.
- Why did the psychologist get a brain tattoo? He wanted to show he was mindful.
- Why did the nurse get a heart tattoo? She wanted to show she cared from the heart.
- Why did the astronaut get a rocket tattoo? He wanted to show he was shooting for the stars.
- Why did the sailor get a lighthouse tattoo? He wanted to show he was guided by light.
- Why did the cardiologist get a heartbeat tattoo? He wanted to show he was in tune with life.
- Why did the detective get a magnifying glass tattoo? He wanted to show he was focused.
- Why did the astronaut get a moon tattoo? He wanted to show he was over the moon.
- Why did the comic artist get a speech bubble tattoo? He wanted to show he had something to say.
- Why did the drummer get a drum tattoo? He wanted to show he had the rhythm.
- Why did the geographer get a world map tattoo? He wanted to show he was worldly.
- Why did the baker get a cupcake tattoo? She wanted to show she was sweet.
- Why did the singer get a microphone tattoo? She wanted to show she had a voice.
- Why did the marine get a dog tags tattoo? He wanted to show he was loyal to the end.
- Why did the chef get a chef’s hat tattoo? He wanted to show he was the top chef.
- Why did the game designer get a joystick tattoo? He wanted to show he had control.
- Why did the sailor get a ship tattoo? He wanted to show he was sailing through life.
- Why did the horse rider get a horseshoe tattoo? She wanted to show she was lucky.
- Why did the mountain climber get a peak tattoo? He wanted to show he was on top of the world.
- Why did the artist get a paintbrush tattoo? She wanted to show she was coloring her life.
- Why did the skydiver get a parachute tattoo? He wanted to show he was falling for life.
- Why did the diver get a coral tattoo? She wanted to show she was diving deep.
- Why did the forest ranger get a pine tree tattoo? He wanted to show he was pining for nature.
- Why did the botanist get a leaf tattoo? She wanted to show she was turning a new leaf.
- Why did the writer get a quill tattoo? He wanted to show he was writing his own story.
- Why did the mechanic get a spark plug tattoo? He wanted to show he was sparking ideas.