150 southern jokes
Sure, here’s a collection of Southern-themed jokes.
These are meant to be light-hearted and to pay homage to Southern culture in the United States.
They are not intended to offend or stereotype.
- Why did the Southern farmer start a punk rock band? Because he was tired of all that country!
- Why don’t Southern belle secretaries make good detectives? They refuse to stoop to file.
- Why was the Mississippi river always bragging? It had a “flowing” self-esteem!
- Why did the Texan get kicked out of the pancake house? He kept asking where the tortillas were.
- How do you know you’re from the South? When you know that “y’all” is singular, and “all y’all” is plural.
- What do you call a Georgia peach who moved to Hollywood? A Southern Star.
- Why do Southern gardeners always carry a shovel? Cause they dig their roots!
- How do you know if a chef is from the South? They use a “seasoned” cast-iron skillet!
- What’s the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo? The Southern zoo has a description of the animal plus a recipe.
- What do you call a banjo competition in Alabama? Pluck-off!
- Why did the chicken refuse to cross the Georgia road? Because it was a free-range chicken.
- How can you tell if a cat is from the South? When it says “me-y’all” instead of “meow”.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of pie in the South? Boo-berry pie!
- Why was the Kentucky racehorse so well-behaved? Because it was thoroughly-bread.
- Why did the Tennessee sheriff sleep with his boots on? He was upholding the “law and order.”
- What’s the most Southern insect? The “Crick-et.”
- Why did the bread loaf move to the South? It wanted to be a cornbread.
- Why don’t Southern rivers ever get lost? They always follow the current.
- What do you call a cowboy poet from Texas? A verse-atility expert.
- Why are Southern mysteries the hardest to solve? The DNA is all the same and there are no dental records.
- How do you know you’re at a Southern wedding? When the rehearsal dinner is at KFC.
- Why did the Southern Belle become a gardener? She had a green thumb and a love for “belle” peppers.
- Why did the Alabama football player go to art school? He loved to “draw” plays.
- How do you know if a mermaid is from the South? If she has a catfish for a pet.
- Why did the Southern baker always feel so kneady? He was “roll-ing” with it.
- Why don’t people from the South trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- Why was the Southern cornstalk a good listener? It was all ears.
- Why did the Southern comedian go broke? His jokes didn’t have any “cents”.
- Why did the chicken join a band in Nashville? Because it had the drumsticks.
- Why did the Southern cat sit on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
- What’s a Southern ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream!
- Why did the alligator move to Louisiana? He wanted to live in the bayou.
- Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund? He wanted a “long, little doggie.”
- How do Southern dogs stop a DVD? They press the paws button.
- What do you call a Southern bird that’s gone bad? A “malfeatherant”.
- Why did the Southern baker go to therapy? He couldn’t roll with the punches anymore.
- How do you know if a vampire is from the South? He sucks the juice out of peaches.
- What’s a Southern astronaut’s favorite part of a joke? The “spaced” out part.
- Why did the Southern farmer become a musician? He had a talent for beet-boxing.
- How do you know if a bee is from the South? When it buzzes with a drawl.
- Why did the Southern scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
- What did the Southern football player say to the ball? Catch you later!
- Why did the Southern chef go to jail? He was caught beating the eggs.
- Why don’t people from the South play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when everyone says “bless your heart.”
- Why did the Southern fisherman become a musician? He knew how to drop a bass line.
- What do you call a Southern cat who can play the guitar? A Yankee Doodle Dandy.
- Why did the Southern chicken join a band? He had the drumsticks.
- What do you call a rowdy Southern dog? A rebel without a paws.
- Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggie.
- Why did the farmer bring his radio to the garden? He wanted to listen to country music.
- How do you catch a squirrel in the South? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
- Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the Southern football player go to the bakery? Because he needed a good “roll” model.
- How can you tell if a turtle is from the South? When it basks in the sun on a log and says, “Well, ain’t this a fine how do you do!”
- Why did the cowboy bring his pencil to the rodeo? He wanted to draw a bull.
- What do you call a Southern burglar? A “y’allcat.”
- Why did the chicken attend the séance? To talk to the spirits on the other side.
- What did the Alabama bread say to the butter? You’re on a roll.
- Why did the Southern chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- What’s the South’s version of a snowman? A “rainman.”
- Why did the Southern baker rob the bank? He needed some dough.
- What do you call a cat from Kentucky? A “purrsian.”
- Why did the Southern elephant wear green sneakers? Because his red ones were in the wash.
- Why did the Southern man bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite type of street? A dead end.
- Why was the belt arrested in Texas? It was holding up a pair of jeans.
- Why did the tomato turn red in Georgia? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the Southern snake become a detective? He wanted to crack a hiss-terious case.
- What’s a Southern ghost’s favorite type of music? Soul music.
- Why was the Georgia peach a great comedian? It was always peachy keen to make people laugh.
- Why did the Southern chicken go to therapy? It had trouble getting to the other side.
- What does a Texan do when he’s feeling blue? Puts on his cowboy boots and kicks the blues away!
- Why don’t Southern ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits.
- Why did the Southern cat sit on the newspaper? He wanted to pounce on the latest news.
- Why did the Southern bird get a timeout? He wouldn’t stop tweeting.
- Why do Southern seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
- Why did the cowboy sleep with his hat on? He didn’t want to leave his Stetson at the door.
- How do you recognize a Southern spider? It weaves a web y’all can’t escape.
- Why did the ghost go to the Southern party? For the boo-sic and dancing!
- Why was the Southern cactus always pricking people? It wanted to make a point.
- Why did the Southern banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- What’s a Southern farmer’s favorite novel? “Gone with the Wind,” because it blows away all his troubles.
- Why do Southern baseball players make good bakers? They’re excellent at throwing buns!
- Why did the Southern bear bring his radio into the woods? He wanted to listen to country music.
- Why did the tomato blush in Louisiana? It saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the Southern owl join a band? He was a hoot on the saxophone!
- What do you call a lazy Southern bull? A sit-a-bull.
- Why was the Southern bell always ringing? It was trying to get your southern attention.
- Why did the Southern cheese go to art class? It wanted to be grate at drawing.
- Why was the scarecrow a successful politician in the South? He was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the Southern mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-guy!
- Why did the Southern bell go to school? She wanted to be a smart belle.
- Why was the Southern baby strawberry crying? His mom was in a jam.
- Why do Southern birds fly south? Because it’s too far to walk!
- What’s a Southern skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
- Why did the Southern egg hide? It was a little chicken.
- Why did the Southern football team go to the bakery? Because they needed a good “roll” model.
- What’s a Southern snowman’s favorite breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
- Why did the Southern chicken join the band? Because it had the drumsticks.
- What’s a Southern computer’s favorite food? Bytes.
- Why did the Southern lemon stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
- Why did the Southern belt get arrested? It was holding up a pair of pants.
- Why did the Southern farmer bring his iPad to the field? He wanted to download some corn.
- Why did the Southern pencil go to school? It wanted to be sharper.
- Why did the Southern tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call a Southern alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- Why was the Southern corn stalk always eavesdropping? It was all ears.
- What’s a Southern bat’s favorite dessert? Fly pie and apple scream.
- Why did the Southern cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long.
- What does a Southern cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
- Why did the Southern ghost go to the sale? He was looking for some boo-gains.
- Why did the Southern computer take its glasses off? It lost all its Windows.
- What do you call a Southern cat who swallowed a duck? A duck-filled fatty puss.
- What do you call a Southern skeleton who won’t work? Lazy bones.
- Why was the Southern computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- Why did the Southern pig go to the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
- Why did the Southern golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- Why did the Southern gardener plant light bulbs? He wanted to grow a power plant.
- Why did the Southern chicken join a band? It had the drumsticks.
- Why did the Southern teddy bear say “No” to dessert? He was already stuffed.
- Why did the Southern tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What’s a Southern skeleton’s favorite room? The living room.
- Why did the Southern scarecrow stand-up for the vegetables? He was a corn-guardian.
- Why did the Southern baker open a garden? He kneaded a new hobby.
- What does a Southern fish say when it hits a wall? Dam!
- Why did the Southern clock get in trouble? It tocked back.
- Why did the Southern belt go to jail? It was holding up a pair of pants!
- Why did the Southern computer take a nap? It had a hard drive.
- Why did the Southern cookie go to the doctor? It felt crummy.
- Why did the Southern seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a bagel.
- Why did the Southern broom decide to finally retire? It was fed up with being pushed around.
- What does a Southern cloud do when it has lost its job? It goes on the dole-drums.
- Why did the Southern belt get locked up? It couldn’t buckle up and behave.
- Why did the Southern vegetable start a detective agency? It wanted to get to the root of the problems.
- Why was the Southern computer so good at fishing? It mastered the art of phishing.
- Why did the Southern scarecrow become a politician? He was outstanding in his field.
- Why did the Southern ghost stay in bed? It felt sheet-white.
- What’s a Southern rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-hop.
- Why did the Southern tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
- Why did the Southern computer go to school? It heard that the teacher had a lot of class.
- Why was the Southern pencil always losing weight? It was always being sharpened.
- Why did the Southern cat go to school? It wanted to be top of the mew-sic class.
- Why did the Southern owl become a musician? Because it was a hoot.
- Why did the Southern dog sit in the shade? It didn’t want to be a hot dog.
- Why did the Southern donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
- Why did the Southern computer get glasses? To improve its web sight.
- Why did the Southern tree go to the bank? It needed to check its balance.
- Why did the Southern mushroom always have so many friends? Because he was a fungi!
- And lastly, why did the Southern teacher always carry a ladder? He was trying to take his class to new heights!