150 ohio jokes

Sure, that’s quite a large request, but I’ll do my best to come up with some Ohio-themed humor.

Please bear in mind that these jokes are all in good fun and are not intended to cause any offense.

1. Why don’t they have ice in drinks in Ohio? Because the person with the recipe graduated from Michigan!
2. How does an Ohioan count to 10? 0, 1, 2, 3, Michigan sucks, 5…
3. Why did the Ohioan bring string cheese to the football game? They heard the Buckeyes were on a “roll”!
4. Why do all the trees in Michigan lean south? Ohio sucks!
5. What’s the only thing that grows in Cleveland? The crime rate!
6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the Ohio salad dressing!
7. Why do birds fly upside down over Ohio? There’s nothing worth crapping on!
8. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Ohio? Anywhere else, it would’ve been called a teeth brush!
9. Why do Ohioans go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more? Because 17 and under are not admitted!
10. How can you tell an Ohio State football player is going to his car? His hands are in his own pockets!
11. Why was the Ohio State book store selling puzzles? They heard their students liked something challenging to do during halftime!
12. Why did the Ohioan put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
13. What’s the difference between an Ohioan and a baby? The baby will stop whining eventually!
14. Why did the Ohio State football team go to the bakery? They needed a good “roll”!
15. Why do Ohioans always carry a map? So they can avoid Michigan at all costs!
16. Why do Ohio State fans pour their cereal on a plate? They’ve lost all their bowls!
17. Why did the Ohioan stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate”!
18. What’s the difference between an Ohio State graduate and a park bench? A park bench can support a family!
19. What’s round on the ends and high in the middle? O-HI-O!
20. Why do Ohioans have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First!
21. Why did the Ohio State student bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
22. What do you call a good looking girl on the Ohio State campus? A visitor!
23. Why did the Ohioan bring a ladder to school? Because he was going to high school!
24. How do you know you’ve entered Ohio? You feel a great weight lifting off your shoulders – that’s your standards dropping!
25. Why are rectal thermometers banned at Ohio State University? They cause too much brain damage!
26. Why was the Ohio State University football team late for their game? Every time they passed a sign that said “Clean Restrooms,” they did!
27. How many Ohio State students does it take to change a light bulb? None, that’s a sophomore level course!
28. Why don’t Ohio State football players use the internet? They can’t figure out how to hit the “Enter” key while wearing a helmet!
29. Why did the Ohioan get kicked out of the cookie factory? Because he felt crumby!
30. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician in Ohio? Because he was outstanding in his field!
31. Why did the Ohioan get a job at the bakery? Because he kneaded dough!
32. Why don’t people from Ohio take naps? They don’t want to miss out on the two nice days they have each year!
33. What’s the difference between Ohio and yogurt? Yogurt has an active living culture!
34. What do you call a Buckeye with a championship ring? A thief!
35. How does an Ohioan get a one-armed Buckeye out of a tree? Wave to him!
36. Why was the Ohioan depressed after the puzzle contest? He found out that his Cheerios box said 2-4 years!
37. How do you make an Ohio State cookie recipe? Put it in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours!
38. What’s the best thing to come out of Ohio? Interstate 70!
39. Why do ducks fly over Ohio upside down? There’s nothing worth quacking over!
40. What do you call an Ohio State grad with a job? An optimist!
41. What’s an Ohioan’s favorite wine? “I can’t see the mountains!”
42. What do you call an Ohioan who can’t play football? A Michigan fan!
43. Why did the Ohio State football team go to a bakery? They kneaded a good roll!
44. What happens when you sing the Ohio State alma mater backwards? You get your diploma back!
45. Why do Ohio State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces!
46. What does a tornado and a Ohio divorce have in common? Either way, someone’s losing a trailer!
47. What do you call an Ohio State football player with a championship ring? A senior citizen!
48. How do you confuse an Ohio State student? Give them a bag of M&M’s and tell them to alphabetize them!
49. What does an Ohio State fan do when his team has won the BCS championship? He turns off the PlayStation!
50. Why did the Ohioan bring a spoon to the Super Bowl? He heard there was a big bowl of chili!
51. Why don’t Ohio State cheerleaders eat pickles? They can’t get their heads in the jar!
52. How do Ohioans separate their men from their boys? With a restraining order!
53. How do you know you’re from Ohio? When someone mentions “The Game,” you instinctively think Ohio State-Michigan!
54. What do you call a beautiful woman in Ohio? A tourist!
55. Why do they call it the heart of it all? Because you’re equally far from anything interesting!
56. Why do Ohioans carry a car door in the desert? So if it gets too hot, they can roll down the window!
57. Why don’t Ohioans need bookmarks? The sports page is in the middle of the newspaper!
58. Why did the Ohioan bring a fish to the game? He wanted to show off his catch!
59. What do Ohio State and pot have in common? They both get smoked in bowls!
60. Why did the Ohioan bring a ladder to the game? He heard they had high seats!
61. Why did the Ohioan take a nap under his car? He wanted to wake up oily!
62. What’s the best way to get an Ohio State grad off your porch? Pay him for the pizza!
63. What do you call a genius at Ohio State University? A visitor!
64. Why do Ohio State grads hang their diplomas from the rearview mirror? So they can use handicapped parking!
65. How do you know the Ohio State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into town? You can see two Ohio State Police cars wrestling for a squirrel!
66. Why don’t Ohio State athletes drink tea? Because the Buckeyes can’t handle a good cup!
67. Why don’t they make Ohio State coloring books? Because they’d be too hard to stay inside the lines!
68. How do Ohioans change a lightbulb? They don’t. They accept the darkness!
69. Why did the Ohioan stare at his orange juice for hours? Because it said “concentrate” on the box!
70. Why don’t Ohioans have BBQs? The mosquitoes would steal them!
71. Why don’t Ohioans use 911 in an emergency? They can’t find “11” on the phone dial!
72. Why don’t the Ohio State football team have a website? They can’t string three “Ws” together!
73. Why did the Ohio State University library go bankrupt? Because someone stole the book!
74. What do Ohio State and possums have in common? Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
75. What’s the difference between an Ohio State sorority sister and a scarecrow? The scarecrow doesn’t change its clothes every hour!
76. Why did the Ohioan go to the river with a bucket? He heard it was a “stream” of data!
77. Why do Ohio State students have such beautiful noses? They’re hand picked!
78. What’s the difference between Ohio State and cheerios? One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn’t!
79. Why don’t Ohio State fans drink coffee? It makes them think too fast!
80. How do you keep an Ohio State fan from masterminding a crime? Give him a pair of football tickets!
81. What happens when blondes move from Michigan to Ohio? Both states become smarter!
82. What do you call an Ohioan in the Final Four? A referee!
83. How does an Ohioan get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight!
84. What’s the difference between an Ohio State fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish!
85. Why do Ohio State students have TGIF on their shoes? To remind them Toes Go In First!
86. How can you tell if an Ohio State student has been using your computer? There’s Whiteout on the screen!
87. Why did the Ohio State grad cross the road? Better question, why is he out of jail?
88. Why do Ohio State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards? That’s the only way they can use handicapped parking!
89. How does a man from Ohio hold up his pants? With a bible belt!
90. What’s the best thing about living in Ohio? You’re within driving distance of almost any fast food chain in America!
91. What does a Buckeye fan do when his team has won the BCS championship? He turns off the PlayStation!
92. Why did the Ohio State football team go to the bakery? They needed a good “roll”!
93. Why did the Ohio State fan plant Cheerios in his garden? He thought they were donut seeds!
94. What do you call an Ohio State football player with a championship ring? A senior citizen!
95. Why did the Ohio State grad apply for a job at the M&M factory? He thought it was a regular factory for Eminem!
96. Why don’t Ohioans drink iced tea? The ice cube keeps hitting them in the nose!
97. What’s the best way to keep your food from being stolen at Ohio State? Hide it in their books!
98. Why don’t Ohio State fans use 911 in an emergency? They can’t find the “11” on the phone dial!
99. How do you know if an Ohio State student has been in your backyard? Your garbage is gone, and your dog is pregnant!
100. Why did the Ohio State grad bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
101. Why did the Ohio State fan bring a ladder to the game? He heard the seats were nosebleed!
102. Why did the Ohioan put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
103. What do you call a good looking girl on the Ohio State campus? A visitor!
104. How do Ohioans change a lightbulb? They don’t. They accept the darkness!
105. Why did the Ohioan bring a spoon to the Super Bowl? He heard there was a big bowl of chili!
106. How do you know you’re from Ohio? When someone mentions “The Game,” you instinctively think Ohio State-Michigan!
107. Why do Ohioans have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First!
108. Why did the Ohioan get a job at the bakery? Because he kneaded dough!
109. What happens when you sing the Ohio State alma mater backwards? You get your diploma back!
110. Why do Ohio State students have such beautiful noses? They’re hand picked!
111. Why did the Ohio State football team go to a bakery? They kneaded a good roll!
112. How do you confuse an Ohio State student? Give them a bag of M&M’s and tell them to alphabetize them!
113. Why do Ohioans carry a car door in the desert? So if it gets too hot, they can roll down the window!
114. Why do Ohio State grads hang their diplomas from the rearview mirror? So they can use handicapped parking!
115. Why do Ohio State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards? So they can park in handicap spaces!
116. Why don’t the Ohio State football team have a website? They can’t string three “Ws” together!
117. How does an Ohioan get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight!
118. Why did the Ohio State University library go bankrupt? Because someone stole the book!
119. How do Ohio State students have TGIF on their shoes? To remind them Toes Go In First!
120. What’s the difference between an Ohio State sorority sister and a scarecrow? The scarecrow doesn’t change its clothes every hour!
121. Why did the Ohio State fan plant Cheerios in his garden? He thought they were donut seeds!
122. How do Ohioans separate their men from their boys? With a restraining order!
123. What happens when blondes move from Michigan to Ohio? Both states become smarter!
124. What do you call an Ohioan in the Final Four? A referee!
125. What’s the difference between an Ohio State fan and a carp? One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish!
126. Why do Ohio State grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards? That’s the only way they can use handicapped parking!
127. How can you tell if an Ohio State student has been using your computer? There’s Whiteout on the screen!
128. What does a Buckeye fan do when his team has won the BCS championship? He turns off the PlayStation!
129. Why did the Ohioan bring a spoon to the Super Bowl? He heard there was a big bowl of chili!
130. Why did the Ohioan bring a ladder to the game? He heard the seats were nosebleed!
131. Why did the Ohio State grad bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
132. Why did the Ohioan put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
133. What do you call a good looking girl on the Ohio State campus? A visitor!
134. How do you confuse an Ohio State student? Give them a bag of M&M’s and tell them to alphabetize them!
135. How do you keep an Ohio State fan from masterminding a crime? Give him a pair of football tickets!
136. How do Ohioans change a lightbulb? They don’t. They accept the darkness!
137. How does a man from Ohio hold up his pants? With a bible belt!
138. What’s the best thing about living in Ohio? You’re within driving distance of almost any fast food chain in America!
139. Why did the Ohioan go to the river with a bucket? He heard it was a “stream” of data!
140. Why do Ohio State students have TGIF on their shoes? To remind them Toes Go In First!
141. Why did the Ohio State grad cross the road? Better question, why is he out of jail?
142. Why don’t Ohio State fans drink coffee? It makes them think too fast!
143. Why did the Ohioan stare at his orange juice for hours? Because it said “concentrate” on the box!
144. Why do Ohioans carry a car door in the desert? So if it gets too hot, they can roll down the window!
145. Why did the Ohio State grad apply for a job at the M&M factory? He thought it was a regular factory for Eminem!
146. Why did the Ohioan get a job at the bakery? Because he kneaded dough!
147. How do you know you’re from Ohio? When someone mentions “The Game,” you instinctively think Ohio State-Michigan!
148. Why did the Ohioan move to Seattle? He couldn’t find any other place that was as overcast as his beloved Ohio!
149. Why did the Ohioan take a nap at the art museum? He was trying to soak up culture through osmosis!
150. Finally, what’s the one thing that keeps Ohioans from becoming tea drinkers? They haven’t figured out how to fit the donuts into the teacups!