150 morning jokes

  1. Why did the sun go to school?
    • Because it wanted to be a little brighter!
  2. What do you call a sunny egg in the morning?
    • An “egg-light” breakfast.
  3. How do coffee beans start their day?
    • They get freshly grounded.
  4. Why was the baby computer cold in the morning?
    • It left its Windows open.
  5. Why did the alarm clock go to therapy?
    • It needed help winding down.
  6. How do we know the sun is so friendly?
    • Because it always says, “Hi” in the morning!
  7. What do you call a wide-awake dinosaur?
    • An early-raptor.
  8. Why did the scarecrow become a morning person?
    • Because he was outstanding in his field.
  9. Why did the bacon laugh?
    • Because the egg cracked a yolk.
  10. What do you call a clock on the moon?
    • A lunar-tick.
  11. Why do mornings love the letter M?
    • Because mornings always start with M!
  12. Why did the loaf of bread stay in bed?
    • It felt crumby.
  13. How do you catch a squirrel in the morning?
    • Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  14. What do you call a cat who loves mornings?
    • An early-purr.
  15. Why did the breakfast date go sour?
    • They couldn’t see “b-eye-con.”
  16. Why was the coffee filter?
    • Because it sieved the day!
  17. What did the morning coffee say to the sugar?
    • You sweeten up my life.
  18. Why are computers like men?
    • Because they’re useless until they boot up.
  19. Why don’t secrets work at sunrise?
    • Because it’s dawned on everyone.
  20. How does a tree get ready in the morning?
    • It gets spruced up.
  21. Why was the pancake a great baseball player?
    • Because it always had a great batter!
  22. Why did the doughnut go to the doctor?
    • Because it was feeling crummy.
  23. What did the doughnut say to the coffee?
    • I donut know how I would start the day without you.
  24. What do birds give out at breakfast time?
    • Tweets.
  25. Why did the morning light blush?
    • Because it saw the dawn break.
  26. Why do we never tell secrets in a cornfield at dawn?
  27. Why is the bed more intelligent than the computer?
    • Because it knows when to crash.
  28. What did one morning say to the other morning?
    • “Mornin’!”
  29. What do you call a morning person walking their dog?
    • A dawn-walker.
  30. Why are ghosts happy in the morning?
    • Because they get their “ghoul-den” sleep.
  31. What did the espresso say to the latte?
    • “I’ve been having brew-tiful mornings with you.”
  32. How does a coffee pot feel in the morning?
    • It feels “brew-tiful.”
  33. Why are breakfast jokes always funny?
    • Because they’re crackin’ yolks!
  34. Why did the sun refuse to come out in the morning?
    • Because it was having a light bulb moment!
  35. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
    • Thunderwear!
  36. Why did the alarm clock get a timeout?
    • Because it wouldn’t stop going off!
  37. What did the yogurt say to the cereal?
    • “I’m cultured, what are you?”
  38. Why did the honey complain in the morning?
    • It felt stuck in the breakfast routine.
  39. How does a mathematician enjoy his morning?
    • With a cup of “co-phi.”
  40. Why was the sandwich a good comedian?
    • Because it always spread the laughter in the morning.
  41. Why do bagels make good detectives?
    • They always go through a “loaf” of bread to get the crumbs of information!
  42. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
    • Because he was outstanding in his field. Especially at dawn!
  43. Why do breakfast foods never argue?
    • Because they believe in peace and quiet.
  44. How does the ocean say hello?
    • It waves!
  45. Why did the cereal go to the party?
    • Because it heard it was going to be a “bowl.”
  46. What does the morning wind say when it greets the trees?
    • “How’s it blowin’?”
  47. Why did the toast go to the zoo?
  48. How does the clock greet the morning?
    • “Hands up, it’s a new day!”
  49. Why did the bagel go to tennis practice?
    • It wanted to work on its serve!
  50. Why was the baby strawberry crying?
    • Because it wasn’t berry well.
  51. How does the morning greet the hill?
    • “Hi and low.”
  52. How does the moon leave the sky in the morning?
    • It phases out.
  53. What did one breakfast food say to the other?
    • “Omelet you finish, but…”
  54. Why did the computer take its coffee to the meeting?
    • It needed a “byte.”
  55. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
  56. What do the eggs do when they see the frying pan in the morning?
    • They crack up.
  57. How does a sandwich tie its shoes in the morning?
  58. Why don’t basketball players like mornings?
    • Because they might get called for “traveling.”
  59. How does the morning welcome the sun?
    • With arms wide open and eyes shut tight.
  60. Why did the computer go to work early?
    • It had a hard “drive.”
  61. Why don’t soccer players do well in the mornings?
    • They always start off with a “kick.”
  62. How does the morning make the sun blush?
    • By calling it “hot.”
  63. Why are ghosts bad liars?
    • Because they’re too transparent.
  64. Why did the granola go to therapy?
    • It had a lot of “clusters.”
  65. What do you call a bird who’s late for breakfast?
    • A flappy meal.
  66. Why did the bread roll down the hill in the morning?
    • It wanted to feel kneaded.
  67. What do you call a hen that counts her eggs?
    • A mathemachicken.
  68. Why do cows lie down at dawn?
    • Because they’ve herd it all before.
  69. Why did the jam go to school?
    • To become a little “smarter.”
  70. Why don’t the moon and the sun ever meet?
    • Because it would be a total eclipse of the heart!
  71. Why do the sun and the moon always chase each other?
    • Because they have a “light” feud.
  72. Why did the can crusher quit his job?
    • Because it was soda pressing.
  73. How does the sun drink water?
    • Out of the sky-ler.
  74. Why was the computer cold at the office?
    • It left its Windows open.
  75. Why did the bread go to therapy?
    • It felt all dough inside.
  76. Why don’t people tell secrets during breakfast?
    • Because the corn has ears and the potatoes have eyes!
  77. How does a hill greet the morning?
    • With a peak-a-boo.
  78. What do you call a morning sandwich?
    • A “roll” model.
  79. Why don’t we see elephants hiding in trees?
    • Because they’re really good at it!
  80. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
    • In case he got a hole in one.
  81. What do you call a fast fungus?
    • A mush-vroom.
  82. Why did the computer show up at work late?
  83. Why did the orange go to school?
    • It wanted to get a little juicer.
  84. Why did the cereal break up with the milk?
    • It felt soggy.
  85. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
    • Thunderwear.
  86. Why did the blanket say to the bed?
    • “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!”
  87. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
  88. Why did the scarecrow become a politician?
    • He was outstanding in his field!
  89. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
    • “Hi, bud!”
  90. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
    • A sand-witch.
  91. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
    • They don’t have the guts.
  92. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
    • An abdominal snowman.
  93. What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
    • Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  94. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
  95. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
  96. What did the ocean say to the beach?
    • Nothing, it just waved.
  97. Why was the math book sad?
    • Because it had too many problems.
  98. What does a nosy pepper do?
  99. What do you call a fake noodle?
    • An impasta.
  100. What do you call a computer that sings?
    • A-Dell.
  101. Why was the picture sent to jail?
    • It was framed.
  102. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
    • In case he got a hole in one.
  103. What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
    • Nobody knows.
  104. Why did the bike fall over?
    • It was two-tired.
  105. Why was the belt arrested?
    • For holding up a pair of pants.
  106. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
    • Because every play has a cast.
  107. How do you catch a squirrel?
    • Climb a tree and act like a nut.
  108. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
    • Because they make up everything.
  109. Why was the math book sad?
    • Because it had too many problems.
  110. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
    • Because he was always spotted.
  111. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
  112. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
  113. Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
    • Because it felt crummy.
  114. How do you organize a space party?
    • You planet.
  115. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    • A gummy bear.
  116. Why don’t some animals play cards?
    • Because they’re afraid of cheetahs.
  117. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
    • A can’t opener.
  118. What do you call a fish without eyes?
    • Fsh.
  119. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
  120. Why do melons have weddings?
    • Because they cantaloupe.
  121. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
    • They don’t have the guts.
  122. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?
    • They could crack up.
  123. Why did the tomato turn red?
    • Because it saw the salad dressing.
  124. What do you call a fly without wings?
    • A walk.
  125. Why was the computer cold?
    • It left its Windows open.
  126. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
    • Because he was outstanding in his field.
  127. Why don’t some animals play cards?
    • They’re afraid of cheetahs.
  128. What’s a cat’s favorite color?
    • Purrr-ple.
  129. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    • Nacho cheese.
  130. How do you catch a squirrel?
    • Climb a tree and act like a nut.
  131. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
    • An abdominal snowman.
  132. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    • A gummy bear.
  133. Why did the math book look sad?
    • Because it had too many problems.
  134. What do you call a fake noodle?
    • An impasta.
  135. What do you call a fish without eyes?
    • Fsh.
  136. Why was the belt arrested?
    • For holding up a pair of pants.
  137. How does a train eat?
    • It goes chew chew.
  138. What’s a foot’s favorite type of chips?
    • Doritoes.
  139. Why did the tomato turn red?
    • Because it saw the salad dressing!
  140. What do you call a dog that can do magic?
    • A Labracadabrador.
  141. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
    • Because he was outstanding in his field.
  142. Why do melons have weddings?
    • Because they cantaloupe.
  143. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
    • A gummy bear.
  144. Why don’t some animals play cards?
    • They’re afraid of cheetahs.
  145. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    • Nacho cheese.
  146. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?
    • They could crack up.
  147. How do you catch a squirrel?
    • Climb a tree and act like a nut.
  148. What’s a foot’s favorite type of chips?
    • Doritoes.
  149. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?
    • They could crack up.
  150. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
    • An abdominal snowman.

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