135 tired jokes
- Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged.
- How do you keep a bagel from getting tired? Don’t let it “loaf” around.
- Why was the computer cold at the office? It left its Windows open.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, but he was always a bit tired.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
- Why didn’t the skeleton fight the vampire? He didn’t have the stomach for it, too tired.
- What do you call a tired snowman? Water.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, and it was worn out.
- Why did the cell phone go to therapy? It lost its “charge”.
- How do bees get to school? On the school buzz, but it’s exhausting.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, it’s tiring.
- Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants and got tired.
- Why don’t basketball players get tired on vacation? They travel light!
- Why was the photograph tired? It had been framed.
- What did the tired fire say? I’m burnt out.
- Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast, and they look worn out.
- Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator, but he’s weary of the job.
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish, and it’s too exhausting.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together, but it’s tiring work.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear, too tired to hunt.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one, it’s wearisome.
- What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeno business, and it’s tiring.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open and got a virus, it’s tired now.
- Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants, it’s a tiring job.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta, tired of pretending.
- Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side, it’s been a tiring journey.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese, it’s tired of being stolen.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems, it’s tired.
- Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener, tired of failing.
- What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner, but I’m tired.
- What’s a teddy bear’s favorite exercise? Bearobics, but they’re exhausting.
- Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it, it’s tiring.
- How does the ocean say hello? It waves, but it’s tiring.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, and blushing is tiring.
- Why don’t some animals play cards in the wild? Too many cheetahs, it’s exhausting.
- What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead, it’s tiring.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels, and that’s tiring.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot, but pretending is tiring.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, and it’s tiring work.
- What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador, but magic is tiring.
- What did one elevator say to the other elevator? I think I’m coming down with something, it’s exhausting.
- Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose, but the puns are tiring.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems, and solving them is exhausting.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, it’s too tiring.
- Why did the octopus cross the road? To get to the other tide, it’s a tiring journey.
- Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks, but touring is tiring.
- Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the shark keys, and it’s exhausting.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh, and it’s tired of the jokes.
- Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one, and it’s tiring.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta, too tired of pretending.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain, but climbing it is tiring.
- What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot, but shopping is tiring.
- Why don’t some fish like to know their weight? Because they have their own scales, and it’s tiring.
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick, but explaining the joke is tiring.
- Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk, it’s exhausting.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, but it’s a tiring job.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman, but exercising is tiring.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, and it’s tiring.
- What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe, but decision making is exhausting.
- What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you, but expressing feelings is tiring.
- Why do cows go to New York? To see the moosicals, but travelling is tiring.
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a bad “byte”, and it’s tired now.
- Why did the bread go to therapy? It had a lot of “kneads”, and it’s exhausted.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open, and now it’s tired.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one, it’s a tiring preparation.
- Why was the calendar feeling down? Its days were numbered, and it was exhausted.
- What do you call a cat that just ate a duck? A duck-filled fatty-puss, but hunting is tiring.
- Why was the broom late? It over-swept, too tired.
- What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer, but guessing is tiring.
- Why did the gardener plant a light bulb? He wanted to grow a power plant, but it’s exhausting.
- Why was the math book sad? Because of all its problems, and it was tired.
- Why don’t some animals play cards in the wild? Because there are too many cheetahs, and it’s tiring.
- Why was the cat sitting on the computer? Because it wanted to keep an eye on the mouse, but it’s tiring.
- Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school, but it’s exhausting.
- What did the tired traffic light say? Don’t look, I’m changing.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear, but chewing is tiring.
- Why don’t we write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless, and it’s exhausting.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador, but magic is tiring.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy, and it’s tired.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, but it’s exhausting.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open, and now it’s tired.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one, it’s exhausting.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta, but pretending is tiring.
- Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk, it’s tiring.
- What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh, and it’s tired of this joke.
- What do you call a cat that just ate a duck? A duck-filled fatty-puss, but hunting is tiring.
- Why do cows go to New York? To see the moosicals, but travelling is tiring.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador, but magic is tiring.
- Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one, and it’s tiring.
- What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot, but shopping is tiring.
- What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe, but decision making is exhausting.
- Why was the broom late? It over-swept, and it’s tired.
- Why did the student bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school, but it’s exhausting.
- Why was the math book sad? Because of all its problems, and it was tired.
- What did the tired traffic light say? Don’t look, I’m changing.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear, but chewing is tiring.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain, but climbing it is tiring.
- Why don’t some fish like to know their weight? Because they have their own scales, and it’s tiring.
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick, but explaining the joke is tiring.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing, and blushing is tiring.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot, but pretending is tiring.
- Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing, it’s tired.
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left, it’s too tiring.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh, and it’s tired of the jokes.
- What’s a teddy bear’s favorite exercise? Bearobics, but they’re exhausting.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta, too tired of pretending.
- Why did the gardener plant a light bulb? He wanted to grow a power plant, but it’s exhausting.
- What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner, but I’m tired.
- Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose, but the puns are tiring.
- Why was the computer cold at the office? It left its Windows open, it’s too tiring.
- Why did the octopus cross the road? To get to the other tide, it’s a tiring journey.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts, it’s too tiring.
- Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks, but touring is tiring.
- Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the shark keys, and it’s exhausting.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman, but exercising is tiring.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine, it’s tired.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese, it’s tired of being stolen.
- Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long, it’s tired.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together, but it’s tiring work.
- Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast, and they look worn out.
- What did the tired fire say? I’m burnt out, it’s tiring.
- Why was the photograph tired? It had been framed, and it’s exhausting.
- Why don’t basketball players get tired on vacation? They travel light, it’s not tiring.
- Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants and got tired.
- How do bees get to school? On the school buzz, but it’s exhausting.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, it’s tiring.
- What do you call a tired snowman? Water, it’s too exhausted.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, and it was worn out.
- Why did the cell phone go to therapy? It lost its “charge”, it’s too tired.
- What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener, tired of failing.
- How do you keep a bagel from getting tired? Don’t let it “loaf” around, it’s exhausting.