100 Son-in-law Jokes

Son-in-law jokes are a lighthearted way to poke fun at the sometimes stereotypical antics and quirks of the beloved individuals who have joined our families through marriage.

These jokes playfully highlight the humorous side of the relationships between fathers/mothers-in-law and their sons-in-law, often incorporating witty wordplay and clever punchlines.

From their quirky hobbies and ambitious aspirations to their occasional mishaps and comical habits, son-in-law jokes bring a smile to our faces and remind us of the unique dynamics within our extended families.

So, let’s embark on a delightful journey filled with laughter as we explore a collection of amusing son-in-law jokes.

Son-in-law Jokes

Here’re The Top 100 Son-in-law Jokes:

  1. Why don’t they let son-in-laws make coffee in the family? Because when they get it right, you can’t bear to tell them anything else is wrong!
  2. My son-in-law and I were on a fishing trip. I asked, “Why are you catching all the small fish?” He replied, “I can’t keep anything bigger than my apartment.”
  3. I told my son-in-law to stop acting like a flamingo. He had to put his foot down.
  4. My son-in-law said he wanted to be an astronaut. I told him the sky’s the limit.
  5. Why did my son-in-law bring a ladder to the bar? Because he wanted to reach for the stars.
  6. My son-in-law said he was going to start a bakery in his attic… he said the profits will go “through the roof.”
  7. What do you call a son-in-law who can play the piano? A relative minor.
  8. My son-in-law quit his job at the helium factory. He said he wouldn’t be spoken to in that tone.
  9. Son-in-law: “I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.” Me: “And I don’t trust son-in-laws because they’re always downstairs.”
  10. How do you know your son-in-law is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
  11. Son-in-law, did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
  12. My son-in-law thinks he’s a smart guy. Told me he knows a guy who owns a small island. I asked him, “Is it a local?”
  13. My son-in-law says, “I can cut a piece of wood just by looking at it.” I said, “That’s true, I saw it with my own eyes.”
  14. I told my son-in-law he needs to stop eating clocks. It’s too time consuming.
  15. Son-in-law asked me if I knew how to make holy water. I said, “Sure, you boil the hell out of it.”
  16. Son-in-law: “Do you know why skeletons are so calm?” Me: “No, why?” Son-in-law: “Because nothing gets under their skin!”
  17. Son-in-law told me, “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!”
  18. My son-in-law was studying to be a historian. He realized there was no future in it.
  19. My son-in-law’s weightlifting routine is very simple. He lifts weights only on days that don’t end in ‘y’.
  20. Why did my son-in-law take a nap on the field? Because he wanted to rest in peas!
  21. Son-in-law: “I have a fear of speed bumps.” Me: “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it.”
  22. Son-in-law: “I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.”
  23. My son-in-law tried to catch fog yesterday. I told him, “Mist opportunity.”
  24. My son-in-law told me he is terrified of elevators. I’m taking steps to avoid them.
  25. Son-in-law: “I’ve got a great joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.”
  26. I asked my son-in-law why he took his door off the hinges. He said, “I wanted to always leave it open.”
  27. My son-in-law tried to win a hide-and-seek world championship. But he said, “Good players are hard to find.”
  28. My son-in-law went to the butcher’s shop. He came back with the chops.
  29. I asked my son-in-law why he had a ship’s wheel in his pants. He said, “It’s driving me nuts.”
  30. My son-in-law walked into a library and asked if they had any books on paranoia. The librarian whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
  31. Why did my son-in-law refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? Because he thought he might be a cheetah.
  32. My son-in-law said, “I would tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.”
  33. Son-in-law: “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
  34. Son-in-law: “I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.
  35. Son-in-law: “I have a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.”
  36. Son-in-law: “Why was the math book sad?” Me: “Why?” Son-in-law: “Because it had too many problems!”
  37. Son-in-law: “I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”
  38. Son-in-law: “Why don’t some fish play piano?” Me: “I don’t know, why?” Son-in-law: “Because you can’t tuna fish.”
  39. My son-in-law is like an old dog. He can’t learn new tricks, but he can sure fetch the beer.
  40. Son-in-law: “I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.”
  41. Son-in-law: “I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.”
  42. My son-in-law told me he wanted to be a stand-up comedian. I said, “Sit down, you’re not that funny.”
  43. Son-in-law: “Why don’t scientists trust atoms?” Me: “Why?” Son-in-law: “Because they make up everything!”
  44. My son-in-law is like a book you can’t put down. Because it’s usually propping up the table.
  45. Son-in-law: “I’m thinking of going on an all-almond diet.” Me: “That’s just nuts.”
  46. My son-in-law’s cooking is like abstract art. Interesting, but you can’t tell what it is.
  47. Son-in-law: “I would avoid the sushi if I were you. It’s a little fishy.”
  48. Son-in-law: “What’s brown and sticky?” Me: “What?” Son-in-law: “A stick!”
  49. My son-in-law said he wanted to become a vegetarian. I told him, “I think it’s a missed steak.”
  50. Son-in-law: “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”
  51. My son-in-law’s jokes are like his cooking – you smile and nod, but really you want to spit it out.
  52. Why is my son-in-law like a broken pencil? Because he’s pointless!
  53. My son-in-law is a magician when he’s cooking. Everything disappears!
  54. Son-in-law: “Have you heard the joke about the jump rope?” Me: “Skip it.”
  55. Son-in-law: “Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm?” Me: “Why?” Son-in-law: “Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.”
  56. My son-in-law tried his hand at archery. He couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, but he kept trying – you have to admire his arrow-gance.
  57. Son-in-law: “I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.”
  58. Why did my son-in-law put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets.
  59. Son-in-law: “I have a fear of speed bumps but I am slowly getting over it.”
  60. My son-in-law was going to get a brain transplant. But then he changed his mind.
  61. Son-in-law: “I used to be a baker… I kneaded the dough.”
  62. My son-in-law is like a coin. Two-faced, but still valuable!
  63. My son-in-law can sleep like a baby. Every two hours, he wakes up crying.
  64. Son-in-law: “I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.”
  65. My son-in-law was going to tell me a joke about infinity. But it didn’t have an ending.
  66. Son-in-law: “I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired.”
  67. Son-in-law: “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
  68. My son-in-law’s favorite movie is about a guy who forgot to put sugar in his coffee. He said it’s a ‘brew’tal story.
  69. Son-in-law: “Why don’t we ever see elephants hiding in trees?” Me: “I don’t know, why?” Son-in-law: “Because they’re so good at it!”
  70. Why did my son-in-law get a job at the clock factory? Because he wanted to make some time.
  71. Son-in-law: “Do you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.”
  72. Why did my son-in-law go to the paint store? He wanted to get a little color in his life.
  73. Son-in-law: “Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?” Me: “Why?” Son-in-law: “They can crack up.”
  74. My son-in-law thinks he’s a car. Every time I ask him to do something, he stalls.
  75. Son-in-law: “My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.”
  76. My son-in-law brought a knife to a gunfight. He was sharp, but not too bright.
  77. Son-in-law: “I’d tell you a construction joke but I’m still working on it.”
  78. My son-in-law likes to work out at the library. He says it’s the only place where he can exercise his mind and body at the same time.
  79. Son-in-law: “Why was the math book sad?” Me: “I don’t know, why?” Son-in-law: “Because of all its problems.”
  80. My son-in-law is like a child with a new toy. Excited, until it’s time to clean up.
  81. Son-in-law: “My friend says to me, ‘What rhymes with orange?’ I said, ‘No it doesn’t.'”
  82. My son-in-law and I went to a restaurant on the moon. Great food, no atmosphere.
  83. Son-in-law: “I’m reading a book about gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  84. Why did my son-in-law go to the casino? To deal with his problems.
  85. Son-in-law: “What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.”
  86. My son-in-law is like a bottle of ketchup – you have to hit him a few times to get him moving.
  87. Son-in-law: “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”
  88. Why is my son-in-law like a Christmas tree? They both have decorative balls.
  89. Son-in-law: “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
  90. My son-in-law can turn anything into a weapon – even a conversation.
  91. Son-in-law: “Why do we tell actors to ‘break a leg?'” Me: “Why?” Son-in-law: “Because every play has a cast.”
  92. My son-in-law is like a computer. I don’t understand his language, and he always has a lot of windows open.
  93. Son-in-law: “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
  94. My son-in-law is a comedian. But sometimes his jokes are hard to swallow.
  95. Son-in-law: “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”
  96. Why is my son-in-law like a baseball game? Three strikes and he’s out.
  97. Son-in-law: “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
  98. My son-in-law and I are like two peas in a pod. We both make my daughter roll her eyes.
  99. Son-in-law: “I’m reading a book on the history of glue – can’t put it down.”
  100. My son-in-law thinks he’s a comedian. But to me, he’s more of a sit-down than a stand-up.


Son-in-law jokes provide us with an opportunity to celebrate the funny moments and idiosyncrasies that arise when our families expand through marriage. These jokes cleverly capture the humorous side of the relationships between fathers/mothers-in-law and their sons-in-law, reminding us that laughter can bridge the gap between generations and bring us closer together.

Whether it’s the son-in-law’s ambitious dreams, unconventional sense of humor, or amusing anecdotes, these jokes playfully highlight the joy and camaraderie found within the family unit.

So, the next time you find yourself in need of a good chuckle, remember the son-in-law jokes and embrace the laughter they bring into our lives. After all, family bonds are made stronger when shared with a touch of humor and a hearty dose of laughter.

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