126 newfie jokes

Sure, I’ll do my best to generate 150 jokes based on “Newfie” humor.

Please note, however, that using the term “Newfie” to refer to people from Newfoundland can be controversial, as some people find it derogatory, while others see it as a term of endearment.

These jokes will be meant as light-hearted humor, not to stereotype or mock anyone from Newfoundland.

1. Why did the Newfie bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
2. Why don’t Newfies play hide and seek? Because nobody will look for them!
3. Why did the Newfie stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate”!
4. What do you call a Newfie at a university? A visitor!
5. How do you sink a Newfie’s submarine? Knock on the door!
6. Why did the Newfie bring a car door into the desert? If it got too hot, he could just roll down the window!
7. Why did the Newfie stick his head into the oven? He wanted to have a hot head like the mainlanders!
8. How do you keep a Newfie in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow!
9. Why did the Newfie bring a hockey stick to his final exam? He was told there would be some hard shots!
10. Why do Newfies always carry a pencil? You never know when you’ll come across a drawbridge!
11. Why did the Newfie keep his ice cubes in the freezer? He liked to keep them for cold, hard cash!
12. Why did the Newfie put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets!
13. How can you tell a Newfie’s been using the computer? There’s White Out on the screen!
14. What’s a Newfie’s idea of a balanced diet? A beer in each hand!
15. Why did the Newfie bring a fishing pole to a music concert? He heard there was a good chance to catch some bass!
16. Why did the Newfie stand under the clock? He wanted to be on “time”!
17. Why did the Newfie put his bed in the fireplace? He wanted to sleep like a log!
18. Why did the Newfie bring sandpaper to the desert? He heard it was a map!
19. Why did the Newfie wear his left shoe on his right foot? He didn’t want to be left behind!
20. Why did the Newfie keep the door open during a thunderstorm? He thought the lightning needed a way in!
21. How did the Newfie try to cool his coffee? By using the fan!
22. Why did the Newfie bring a bucket to the party? He heard it was BYOB – Bring Your Own Bucket!
23. Why did the Newfie stare at the Ford Mustang? He couldn’t figure out how they got the horse inside!
24. How do you confuse a Newfie? Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner!
25. What did the Newfie say when he saw a pair of pants? “Look, it’s a one-legged race!”
26. Why did the Newfie take a nap in the barn? He wanted to hit the hay!
27. Why did the Newfie bring a ladder to school? Because he was trying to get to high school!
28. Why did the Newfie put his radio in the fridge? He wanted some cool music!
29. Why did the Newfie put his clock under his bed? He wanted to wake up on time!
30. Why did the Newfie paint his boat bottom green? He wanted to sneak up on the fish!
31. How did the Newfie break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree!
32. Why did the Newfie study on a plane? He wanted higher learning!
33. Why did the Newfie bring his baseball bat to the grocery store? He heard there was fresh squash!
34. Why did the Newfie throw his clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly!
35. What do you call a Newfie with a seagull on his head? Cliff!
36. How do you make a Newfie laugh on a Sunday? Tell him a joke on a Friday!
37. Why did the Newfie put a ruler by his bed? He wanted to see how long he slept!
38. Why did the Newfie go to the store with a boat? He heard there was a sail!
39. Why did the Newfie bring a camera to his exam? He wanted to picture the problems!
40. Why did the Newfie put lipstick on his forehead? He was trying to makeup his mind!
41. Why did the Newfie bring a cat to the beach? He thought it was a sandcat!
42. Why did the Newfie put his flashlight in the fridge? He needed some light refreshment!
43. Why did the Newfie go to the bakery? He needed some dough!
44. Why did the Newfie bring a tape measure to the park? He wanted to measure his fun!
45. Why did the Newfie stick his nose in the toaster? He wanted to wake up to the smell of toasted bread!
46. Why did the Newfie put a picture of his missing wallet in the paper? He thought a picture was worth a thousand words!
47. How do you keep a Newfie home? Stick a note on the door that says “Go Home”!
48. Why did the Newfie walk into the wall with a fish on his head? He wanted to scale the wall!
49. Why did the Newfie eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake!
50. Why did the Newfie go to the shoe store with a ruler? He wanted to foot the bill!
51. Why did the Newfie sit on the TV? He wanted to catch up on his favorite show!
52. Why did the Newfie bring an umbrella to the car dealership? He heard there was a reign of good deals!
53. Why did the Newfie put wheels on his rocking chair? He wanted to rock and roll!
54. Why did the Newfie bring a broom to his driving test? He heard he had to sweep the roads!
55. How do you stop a Newfie from drowning? Take your foot off his head!
56. Why did the Newfie go to school at the beach? He wanted to test the waters!
57. Why did the Newfie walk into the wall with a duck on his head? He wanted to quack it!
58. Why did the Newfie bring a net to the lemonade stand? He heard there were some juicy catches!
59. Why did the Newfie keep his lunch in the blender? He was making a sandwich!
60. Why did the Newfie get on the roof to play the guitar? He wanted to play some high notes!
61. Why did the Newfie bring a bucket of water to the computer? He wanted to surf the web!
62. Why did the Newfie bring a bowling ball to the football match? Heheard it was a “roll” game!
63. Why did the Newfie put his shoes in the fridge? He wanted to cool his heels!
64. Why did the Newfie bring a lamp to the bar? He heard they were serving light beer!
65. Why did the Newfie put a picture of his car in the oven? He wanted a hot rod!
66. Why did the Newfie put his TV in the freezer? He wanted to watch some cool shows!
67. Why did the Newfie bring a scale to the fish market? He wanted a good weigh in!
68. Why did the Newfie put his dinner in a blender? He wanted a meal on the go!
69. Why did the Newfie take a bath with his fishing pole? He wanted to clean his line!
70. Why did the Newfie put a map on his hot dog? He heard it was the way to relish the journey!
71. Why did the Newfie put an engine in his bathtub? He wanted to make a clean getaway!
72. Why did the Newfie walk into the kitchen with his surfboard? He wanted to ride the microwave!
73. Why did the Newfie put an orange in his cereal? He thought it would be a-peel-ing!
74. Why did the Newfie bring a calculator to the restaurant? He heard the stakes were high!
75. Why did the Newfie keep a coat hanger in his car? In case he locks himself out!
76. Why did the Newfie wear gloves to dinner? He heard the chili was hot!
77. Why did the Newfie put his mattress on the stove? He wanted a bed and breakfast!
78. Why did the Newfie take his door off the hinges? He wanted to leave the door open for opportunity!
79. Why did the Newfie eat ice cream in the storm? He heard there was a chance of sprinkles!
80. Why did the Newfie put his shoes in the microwave? He wanted a quick boot up!
81. Why did the Newfie bring his guitar to the beach? He wanted to strum sand-where over the rainbow!
82. Why did the Newfie put a clock in his shoe? He wanted to be on his toes!
83. Why did the Newfie put the fish in his ear? He wanted to hear the ocean!
84. Why did the Newfie put a sign that says “Gone Fishing” on his computer? He wanted to reel in some emails!
85. Why did the Newfie bring a cake to the garden? He heard it was a plant sale, and he wanted to “sweeten” the deal!
86. Why did the Newfie keep his umbrella open indoors? He wanted to rain on his own parade!
87. Why did the Newfie bring a fan to the baseball game? He was a big air-head!
88. Why did the Newfie bring a ladder to the coffee shop? He heard they served brewed on the top shelf!
89. Why did the Newfie put a picture of his fridge in the freezer? He wanted to keep things chill!
90. Why did the Newfie take his sheep to the party? He heard there was going to be shear madness!
91. Why did the Newfie put a snowball in the oven? He wanted to see a meltdown!
92. Why did the Newfie put his bed in the barn? He wanted to rise with the chickens!
93. Why did the Newfie stare at the bottle of ketchup? He was trying to catch up with his thoughts!
94. Why did the Newfie bring a tree to the dog park? He heard they were barking up the wrong tree!
95. Why did the Newfie keep a roll of toilet paper on his desk? He was on a roll!
96. Why did the Newfie bring a book to the football game? He heard they were scoring points!
97. Why did the Newfie put his tea in the freezer? He wanted to make some iced tea!
98. Why did the Newfie put a screen door on his submarine? He wanted to keep the fish out!
99. Why did the Newfie bring a mug to the church? He heard there was a mass!
100. Why did the Newfie put his cat on the stove? He heard it was a hot cat!
101. Why did the Newfie put his glasses in the freezer? He wanted to look cool!
102. Why did the Newfie bring a raft to the garden? He wanted to ride the wave of blossoms!
103. Why did the Newfie put a turkey in his shoes? He wanted to gobble as he walked!
104. Why did the Newfie take his car to the library? He heard there was a booking!
105. Why did the Newfie put an elephant in his fridge? He wanted to keep things trunk-tight!
106. Why did the Newfie bring a snake to the game? He heard it was s-s-super!
107. Why did the Newfie put a sail on his car? He wanted to go wind surfing!
108. Why did the Newfie put his money under the mattress? He wanted to rest easy!
109. Why did the Newfie bring a mirror to the bank? He wanted to see some reflection on his account!
110. Why did the Newfie put a shoe on his head? He wanted to be well-heeled!
111. Why did the Newfie put a TV in the fridge? He wanted to catch a cold show!
112. Why did the Newfie put a lemon under his pillow? He wanted to wake up on the zesty side!
113. Why did the Newfie bring a stick to the cinema? He heard there was a box office hit!
114. Why did the Newfie put his ear to the ground? He wanted to hear the earth’s beat!
115. Why did the Newfie put his bed in the bathroom? He wanted to wake up in a splash!
116. Why did the Newfie put a radio in his fridge? He wanted to listen to some cool tunes!
117. Why did the Newfie bring an eraser to the dinner table? He wanted to rub out his hunger!
118. Why did the Newfie put a toaster in his bath? He wanted a bubble toast!
119. Why did the Newfie put his passport in the blender? He wanted a smoothie transition!
120. Why did the Newfie bring a ladder to the library? He heard the books were on the top shelf!
121. Why did the Newfie put a turtle in his car? He wanted to ride slow and steady!
122. Why did the Newfie bring a fork to the concert? He wanted to have a good pitch!
123. Why did the Newfie put a hamburger in his shoe? He wanted to ketchup with the fast food!
124. Why did the Newfie bring a ruler to bed? He wanted to measure his dreams!
125. Why did the Newfie put an umbrella in his soup? He wanted to rain in the flavor!
126. Why did the Newfie put his clock in the fridge? He wanted to have cool time!