150 Movie jokes

  1. Why doesn’t James Bond play hide and seek? Because no matter where he goes, he’s always Bond, James Bond.
  2. Why did Harry Potter go to the therapy? He couldn’t get over the Sirius loss.
  3. How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
  4. Why did Woody give Buzz Lightyear a time out? Because he wouldn’t stop going “to infinity and beyond!”
  5. What do you call the Fast and Furious crew at a winter sports event? Sled and Curious.
  6. Why did Luke Skywalker cross the road? To get to the Dark Side.
  7. Why did Frodo start a gardening service? He was good at getting rid of ringworm.
  8. Why doesn’t Inception have a dedicated fan club? Because it’s hard to figure out which layer they belong to.
  9. Why did Jack Sparrow become a musician? He was always good with the high Cs.
  10. Why do the Avengers love playing cards? Because they always have a Hulk to trump.
  11. How does Jason Bourne remember his past? He Bourne-again.
  12. Why did Elsa go to a therapist? She had a frozen shoulder.
  13. Why did the T-Rex from Jurassic Park go to school? To improve its short hand.
  14. What is Captain America’s favorite music? Stars and Stripes Forever.
  15. Why did the DeLorean from Back to the Future get a parking ticket? For parking in the wrong decade.
  16. What do you call a group of Minions who start a rock band? Banana Republic.
  17. Why did the Matrix fail at the box office? Because no one could decode it.
  18. Why did Anakin Skywalker become a chef? He was good at slicing.
  19. What did Scarface say when he ran out of sugar? Say hello to my little sweetener.
  20. How does Gollum from LOTR propose to his girlfriend? Will you be my precious?
  21. Why did Simba fail his driving test? Because he couldn’t wait to be king of the road.
  22. What do you call it when King Kong goes to prom? A beast ball.
  23. Why did Wall-E go to college? He wanted to be a bit more than a trash compactor.
  24. Why is the Terminator a terrible bartender? He always says “I’ll be back” but never returns.
  25. Why did the shark in Jaws go to a dentist? Because he was tired of eating raw.
  26. What’s Thor’s favorite dessert? Thunder cake.
  27. Why did the Twilight vampires start a band? They had the best “Bite Rhythm”.
  28. Why did Wonder Woman get a GPS? She kept lassoing the truth out of directions.
  29. What’s Spiderman’s favorite brand of rice? Uncle Ben’s.
  30. Why is Black Widow terrible at poker? She can’t keep a poker face when she sees a spider.
  31. Why did the Titanic sink? Because it was tired of the “iceberg lettuce” jokes.
  32. What do you call a documentary about The Hunger Games? ‘Starve Wars’.
  33. Why did Neo from The Matrix refuse to fight on a boat? He didn’t want to get in deep water.
  34. What is Iron Man’s favorite drink? Stark Raving Mad.
  35. Why does Dracula never win at poker? Because he always plays his hand close to his chest.
  36. Why is the Hulk such a good gardener? He has a green thumb.
  37. Why is Edward Scissorhands never invited to parties? He’s a cut above the rest.
  38. Why did the notebook become a horror movie? Because of all the pages that were torn apart.
  39. What do you call a Star Trek character with a cold? Atchoo Spock.
  40. What is Yoda’s advice for getting over an ex? “Do or do not. There is no try.”
  41. Why did Rocky become a baker? He knows how to roll with the punches.
  42. What do you call Forrest Gump when he’s angry? Forrest Grump.
  43. Why did Thanos start a cleaning business? He’s great at making things disappear.
  44. Why did the Incredibles never play hide and seek? Because Violet always cheats.
  45. Why don’t Mummies watch horror movies? Because they come unraveled.
  46. How does Bruce Wayne like his drinks? On the rocks, just like his parents.
  47. What did the shark from Finding Nemo say at the party? I’m having a whale of a time.
  48. Why did Indiana Jones become a teacher? He knows his way around a whip.
  49. What do you call a superhero who saves breakfast? Eggman.
  50. Why did the Alien go to school? To improve his space-ial awareness.
  51. Why did Aragorn become a geologist? He’s good at identifying rocks.
  52. Why did Belle fall for the Beast? She had a thing for hairy guys.
  53. Why did E.T. go to art school? He wanted to phone home his skills.
  54. How did Gandalf solve the riddle? He used his grey matter.
  55. Why did Godzilla go on a diet? He couldn’t fit into his scales.
  56. What is Deadpool’s favorite day of the week? Wound-day.
  57. Why did Scar never win at chess? He always lost his Pride.
  58. Why did Mulan join the military? She wanted to make a man out of herself.
  59. What’s the Jurassic Park’s T-Rex favorite exercise? Dino-sores.
  60. Why did the Ghostbusters go broke? They had too many overheads and not enough apparitions.
  61. Why did Jigsaw want to play a game? He was tired of puzzling over things alone.
  62. Why is Iron Man so good at parties? He always brings his metal to the pedal.
  63. Why was the Exorcist a bad roommate? He kept bringing up old spirits.
  64. What is Doctor Strange’s favorite pastime? Warping reality TV.
  65. Why did the penguins from Madagascar go to the North Pole? They took a wrong turn.
  66. Why was Chewbacca always in detention? He never combed his hair.
  67. What does the Invisible Man drink at parties? Evaporated milk.
  68. Why did the boy from The Sixth Sense go to a party? He heard there were some spirits.
  69. Why did Captain Hook become a fisherman? He was always hooked on it.
  70. What’s the motto of the Terminator? “Hasta la vista, chores.”
  71. What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot-be.
  72. Why did the Monster from Frankenstein start a band? He was great at holding notes.
  73. What did the aliens in Independence Day do on the 4th of July? They lit up the sky.
  74. Why did Kevin from Home Alone grow up to be an architect? He’s great at setting traps.
  75. What did the Na’vi from Avatar say at the opera? “I see you.”
  76. What is the Hulk’s favorite social media? Smashbook.
  77. Why was Freddy Krueger a bad stand-up comedian? His jokes always bombed in their sleep.
  78. How does the Shape of Water’s amphibian man like his dinner? Wet.
  79. Why did Hermione Granger become a librarian? She had the magic touch with books.
  80. Why did Dory from Finding Nemo get lost at the concert? She couldn’t find her own scale.
  81. How do you solve a problem like Maria? Teach her to sing in the hills.
  82. Why was Edward from Twilight a bad cook? He could only make blood pudding.
  83. Why did Jaws become a dentist? He always had a biting interest in teeth.
  84. Why did the Phantom of the Opera go broke? He invested in a “note”-worthy venture.
  85. Why did Aladdin become a comedian? He always had the magic touch with humor.
  86. Why did the Lion King fail his exam? He was caught “lion.”
  87. What’s Michael Myers’ favorite holiday? Halloween, it’s a no-brainer!
  88. Why did Frodo get kicked out of the music band? He couldn’t find the right “ring.”
  89. What’s the name of Spider-Man’s favorite dance? The Web-step.
  90. Why was Jack from The Shining a good writer? He made every word “axe”-ing.
  91. Why did the Pirates of the Caribbean fail at poker? They couldn’t keep their p-p-p-poker face.
  92. Why did Wolverine start a manicure salon? He always had a cutting edge.
  93. What’s Black Panther’s favorite song? “Cat Scratch Fever.”
  94. Why did the Mummy open a wrapping service? He was always wrapped up in work.
  95. Why did Doctor Octopus become a chef? He always had a hand in the pie.
  96. Why was Ripley from Alien a good teacher? She knew how to handle class monsters.
  97. What do you call a Predator’s dating app? “Prey-Mates.”
  98. What’s Bruce Banner’s favorite color? Hulk Green.
  99. Why did the Gremlins start a night club? They knew how to “mogwai” with the rhythm.
  100. Why did the Extra-Terrestrial phone home? He didn’t have a roaming plan.
  101. What’s Optimus Prime’s favorite dance move? The Robot.
  102. Why was Katniss Everdeen a bad baker? She kept burning the bread.
  103. Why was the Ring from Lord of the Rings a good actor? It always had a role to play.
  104. What do you call a lazy Alien? Extra-rest-rial.
  105. Why did John Wick become a candle maker? He had a wick-ed sense of humor.
  106. What did the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland say at the tea party? “I’m late, for a very important date.”
  107. Why did Dr. Jekyll become a bartender? He always had a Hyde for drinks.
  108. Why was King Kong a bad poker player? He always went ape.
  109. What is Mr. Miyagi’s favorite drink? Wax On, Whiskey Off.
  110. Why did Moana become a sailor? She was always drawn to the sea.
  111. Why was Marty McFly a good musician? He knew all about the “bass” and the future.
  112. Why did the Joker never play cards? He preferred wild games.
  113. Why was Tony Stark bad at chess? He was too busy playing checkers with his life.
  114. What’s Darth Vader’s favorite day of the year? The Fourth (May the Fourth be with you).
  115. Why did Buzz Lightyear become a motivational speaker? He always went “to infinity and beyond.”
  116. Why did the nun from The Conjuring start a bakery? She always made devilishly good cakes.
  117. Why was Shrek a good businessman? He knew all about taking risks and making green.
  118. Why was King Leonidas from 300 a bad hairdresser? He always went for the Spartan look.
  119. Why did Mulder from X-Files become a detective? He wanted to believe.
  120. What did the birds in Bird Box say when they saw danger? “We’re not flying blind!”
  121. Why did Superman fail his driving test? He always flew past red lights.
  122. Why did Elsa make a bad comedian? Her jokes always froze on stage.
  123. Why did the Titanic avoid the iceberg? It didn’t want to break the ice.
  124. Why did Scarface fail at poetry? He couldn’t get past “Say hello to my little friend.”
  125. Why did the Transformers start a car dealership? They were always good at shifting gears.
  126. Why was Neo from the Matrix a bad gardener? He couldn’t tell the real plants from the fake ones.
  127. What did T’Challa say when he saw a black cat? “Wakanda coincidence is this?”
  128. Why did the Ghost in the Shell start a tech company? She had a shell of an idea.
  129. Why did the Joker from Batman fail at stand-up comedy? His jokes were too “killing.”
  130. What is Captain Jack Sparrow’s favorite drink? “Rum, always rum!”
  131. Why was Lara Croft a good archaeologist? She always had a Tomb Raider’s instinct.
  132. Why was the Babadook a good librarian? He always knew where the books were hidden.
  133. Why did Aquaman never play water polo? He was afraid of making a splash.
  134. Why was Pennywise from IT a good clown? He always knew how to float.
  135. What did the Xenomorph from Alien say at the party? “Kiss me, I’m foreign.”
  136. Why did Peter Pan never play baseball? He always flew past second base.
  137. Why did Anakin Skywalker never play in the rain? He hated sand; it gets everywhere.
  138. What did James Bond say when he ran out of bullets? “Shaken, not stirred.”
  139. Why did the Hulk never play hide and seek? He couldn’t hide his anger.
  140. What did Quasimodo say at the hearing test? “I have a hunch I can’t hear well.”
  141. Why was Beetlejuice a good exterminator? He knew all about bugs.
  142. What is Wonder Woman’s favorite song? “Woman, I can hardly express.”
  143. Why did the White Walkers from Game of Thrones become chefs? They were always good at breaking the ice.
  144. Why did Marty McFly become a historian? He was always good at going back to the past.
  145. Why did Alice get lost in Wonderland? She followed the white rabbit down the hole.
  146. Why was Maleficent a good party planner? She always knew how to make an entrance.
  147. Why was Spider-Man a good photographer? He always caught the perfect shot.
  148. Why did the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park start a band? They wanted to rock the ages.
  149. Why did Cinderella never win at soccer? Her coach was a pumpkin.
  150. Why was ET a bad phone operator? He always phoned home.

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