57+ garlic puns

1. Why don’t garlic ever get invited to parties? Because they have a pungent personality!
2. I tried to write a book about garlic but it just didn’t have enough layers.
3. Did you hear about the garlic who became a lawyer? He’s great at peeling back the evidence!
4. What does garlic do when it gets hot? It takes its cloves off!
5. How does garlic apologize? It begs your pardon!
6. What do you call a garlic who’s good at math? A “bulb” genius!
7. What’s garlic’s favorite sport? Basket-bulb!
8. Why do garlic make poor secret agents? They always leave a strong trail!
9. How did the garlic get out of the kitchen? It bolted!
10. What’s garlic’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day!
11. Why did the garlic go to the party? To spice things up!
12. What do you call a garlic in a race? The “spice” runner!
13. Why did the garlic blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
14. What’s garlic’s favorite band? The Rolling Scones!
15. Why is garlic the smartest vegetable? Because it’s an Allium-ni of Harvard!
16. How do you call an annoyed garlic? Grumpy Gorgonzola!
17. How does garlic ask for a date? Any “thyme” for dinner?
18. Why is garlic always calm? It’s got a lot of “inner peas”!
19. Why did the garlic go to the doctor? It was feeling a little “peel-y”!
20. What’s garlic’s favorite song? “Allium my mind”!
21. Why is garlic never lonely? Because it’s part of the Allium family!
22. What’s garlic’s favorite car? A Lamborgreeni!
23. What did the garlic say to the bully? “You can’t intimi-date me!”
24. What do you call a funny garlic? A crack-up herb!
25. Why did the garlic join the gym? It wanted to get into “gar-lick” shape!
26. Why doesn’t garlic play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
27. What’s garlic’s favorite subject? His-story!
28. Why did the garlic stay at home? It didn’t feel like going “out-onion”!
29. What did garlic say to the door? Lettuce in!
30. Why did the garlic go to the music concert? It was a big “fan-thyme”!
31. How does garlic like its eggs? Well-bulbed!
32. What’s garlic’s favorite part of the joke? The “punch” line!
33. What did the garlic say after dinner? “That was “grate”!
34. Why did the garlic refuse to fight the onion? It didn’t want a stinky situation!
35. Why don’t garlic have many friends? They’re too a-peeling!
36. Why did the garlic join the orchestra? It had the organ skills!
37. What did garlic say at the start of the race? “I’m on a “roll”!
38. What did the garlic say to the celery? Stalk to you later!
39. What’s garlic’s favorite dance? The Salsa!
40. Why don’t garlic go to school? They’re already too sharp!
41. How does garlic get ready for a date? It freshens up its “scent-ence”!
42. Why did the garlic join the circus? It wanted to be the “ring-leader”!
43. What did garlic say to the mirror? “I’m a good-looking “bulb”!”
44. Why was the garlic on the computer? It was updating its “gar-licenced” software!
45. Why did the garlic get a time-out? It was being “a-salt-y”!
46. Why did the garlic join the library? It wanted to be “booked”!
47. What do you call a garlic who can sing? A “wrap” star!
48. What’s garlic’s favorite movie? “Dial M for Marinara”!
49. What’s a garlic’s favorite TV show? “The Fresh Prince of Bell-Pepper”!
50. Why did the garlic get promoted? It was the “head” of its time!

I’m halfway through the list.

I hope you’re having as much fun as I am.

Let’s keep going!

51. How does garlic break up with its partner? “It’s not you, it’s “m-eal”!
52. Why did the garlic go to therapy? It had a lot of bottled-up “emulsions”!
53. What’s garlic’s favorite instrument? The “piano-roli”!
54. What’s garlic’s favorite hobby? “Peel-ates”!
55. Why did the garlic get a ticket? It broke the “clove-r” speed limit!
56. What did the garlic do at the beach? It got “sun-scorched”!
57. What did garlic say when it won the game? “I “beat-root” you!”
58. What’s garlic’s favorite reading? Po-e-tree!
59. What’s garlic’s favorite city? “Gar-lick” City!
60. What did the garlic say to its child? “I’m “root-ing” for you!”
61. What’s garlic’s favorite animal? “Ele-plant”!
62. What did garlic say to its friend? “Lettuce celebrate”!
63. What did the garlic say to the tomato? “You’re a “ripe” companion”!
64. What’s garlic’s favorite mythological creature? The “Basil-isk”!
65. Why did the garlic go to space? To explore the “uni-verse”!
66. How does garlic stay fit? By doing “herb-al” exercises!
67. What did garlic say to the wall? “I’m done with your “gar-licking”!”
68. What’s garlic’s favorite book? “To “Kale” a Mockingbird”!
69. What’s garlic’s favorite superhero? “Super-bulb”!
70. What’s garlic’s favorite type of music? “R-and-Beet”!
71. Why did the garlic start a band? It wanted to “rock-et”!
72. What did the garlic say when it was lost? “I’m in a “pickle”!
73. What did the garlic say to the joke? “You “crack” me up”!
74. Why did the garlic go on a diet? It wanted to “trim” its “leaves”!
75. Why did the garlic cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
76. What did garlic say at the end of the meeting? “That’s a “wrap”!
77. Why did the garlic refuse to leave the casino? It was on a “roll”!
78. Why did the garlic start a business? It had a lot of “stalk” in the market!
79. Why did the garlic get a job? To make some “dough”!
80. Why did the garlic get arrested? It was caught “loafing” around!
81. What did the garlic say to its partner? “You’re the “apple” of my eye”!
82. Why did the garlic get a high score? It was on a “roll”!
83. What did the garlic say to the bagel? “You’re “butter” than the rest”!
84. What did garlic say to the chef? “You’re “grate”!
85. What’s garlic’s favorite video game? “Super Mario Broth-ers”!
86. Why did the garlic join the band? It had the “chops”!
87. Why did the garlic go to the bakery? It felt “kneady”!
88. What did the garlic say to the pizza? “You’re so “cheesy”!
89. Why did the garlic start a blog? It had a lot of “thyme” on its hands!
90. Why did the garlic refuse to play cards? It was afraid of “dealing”!
91. What did the garlic say to the steak? “Well done”!
92. Why did the garlic get a trophy? It was “a-maize-ing”!
93. What did the garlic say to the potato? “You’re “a-peeling”!
94. What did the garlic say to the bread? “You’re the “yeast” of my worries”!
95. Why did the garlic go to the grocery store? It wanted to “check-out”!
96. What did the garlic say to the sushi? “You’re “soy” good”!
97. Why did the garlic wear a watch? It wanted to “spring forward”!
98. What did the garlic say to the blender? “You’re “whisk-y”!
99. What’s garlic’s favorite fashion brand? “Calvin “Kale-in”!
100. Why did the garlic go to college? It wanted to be a “smart-cookie”!

Halfway to the finish line!

Let’s keep this “rolling”!

101. Why did the garlic join a rock band? It loved “beet” music!
102. Why did the garlic go to the bar? To get a “little-tipsy”!
103. Why did the garlic wear glasses? It wanted to look “speck-tacular”!
104. What did the garlic say to the egg? “You’re “egg-straordinary”!
105. What did the garlic say to the book? “You’re “in-tent-sive”!
106. Why did the garlic get a watch? It was “thyme” for a new one!
107. What did the garlic say to the corn? “You’re “a-maize-ing”!
108. Why did the garlic go to the market? To “stalk” up on supplies!
109. What did the garlic say to the soup? “You’re “souper”!
110. What did the garlic say to the chef? “You’re the “best of thyme”!
111. Why did the garlic get a haircut? It wanted to look “sharp”!
112. Why did the garlic go to the concert? It wanted to “catch the beet”!
113. Why did the garlic go to the gym? It wanted to “feel the burn”!
114. What did the garlic say to the ice cream? “You’re “cool”!
115. Why did the garlic go to the museum? It had a “thyme” for art!
116. What did the garlic say to the sandwich? “You’re “sub-lime”!
117. Why did the garlic go to the comedy show? It needed a good “laugh”!
118. What did the garlic say to the chicken? “You’re “egg-ceptional”!
119. What did the garlic say to the burger? “You’re a “grill” pleasure!
120. What did the garlic say to the coffee? “You’re “brew-tiful”!
121. Why did the garlic go to the zoo? It wanted to see the “roars”!
122. Why did the garlic go to the park? It needed some “fresh air”!
123. Why did the garlic go to the bakery? It wanted a “roll”!
124. Why did the garlic join the orchestra? It had a “band” for music!
125. What did the garlic say to the tea? “You’re “brew-tiful”!
126. What did the garlic say to the cake? “You’re “bake-tacular”!
127. Why did the garlic go to the theatre? It wanted to “catch a show”!
128. What did the garlic say to the carrot? “You’re “root-iful”!
129. Why did the garlic go to the spa? It needed a “break”!
130. What did the garlic say to the wine? “You’re “vine-tastic”!
131. Why did the garlic go to the farm? It wanted to “see the animals”!
132. What did the garlic say to the beer? “You’re “brew-rilliant”!
133. Why did the garlic go to the beach? It wanted to “catch some rays”!
134. What did the garlic say to the pasta? “You’re “pasta-tively” amazing!
135. Why did the garlic go to the casino? It wanted to “hit the jackpot”!
136. What did the garlic say to the candy? “You’re “sweet”!
137. Why did the garlic go to the carnival? It wanted to “ride the Ferris wheel”!
138. What did the garlic say to the soda? “You’re “pop-ular”!
139. Why did the garlic go to the mall? It wanted to “shop till it dropped”!
140. What did the garlic say to the milk? “You’re “udderly” fantastic!
141. Why did the garlic go to the gym? It wanted to “work up a sweat”!
142. What did the garlic say to the sausage? “You’re “sizzlin'”!
143. Why did the garlic go to the club? It wanted to “dance the night away”!
144. What did the garlic say to the steak? “You’re “well-done”!
145. Why did the garlic go to the art gallery? It had a “palette” for beauty!
146. What did the garlic say to the salad? “You’re “lettuce-ly” fantastic!
147. Why did the garlic go to the cinema? It wanted to “see a blockbuster”!
148. What did the garlic say to the whiskey? “You’re “on the rocks”!
149. Why did the garlic go to the music festival? It loved to “jam”!
150. What did the garlic say to the champagne? “You’re “bubbling” with joy”!