57+ garfield jokes

Sure, I’ll create a series of Garfield-inspired jokes for you.

Remember, Garfield is famously a fat, lazy, and sarcastic orange tabby cat who loves lasagna and disdains Mondays.

1. Why did Garfield take a nap on the calendar?
   • He was trying to get through a rough Monday.
2. What’s Garfield’s favorite type of music?
   • Jazz-agna!
3. Why doesn’t Garfield play hide and seek with Odie?
   • Because wherever he hides, the lasagna finds him!
4. Why is Garfield bad at playing cards?
   • He can’t deal with Monday.
5. Why did Garfield join the gym?
   • Because he heard they had a treadmill that delivers lasagna.
6. Why did Garfield never get a job?
   • Because every day is a weekend for him.
7. How does Garfield like his coffee?
   • The same way he likes his Mondays: not at all.
8. Why did Garfield refuse to play chess?
   • Because he hates the idea of working on a checkmate.
9. What do you call Garfield when he’s in a hurry?
   • Fast Food!
10. Why did Garfield bring a ladder to the bar?

• Because he heard the drinks were on the house.

11. Why does Garfield dislike dieting?

• He thinks it’s a dish best served to no one.

12. Why does Garfield make a terrible secret agent?

• His only disguise is a lasagna pan.

13. Why doesn’t Garfield play football?

• He’s afraid of getting a “cat-ch.”

14. Why does Garfield keep his radio off?

• Because he’s afraid of “pop” music.

15. How does Garfield handle speed bumps?

• He slows down for no obstacles, except for naps.

16. What’s Garfield’s favorite movie?

• “The Sound of Mew-sic.”

17. Why does Garfield never finish his to-do list?

• Because “nap” is always on the top.

18. Why doesn’t Garfield want to go to space?

• He heard there’s no lasagna on Mars.

19. What’s Garfield’s advice for a good life?

• Take a nap at every opportunity.

20. Why did Garfield wear sunglasses at night?

• He wanted to be a “cool cat.”

21. What’s Garfield’s favorite part about fishing?

• The part where he lies down in the boat and takes a nap.

22. What’s Garfield’s favorite season?

• Fall, because it’s the perfect weather for napping.

23. Why doesn’t Garfield like sports?

• The idea of a “running start” confuses him.

24. What’s Garfield’s favorite computer key?

• The “escape” key, especially on Mondays.

25. Why doesn’t Garfield wear a watch?

• He knows it’s always time for lasagna.

26. What does Garfield call a painting of himself?

• A “purr-trait.”

27. What’s Garfield’s favorite kind of pizza?

• Lasagna topped pizza.

28. Why is Garfield like a computer?

• He has lots of windows (for napping).

29. What kind of doctor is Garfield?

• A napologist.

30. Why does Garfield never sing in the shower?

• He’s afraid of water, let alone a singing career.

31. Why did Garfield never learn to cook?

• He thought the smoke alarm was a timer.

32. What is Garfield’s favorite planet?

• Nap-tune.

33. Why did Garfield bring a ruler to bed?

• To see how long he slept.

34. Why doesn’t Garfield play baseball?

• He thinks bats are for sleeping, not for hitting.

35. What’s Garfield’s favorite dance move?

• The nap-dab.

36. Why did Garfield never become a teacher?

• He can’t stand the thought of grading papers on a Monday.

37. Why did Garfield watch the lasagna?

• He knows that a watched pot never boils, but he hopes a watched lasagna heats faster.

38. What does Garfield call a fast lasagna?

• A “past-a blur!”

39. Why doesn’t Garfield go camping?

• Because he hates the idea of an “intense” situation.

40. What’s Garfield’s favorite constellation?

• The “Big Sleeper.”

41. Why did Garfield get a ticket?

• For “loafing” around too much.

42. Why doesn’t Garfield like to go shopping?

• He can’t stand the “check-out” line.

43. Why did Garfield never become an astronaut?

• He can’t stand the idea of a “launch” without lasagna.

44. Why is Garfield the best at hide and seek?

• Because he always “naps” in his hiding place.

45. What did Garfield do when his TV broke?

• He had a “breakdown.”

46. Why is Garfield not a good babysitter?

• The babies keep waking him up from his naps.

47. What’s Garfield’s favorite type of math?

• Geometry, because it has the most “angles” for napping.

48. Why did Garfield refuse to play the piano?

• He’s scared of “key” responsibilities.

49. Why did Garfield get thrown out of the library?

• For trying to eat the cookbooks.

50. Why did Garfield bring a pillow to the party?

• He was preparing for a “sleep-over.”

51. What’s Garfield’s favorite quote?

• “The only thing to fear is fear itself… and Mondays.”

52. What do you call Garfield at a comedy club?

• A “stand-nap” comedian.

53. Why doesn’t Garfield play video games?

• He can’t find any that let him nap.

54. Why did Garfield go to the bakery?

• Because he heard there were fresh rolls… for napping.

55. Why is Garfield a terrible gardener?

• His idea of “sowing seeds” is spreading lasagna crumbs.

56. Why doesn’t Garfield like Halloween?

• He doesn’t enjoy the “scream” cheese.

57. What’s Garfield’s favorite type of bread?

• Sleepy seed loaf.

58. Why does Garfield hate Spring?

• The sounds of the birds chirping interrupt his naps.

59. Why did Garfield bring lasagna to the beach?

• He heard there would be a “bake” in the sun.

60. Why did Garfield get a blanket for his birthday?

• To cover his napping needs.

61. Why did Garfield refuse to climb the mountain?

• He said the view was better from the base… while napping.

62. What’s Garfield’s least favorite game?

• “Catch” Me If You Can.

63. Why did Garfield become a philosopher?

• Because he spends a lot of time “thinking” in his sleep.

64. Why did Garfield join the circus?

• He thought the lion tamer’s chair looked comfy.

65. Why did Garfield go to the opera?

• To sleep through the longest performances.

66. Why is Garfield bad at time management?

• Because “now” and “nap time” are the same in his watch.

67. Why did Garfield get an F in art class?

• His still life sketches were all of lasagna.

68. Why did Garfield bring a sleeping bag to the concert?

• He wanted to be a “rock-n-rest” star.

69. Why doesn’t Garfield want to be president?

• Too many early mornings.

70. Why is Garfield like a tree?

• He’s great at “branching out” his nap locations.

71. Why doesn’t Garfield like going to the zoo?

• Too many “awake” animals.

72. What’s Garfield’s least favorite type of music?

• Anything but lullabies.

73. Why did Garfield go to cooking school?

• To perfect his lasagna recipe.

74. Why did Garfield go to the spa?

• He heard they offered “napping” treatments.

75. Why did Garfield fail at baking?

• He always mixes up “nap” time and “knead” time.

76. Why did Garfield become a meteorologist?

• To predict the best weather for napping.

77. Why doesn’t Garfield like Christmas?

• The idea of “sleigh bells” waking him up scares him.

78. What does Garfield consider a nightmare?

• A world without lasagna.

79. Why did Garfield refuse to become a racecar driver?

• He’s afraid of the “fast” lane.

80. Why is Garfield a terrible detective?

• His best technique is “snoozing” for clues.

81. Why did Garfield go to the tailor?

• To get his sleeping bag fitted.

82. Why does Garfield hate Thanksgiving?

• Too much turkey, not enough lasagna.

83. Why did Garfield refuse to join the band?

• He didn’t want to blow his own trumpet… it would interrupt his nap.

84. What’s Garfield’s favorite type of exercise?

• The one where he lifts lasagna to his mouth.

85. Why did Garfield get a ticket at the park?

• For “loafing” on the bench.

86. Why is Garfield not a good tour guide?

• His tours always end at the nearest nap spot.

87. Why did Garfield take a map to bed?

• He wanted to “travel” in his dreams.

88. Why did Garfield go to the museum?

• To critique the “still life with lasagna” exhibit.

89. What does Garfield dislike about camping?

• The idea of a “bear” minimum comfort level.

90. Why is Garfield a terrible swimmer?

• His idea of a “dive” is diving into a lasagna pan.

91. Why did Garfield become a film critic?

• He rates movies by their “nap-ability.”

92. Why did Garfield join the yoga class?

• He heard the term “resting pose.”

93. Why did Garfield get kicked out of the library?

• He tried to eat the cookbook section.

94. Why is Garfield a terrible fisherman?

• He eats the bait… if it’s lasagna.

95. Why did Garfield take a selfie with his lasagna?

• For his “mew-sical.ly” followers.

96. What does Garfield consider a sport?

• Chasing lasagna deliveries.

97. Why did Garfield go to the casino?

• He thought he could “sleep” on it and get lucky.

98. Why did Garfield go to the bakery?

• He heard that the bread was “freshly baked.”

99. Why did Garfield refuse to be a firefighter?

• Too many alarms.

100. Why did Garfield go to the beach?

• He wanted to nap on the sand.

101. What’s Garfield’s favorite flower?

• The “nap-dragons.”

102. Why did Garfield become a chef?

• To make a “rest-ipe” for the perfect lasagna.

103. Why did Garfield refuse to play tennis?

• Too much running, not enough napping.

104. Why is Garfield a terrible driver?

• His preferred speed is “nap.”

105. Why did Garfield visit the desert?

• He thought “sand-dunes” were large pillows.

106. Why did Garfield refuse to run a marathon?

• He said the only thing he runs for is lasagna.

107. Why is Garfield like a newspaper?

• He’s always full of “new-snooze.”

108. What does Garfield call a nightmare?

• A day without a nap.

109. Why did Garfield go to the amusement park?

• He heard there was a “lazy” river.

110. Why did Garfield refuse to learn magic?

• He can’t pull rabbits out of a hat; he’s too busy napping in it.

111. What does Garfield do when he sees a mouse?

• Check if it brought lasagna.

112. Why did Garfield go to the moon?

• He heard it’s made of cheese… close enough to lasagna.

113. Why did Garfield get a massage?

• To enhance his napping technique.

114. Why did Garfield never become a baker?

• He confused “yeast” with “siesta.”

115. What does Garfield call a good day?

• A full lasagna pan and an empty schedule.

116. Why did Garfield join the soccer team?

• He thought the “net” was a hammock.

117. Why did Garfield visit the coffee shop?

• He heard they served “mew-chas.”

118. Why did Garfield refuse to become a pilot?

• He heard there’s no time for “cat-naps.”

119. What’s Garfield’s favorite type of pasta?

• The “sleepy-tini.”

120. Why did Garfield go to the cinema?

• He heard they had “reclining” seats.

121. Why did Garfield never learn to play the guitar?

• He thought “strings” were for tying up lasagna boxes.

122. Why did Garfield go to the planetarium?

• To find the “nap” star.

123. Why did Garfield refuse to become a singer?

• He didn’t want to wake up to hit high notes.

124. What’s Garfield’s idea of a great outdoor adventure?

• A nap in the backyard.

125. Why did Garfield get a boat?

• To enjoy “napping” on the open sea.

126. Why did Garfield become a film director?

• He wanted to make the “nap-buster” of the year.

127. Why did Garfield go to the ice cream shop?

• He heard they had “lazy” sundae.

128. Why did Garfield refuse to learn to juggle?

• He was afraid he might drop a lasagna.

129. Why did Garfield visit the zoo?

• He wanted to learn the “lazy” techniques from the sloths