150 dinner jokes

  1. Why don’t we ever tell secrets at dinner? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
  2. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  3. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash to pay for dinner!
  4. Why was the cucumber mad? Because it was in a pickle!
  5. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
  6. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  7. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because he couldn’t find a date!
  8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… of corn!
  9. What do you call a hamburger that mediates? A patty peace-maker!
  10. Why did the baker go to therapy? He kneaded it for his dough issues!
  11. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They might crack up!
  12. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
  13. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
  14. What does a nosy pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
  15. What’s a computer’s favorite snack? Microchips!
  16. Why did the lettuce blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  17. Why do we never play hide and seek with food? Because good luck hiding when the ice cream starts melting!
  18. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
  19. What do you call an avocado that’s been blessed by the pope? Holy guacamole!
  20. What’s the most musical part of a chicken? The drumstick!
  21. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dinner party? He had no body to go with!
  22. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
  23. How do you make a sausage roll? Push it down the hill!
  24. Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!
  25. Why was the math book sad at dinner? Because it had too many problems!
  26. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  27. Why didn’t the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby!
  28. What did the Frenchman say to the bread? Bonjour dough!
  29. What’s a sandwich’s favorite game? Rye and seek!
  30. What do you call a fast fungus? A mush-vroom!
  31. Why didn’t the slice of bread go to the zoo? It was afraid of feeding the ducks!
  32. Why did the orange go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling very well!
  33. Why did the potato go to the party? Because it was a spud-muffin!
  34. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  35. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
  36. What do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
  37. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
  38. What did the gingerbread man use to fix his house? Icing and gumdrops!
  39. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling very well!
  40. What did the bread say to the knife? You’re toast!
  41. Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because he’s a fungi!
  42. Why did the dinner roll? Because it saw the apple turnover!
  43. Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop? To make ends meat!
  44. Why was the math book at the dinner table? It had a lot of problems to digest!
  45. Why don’t you invite a rice grain to play hide-and-seek? Because wherever it goes, it leaves a paddy!
  46. Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to go to sleep? Because it was pasta bedtime!
  47. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Mice cream!
  48. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long!
  49. Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled!
  50. Why was the belt arrested at dinner? It was holding up a pair of pants!
  51. Why did the bacon laugh? Because the egg cracked a yolk!
  52. Why did the meatball get in trouble? Because it was saucy!
  53. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  54. Why was the computer cold at lunch? It left its Windows open!
  55. What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? An astronut!
  56. What did the melon say to its daughter before dinner? Don’t forget to clean your rind!
  57. Why didn’t the meat go to the dinner party? It was afraid of getting grilled!
  58. Why did the broccoli get a promotion? It went from a small stalk to head of the branch!
  59. Why did the cucumber need a lawyer? It was in a pickle!
  60. Why was the waffle stressed? It couldn’t handle the pressure of being a breakfast item and a dessert!
  61. Why don’t you ever argue with a hot pepper? You’ll get jalapeño face!
  62. Why did the mom bring a lollipop to the dinner? Because she wanted to have a sweet talk with her kids!
  63. What do you call a cat who eats a lot of lemons? A sour puss!
  64. What do you call an angle that loves to eat? A cute angle!
  65. What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk? Ketchup!
  66. Why did the baker stop making donuts? He was fed up with the hole thing!
  67. What did the potato say to the French fry? I’m your father!
  68. What is a computer’s favorite food? Bytes!
  69. Why do birds never get lost at dinner? Because they use tweet-navigation!
  70. Why don’t chefs find jokes funny? Because they’re seasoned professionals!
  71. What do you call a dinner roll that sings? A breadley Cooper!
  72. Why did the slice of bread go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby!
  73. What do you call a cat who ate too much spinach? A musclecat!
  74. Why did the bowl go to the party? It heard there would be punch!
  75. Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to be in a movie? It didn’t want to be a frankfurter-stein!
  76. Why was the tomato squashed? Because it couldn’t ketchup!
  77. What did one French fry say to the other? Nice to ketchup with you!
  78. What do you call a retired vegetable? A has-bean!
  79. What did the vegetable say at the dinner party? Peas be quiet!
  80. Why don’t bread talk at dinner? They are scared of becoming toast!
  81. Why was the strawberry late for dinner? It was stuck in a jam!
  82. What does garlic do when it gets hot? It takes its cloves off!
  83. What did the sweet potato say to the regular potato? I yam what I yam!
  84. Why was the onion crying? Because it got chopped!
  85. What does a chef call his son? Stew!
  86. Why did the doughnut visit the dentist? It needed a chocolate filling!
  87. Why did the salad go to the music studio? It wanted to get beet!
  88. What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grrrrains!
  89. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
  90. Why was the spaghetti the best actor? It always pasta its emotions on to the audience!
  91. What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato!
  92. Why did the chicken sit on an egg? It didn’t want to lay standing up!
  93. What did the spaghetti say to the macaroni? Don’t get saucy with me!
  94. Why was the carrot blushing? It saw the chickpea naked!
  95. What did one pickle say to the other at the dinner party? Dill with it!
  96. What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Halloumi!
  97. Why did the can of soup go to school? Because it wanted to be a smart soup!
  98. Why did the coffee bean start a fight with the espresso? Because it thought it was grounds for a duel!
  99. Why did the pancake go to baseball practice? It wanted to improve its batter!
  100. What did one dinner roll say to the other? Stop loafing around!
  101. Why don’t cakes ever get lost? Because they always leave a breadcrumb trail!
  102. What did the burger name its baby? Patty Jr!
  103. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
  104. What’s a spice girl’s favorite drink? Ginger Spice tea!
  105. Why was the corn arrested? It was accused of stalking!
  106. What did the bacon say to the tomato? Lettuce get together!
  107. Why did the grape never say anything bad about the prune? Because it didn’t want to raisin any issues!
  108. What’s a vegetable’s favorite martial art? Carrotee!
  109. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef!
  110. Why did the bread break up with the butter? It felt it was being spread too thin!
  111. What did the gingerbread man use to repair his house? Ic-ement!
  112. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine!
  113. Why did the salad go to the psychiatrist? It had mixed feelings!
  114. What do you call a bunch of dancing peas? A peas-ta!
  115. Why did the cannibal live alone? He was fed up with people!
  116. Why was the computer cold at dinner? It left its Windows open!
  117. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
  118. Why did the cheesecake go to the party? It heard there would be lots of cheese and crackers!
  119. What did the cook say to the naughty oven? You’re toast!
  120. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam!
  121. What do you call a nervous pea? A jitter-bean!
  122. What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple!
  123. Why don’t we ever invite beans to dinner? Because they spill the beans!
  124. What do you call a magical oven? David Bakeham!
  125. Why was the burrito a good listener? It was all ears…of corn!
  126. Why did the mushroom always get invited to dinner parties? Because he was a fungi to be with!
  127. What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso!
  128. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it was blushing!
  129. What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
  130. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side!
  131. What do you call an egg who likes to prank? An eggs-tra-terrestrial!
  132. Why don’t you ever want to share a meal with a clock? It’s too time consuming!
  133. What do you call a loaf of bread that has been waiting for hours? Bread and butter late than never!
  134. What do you call an academically successful fruit? A grad-fruit-ate!
  135. What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader Tots!
  136. Why did the banana go to the party? Because it was a-peeling!
  137. What do you call a fruit that breaks the law? A crimi-nal.
  138. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? Because it ran out of juice!
  139. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  140. Why did the strawberry call 911? It was in a jam!
  141. Why did the cucumber become a detective? It was good at pickling out the criminals!
  142. What do you call a religious potato? A holy chip!
  143. Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
  144. Why did the raisin go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t get a date!
  145. Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because his parents were in a jam!
  146. What do you call a pea with a thousand degrees? A thermopea!
  147. Why did the meat go to the music concert? Because it loved the beet!
  148. Why was the celery sent to jail? It stalked someone at dinner!
  149. What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce? Chicken sees-a-salad!
  150. Why did the bread loaf file a police report? It felt kneaded!

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