150 confused jokes

  1. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
  2. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
  3. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
  4. What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho Cheese!
  5. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  7. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
  8. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  9. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
  10. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  11. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
  12. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  13. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left!
  14. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  15. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  16. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  17. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  18. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings!
  19. Why didn’t the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees!
  20. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
  21. Why was the belt arrested? It was holding up a pair of pants!
  22. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
  23. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
  24. Why was the computer at the police station? It was processing information!
  25. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
  26. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  27. Why did the traffic light turn red? It saw the car coming!
  28. What do you call a cat that’s swallowed a duck? A duck-filled fatty puss!
  29. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
  30. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
  31. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  32. What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador!
  33. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  34. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse!
  35. Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake!
  36. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
  37. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  38. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack abs? An abdominal snowman!
  39. Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
  40. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  41. Why was the math book sad? Because of all its problems!
  42. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re scared they’ll hit the wrong key and be flat!
  43. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time!
  44. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
  45. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling very well!
  46. Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They could crack up!
  47. Why was the computer cold at the office? It left its Windows open!
  48. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  49. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  50. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny!
  51. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long!
  52. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  53. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up the pants!
  54. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
  55. Why don’t cannibals eat comedians? They taste funny!
  56. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
  57. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
  58. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
  59. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  60. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left!
  61. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  62. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
  63. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  64. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  65. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  66. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
  67. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
  68. What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador!
  69. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
  70. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  71. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They could crack up!
  72. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time!
  73. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  74. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack abs? An abdominal snowman!
  75. Why was the math book sad? Because of all its problems!
  76. Why was the computer cold at the office? It left its Windows open!
  77. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
  78. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  79. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re scared they’ll hit the wrong key and be flat!
  80. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
  81. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up the pants!
  82. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
  83. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
  84. Why did the man put his money in the blender? Because he wanted to make some liquid assets!
  85. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left!
  86. What do you call a dog86. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
  87. Why did the cookie go to therapy? It had crumbling self-esteem!
  88. Why was the math test so sad? It had too many problems!
  89. What do you call an anxious dinosaur? A nervous Rex!
  90. Why don’t pirates ever get lost? They always follow the “X”!
  91. Why did the lightbulb fail school? It wasn’t very bright!
  92. Why didn’t the computer take its medicine? It had a virus!
  93. What do you call a seagull that flies over a bay? A bagel!
  94. Why did the orange stop halfway up the hill? It ran out of juice!
  95. Why was the computer cold? It left its windows open!
  96. Why did the bird get a time out? It wouldn’t stop tweeting!
  97. Why did the musician get locked out of his own concert? He lost his keys!
  98. Why was the tomato red? It saw the salad dressing!
  99. What do you call a cat that’s a beauty influencer? A glamour puss!
  100. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
  101. Why was the math book stressed? It had too many problems!
  102. Why did the cheese go to the art exhibit? To get a little culture!
  103. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
  104. Why was the computer freezing? It left all its windows open!
  105. Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? They have no body to go with!
  106. Why was the onion crying? Because it was cutting itself!
  107. Why did the photo go to jail? Because it was framed!
  108. Why was the math book always worried? It had too many problems!
  109. What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look, no hands!
  110. Why was the computer so good at the game? It had the monitor!
  111. Why was the stadium hot after the game? All the fans left!
  112. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  113. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
  114. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long!
  115. Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing!
  116. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? It was two tired!
  117. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  118. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re scared they’ll hit the wrong key and be flat!
  119. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
  120. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  121. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up the pants!
  122. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  123. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
  124. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
  125. Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed!
  126. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  127. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  128. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
  129. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A king fish!
  130. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  131. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe!
  132. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!
  133. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
  134. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left!
  135. Why was the computer at the police station? It was processing information!
  136. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
  137. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
  138. What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
  139. Why didn’t the sun go to college? Because it already had a million degrees!
  140. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
  141. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  142. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
  143. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  144. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
  145. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
  146. Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings!
  147. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny!
  148. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
  149. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
  150. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

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