150 concrete jokes
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar.
- Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the bass keys.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
- Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They could crack up.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
- How do trees get on the internet? They log on.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants.
- What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack abs? An abdominal snowman.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-gi.
- Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
- Why was the math book upset? Because it had too many problems.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeno business.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
- Why can’t a bike stand up by itself? It’s two-tired.
- Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the bass keys.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants.
- How do trees get on the internet? They log on.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
- Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-gi.
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeno business.
- Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why can’t a bike stand up by itself? It’s two-tired.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
- How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
- Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They could crack up.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
- Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
- How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
- What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
- How does a scientist freshen their breath? With experi-mints.
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
- What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
- Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? They have no body to go with.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeno business.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
- Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-gi.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- How do trees get on the internet? They log on.
- Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the bass keys.
- Why can’t a bike stand up by itself? It’s two-tired.
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
- How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
- Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes? They could crack up.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeno business.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants.
- How do trees get on the internet? They log on.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
- Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
- Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fun-gi.
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeno business.
- Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Why can’t a bike stand up by itself? It’s two-tired.