150 classified document jokes
- Why did the classified document go to the party? Because it heard there was going to be some encryption.
- Why don’t secret documents make good comedians? Because their punchlines are always redacted.
- What did the classified document say to the spy? Nothing, it knew how to keep a secret.
- Why was the classified document a terrible tennis player? Because it couldn’t handle the net(work) security.
- How does a classified document propose? It gets down on one “knee” and says, “Will you cipher me?”
- Why was the classified document feeling blue? Because it got leaked.
- What does a classified document do at a restaurant? It orders the secret sauce.
- Why did the classified document get a ticket? It didn’t follow the protocols.
- Why did the classified document go to therapy? It had attachment issues.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite movie? Top Secret!
- Why was the classified document always alone at lunch? It had too many layers.
- What does a classified document wear to a wedding? A decryption ring.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite dance move? The Firewall Foxtrot.
- Why did the classified document go to school? It wanted to be a PDF – a Pretty Darned Fantastic student.
- Why couldn’t the classified document play hide and seek? Because the information always got leaked.
- What did the classified document say to the shredder? “Let’s split up.”
- How does a classified document say goodbye? “I’ll miss you when I’m gone. No really, I’ll be gone.”
- What does a classified document get for Christmas? A new cover story.
- Why did the classified document visit the doctor? It had a bad case of data corruption.
- How does a classified document start its day? With a coffee and a clear-cache.
- Why did the classified document go to the gym? To work on its security posture.
- Why was the classified document a great actor? Because it could always keep a straight face.
- What does a classified document do at the end of a date? It goes home and encrypts the night.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite drink? A secret on the rocks.
- Why was the classified document a terrible driver? It always took the covert route.
- How does a classified document play poker? It always keeps its cards encrypted.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite dish? Covert-ible lasagna.
- How does a classified document go on vacation? Incognito mode.
- What does a classified document do in the winter? It layers up.
- Why did the classified document start a blog? To express its inner thoughts, anonymously.
- Why does a classified document make a bad pet? Because it can’t fetch.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite song? “I Will Always Encrypt You.”
- Why does a classified document not believe in love at first sight? It needs verification.
- Why was the classified document always the last one picked in dodgeball? It could never dodge the attackers.
- How does a classified document do its hair? In secret curls.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite instrument? The encryption key-board.
- Why don’t classified documents do well in school? They always cheat-sheet.
- How does a classified document celebrate its birthday? With a surprise party – nobody knows when it’s coming.
- What does a classified document call a bad joke? A public key.
- How does a classified document cheer up a friend? It says, “Things will get decrypted.”
- What’s a classified document’s favorite game? Hide and leak.
- Why did the classified document go to the spa? For a data detox.
- What did the classified document wear to the beach? An incognito swimsuit.
- How does a classified document like its steak? Well-done and untraceable.
- Why did the classified document become a politician? Because it mastered the art of keeping secrets.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite sport? The 100-meter dash, as long as it’s not traced.
- Why don’t classified documents like karaoke? They’re afraid of leaks.
- Why was the classified document a bad gardener? Because its plants were always being uprooted.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite form of transportation? The underground train.
- How does a classified document get ready for bed? It takes off its layers.
- Why was the classified document sad at the park? It couldn’t go down the slide(deck).
- How does a classified document take its coffee? Black, no trace of milk or sugar.
- What does a classified document read before bedtime? Spy-time stories.
- Why was the classified document a terrible chef? Its recipes were always too cryptic.
- Why was the classified document a bad roommate? It wouldn’t share the Wi-Fi password.
- How does a classified document get in shape? It runs on a private track.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite dessert? Anonymous Apple Pie.
- What does a classified document do when it retires? It declassifies itself.
- Why did the classified document refuse to play baseball? It was afraid of home runs, they’re too traceable.
- What does a classified document call a sunny day? A good time to burn some files.
- Why did the classified document never make it to Hollywood? It failed the screen test.
- How does a classified document write a love letter? In code, of course.
- Why was the classified document a terrible comedian? Because all its jokes were inside jobs.
- Why did the classified document break up with its girlfriend? She had too many public keys.
- How does a classified document go shopping? It always pays with crypt-o-currency.
- Why was the classified document always quiet? It never liked to spill the beans.
- How does a classified document keep its house clean? With a top-secret vacuum cleaner.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite hobby? Undercover knitting.
- What kind of car does a classified document drive? A stealth bomber.
- Why was the classified document never lonely? It always had an inner circle.
- Why did the classified document start a band? It wanted to go on a covert tour.
- Why was the classified document a terrible goalkeeper? It always let information slip through.
- How does a classified document order a pizza? Under the code name “Pepperoni.”
- Why did the classified document start a business? It saw an opportunity in the black market.
- How does a classified document take a selfie? With a camouflaged camera.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite part of the day? The covert of night.
- Why was the classified document always on time? It never disclosed its schedule.
- What does a classified document eat for breakfast? Scrambled code.
- Why did the classified document go to the art class? It wanted to learn how to sketch secretly.
- Why did the classified document join a choir? It loved singing in cipher.
- Why was the classified document a great chess player? Because its moves were always unpredictable.
- How does aclassified document make a salad? With undercover veggies.
- Why did the classified document have so many friends? It knew how to keep a secret.
- Why was the classified document terrible at poker? It had a terrible poker face.
- Why did the classified document get a job in advertising? It had a knack for hidden messages.
- How does a classified document throw a surprise party? By keeping the guest list encrypted.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Covert Caramel.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite type of music? Something with a lot of ciphers.
- Why did the classified document get a speeding ticket? It was going too fast for anyone to catch its details.
- Why did the classified document flunk out of school? Its notes were always encoded.
- Why was the classified document a great magician? It never revealed its tricks.
- What does a classified document wear to a fancy event? A disguise.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite type of literature? Spy novels.
- Why was the classified document a terrible lifeguard? It always kept its rescue methods confidential.
- What does a classified document do on a rainy day? It stays undercover.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite fruit? Incognito-berries.
- How does a classified document ask someone out on a date? “Would you like to go for a covert coffee?”
- Why was the classified document always winning at chess? It never revealed its strategy.
- How does a classified document pass the time? By doing crosswords in code.
- Why did the classified document have a big ego? It always thought it was top-secret.
- Why was the classified document a great detective? It always kept its findings under wraps.
- What does a classified document do at a football game? It cheers quietly from the sidelines.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite color? Blackout.
- What did the classified document say to the chalkboard? “I’m more secretive than you.”
- Why did the classified document get promoted? It had its boss’ trust.
- How does a classified document deal with rejection? It encrypts its feelings.
- Why did the classified document start a YouTube channel? It wanted to share encrypted cat videos.
- How does a classified document do its laundry? In cold water, so it doesn’t spill any ink.
- Why did the classified document get a job at the library? It loved being around other papers.
- Why was the classified document bad at basketball? It couldn’t shoot without being noticed.
- How does a classified document get over a breakup? It moves to a new folder.
- Why was the classified document always calm? It knew how to keep its cool.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite board game? Cluedo, but only the confidential version.
- Why was the classified document bad at hide-and-seek? It was always found in the top drawer.
- How does a classified document celebrate its anniversary? With a surprise trip to an undisclosed location.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite TV show? “Undercover Boss.”
- Why was the classified document always chosen for the team? It was great at keeping strategies a secret.
- Why did the classified document visit the dentist? It had a sensitive file.
- How does a classified document handle stress? By deleting some data.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite beverage? Stealthy Tea.
- How does a classified document flirt? By passing secret notes.
- Why did the classified document start a bakery? To make undercover cupcakes.
- Why did the classified document go on a diet? It wanted to lose some hidden layers.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite type of exercise? Stealthy yoga.
- How does a classified document react to a bad day? By reencrypting its thoughts.
- What did the classified document say to the pen? “You’ve been the highlight of my day.”
- What’s a classified document’s favorite place to visit? The secret garden.
- Why did the classified document refuse to use a calculator? It didn’t want to show its workings.
- How does a classified document enjoy a sunny day? It sunbathes in a hidden spot.
- Why was the classified document good at solving mysteries? It always read between the lines.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite animal? The undercover agent – ant.
- Why did the classified document prefer to walk alone? It didn’t want to leave footprints.
- What does a classified document do when it’s bored? It deciphers crossword puzzles.
- Why was the classified document a bad dancer? It had two left feet, but they were encrypted.
- How does a classified document spend its weekends? By having secret getaways.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite constellation? The Big Cipher.
- Why did the classified document start gardening? It wanted to plant some cryptic clues.
- How does a classified document pay its bills? Via anonymous bank transfer.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite type of math? Cryptography.
- Why did the classified document start an art club? It wanted to draw in secret.
- How does a classified document make new friends? By sharing encrypted jokes.
- Why was the classified document a bad babysitter? It kept playing hide and seek and was too good at it.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite pastime? Undercover fishing.
- Why did the classified document start a cooking show? It wanted to share its secret recipes.
- How does a classified document travel? With a private jet.
- What’s a classified document’s favorite bird? The secret-ary bird.
- Why did the classified document get a pet? To have a companion in its covert operations.
- How does a classified document play the lottery? With secret numbers.
- Why was the classified document always winning at cards? It never showed its hand.
- How does a classified document end a joke? “If I tell you the punchline, I’d have to shred you.”