150 chemical engineering jokes

Why did the chemical engineer go broke? Because he had no solutions.
Why don’t chemical engineers trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a chemical engineer who’s always on the move? A kinetic engineer.
Why did the chemical engineer refuse to date the bioengineer? Too much organic chemistry.
What did the chemical engineer say when he found two isotopes of helium? HeHe.
Why did the chemical engineer get kicked out of the library? He brought in too many mole-cules.
Why did the chemical engineer become a baker? Because he loved the “knead” for reactions.
What did the thermodynamics law say to the chemical engineer? You can’t pass me!
How did the chemical engineer propose to his girlfriend? With a ring of Benzene.
Why was the chemical engineer always calm during experiments? Because he knew pressure creates diamonds.
What did the chemical engineer do when his experiment went wrong? He tried to “stir” things in the right direction.
Why are chemical engineers great for solving problems? Because they have all the “elements” for it.
Why did the chemical engineer go to the concert? He heard there was a great “mixer.”
Why did the chemical engineer become a gardener? He had a green thumb for photosynthesis.
What did the chemical engineer say when he found a new element? “That’s Au-some!”
How does a chemical engineer spice up their life? By adding some NaCl.
Why did the chemical engineer carry around a pencil? Because he always wanted to “draw” a reaction.
What do chemical engineers call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why was the chemical engineer good at basketball? He always hit the solution right on the “concentration.”
How does a chemical engineer break up with their significant other? They say, “It’s not you, it’s me… and the irreversible reactions.”
Why did the chemical engineer go to therapy? He had separation anxiety.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good “mix.”
Why was the chemical engineer a good actor? Because he was always in his element.
What did the chemical engineer say at the party? “Let’s stir things up!”
Why did the chemical engineer become a bartender? He had a good handle on mixtures.
What did the chemical engineer bring to the potluck? A homogeneous mixture.
Why did the chemical engineer get arrested? He was caught trying to break the laws of thermodynamics.
Why did the chemical engineer cross the road? To increase his displacement.
How does a chemical engineer make a dog? With a bark reactor.
Why was the chemical engineer bad at hide and seek? Because he always reacted.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite piece of clothing? A lab coat, of course.
Why did the chemical engineer refuse to play poker with the jungle cat? He suspected it was a cheetah (CH3-etha).
Why are chemical engineers bad storytellers? Their stories are always too formulaic.
How do chemical engineers learn about new elements? They periodically check.
Why did the chemical engineer get kicked off the cooking show? He called all the recipes “procedures.”
Why was the chemical engineer not afraid of the horror movie? Because he knew all the “elements” of suspense.
What do you call a flirtatious chemical engineer? A natural catalyst.
Why did the chemical engineer start a band? He wanted to release some energy.
Why did the chemical engineer invest in the oil industry? He thought it was a fluid situation.
What do you call a chemical engineer with earbuds in? An iPodic table.
How do chemical engineers break the ice at parties? With a phase change.
Why did the chemical engineer become a police officer? He was good at cracking cases and chemical bonds.
How do chemical engineers apologize? They say “Sorry, that was a bad reaction.”
Why do chemical engineers make great friends? They know the composition of a good relationship.
Why did the chemical engineer become a politician? He was good at balancing equations and budgets.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite snack? Anything “natural” and “organic.”
Why was the chemical engineer a good DJ? Because he could “drop the base.”
Why do chemical engineers make great detectives? They know how to trace elements.
What did the chemical engineer say to his coffee? “You’re just my type: hot and full of energy.”
How do chemical engineers flirt? They say, “Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you are Cu-Te.”
Why did the chemical engineer visit the Grand Canyon? He was studying erosion rates.
Why did the chemical engineer join the gym? To work on his mass transfer.
Why did the chemical engineer get in trouble at the casino? He was caught counting “cards” in the periodic table.
How did the chemical engineer solve his Rubik’s cube? By organizing elements in the correct sequence.
Why do chemical engineers love to travel? They always want to “mix” it up.
Why did the chemical engineer join the choir? He wanted to find his “natural frequency.”
Why did the chemical engineer lose the marathon? His pace wasn’t steady-state.
Why did the chemical engineer go to the beach? He wanted to study wave-particle duality.
Why did the chemical engineer become a ventriloquist? He loved talking about polymers and poly-voices.
Why did the chemical engineer always win at chess? He was great at strategizing his “moves” and his molecules.
What did the chemical engineer name his dog? Mole.
Why was the chemical engineer always happy? He knew the formula for happiness was a balanced equation.
Why did the chemical engineer become a filmmaker? He loved “action” and reaction.
What did the chemical engineer do when he was bored? He went to the lab to “mix” things up.
How does a chemical engineer propose a toast? “Here’s to good solutions!”
Why did the chemical engineer love to shop? He was always looking for good “compounds.”
Why did the chemical engineer enjoy yoga? It helped him to stay “flexible” in his theories.
Why did the chemical engineer become a geologist? He had a “solid” understanding of minerals.
Why did the chemical engineer love to cook? Because every recipe is like a chemical equation.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite dance move? The periodic shuffle.
Why did the chemical engineer love Halloween? Because it’s the only day he could be “Freon.”
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite type of dog? A lab-rador!
Why did the chemical engineer love to fish? He was great at finding solutions.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite workout? The atomic crunch.
What does a chemical engineer do when he’s hot? He uses his internal cooling mechanism, also known as “sweat.”
Why did the chemical engineer love reading mystery novels? He enjoyed the suspense of not knowing the solution.
Why was the chemical engineer a good comedian? His jokes had a lot of “elements.”
What did the chemical engineer say at his retirement party? “I’ve had a “reaction”ary career!”
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite type of tree? A “Chemistree.”
Why did the chemical engineer learn French? He wanted to say “Au Revoir” to the gold standards.
Why did the chemical engineer go to the art gallery? He was analyzing the composition of the paintings.
Why did the chemical engineer become an astronaut? He wanted to study the elements in space.
How does a chemical engineer comfort a friend? He says, “Everything will be all right, just let it settle out.”
Why was the chemical engineer a good swimmer? He understood the fluid dynamics.
Why did the chemical engineer love to sail? He loved the open “See” (C).
How does a chemical engineer get ready for a date? He uses the right combination of elements.
Why did the chemical engineer become a teacher? He knew how to mix the right elements for a great class.
What does a chemical engineer do during his free time? He bonds with his family.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite vacation spot? The Great Barrier “Reef” (Re).
Why did the chemical engineer win the poker game? He had all the right elements in his hand.
Why did the chemical engineer love Thanksgiving? He loved to “gobble” (Ga) up the turkey.
Why did the chemical engineer become a weather forecaster? He was good at predicting the conditions for a storm.
Why did the chemical engineer start a gardening blog? He wanted to discuss the chemistry of plants.
Why did the chemical engineer become a pirate? He was after the “Au.”
Why did the chemical engineer get a job at the zoo? He wanted to study the biochemistry of animals.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite type of bird? A “Gallium” (Ga) gull.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite exercise? The chemical reaction.
Why did the chemical engineer love to rock climb? He enjoyed the physics of ascent.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite type of flower? The “Rose” (Ro) of course.
Why did the chemical engineer start a vlog? He wanted to show that chemical engineers are more than just lab coats and goggles.
Why did the chemical engineer bring a compass to the lab? He wanted to find the “magnetic” personality of the elements.
Why did the chemical engineer love roller coasters? He found the speed and height variables exhilarating.
Why did the chemical engineer join a rock band? He loved to play the “lead” (Pb) guitar.
Why did the chemical engineer love camping? He liked studying combustion reactions around the campfire.
Why did the chemical engineer become a photographer? He was interested in the chemistry of developing photos.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite sport? “Rugby” (Rg).
Why did the chemical engineer love baking cookies? He liked observing the Maillard reaction.
Why did the chemical engineer become a journalist? He was always interested in the “matter” at hand.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite dessert? A “berry” (Beryllium – Be) pie.
Why did the chemical engineer become a movie director? He loved to “action” and “cut” the scenes.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite part of a house? The “living” (Lv) room.
Why did the chemical engineer join the circus? He wanted to calculate the trajectory of the trapeze artists.
Why did the chemical engineer become a magician? He loved creating illusions and reactions.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite animal? A “mole” of course.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite drink? H2O on the rocks.
Why did the chemical engineer love skydiving? He enjoyed calculating the terminal velocity.
Why did the chemical engineer love playing chess? He found it similar to balancing chemical equations.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite superhero? Iron (Fe) Man.
Why did the chemical engineer start a podcast? He wanted to voice the reactions of his peers.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite book? The “Molecular” Mockingbird.
Why did the chemical engineer become a fashion designer? He had a good sense of style and the chemistry of fabrics.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite time of day? The twilight “zone” (Zn).
Why did the chemical engineer love hiking? He enjoyed the constant change in pressure and altitude.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite board game? “Catan” (Ca-Tn).
Why did the chemical engineer love snowboarding? He liked studying the friction between the board and the snow.
Why did the chemical engineer become a stand-up comedian? He was always good at making “reactionary” jokes.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite constellation? The “Big Dipper” (Bd).
Why did the chemical engineer love playing video games? He enjoyed optimizing his performance based on different variables.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite holiday? “Christmas” (Cr-Ms).
Why did the chemical engineer become a rapper? He loved the chemistry of words and beats.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite planet? “Mars” (Md-Ar-S).
Why did the chemical engineer become a race car driver? He loved the thrill of speed and the smell of burnt rubber.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite musical instrument? The “Piano” (Pa-I-O).
Why did the chemical engineer become a sommelier? He was interested in the chemistry of wine.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite pasta? “Spaghetti” (S-P-Ag-Te).
Why did the chemical engineer love bird watching? He enjoyed studying the physics of flight.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite dance? The “Cha-Cha” (C-Ca).
Why did the chemical engineer love bungee jumping? He was interested in the potential and kinetic energy transfer.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite part of a meal? The “Appetizer” (Ap-Pt-Zr).
Why did the chemical engineer become a soccer coach? He knew the chemistry of team dynamics.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite type of music? “Rock” (Ro-C-K).
Why did the chemical engineer become a cartoonist? He loved illustrating the funny side of science.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite candy? “Snickers” (Sn-I-C-K-Er-S).
Why did the chemical engineer love scuba diving? He enjoyed exploring the underwater pressure dynamics.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite car? The “Tesla” (Te-S-La).
Why did the chemical engineer love yoga? He found the body’s biochemistry fascinating during different poses.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite type of tea? “Green” (G-Re-E-N) tea.
Why did the chemical engineer love stargazing? He loved studying the elements present in different celestial bodies.
What’s a chemical engineer’s favorite movie? “Titanic” (Ti-At-N-I-C).
Why did the chemical engineer become a philosopher? He was always pondering the elements of existence.

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