150 super bowl dad jokes

  1. Why don’t football players go to the bakery? Because they’re afraid of turnovers.
  2. What do you call a running back who always takes the stairs? A-step-up-back!
  3. Why was the football coach shaking the vending machine? He needed a quarterback!
  4. How does a football player propose to his girlfriend? With a Super Bowl ring!
  5. Why don’t football players play hide and seek? Because wherever they go, they get tackled.
  6. What did the football say to the punter? “I get a kick out of you.”
  7. What do you call a lineman’s kids? Chip off the old blocker.
  8. How are dad’s bad jokes and a poor football team similar? They both can’t make a pass.
  9. Why don’t football players ever ride a bike? They lost their training wheels.
  10. Why did the linebacker go to the bakery? Because he kneaded the dough.
  11. Why did the wide receiver bring string to the game? Just in case he needed to tie the score.
  12. What do you call a football player who catches fish? A wide retriever.
  13. What do football players do when they lose their eyesight? They become referees.
  14. Why don’t some football players have websites? They can’t string three “W’s” together.
  15. Why was the math book good at football? It had all the angles covered.
  16. What do you call a big football player at a Super Bowl party? A Tight-End.
  17. What do football players wear on Halloween? Face masks!
  18. Why was the football getting a massage? It had a hard kickoff.
  19. Why was the football player a great dancer? He had all the right moves.
  20. Why did the tomato turn red at the Super Bowl party? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  21. Why don’t soccer players do well at Super Bowl parties? They always kick the bucket.
  22. What do football players and magicians have in common? They both do hat tricks.
  23. What do you call a football player who always takes charge? A team leader.
  24. Why don’t ghosts win at Super Bowl? They have no body to play with.
  25. What’s the difference between a football player and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  26. Why did the scarecrow become a football player? He was outstanding in his field.
  27. Why did the football player go broke? Because he always gave away his two cents.
  28. Why are football stadiums always cool? They’re full of fans.
  29. Why did the football team go to the bakery? To get a good roll going.
  30. What do you call a football team that just ate dessert? Sweet sixteen.
  31. Why did the chicken get ejected from the Super Bowl game? For unnecessary pecking.
  32. Why do football players like smart girls? They know when to play it by the ear.
  33. Why do football fields never get hot? They have lots of fans.
  34. What do you call a caveman who played football? A Neander-ball player.
  35. Why was the computer cold at the Super Bowl? It left its Windows open.
  36. How are carpenters like football players? They both nail it.
  37. Why did the football team go to the ice cream shop? To get extra scoops.
  38. What did the football player say to the flight attendant? “I’m used to fasten my own belt.”
  39. What do you call a belt made out of watches worn by a football player? A waist of time.
  40. What do football players add to their hot dogs? Penalties.
  41. Why was the football team bad at playing cards? They can’t hold onto the clubs.
  42. What do you call a football player with a pink parrot? A flamingo receiver.
  43. Why are football players bad at playing hide and seek? They always fumble in the dark.
  44. Why did the football player sit on the clock? He wanted to run out the time.
  45. Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to reach new heights.
  46. Why did the football coach go to the restaurant? He heard there was a good catch.
  47. How does a football player stay cool during a game? By standing near the fans.
  48. Why don’t football players use maps? Because they can always find the end zone.
  49. What does a football player do when he needs to tie his shoe? He calls a time-out.
  50. Why do football players not need to study for a test? They’re good at tackling questions.
  51. Why was the football field flooded? Because the players brought their own drip.
  52. Why did the football player like puns? Because they’re a play on words.
  53. Why did the football player bring a paintbrush to the game? Because he wanted to draw a play.
  54. Why did the football player go to school? He heard he would be taught how to tackle.
  55. Why do football players never get locked out of their house? They always carry a spare key play.
  56. Why did the football player bring a boat to the game? He wanted to make a splash play.
  57. Why do football players always know where the sun is? They keep track of the field’s sun position.
  58. What do you call a cat that can catch a football? A paws receiver.
  59. Why did the football player go to the bank? He wanted to make a deposit in the end zone.
  60. Why did the football coach go to the tea shop? He needed to pick up some loose leaves.
  61. Why do football players like Swiss cheese? Because it’s good for de-brie-fing.
  62. Why did the football player get a job at a bakery? He could really knead the dough.
  63. What do you call a football player who won’t stop talking? An audible blabber.
  64. Why do football players hate playing against jungle cats? Too many lion penalties.
  65. Why did the football player like to eat before the game? He wanted to start off on the right bite.
  66. Why was the football coach upset with the vending machine? He wanted his quarterback.
  67. Why do football players like donuts? They can’t resist the hole in one.
  68. Why did the football player go to the art museum? He wanted to gain some extra culture yards.
  69. Why did the football player like to go shopping after a game? He heard there was a good turnover.
  70. Why don’t football players like fast food? They prefer a slow cook-off.
  71. Why did the football player bring a pencil to the game? He wanted to draw first blood.
  72. Why did the football coach bring a ladder to the game? He wanted his team to step up.
  73. Why do football players never skip dessert? They always go for the extra point.
  74. Why did the football player become a gardener? He likes to get his hands in the dirt.
  75. Why did the football player bring a flashlight to the game? He wanted to shine in the spotlight.
  76. Why was the football coach always calm during the game? He knew the drill.
  77. Why don’t football players have good table manners? They always go for seconds.
  78. Why dofootball players bring a compass to the game? They don’t want to lose direction.
  79. Why did the football player become a chef? He liked to mix things up.
  80. Why did the football player visit the chiropractor? He had a bad back-field.
  81. What does a football player do after winning the Super Bowl? Bowl-leaves it!
  82. Why do football players love energy drinks? They need to keep their charge.
  83. What do football players drink at the Super Bowl party? Punt-ches!
  84. Why are football games never played in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  85. Why did the football player always carry an umbrella? Just in case there was a rain delay.
  86. Why did the football player go to the theater? He wanted to catch a play.
  87. Why did the football player go to the party? He heard it was a ball.
  88. Why do football players make terrible secretaries? They’re always losing their notes.
  89. Why did the football player always carry a pencil? He wanted to draw a play.
  90. Why did the football player bring a tennis ball to the game? He thought it was a handball.
  91. Why did the football player go to the beach? He wanted to practice his dives.
  92. Why did the football player go to the circus? He wanted to join the big leagues.
  93. What’s a football player’s favorite kind of music? Hip Hop-scotch!
  94. Why did the football player bring a watch to the game? He wanted to have good timing.
  95. Why did the football player put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
  96. Why don’t football players ever get tired? They always get plenty of sack time.
  97. Why did the football player bring a horse to the game? He wanted to ride to victory.
  98. What do you call a football player who bakes? A dough-linebacker.
  99. Why did the football player bring a balloon to the game? He wanted to blow up the competition.
  100. Why do football players never have to renew their contracts? They always get their renewals on the first down.
  101. Why did the football player bring a monkey to the game? He wanted a good swing.
  102. Why did the football player go to the pet store? He wanted a good catch.
  103. Why did the football player bring a rabbit to the game? He wanted to have a hoppy ending.
  104. Why did the football player bring a rope to the game? He wanted to have a tight finish.
  105. Why did the football player go to the zoo? He wanted to pick up some wild plays.
  106. What do you call a football player who tells jokes? A pun-ter.
  107. Why did the football player bring a mirror to the game? He wanted to reflect on his performance.
  108. Why did the football player bring a garden gnome to the game? He wanted to have a solid defense.
  109. Why did the football player go to the casino? He wanted to hit the jackpot.
  110. Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? He wanted to take his performance to the next level.
  111. What do you call a football player who practices yoga? A flexible receiver.
  112. Why did the football player bring a bandage to the game? He wanted to cover all the wounds.
  113. Why did the football player bring a dog to the game? He wanted to have a good fetch.
  114. Why did the football player go to the grocery store? He wanted to pick up some fresh moves.
  115. Why did the football player go to the park? He wanted to have a fun run.
  116. Why did the football player bring a stopwatch to the game? He wanted to time his sprints.
  117. What do you call a football player who likes gardening? A plant manager.
  118. Why did the football player go to the farm? He wanted to pick up some fresh plays.
  119. Why did the football player bring a sandwich to the game? He wanted to have a good bite.
  120. Why did the football player go to the library? He wanted to check out some new strategies.
  121. Why did the football player bring a broom to the game? He wanted to sweep the competition.
  122. Why did the football player bring a calculator to the game? He wanted to add to the score.
  123. Why did the football player go to the supermarket? He wanted to pick up some good deals.
  124. Why did the football player bring a compass to the game? He didn’t want to lose his bearings.
  125. Why did the football player go to the construction site? He wanted to work on his drill.
  126. Why did the football player bring a bucket to the game? He wanted to carry the load.
  127. Why did the football player go to the mechanic? He wanted to work on his drive.
  128. Why did the football player bring a guitar to the game? He wanted to pick up the tempo.
  129. Why did the football player bring a calendar to the game? He wanted to date his victory.
  130. Why did the football player go to the museum? He wanted to see some fine art-ificial turf.
  131. Why did the football player bring a radio to the game? He wanted to tune in to the win.
  132. Why did the football player bring a book to the game? He wanted to read the defense.
  133. Why did the football player go to the ocean? He wanted to test his depth.
  134. Why did the football player bring a camera to the game? He wanted to capture the win.
  135. Why did the football player go to the airport? He wanted to take off with the win.
  136. Why did the football player bring a blanket to the game? He wanted to cover all bases.
  137. Why did the football player go to the car dealership? He wanted to trade up.
  138. Why did the football player bring a hammer to the game? He wanted to nail the victory.
  139. Why did the football player go to the coffee shop? He wanted to pick up some strong moves.
  140. Why did the football player bring a light bulb to the game? He wanted to light up the scoreboard.
  141. Why did the football player go to the barbershop? He wanted to cut through the defense.
  142. Why did the football player bring a duck to the game? He wanted to have a quack at the win.
  143. Why did the football player go to the shoe store? He wanted to kick up his game.
  144. Why did the football player bring a notebook to the game? He wanted to write his own success story.
  145. Why did the football player go to the dance studio? He wanted to learn some slick moves.
  146. Why did the football player bring a teddy bear to the game? He wanted to have a soft landing.
  147. Why did the football player go to the music store? He wanted to hit the right notes.
  148. Why did the football player bring a bat to the game? He wanted to hit a home run.
  149. Why did the football player go to the movie theater? He wanted to see a blockbuster performance.
  150. Why did the football player bring a box to the game? He wanted to think outside of it.

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