57+ squid jokes

Why don’t squids go to school? Because they’re already in the “ink” crowd.
Why did the squid cross the road? To get to the other tide.
Why are squids so good at basketball? Because they always make a splash.
Why do squids never get lost? Because they always follow the current.
Why was the squid so popular? Because it was a sucker for a good time.
Why did the squid go to the party? To have a whale of a time!
Why don’t squids share? They’re shellfish.
How do squids make their beds? With a waterbed.
Why did the squid blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
Why was the squid great at poker? It was excellent at bluffing and not showing any mussels.
What did the squid say to the shark? “I’ve got my eye on you!”
What’s a squid’s favorite exercise? Squid-lifts.
Why are squids such good boxers? Because they have the best hooks.
Why did the squid go into politics? It heard it was a swim or sink job.
What did the squid use to fix its house? A hammerhead and nails.
What do you call a squid who can play the piano? Talon-ted.
Why do squids always know the gossip? Because they have their ears to the ocean floor.
Why did the squid never fight with its friends? Because it didn’t want to krill the vibe.
Why did the squid wear a crown? Because it was the king of the sea.
Why was the squid always tired? Because it was always feeling “drained.”
What do you call a squid with a tie? Squid-biz.
Why did the squid never lose at hide and seek? Because it was a master of disguise.
How do squids like their eggs? Poach-ed.
What do squids use to sweeten their coffee? Sand sugar.
What do squids use to write love letters? Their inky feelings.
What’s a squid’s favorite TV show? “Inkredible Adventures.”
What do squids say when they make a mistake? “Oh, ship!”
How did the squid stop smoking? It used the “patch.”
What do you call a squid that likes to garden? A “squid-dener.”
Why do squids never get into arguments? They hate heated waters.
What do squids call their grandparents? “Old-timers.”
Why was the squid a great musician? Because it had perfect pitch and tone-a.
What’s a squid’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good bass.
How does a squid apologize? It squirts out its feelings.
Why do squids make terrible secret keepers? They spill the “ink.”
Why did the squid go to therapy? It felt a bit “salty.”
What do you call a squid that likes to bake? A breaded squid.
Why are squids never late? They swim against the clock.
Why do squids make great detectives? They always follow the current events.
Why did the squid start a business? It wanted to make a splash in the market.
What’s a squid’s favorite card game? Go Fish.
Why are squids so flexible? They never crack under pressure.
Why did the squid take the job at the sandcastle? It was building a career.
Why did the squid go to the BBQ? It heard there was a lot of grilling going on.
Why do squids never get tired of puns? They have an inkling for them.
What do squids wear to weddings? Bowties and tentaclothes.
Why did the squid go to the dentist? It had a tooth-ache.
Why do squids never get bored? There’s always a wave of activities to do.
Why do squids make good salespeople? They’re great at sealing the deal.
Why don’t squids like fast food? They can’t stand anything deep-fried.
What do you call a squid that can dance? A cuttle-shuffle.
Why did the squid go to the opera? It had a passion for high seas.
What do squids use to stick things together? Glue-pus.
How do squids stay fit? They swim laps around the ocean.
Why do squids make great comedians? They always kraken you up.
Why did the squid visit the art museum? It wanted to see the Monet paintings.
Why do squids never go on a diet? They like their seaweed too much.
What’s a squid’s favorite pastime? Doing a squid-oodle of crossword puzzles.
What’s a squid’s favorite type of sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish.
Why did the squid join the gym? To feel a little less squidgy.
How do squids celebrate their birthdays? They throw a whale of a party.
Why did the squid become a writer? It had a way with words.
What do squids do on a snow day? They have a blast at the squidoo park.
Why was the squid a great student? It was good at squid-estimating.
Why did the squid get into fashion? It had a flair for style.
Why did the squid get a haircut? It was tired of the same old style.
Why did the squid join a band? It had an inkling for music.
Why do squids make great bankers? They always have their arms around money.
How do squids cut their grass? With a lawnmower fish.
Why did the squid join a book club? To broaden its horizons.
How do squids ask for a date? “Would you like to sea me sometime?”
Why was the squid never lonely? It always had its school of friends.
What’s a squid’s favorite fruit? A watermelon.
Why did the squid visit the moon? It was tired of the ocean’s current.
How do squids make a decision? They weigh their options.
Why are squids good at math? They know all the angles.
Why do squids make great tennis players? They have a good swing.
What did the squid wear to the prom? A seashell necklace.
Why are squids good at chess? They’re always thinking several moves ahead.
Why did the squid go to college? To get a degree in Marine Biology.
Why do squids make good actors? They’re great at playing different roles.
What do squids say when they’re surprised? “Well, blow me down!”
Why do squids never complain about the cold? They have thick skin.
Why did the squid start a blog? To share its life under the sea.
What’s a squid’s favorite candy? Salt water taffy.
Why do squids make good artists? They’re great at drawing in the sand.
What do squids say when they’re confused? “I’m at sea.”
How do squids tell time? With a sand clock.
Why did the squid start a bakery? It had a passion for baking.
What do squids do at a job interview? They ink-press.
Why do squids never forget anything? They have a good memory.
How do squids like their tea? Seeped.
What do squids do when they’re scared? They clam up.
Why did the squid join the navy? It wanted to serve its country.
Why did the squid go to the hospital? It had a bad case of sea sickness.
Why do squids always carry a map? They don’t want to get lost at sea.
What do squids do on a lazy day? They chill on the ocean floor.
How do squids greet each other? “Hey, water you doing?”
Why are squids always calm? They don’t let anything get under their skin.
Why do squids make good doctors? They always stay cool under pressure.
What do squids say when they’re done with work? “That’s a wrap!”
How do squids keep their skin soft? They use seaweed lotion.
Why did the squid become a chef? It was a whiz at seafood.
Why do squids never get lost? They always follow the seaweed road.
Why did the squid open a restaurant? It had a knack for cooking.
What do squids use to dry off? A beach towel.
How do squids like their drinks? On the rocks.
Why do squids love the beach? They like to soak up the sun.
Why are squids always trendy? They keep up with the current fashion.
Why did the squid join a choir? It had a lovely voice.
What’s a squid’s favorite type of movie? Anything with a good twist.
How do squids handle stress? They take a deep breath and dive in.
Why did the squid become a gardener? It had a green tentacle.
What’s a squid’s favorite season? Summer, because it’s always beach time.
Why did the squid become a journalist? It had a passion for stories.
Why did the squid go to the spa? It needed some “me” time.
How do squids spend their weekends? They hang out with their friends.
Why did the squid become a coach? It had a knack for leadership.
What’s a squid’s favorite dessert? Ice cream.
How do squids handle disagreements? They talk it out.
Why did the squid become a dancer? It had a flair for movement.
Why do squids make great poets? They have a way with words.
What do squids do when they’re sad? They cry sea salt.
Why did the squid go to the movies? It wanted to see the latest flick.
What do squids do in their free time? They paint.
Why did the squid become a teacher? It had a passion for education.
Why are squids always smiling? They have a positive outlook.
How do squids handle problems? They tackle them head-on.
Why did the squid go to a comedy show? It needed a good laugh.
Why did the squid become a librarian? It loved books.
What’s a squid’s favorite type of game? Anything with a good challenge.
Why did the squid become a psychologist? It wanted to help others.
What do squids do when they’re happy? They jump for joy.
Why did the squid join a band? It loved music.
How do squids celebrate accomplishments? They throw a party.
Why did the squid become a lawyer? It wanted to uphold the law.
What’s a squid’s favorite type of food? Seafood.
Why do squids make great friends? They’re always there for you.
Why did the squid become a builder? It liked creating things.
What do squids do on a hot day? They relax by the beach.
Why did the squid become a director? It loved movies.
Why are squids good at solving problems? They’re great thinkers.
How do squids like their coffee? With a splash of milk.
Why did the squid become an actor? It loved the spotlight.
Why are squids always learning? They have a thirst for knowledge.
Why did the squid become an engineer? It liked solving problems.
What’s a squid’s favorite book? Anything with a good mystery.
Why did the squid become a singer? It had a beautiful voice.
How do squids like their salad? With a splash of dressing.
Why did the squid become a tour guide? It loved showing others around.

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