143 seattle jokes

  1. Why don’t people in Seattle trust the clouds? Because they’re always raining on their parade.
  2. Why did the Seattle hipster burn his mouth? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.
  3. What do you call an introverted person in Seattle? A Rain-drovert.
  4. Why did the scarecrow move to Seattle? Because it heard there was a lot of field work!
  5. Why don’t Seattleites play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always under a raincloud!
  6. Why was the Seattle football team late to the game? They were stuck at a coffee bean tasting.
  7. How does a Seattleite break up with their significant other? They “espresso” their feelings.
  8. Why do Seattleites go to Alaska in the summer? They miss the rain.
  9. Why did the baseball team go to Seattle? They heard there’s a lot of pitch(er)s.
  10. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite song? “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.”
  11. How do you get a Seattleite’s attention? Shout “Free coffee!”
  12. What do you call a magical creature from Seattle? A Rainicorn.
  13. What do you call a cat that lives in Seattle? A purr-sipitatious feline.
  14. Why don’t Seattleites mind if they’re late to work? Because time is always brewing.
  15. Why did the Seattle lawyer become a barista? He wanted to work on more “grounds.”
  16. Why did the barista file a police report? Because he got mugged!
  17. What do Seattle and an over-achieving student have in common? They always have a lot of “Cloud” storage.
  18. Why did the baker move to Seattle? He kneaded the dough, and it’s a bread-making climate.
  19. Why do Seattleites only write in pencil? Because they never know when the rain will wash the ink away.
  20. Why did the Seattleite go to therapy? He was feeling a bit mist.
  21. What do you call a nervous Seattleite? A jitter-bean.
  22. Why did the Seattleite break up with their umbrella? It wasn’t very uplifting.
  23. Why did the Seattleite bring a map to the coffee shop? To find the Espress-way!
  24. Why did the Seattleite get kicked out of the library? They said, “I’m just here to check out the brew books!”
  25. Why do Seattle artists always draw coffee cups? Because they like still “life brewings.”
  26. Why do Seattle dentists recommend coffee? They have a latte cavities to fill.
  27. How do Seattleites learn to forecast the weather? They take a crash course in “brewology.”
  28. Why don’t Seattleites like iced coffee? Because they prefer their coffee with a chance of rain.
  29. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite type of math? Ge-“latte”-metry.
  30. What did the Seattleite say to their alarm clock? “Brew can’t be serious, it’s already morning!”
  31. What did the Seattleite say to the espresso? “You’re brew-tiful.”
  32. Why did the Seattleite refuse to leave his house? He didn’t want to step into a “brew-haha.”
  33. How do Seattleites spice up their life? With a “latte” flavor!
  34. What do you call a Seattleite who can’t decide between two types of coffee? In a brew-haha.
  35. Why did the Seattle barista become a musician? Because he had the perfect “pitcher.”
  36. What did the Seattleite call his coffee-filled boat? The SS Espresso.
  37. Why did the Seattleite go to the beach? He heard there was a brew-tal wave coming.
  38. Why was the Seattleite staring at his coffee? He was trying to espresso himself.
  39. What do you call a Seattleite who loves heavy metal and coffee? A brew-tal fan.
  40. Why do Seattleites like detective stories? They enjoy a good brew-dunit.
  41. How do you know you’re in a Seattle zoo? Even the elephants have their trunks up, ready for rain.
  42. Why did the Seattleite wear two jackets to the coffee shop? Because he heard there was a chance of a brew-ski.
  43. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite superhero? Captain Ameri-caffeine.
  44. Why did the Seattleite bring a coffee mug to the football game? He wanted to catch a brew-d ball.
  45. What do you call a Seattleite with no coffee? Depresso.
  46. How do Seattleites break the ice? They pour hot coffee on it.
  47. Why was the Seattleite bad at playing cards? He always spilled his coffee on them.
  48. Why do Seattleites always carry coffee mugs? Just in brew case.
  49. What did the Seattleite say after his first sip of coffee? “Now that’s a high-pressure system!”
  50. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite constellation? The Big Dipper, for coffee of course.
  51. Why don’t Seattleites like tea? Because it’s not brew-tiful enough.
  52. Why did the Seattleite bring a ladder to the coffee shop? He wanted a higher brew.
  53. Why did the Seattleite wear a helmet to the coffee shop? He was ready for a “brew-sade.”
  54. What did the Seattleite name his dog? Brew-ser.
  55. Why was the Seattleite so calm during the storm? He had his coffee and was latte-da about it.
  56. Why do Seattleites always know the time? Their watch is brew-set on coffee time.
  57. Why did the Seattleite bring a spoon to the football game? He heard they were serving brew-li.
  58. Why did the Seattleite go to art school? He wanted to learn how to draw a perfect latte.
  59. What do Seattleites use to cut their coffee beans? A brew-merang.
  60. Why did the Seattleite plant a coffee bean in his garden? He wanted to grow his own brew-tiful flower.
  61. Why did the Seattleite refuse to drink the coffee? It was a decaf-strophe!
  62. What did the Seattleite say to the bag of coffee beans? “You’re brew-tiful just the way you are.”
  63. Why do Seattleites love fishing? Because they’re good at catch and re-brew.
  64. Why did the Seattleite go to the top of the Space Needle? He wanted a bird’s eye brew.
  65. Why was the Seattleite’s coffee so happy? It was a mug half full kind of brew.
  66. How do Seattleites stay fit? They do a lot of brew-pees.
  67. Why did the Seattleite take a coffee mug to the gym? He heard it was a great way to get a brew-ceps workout.
  68. Why did the Seattleite take the coffee to the mechanic Because it had a brewing problem.
  69. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite piece of furniture? A coffee table, of course.
  70. Why did the Seattleite take a picture of his coffee? Because it was brew-tiful art.
  71. Why did the barista become a banker? Because he’s good at brewing up interest.
  72. Why did the Seattleite become a poet? Because he wanted to espresso himself.
  73. Why did the Seattleite become a philosopher? Because he has a latte on his mind.
  74. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite novel? “War and Brews.”
  75. What do you call a Seattleite in the desert? A dry roast.
  76. Why do Seattleites love camping? Because of the coffee brewed over an open fire.
  77. Why did the Seattleite go to the moon? He wanted to have a stellar brew.
  78. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite dance move? The coffee grind.
  79. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite sport? Brewminton.
  80. How do Seattleites like their eggs? Sunny-side brewed.
  81. Why did the Seattleite go to the bakery? He needed a bun for his coffee.
  82. Why did the Seattleite bring a coffee mug to a soccer match? He was hoping for some brew-tiful goals.
  83. How do Seattleites get over a breakup? They brew up some comfort.
  84. What do you call a Seattleite on a skateboard? A brew-ster.
  85. What do you call a fast Seattleite? A coffee runner.
  86. Why do Seattleites love the zoo? The animals are always brew-ing something fun.
  87. Why did the Seattleite become an astronomer? He wanted to find the Milky Brew-way.
  88. What did the Seattleite name his racehorse? Dark Roast.
  89. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite exercise? Coffee lifts.
  90. How do Seattleites like their steaks? Well-brewed.
  91. Why did the Seattleite go to the market? To stock up on coffee beans.
  92. Why did the Seattleite visit the spa? For a coffee scrub.
  93. Why did the Seattleite become a gardener? He wanted to grow his own coffee beans.
  94. Why did the Seattleite visit the farm? He was looking for some brew-d animals.
  95. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite fish? The brew-da fish.
  96. What did the Seattleite say to his beloved coffee? “You’re brew-tiful in my eyes.”
  97. Why did the Seattleite start a band? Because he had a latte of great ideas.
  98. Why did the Seattleite go to the museum? He was looking for some brew-tiful art.
  99. Why did the Seattleite open a bookstore? He believed in the power of brew-knowledge.
  100. What do you call a Seattleite with a cold? A brew-sneeze.
  101. Why do Seattleites love theater? The drama is always brewing.
  102. Why did the Seattleite join the circus? He wanted to join the juggling act with coffee cups.
  103. Why did the Seattleite go to the haunted house? He heard it was a ghostly brew.
  104. Why do Seattleites love classic cars? They’re like a fine brew, they get better with time.
  105. Why did the Seattleite go to the music festival? He wanted to hear the brew-tiful melodies.
  106. Why did the Seattleite climb Mount Rainier? He wanted a mountaintop brew.
  107. Why did the Seattleite become a sailor? He wanted to sail the brew seas.
  108. Why do Seattleites love fall? It’s pumpkin spice latte season.
  109. Why did the Seattleite write a novel? He had a latte of stories to tell.
  110. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite day of the week? Brewsday.
  111. What did the Seattleite say to the new coffee shop in town? “Brew’re welcome here.”
  112. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite movie? “Brewne Identity.”
  113. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite game? “Brews Clues.”
  114. Why do Seattleites love the sea? The waves remind them of the coffee swirl in their mugs.
  115. Why did the Seattleite bring a coffee to the party? He wanted to be the life of the brew-ty.
  116. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite TV show? “Brew’s the Boss.”
  117. Why do Seattleites love the farmer’s market? Fresh brew ingredients.
  118. Why do Seattleites love snow? Because it’s just frozen rain.
  119. Why did the Seattleite join the baseball team? He loves catching brew balls.
  120. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite vegetable? Brew-coli.
  121. Why did the Seattleite go to the forest? He wanted to brew a campfire coffee.
  122. Why did the Seattleite become a photographer? He wanted to capture brew-tiful moments.
  123. Why do Seattleites love the beach? The sea brews a lovely breeze.
  124. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite planet? Brew-piter.
  125. Why do Seattleites love the fair? Cotton candy reminds them of frothed milk on their lattes.
  126. Why did the Seattleite bring a coffee to the chess match? He wanted to play a brew-tegic game.
  127. Why did the Seattleite become a chef? He loved brewing up new recipes.
  128. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite bird? The brew-can.
  129. Why did the Seattleite bring a coffee to the park? He wanted a picnic brew.
  130. Why do Seattleites love the wind? It brews up a lovely scent of coffee from the cafes.
  131. What did the Seattleite say to the morning sun? “You’re brew-tiful.”
  132. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite tree? The coffee tree, of course.
  133. Why do Seattleites love summer? More sunshine to enjoy their cold brew.
  134. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite flower? The brew-tiful rose.
  135. Why do Seattleites love rivers? They’re nature’s brew.
  136. Why do Seattleites love hiking? The mountain air brews up a wonderful scent.
  137. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite dessert? Coffee-flavored ice cream.
  138. Why did the Seattleite become an inventor? He wanted to brew up new ideas.
  139. Why did the Seattleite go to the music concert? He wanted to listen to the brew-tiful harmonies.
  140. Why do Seattleites love stargazing? The night sky is a brew-tiful spectacle.
  141. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite instrument? The brew-tiful piano.
  142. What’s a Seattleite’s favorite animal? The coffee-loving monkey.
  143. Why did the Seattleite visit the amusement park? He wanted to ride the brew-ster coaster.

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