57+ jokes about millennials

Why don’t millennials use bookmarks? Because the Wi-Fi signal never reaches that far into the forest!
Why did the millennial refuse to play hide and seek? Because no one likes finding a job!
What do you call a millennial who can cook, clean, and do laundry? A myth.
Why don’t millennials make good secret agents? They can’t go a minute without posting what they’re doing.
Why do millennials always carry around a water bottle? In case they stumble upon a random podcast recording.
What’s a millennial’s favorite car part? The dashboard, because it’s perfect for selfies.
How many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but they’ll spend three hours researching which lightbulb has the smallest carbon footprint.
Why are millennials like WiFi signals? They can’t function without multiple bars!
What’s a millennial’s favorite exercise? Jumping to conclusions.
How do you get a millennial to go to the gym? Tell them it has free Wi-Fi.
Why do millennials never lose at tennis? They mastered the art of serving looks.
Why do millennials hate Russian dolls? They are full of themselves, like the worst social media posts.
Why don’t millennials use staplers? They’re afraid of any type of commitment.
Why are millennials bad at soccer? They always want to plant their roots before they can kick the ball.
How do you scare a millennial? Turn off their Wi-Fi.
Why do millennials make the worst sailors? They can’t get past the initial “streaming.”
Why do millennials make terrible bankers? Because they lose interest too fast.
Why do millennials avoid playing chess? They can’t handle the idea of a checkmate that’s not on their smartphone.
Why do millennials like smart fridges? They can’t bear the thought of their food not being “connected.”
Why don’t millennials use post-it notes? They have too many tabs open in their brain already.
Why do millennials like eating sushi? They say it’s for the taste, but we all know it’s for the Instagram story.
What do millennials and wine bottles have in common? They’re both scared of being opened up.
Why do millennials make poor gardeners? They struggle to put down roots.
Why are millennials always cold? They spend too much time in the cloud.
Why are millennials bad at hide and seek? They always share their location.
Why did the millennial bring a ladder to the bar? They heard the drinks were on the house.
What’s a millennial’s favorite hobby? Watching their life unfold in a series of Snapchats.
Why did the millennial call the electricity company? He had no idea how to change the mood light settings.
Why do millennials hate teabags? They can’t stand anything that steeps.
Why did the millennial get kicked out of the library? Too many face-to-book interactions.
Why do millennials make terrible vampires? They can’t enter a house unless they’ve been invited… on Facebook.
What do you call a millennial who can play the guitar? Unemployed.
What do you call a millennial with a savings account? A miracle.
Why don’t millennials make their beds? They’re too busy living the dream.
What do you call a millennial with a steady job? An intern.
How does a millennial catch a fish? They bait it with a tweet.
Why do millennials prefer their plants over pets? At least plants don’t require walkies.
Why did the millennial refuse to eat the last slice of avocado toast? They didn’t want to be responsible for finishing it off.
Why are millennials bad at poker? They don’t know how to deal with anything.
Why did the millennial get lost at the museum? They were looking for the Instagram exhibit.
What’s a millennial’s favorite board game? Sorry, they don’t have time for board games; they’re too busy playing life.
Why did the millennial cross the road? To start a food truck on the other side.
Why don’t millennials play golf? Because the hole is never where the GPS says it is.
Why are millennials like a box of chocolates? You never know which career they’re going to choose next.
How do millennials prefer their eggs? In an Instagram story.
Why did the millennial refuse the job at the bakery? He didn’t want to knead the dough; he wanted to make it.
How do you know a millennial is a good cook? They have a Pinterest board to prove it.
Why did the millennial become a gardener? They wanted to grow their social media following.
Why do millennials prefer working in cafes? Because “office” is too mainstream.
Why are millennials always at the Apple Store? They’re looking for Jobs.
Why did the millennial become a yoga teacher? Because they wanted to find their balance.
Why did the millennial buy a Roomba? So they could tell people they live with a robot.
Why did the millennial get a job at the zoo? They wanted to work with unicorns.
What’s a millennial’s favorite type of bread? Anything but a “roll.”
Why did the millennial refuse to take the elevator? They’re all about taking things to the next level.
Why don’t millennials watch traditional TV? They don’t like anything that’s not on-demand.
How do millennials prefer their coffee? They don’t care as long as it’s in a reusable cup.
Why do millennials prefer cats over dogs? Cats are less likely to reveal their internet browsing history.
Why did the millennial start a podcast about meditation? They wanted to help others find their “inner WiFi.”
What do millennials and old computers have in common? They both start getting slow after too many tabs open.
Why do millennials avoid the circus? Too many clowns not in politics.
Why do millennials prefer working from home? Because their bed doesn’t judge them for not wearing pants.
Why did the millennial break up with their gym? They were tired of the relationship not working out.
Why did the millennial bring their charger to the party? They can’t stand low-energy situations.
What do millennials and a smartwatch have in common? They both count steps, but not towards a career ladder.
Why are millennials like the stock market? One bad news tweet, and they both crash.
Why did the millennial get fired from the calendar factory? They took a day off.
Why do millennials always carry a charger? Their social life depends on it.
Why do millennials prefer texting over talking? They can’t handle the ring of rejection.
Why did the millennial refuse to play Monopoly? It was too triggering to their real estate woes.
Why do millennials love camping? It’s the only kind of settling they can afford.
Why did the millennial refuse to use a paper map? It doesn’t update automatically.
Why do millennials love escape rooms? It’s the closest they’ll get to owning property.
Why are millennials like parking tickets? They get annoying when they start piling up.
Why did the millennial go to a psychic? To find out if they’ll ever be able to afford a house.
Why don’t millennials like to use encyclopedias? They don’t have a search bar.
Why did the millennial break up with his GPS? It had too many red flags.
Why do millennials make poor mountaineers? They can’t handle a minor setback.
Why did the millennial bring an iPhone to the campfire? To create an iMores experience.
Why do millennials like Spotify? Because life’s too short to stick to one song.
Why did the millennial open a bakery? To make dough from scratch.
Why did the millennial start a blog? They wanted to go from a private browser to a public figure.
What do you call a millennial in a suit? The defendant.
Why are millennials like computer viruses? They won’t leave until they’ve taken over.
Why did the millennial start a homebrew business? It was the yeast he could do.
Why don’t millennials like football? They hate anything that prevents them from running away from commitment.
Why did the millennial refuse to use a hairdryer? They didn’t want to spread hot air like politicians.
Why did the millennial go broke at the candy store? They couldn’t resist investing in Bit-O-Honey.
Why do millennials love autocorrect? It’s the closest thing to having their life together.
Why did the millennial refuse to play Bingo? Too many numbers, not enough emojis.
Why do millennials make terrible secretaries? They can’t handle a physical inbox.
Why do millennials love roller coasters? It mirrors their career trajectory.
Why did the millennial join the circus? They thought it would help them juggle their responsibilities.
Why did the millennial join a choir? They wanted to be in sync for once.
Why do millennials prefer wireless headphones? They can’t untangle anything in life.
Why did the millennial start a recycling business? They thought it was their only chance to break the glass ceiling.
Why did the millennial invest in Bitcoin? They thought it was their only chance to afford a bit of coin.
Why did the millennial become a carpenter? They heard it was a good way to hammer out problems.
Why do millennials hate reality TV? Their reality is dramatic enough.
Why don’t millennials like analog clocks? They can’t handle facing time.
Why did the millennial invest in renewable energy? They thought it would help recharge their life.
Why did the millennial join a cycling club? They needed to get their life in gear.
Why don’t millennials like landline phones? They can’t swipe left.
Why did the millennial start a carpooling service? They wanted to steer their life in the right direction.
Why did the millennial become a zookeeper? They were good at managing wild expectations.
Why don’t millennials like puzzles? They can’t piece their life together.
Why did the millennial become an astronaut? They thought it was the best way to gain some space.
Why do millennials prefer online dating? They like to keep their options open (in different tabs).
Why did the millennial start a candle business? They wanted to light up their career.
Why did the millennial join a rock band? They wanted to hit rock bottom on their terms.
Why did the millennial invest in a vineyard? They wanted a stable pour-formance.
Why did the millennial become a dentist? They wanted to drill into their problems.
Why did the millennial start a gym? They wanted to work on their gains, not losses.
Why don’t millennials use analog calculators? They hate pressing buttons.
Why did the millennial start a matcha tea business? They needed a change of brew.
Why did the millennial start a fashion brand? They wanted to design their destiny.
Why do millennials prefer e-books? They can’t handle the weight of real books.
Why did the millennial join a gardening club? They needed to plant some stability in their life.
Why did the millennial start a cooking show? They needed to spice up their life.
Why did the millennial join a boxing club? They were tired of being a punching bag in life.
Why don’t millennials use paper calendars? They can’t stand the thought of pinning down dates.
Why did the millennial join a hiking club? They needed a peak experience.
Why did the millennial become a DJ? They wanted to drop the beat, not their career.
Why did the millennial become a farmer? They wanted to harvest good vibes.
Why did the millennial start a yoga studio? They needed to stretch their possibilities.
Why don’t millennials like using umbrellas? They’d rather get drenched than handle another responsibility.
Why did the millennial start a meme page? They wanted to be in control of the jokes for once.
Why did the millennial become a detective? They were good at digging up dirt on social media.
Why did the millennial become a psychologist? They wanted to understand why they’re like this.
Why did the millennial become a scuba diver? They wanted to dive deep into their problems.
Why did the millennial start a bookstore? They wanted to turn a new page in their life.
Why did the millennial become a teacher? They wanted to chalk out their success.
Why did the millennial become a chemist? They wanted to experiment with their life.
Why did the millennial become a chef? They were tired of stirring up trouble and decided to stir up some recipes instead.
Why did the millennial start a bar? They were already good at serving looks.
Why did the millennial become a librarian? They wanted to check out a better life.
Why did the millennial become a fitness trainer? They were tired of lifting their burdens and decided to lift some weights instead.
Why did the millennial become a race car driver? They wanted to fast-track their success.
Why did the millennial become an artist? They wanted to draw a better future.
Why did the millennial become a firefighter? They were tired of dealing with burns on Twitter.
Why did the millennial become an engineer? They wanted to construct a solid future.
Why did the millennial become a pilot? They wanted to fly away from their problems.
Why did the millennial become a plumber? They were already good at dealing with leaks on social media.
Why did the millennial become a lawyer? They were already good at defending their choices.
Why did the millennial become a politician? They were tired of dealing with clowns and decided to join the circus.
Why did the millennial become a stand-up comedian? They were already a joke.

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