147 giant jokes

Sure, I’d be happy to share some jokes themed around “giants.” Please note that humor can be quite subjective, so I hope you’ll find these entertaining!

1. Why did the giant get a detention in school?
   • Because he always talks down to his classmates!
2. Why was the giant so good at chess?
   • Because he always had his head above the pawns!
3. Why don’t giants make good detectives?
   • They always overlook the small details!
4. Why did the giant flunk his driving test?
   • He couldn’t get his head around the concept of compact cars!
5. Why did the giant become a librarian?
   • Because he really loved oversized books!
6. How does a giant keep his pants up?
   • With a meteor belt!
7. What’s a giant’s favorite exercise?
   • Squats, because he’s always reaching for the ground!
8. Why don’t giants use computers?
   • They’re afraid of Windows!
9. Why did the giant go to therapy?
   • He felt like he never quite fit in.
10. Why are giants so good at hide and seek?
    • They can hide in the clouds!
11. Why did the giant become a farmer?
    • Because he was really into growth!
12. Why couldn’t the giant play golf?
    • Because his clubs were always too short!
13. How does a giant drink coffee?
    • In a volcano mug!
14. Why was the giant bad at baseball?
    • Every time he hit the ball, it ended up in another state!
15. What’s a giant’s favorite type of music?
    • Anything with big band!
16. What’s a giant’s favorite sport?
    • Skydiving, it’s just a step for him!
17. What did the giant say to the skyscraper?
    • “Stop looking up to me!”
18. Why don’t giants play hide and seek with mountains?
    • Because the mountains always peak!
19. Why did the giant refuse to wear glasses?
    • He didn’t want to see the small stuff!
20. What’s a giant’s favorite planet?
    • Jupiter, it’s the only place he feels normal!
21. Why did the giant eat the moon?
    • Because he wanted a light snack!
22. Why was the giant kicked out of the bakery?
    • He said the buns were too small for his burger!
23. How does a giant text his friends?
    • He uses caps lock so it feels like a normal size!
24. Why don’t giants use earbuds?
    • They always lose them in their ear canals!
25. Why was the giant upset at the restaurant?
    • Because he asked for a large pizza, but it looked like a regular one to him!
26. Why did the giant always lose at poker?
    • His face was too easy to read!
27. Why did the giant start a landscaping company?
    • Because he loved moving mountains!
28. Why did the giant become an artist?
    • He always had a huge canvas to work with!
29. What’s a giant’s favorite drink?
    • A gallon of coffee, or as he calls it, “a single serving.”
30. Why don’t giants use pencils?
    • Because they always mistake them for toothpicks!
31. Why was the giant bad at marathons?
    • He always steps on the finish line!
32. What’s a giant’s favorite hobby?
    • Planet bowling!
33. Why did the giant get fired from the shoemaking factory?
    • His shoes were always a size too big!
34. What do you call a giant who always has new ideas?
    • A big thinker!
35. Why don’t giants become surgeons?
    • They have a hard time handling the small stuff!
36. What’s a giant’s favorite fruit?
    • Watermelon, because it’s the only one that doesn’t feel like a grape!
37. Why do giants make terrible thieves?
    • They always get caught red-handed!
38. What do giants use to tie their shoes?
    • Rainbow strings!
39. Why was the giant terrible at soccer?
    • He always gets a yellow card for high kicking!
40. Why do giants hate ants?
    • They can’t see them to squash them!
41. What’s a giant’s favorite dance move?
    • The moonwalk, because he’s already been there!
42. Why did the giant become an architect?
    • He wanted to raise the roof!
43. Why do giants always win at limbo?
    • Because they just step over the bar!
44. What’s a giant’s favorite movie?
    • “Big,” because it’s relatable!
45. How does a giant fly a kite?
    • He just lets it go!
46. Why was the giant’s email always going to spam?
    • Because his messages were too large!
47. Why did the giant love using the elevator?
    • It’s the only thing that lifts him up!
48. Why did the giant get a job at NASA?
    • He was tired of feeling grounded!
49. What’s a giant’s favorite part of a joke?
    • The punch line, because it hits big!
50. Why did the giant fail his math test?
    • Because he couldn’t grasp the concept of tiny fractions!
51. Why did the giant bring a ladder to the bar?
    • To reach for his highball!
52. Why do giants prefer physical books?
    • E-books are just too small!
53. Why did the giant join the circus?
    • He wanted to try trapeze without the heights!
54. How does a giant make a phone call?
    • He uses his tablet!
55. Why was the giant’s dinner always cold?
    • It took too long to eat!
56. Why was the giant terrible at basketball?
    • He was always called for goaltending!
57. What does a giant call a swimming pool?
    • A bathtub!
58. Why do giants love the winter?
    • Snowflakes finally look the right size!
59. How does a giant take a selfie?
    • With a drone!
60. Why did the giant become a firefighter?
    • He could rescue cats from trees without a ladder!
61. Why do giants never lose at Jenga?
    • They see the whole stack without bending!
62. Why was the giant always late for school?
    • His alarm clock was too small to hear!
63. Why did the giant go to the orchestra?
    • To finally see a full-sized violin!
64. What’s a giant’s favorite flower?
    • A tree!
65. Why was the giant the best baseball player?
    • He could always catch the high balls!
66. Why did the giant never win at laser tag?
    • He was an easy target!
67. Why was the giant bad at chess?
    • He always knocked over the pieces!
68. What do you call a giant who can play the piano?
    • A big hit!
69. Why did the giant start a car company?
    • To make everything SUV-sized!
70. Why don’t giants make good chefs?
    • They always overcook the pasta!
71. Why did the giant fail his typing class?
    • He couldn’t find a keyboard his size!
72. How does a giant listen to music?
    • On speakers the size of houses!
73. What’s a giant’s favorite type of poetry?
    • Epic poems, because they’re longer!
74. Why did the giant start a wine company?
    • Because regular bottles looked like samples to him!
75. Why did the giant refuse to use a telescope?
    • He didn’t want to squint!
76. How does a giant cut his nails?
    • With garden shears!
77. Why was the giant always chosen for group projects?
    • He could always see the bigger picture!
78. Why was the giant kicked out of the karaoke bar?
    • His voice was breaking the glass!
79. What does a giant use for a water slide?
    • A waterfall!
80. Why don’t giants use GPS?
    • They can see their destination!
81. Why did the giant get a job at the billboard company?
    • He didn’t need a ladder to hang ads!
82. Why did the giant fail at making omelets?
    • He always cracks the eggs too hard!
83. Why did the giant hate playing cards?
    • The deck was too small to shuffle!
84. What does a giant call a ship?
    • A bathtub toy!
85. Why don’t giants like shopping online?
    • They can’t try on clothes!
86. Why did the giant start a painting company?
    • He could reach the ceilings without a ladder!
87. What do giants use as golf balls?
    • Meteorites!
88. How does a giant pay at the grocery store?
    • With a giant check!
89. Why did the giant get in trouble for playing with his food?
    • He was tossing pizzas like frisbees!
90. What does a giant use as a hairbrush?
    • A tree!
91. Why was the giant terrible at hide and seek?
    • He could never find a good hiding spot!
92. How does a giant clean his teeth?
    • With a street lamp!
93. What’s a giant’s favorite place to play soccer?
    • The Sahara Desert – it’s the only field large enough!
94. Why did the giant refuse to wear a watch?
    • He couldn’t see the hands!
95. Why was the giant terrible at bowling?
    • He always threw gutter balls – from his hand to the gutter!
96. Why was the giant always the first one found in hide and seek?
    • His footprints gave him away!
97. Why did the giant hate musical chairs?
    • The chairs were too small!
98. Why was the giant always sleepy?
    • It took him longer to get to bed!
99. Why did the giant never lose at tic-tac-toe?
    • He saw the winning moves from miles away!
100. How does a giant celebrate his birthday? – With a skyscraper-sized cake!
101. Why don’t giants wear hats? – They always blow away!
102. How does a giant use a smartphone? – He uses a stylus as his finger!
103. Why did the giant open a restaurant? – He wanted to serve supersized meals!
104. Why did the giant become a meteorologist? – He could see the weather coming!
105. Why did the giant start a delivery company? – He could deliver packages in one step!
106. What’s a giant’s favorite workout? – Weightlifting – with a mountain!
107. Why was the giant always good at board games? – He had a bird’s-eye view!
108. How does a giant watch TV? – On a cinema screen!
109. Why did the giant love roller coasters? – They felt like kiddie rides!
110. How does a giant write a letter? – With a tree as his pen!
111. Why did the giant become a basketball coach? – He had a different perspective!
112. What does a giant use as a backpack? – A parachute!
113. Why did the giant become a DJ? – He could get the whole city to dance!
114. Why was the giant always hungry? – Small portions just weren’t enough!
115. Why did the giant hate using umbrellas? – They were always too small to keep him dry!
116. Why did the giant become a teacher? – He could see who was passing notes!
117. What do you call a giant who tells jokes? – A big laugh!
118. Why did the giant start a travel agency? – He could see all the tourist spots from his house!
119. How does a giant eat soup? – From a swimming pool!
120. Why did the giant become a gardener? – He could plant trees like flowers!
121. How does a giant blow his nose? – With a bed sheet!
122. Why don’t giants play darts? – They always hit bullseye!
123. Why did the giant become a movie director? – He had a wide-angle view!
124. Why don’t giants like roller skating? – The skates are too small!
125. How does a giant make a sandwich? – With a loaf of bread for each slice!
126. Why did the giant become a builder? – He could lift the beams himself!
127. Why did the giant join the rowing team? – He didn’t need oars!
128. What does a giant use as a flashlight? – A lighthouse!
129. Why did the giant become a sailor? – He could wade across the sea!
130. Why don’t giants play video games? – The controllers are too small!
131. Why did the giant become a real estate agent? – He could show the whole house in one step!
132. What do you call a giant who sings? – A big hit!
133. Why was the giant always calm? – He had a long time to think before reacting!
134. Why did the giant become a rock star? – He could fill a stadium with his voice!
135. How does a giant take a shower? – In a waterfall!
136. Why did the giant refuse to use headphones? – They were always too small for his ears!
137. Why did the giant love hot air balloons? – They were the only things that could lift him off the ground!
138. What do giants use as tablecloths? – A football field!
139. Why did the giant become a traffic cop? – He could see who was speeding!
140. How does a giant keep track of time? – He uses Big Ben!
141. Why did the giant become a taxi driver? – He could take big strides towards destinations!
142. Why did the giant love using computers? – He finally found a use for his magnifying glass!
143. What does a giant use as a parachute? – A circus tent!
144. Why did the giant become a mechanic? – He could lift the cars himself!
145. How does a giant put on makeup? – With a paintbrush!
146. Why did the giant hate wearing headphones? – They were always too tight on his head!
147. Why did the giant love the beach? – The ocean was his swimming pool!