57+ firefighter jokes

  1. Why don’t firefighters play soccer? Because they always end up going for the hose instead of the goals.
  2. What do you get if you cross a firefighter and a baseball player? An extinguished hitter.
  3. Why did the firefighter bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
  4. How does a firefighter propose to their partner? “Will you marry me or is this relationship too heated?”
  5. Why did the firefighter break up with his girlfriend? He couldn’t handle the spark anymore.
  6. Why did the cookie call the firefighter? It felt crummy and burnt out.
  7. What’s a firefighter’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because it’s all about the angles (and ladders).
  8. Why did the firefighter never play hide and seek? He always ended up near the smoke.
  9. Why don’t firefighters make good bakers? They keep putting out the oven!
  10. Why was the firefighter at the fruit market? He heard there was a berry blaze.
  11. What did the firefighter say to the gym trainer? “I’m here to pump…water.”
  12. What kind of exercises do firefighters do? They do the ladder climb and the hose drag!
  13. Why did the firefighter bring a pencil to the scene? He wanted to draw water.
  14. What’s a firefighter’s favorite part of the joke? The extinguish line!
  15. Why do firefighters wear red suspenders? To keep their pants from falling into the ashes.
  16. What do firefighters and postmen have in common? They both know the drill!
  17. Why are firefighters good at baseball? They always make the best saves.
  18. What do firefighters serve at dinner? Extinguished recipes.
  19. Why did the firefighter go to the concert? He wanted to stop the roof from being on fire.
  20. How does a firefighter’s day end? He burns the midnight oil.
  21. What do you call a firefighter who makes cakes? A batter chief!
  22. How do firefighters keep their pants up? With flame-resistant belt!
  23. What did the fire say to the firefighter? “You’re extinguishing my plans!”
  24. Why are firefighters great detectives? They always find the hot lead.
  25. Why don’t firefighters have office jobs? They can’t stand the paperwork… It’s a fire hazard.
  26. What’s a firefighter’s favorite drink? Water, of course!
  27. Why do firefighters have big boots? So they can fill them with courage!
  28. Why did the firefighter join the circus? He wanted to be a fire-eater!
  29. What’s a firefighter’s favorite game? Ring of fire.
  30. What do you call a firefighter who starts his own business? An entrepreneur on fire!
  31. Why did the firefighter go to art school? He wanted to perfect his spray painting!
  32. What’s a firefighter’s favorite type of music? Anything but “Light My Fire” by The Doors.
  33. How does a firefighter tell time? By the number of alarm bells!
  34. Why don’t firefighters trust electricity? It sparks too much!
  35. What’s a firefighter’s favorite dessert? Flambe, extinguished of course!
  36. Why do firefighters always carry a map? In case they have to extinguish a forest fire!
  37. What do you call a firefighter in a three-piece suit? The best-dressed man in the fire.
  38. What’s a firefighter’s favorite vegetable? A watercress.
  39. What did the firefighter name his twin daughters? Amber and Ember.
  40. Why are firefighters good at chess? They know the importance of every move!
  41. How did the firefighter do on his test? He put out all the right answers!
  42. Why did the firefighter become a gardener? He loved hose.
  43. What’s a firefighter’s favorite day of the week? Water Wednesday!
  44. Why did the firefighter go to the library? To put out the book burning!
  45. Why don’t firefighters like racing? They’d rather extinguish than finish.
  46. What does a firefighter wear to a wedding? His suit and hose.
  47. How do firefighters communicate? They use hot signals.
  48. Why did the firefighter carry a red pen? In case he needed to draw fire.
  49. Why did the firefighter bring marshmallows to work? For when things get too toasty.
  50. Why don’t firefighters make good comedians? Their jokes are too fired up!
  51. What’s a firefighter’s favorite hobby? To douse and chill.
  52. What’s the firefighter’s favorite song? “Burning Down the House.”
  53. Why do firefighters love the rain? It does half their job for them.
  54. Why did the firefighter start meditating? He wanted to find inner peace and stop the inner fire.
  55. Why did the firefighter get a ticket? He broke the speed limit, driving to extinguish the fire.
  56. What’s a firefighter’s favorite fruit? Watermelon, for the hydrating value!
  57. Why do firefighters love holidays? They get to light up the firecrackers, and also put them out!
  58. Why do firefighters love chemistry? They always have a reaction!
  59. What did the firefighter name his son? Blaze.
  60. Why are firefighters terrible at poker? Their faces always light up.
  61. Why did the firefighter bring sunscreen? He didn’t want to get burned.
  62. How do firefighters greet each other? “Hot enough for you?”
  63. What’s a firefighter’s favorite movie? “Backdraft.”
  64. Why don’t firefighters like winter? Too much ice, not enough fire.
  65. Why are firefighters such good cooks? They’re used to heat in the kitchen.
  66. Why did the firefighter bring a compass? He didn’t want to lose his bearings in the smoke.
  67. What did the firefighter say to the flame? “Nice try, but I’m still cooler.”
  68. What’s a firefighter’s favorite bird? The phoenix, as they know it will rise from the ashes.
  69. What do firefighters put on their toast? Fire jelly.
  70. Why did the firefighter get promoted? He knew how to light a fire under his team!
  71. Why did the firefighter go to the coffee shop? He wanted a brew that was hot, but not too hot!
  72. Why do firefighters hate running out of water? They feel drained!
  73. Why did the firefighter go on a diet? He didn’t want to feel the burn.
  74. What’s a firefighter’s favorite part of a house? The fire escape.
  75. Why do firefighters love comedy? It’s the only place they enjoy a good roast!
  76. Why are firefighters good at school? They know how to tackle the pressure.
  77. What’s a firefighter’s favorite candy? Fireballs.
  78. How do firefighters apologize? “Sorry, didn’t mean to hose your plans!”
  79. Why did the firefighter become a teacher? He wanted to spark young minds, not extinguish them.
  80. Why don’t firefighters like spicy food? It ignites their mouths!
  81. Why did the firefighter become a DJ? He wanted to drop the beats, not extinguish them.
  82. What did the firefighter tell his kids about his job? “It’s blazing fun.”
  83. Why don’t firefighters like the desert? They prefer water bodies!
  84. What do firefighters and authors have in common? Both have to deal with burnout.
  85. How do firefighters like their coffee? Extinguished hot.
  86. Why are firefighters bad at basketball? They always extinguish the net.
  87. What’s a firefighter’s favorite dance? The fireball!
  88. Why did the firefighter go to the carnival? He heard there was a ring of fire.
  89. How does a firefighter do laundry? Carefully, and always separate the reds.
  90. Why did the firefighter get a Dalmatian? It’s always good to have a spotter.
  91. What’s a firefighter’s favorite holiday? Fourth of July. They get to shine!
  92. Why don’t firefighters like candles? They’re always having to put them out!
  93. How do firefighters start their day? With a hot shower and an even hotter cup of coffee.
  94. Why do firefighters love ice cream? It’s the one thing they don’t have to put out!
  95. Why are firefighters great at parties? They know how to heat things up!
  96. Why don’t firefighters like sunsets? They prefer when things cool down.
  97. Why did the firefighter go to the bakery? To put out the buns on fire!
  98. What did the firefighter say at the BBQ? “Everyone, step back. I got this!”
  99. What’s a firefighter’s favorite type of tree? A fire hydrant tree!
  100. Why are firefighters bad at fishing? They always let the big ones get away, but never the fire!
  101. Why don’t firefighters like comedies? They can’t stand the heat of the roasts!
  102. What did the firefighter say to the candle? “You’re fired!”
  103. Why are firefighters like old photographs? They always show up when things develop!
  104. Why do firefighters love swimming? It’s the only time they don’t mind being doused!
  105. What’s a firefighter’s favorite type of car? Anything but a hot rod!
  106. Why are firefighters always calm? They keep the flame of patience burning.
  107. Why did the firefighter go to the spa? He wanted a steam, not smoke.
  108. How do firefighters spice up their life? By climbing the ladder!
  109. Why are firefighters good at poker? They keep a poker face even in the heat of the moment!
  110. Why do firefighters love the beach? Lots of water and no smoke!
  111. Why do firefighters never play with matches? They’re always working with them!
  112. Why are firefighters good at playing tag? They know how to stop the chase!
  113. Why did the firefighter go to the zoo? He heard there was a fire in the lion’s den!
  114. What’s a firefighter’s favorite seasoning? Smoke seasoning.
  115. What did the firefighter say to the smoke? “I think we need some space!”
  116. Why did the firefighter start painting? He wanted to fan the flames of his creativity.
  117. What do you call a firefighter who loves to travel? A globe-trotter on fire!
  118. Why don’t firefighters like fast food? They prefer slow-cooked meals!
  119. What’s a firefighter’s favorite type of pie? A cool, not baked, Alaska.
  120. Why do firefighters dislike lightning? It’s too shocking!
  121. How do firefighters keep fit? They always burn calories!
  122. Why did the firefighter fail the quiz? Too many trick spark questions!
  123. Why did the firefighter bring an umbrella? He wanted to shower, not to get wet!
  124. What do you call a firefighter’s bad day? A three-alarm day!
  125. Why are firefighters like snowflakes? No two are the same!
  126. Why did the firefighter go camping? He loved cooking on an open flame!
  127. Why do firefighters always carry a hose? They never want to be caught in a dry spell!
  128. How do firefighters say goodbye? “Keep it cool!”
  129. What do firefighters and volcanologists have in common? They both have jobs that rock and roll!
  130. Why don’t firefighters like thunderstorms? Too much spark, not enough fire!
  131. What’s a firefighter’s favorite pasta? Fettuccine Alfredo, but not too al dente!
  132. Why do firefighters love summer? It’s the season of water fights!
  133. How do firefighters get to work? They blaze a trail!
  134. Why did the firefighter start knitting? He wanted to extinguish the idea of being bored!
  135. What did the firefighter say to the ash? “You’re all that’s left!”
  136. Why did the firefighter bring his guitar to work? He wanted to strum away the heat.
  137. Why do firefighters love astronomy? They’re always looking for a shooting star to put out!
  138. Why do firefighters prefer salty food? It keeps the flame low!
  139. How does a firefighter flirt? “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”
  140. What did the firefighter say to his new boots? “You’re really hot-stepping!”
  141. What’s a firefighter’s favorite superhero? The Flash, he’s always gone in a flash.
  142. Why do firefighters hate ironing? They’re always dealing with the steam!
  143. What’s a firefighter’s favorite type of dog? A hot dog, but cooled down!
  144. Why do firefighters prefer analog clocks? They don’t like anything digital, it sparks!
  145. What did the firefighter say to the coal? “You’re too young to smoke!”
  146. Why did the firefighter visit the vineyard? He heard about a wine that was on fire!
  147. What’s a firefighter’s favorite type of bread? Anything but toast!
  148. Why did the firefighter go to the matchmaker? He was looking for the perfect spark!
  149. Why did the firefighter carry a fan? He wanted to blow away the smoke.
  150. Why don’t firefighters like spicy chicken wings? They can’t stand the afterburn!

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