150 droid jokes
- Why don’t droids use social media? Because they hate the thought of being hacked.
- What do you call a droid that takes the stairs? An elevat-irony.
- What’s a droid’s favorite TV show? “Silicon Valley.”
- Why did the droid go to therapy? It had too many chips on its motherboard.
- How does a droid propose? “Will you processor me?”
- What is a droid’s favorite food? Microchips.
- Why don’t droids ever get lost? They always take the high-tech road.
- Why did the droid break up with its laptop? It thought it was too PC.
- Why was the droid on a diet? It had too many bytes.
- Why don’t droids ever go hungry? They’re always being fed data.
- Why do droids hate tennis? The net is always down.
- What do droids use to fix everything? Duct tape and binary.
- Why do droids love school? They get powered by knowledge.
- How do droids communicate secretly? They speak in code.
- Why did the droid visit the dentist? It had a Bluetooth.
- Why don’t droids need to save money? They always cash in their chips.
- Why do droids never get tired? They’re always in sleep mode.
- What do you call a nervous droid? A panic-attack.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- Why did the droid bring a ladder to the bar? It heard the drinks were on the house.
- What’s a droid’s favorite party game? Musical chairs, with only one power outlet.
- What do you call a droid that sings? A comp-choir.
- Why do droids make bad comedians? They always have to explain their byte jokes.
- What did the droid do at the gym? Circuit training.
- Why don’t droids ever argue? They just hash things out.
- What’s a droid’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal.
- Why don’t droids get invited to parties? They’re known for crashing.
- Why did the droid bring a sunscreen? Because it didn’t want to byte the dust.
- How do droids catch fish? With a net(work).
- What’s a droid’s favorite place to visit? Silicon Valley.
- Why don’t droids play hide and seek? Because they always find a backdoor.
- How do droids drink coffee? They take it with cream and sug-arg.
- Why did the droid go to the art gallery? To appreciate the still life (battery life).
- What do droids do when they’re mad? They hit the “caps lock.”
- What did the droid say to its date? “I’m no run-of-the-mill machine. I’ve got genuine Intel inside.”
- What’s a droid’s least favorite weather? Thunderbolts.
- Why do droids always know what time it is? They always have a lot of data processing.
- Why don’t droids need vacations? They never have a hard-drive.
- What do you call a droid who’s good at chess? A check-mate.
- Why are droids bad at storytelling? They always give away the byte-line.
- What’s a droid’s favorite instrument? The key-board.
- Why don’t droids have many friends? They can be a bit hardware-ing.
- Why did the droid go to the bank? To get more bytecoin.
- How do droids send secrets? In code-ments.
- Why do droids hate winter? They don’t like it when their bits freeze.
- What do you call a droid that likes gardening? Plant-o-matic.
- Why do droids love the gym? They’re always working on their software.
- What’s a droid’s favorite clothing? Button-downs.
- What’s a droid’s favorite car? A Volts-wagen.
- Why do droids never panic? They always keep their cool(ing system).
- What’s a droid’s favorite dance move? The electric slide.
- What does a droid do when it’s tired? It goes into standby mode.
- Why did the droid go to the opera? Because it loves a good soap (search-oriented architecture protocol).
- How does a droid flirt? It gives you a wink (in kilobytes).
- What do you call a droid that bakes? A cookie bot.
- What is a droid’s favorite exercise? Running programs.
- Why did the droid bring a towel to the beach? To dry its circuits.
- Why don’t droids like to eat? They’re always full of chips.
- What’s a droid’s favorite shampoo? Head and solder.
- What’s a droid’s favorite book? “A Tale of Two CPUs.”
- Why do droids need glasses? For better bytesight.
- What is a droid’s favorite drink? Hard-ware whisky.
- Why are droids always calm? They’ve always got a lot of memory to spare.
- Why do droids like spring? They enjoy rebooting.
- What’s a droid’s favorite pet? A computer mouse.
- Why don’t droids need to wear watches? They always have internal clock.
- Why was the droid wearing a disguise? It didn’t want to be recognized.
- Why are droids great at basketball? They always make the jump (drive).
- Why do droids never gossip? They can’t spill the beans, only bytes.
- What’s a droid’s favorite type of art? Abstract encryption.
- Why was the droid happy at the beach? It loves surfing the net.
- What do you call a droid who likes to clean? A robo-mop.
- Why are droids always ready for the future? They are programmed that way.
- Why did the droid get a ticket? It was caught speeding on the information superhighway.
- Why do droids always stay out of politics? They’re afraid of a system crash.
- What is a droid’s favorite type of math? Algorith-matics.
- How does a droid keep its pants up? With a microchip clip.
- Why are droids so patient? They’re used to buffering.
- Why don’t droids need alarm clocks? They’re always in sync.
- How do droids say goodbye? “Catch you on the download.”
- Why was the droid arrested? It was charged with battery.
- Why are droids good at poker? They can’t show a poker face.
- Why did the droid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- Why did the droid go to the party? To network.
- How do droids keep their skin smooth? With silicon lotion.
- Why do droids never get stuck in traffic? They know all the shortcuts.
- How do droids make decisions? They weigh the pros and the cons-ole.
- Why was the droid acting strange? It had a screw loose.
- What’s a droid’s favorite dessert? Raspberry Pi.
- Why was the droid in the hospital? It had a virus.
- Why do droids prefer to text? They’re wired for it.
- Why was the droid on a diet? It had too many cookies.
- How do droids talk? They use their word processing program.
- Why did the droid become a police officer? It wanted to serve and correct errors.
- Why did the droid refuse to fight? It was a pacifist (packet-fist).
- Why was the droid at the spa? It needed to defragment.
- What do droids wear to weddings? Silicon ties.
- Why do droids make great DJs? They always hit the right keys.
- How do droids maintain law and order? With fire-walls.
- Why did the droid bring a sweater? It didn’t want to catch a cold boot.
- Why do droids love lightning storms? They find them re-volt-ing.
- What’s a droid’s favorite type of humor? Dry, deadpan humor, because they can’t wet a pan.
- Why do droids make great employees? They’re always working at peak efficiency.
- Why do droids prefer straight lines? They hate going around in circles (of code).
- Why don’t droids like spicy food? They can’t handle the heat-sink.
- Why are droids so romantic? They’re full of love-bugs.
- Why do droids love libraries? They have lots of hard copies.
- How do droids get into buildings? They use a key-log.
- Why don’t droids like arguing? They believe in problem-solving, not conflict.
- Why are droids excellent chess players? They think in binary – win or lose.
- Why do droids love the moon? It has less gravity affecting their hard drive.
- What’s a droid’s favorite hobby? Soldering.
- Why do droids never go to the cinema? They can stream everything.
- Why don’t droids enjoy holidays? They don’t like to switch off.
- Why don’t droids get wrinkles? They’ve got great anti-virus protection.
- What’s a droid’s favorite type of bird? A clockwork sparrow.
- How does a droid ask for a dance? “Can I have this download?”
- Why do droids never sleep? They have power naps.
- Why are droids always the first to arrive? They’re always on time, down to the microsecond.
- Why don’t droids like to be alone? They prefer to be in a LAN party.
- How do droids say “I love you”? “You auto-complete me.”
- Why did the droid go to school? To improve its programming languages.
- Why do droids never feel sad? They always have a backup plan.
- Why are droids so good at drawing? They always stay within the lines of code.
- How do droids get their hair done? With a byte-brush.
- What’s a droid’s favorite sport? Circuit racing.
- Why don’t droids need GPS? They’re always on track.
- Why do droids never forget? They have a memory like a hard drive.
- What’s a droid’s favorite type of movie? Hard drive-in movies.
- Why don’t droids need coffee? They’re always fully charged.
- Why do droids make good teachers? They have infinite patience and infinite loops.
- Why do droids prefer the internet? They love to surf the web.
- Why did the droid refuse to play cards? It was afraid of dealing with a bad hand(le).
- How do droids keep their room clean? They use a bit broom.
- What’s a droid’s favorite flower? A digitalis.
- Why are droids so precise? They always get their facts straight from the source code.
- Why do droids never lie? They can’t help telling the truth tables.
- How do droids get their news? They RSS feed it.
- Why do droids hate the desert? They don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
- Why do droids love shopping online? They always find great bytes.
- Why do droids never cheat? They’re always honest-to-goodness checks.
- Why don’t droids play football? They’re afraid of getting a boot.
- How do droids keep their clothes clean? They use deterge-ntfs.
- What do you call a droid that can sing? An algorith-melody.
- Why do droids hate gardening? They have trouble finding their roots.
- Why don’t droids go on diets? They’re afraid of losing too much cache.
- Why do droids love cities? They’re full of concrete examples.
- Why do droids always come prepared? They always run a simulation first.
- Why do droids make great explorers? They’re not afraid of the explorer.exe.
- What do you call a droid with an attitude? A sass-embly line.