57+ dating jokes

Why did the geologist go on a date with a rock? Because it’s a “gneiss” one!
Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? Because he couldn’t “spirit” any longer.
What did the magnet say to the metal on their first date? “I find you very attractive!”
Why did the carbon atom go on a date with the hydrogen atom? It heard it’s really “bonding.”
Why was the computer cold at the singles bar? It left its Windows open.
Why did the phone break up with the wifi? There was no connection.
Why did the tomato turn red on its date? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are “shellfish.”
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got “mugged” on its date.
What’s a drone’s idea of a perfect date? A long, romantic flight.
What’s a dating advice for vampires? Make sure you know her “type.”
Why did the computer go on a date with a laptop? Because it found its “type.”
What did the champagne bottle say to its date? “You’ve got a lot of pop!”
Why did the girl go on a date with the mushroom? Because he was a fungi.
Why did the mirror date the camera? Because it saw a reflection of itself.
Why did the cat break up with her boyfriend? Because he was a “cheetah.”
Why did the date go poorly for the football player? Because he couldn’t “pass.”
What did the tree say to his date? “I’m falling for you.”
Why did the scarecrow win an award on his date? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the girl dump her piano player boyfriend? Because he played too many games.
What’s a tennis player’s favorite part about dating? Love means nothing to them.
Why did the bird break up with her boyfriend? He kept “tweeting” about other girls.
Why did the snowman break up with the snowwoman? He gave her the cold shoulder.
Why did the bat break up with her boyfriend? Because he kept hanging out with his friends.
Why don’t pens ever go on dates? Because they’re afraid of being “drawn” in.
What did the hammer say to the nail on their first date? “You’ve got a really sharp wit.”
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? She said he was too “spacey.”
Why did the spider go on a date with the fly? It was love at first “site.”
What do you call a knight who won’t fight for his date? Sir Render.
Why was the hipster’s dating life so bad? Because he liked them before it was cool.
Why did the bicycle fall in love on its date? Because it was two-tired.
Why do mathematicians hate dating? Too many X’s and not enough Y’s.
What’s a smartphone’s biggest fear while dating? Being “left on read.”
Why did the bulb break up with the switch? It felt turned on all the time.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond? Because it found a “bay.”
Why don’t we ever see books dating? Because it always ends in “paperback.”
Why did the girl dump the baker? He was always half-baked.
Why did the girl dump the baseball player? He kept trying to steal bases.
Why did the baker go on a date with the doughnut? It had a sweet hole lot to offer.
Why did the girl break up with the road? It was always taking her for a ride.
What’s the best part of dating a goalie? They’re always there to catch you.
Why did the book date the page? Because it couldn’t resist the “write” one.
Why did the computer go on a date with the mouse? Because it clicked.
Why did the DJ break up with his girlfriend? Because she couldn’t handle his “mix.”
Why did the bee go on a date with the flower? It heard it was blooming.
Why don’t ghosts date other ghosts? They find them “boo-ring.”
Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend? He didn’t have a “bone” to pick.
Why did the girl break up with the artist? He drew too many conclusions.
Why did the cup break up with the coaster? It didn’t want to be “put down.”
Why did the race car break up with the road? It was always taken for a “spin.”
Why did the pirate break up with his girlfriend? She kept digging for gold.
Why did the chemist go on a date with Avogadro’s number? It had a lot of mole-ecules.
Why did the girl break up with the banker? He kept losing interest.
What did the light bulb say to his date? “I’m really glowing for you.”
Why did the comedian break up with his girlfriend? She didn’t get the joke.
Why did the cactus go on a date with the balloon? It wanted to get a little “popped.”
Why did the mountain date the valley? It fell for her “peak.”
Why did the elephant go on a date with the rhino? Because they had a lot in “tusk.”
Why did the ice cream break up with the cone? It felt too “scooped up.”
What’s a ghost’s favorite dating app? “Boo-mble.”
Why did the girl break up with the electrician? There were too many “shocking” moments.
Why did the lemon go on a date with the lime? It heard it was “zest” for life.
Why did the road break up with the car? It was always getting run over.
Why did the girl dump the chess player? He was always thinking about his next move.
Why did the moon break up with the sun? It needed some “space.”
Why did the boat go on a date with the river? It wanted to go with the flow.
Why did the clock break up with the time? It was too “second-hand.”
Why did the fish break up with the sea? It was feeling too “sea-sick.”
Why did the waterfall break up with the river? It was moving too fast.
Why did the pepper go on a date with the salt? It was feeling a little “salty.”
Why did the girl break up with the architect? He was always “building” up expectations.
Why did the egg break up with the pan? It was always getting “fried.”
Why did the girl break up with the clown? He was always “joking” around.
Why did the peanut break up with the jelly? It was too “spread out.”
Why did the calendar date the week? It had a lot of dates.
Why did the rainbow break up with the sky? It wanted more “color” in its life.
Why did the gardener go on a date with the rose? Because it was “rooting” for her.
Why did the girl break up with the physicist? He had too many “theories.”
Why did the envelope go on a date with the letter? It was “sealed” with a kiss.
Why did the traffic light go on a date with the car? Because it couldn’t “stop” thinking about it.
Why did the girl break up with the soccer player? He was always “kicking” things off.
Why did the bell break up with the ringer? It was getting too “clinged” on.
Why did the fruit break up with the basket? It was feeling too “picked” on.
Why did the girl break up with the astronaut? He was too “out of this world.”
Why did the girl break up with the card dealer? He was always dealing with issues.
Why did the volcano break up with the island? It was too “hot-tempered.”
Why did the burger break up with the fries? They were always “side by side.”
Why did the bird go on a date with the worm? It was early to catch her.
Why did the pen go on a date with the paper? It couldn’t resist her “lines.”
Why did the girl break up with the film director? He was always “cutting” her off.
Why did the key break up with the lock? It was too “manipulative.”
Why did the girl break up with the mathematician? He had too many “problems.”
Why did the shark break up with the fish? It was a bad “fin-fluence.”
Why did the leaf go on a date with the wind? It was swept off its feet.
Why did the girl break up with the jazz musician? He was always “improvising.”
Why did the sand go on a date with the wave? It wanted to “sea” more of her.
Why did the girl break up with the lawyer? He had too many “clauses.”
Why did the firefly break up with the lantern? It was too “bright” for her.
Why did the cowboy go on a date with the horse? He was looking for a stable relationship.
Why did the girl break up with the elevator? It had too many “ups and downs.”
Why did the bucket go on a date with the faucet? It was feeling “empty.”
Why did the girl break up with the gardener? He was always “beating around the bush.”
Why did the tennis ball go on a date with the racket? It was served right.
Why did the girl break up with the golfer? He was always “putting” her off.
Why did the watch go on a date with the time? It was “ticking” for her.
Why did the girl break up with the butcher? He was always “chopping” things up.
Why did the ruler go on a date with the pencil? It wanted to “draw” the line.
Why did the girl break up with the engineer? He was always “bridging” gaps.
Why did the snowflake go on a date with the snowball? It fell for it.
Why did the girl break up with the pilot? He was always “flying” off.
Why did the tractor go on a date with the plow? It was “tilling” it like it is.
Why did the girl break up with the miner? He had too many “layers.”
Why did the battery go on a date with the plug? It was “charged” up.
Why did the girl break up with the sailor? He was always “sailing” away.
Why did the sock go on a date with the shoe? It was “fit” for it.
Why did the girl break up with the chef? He was always “cooking” things up.
Why did the planet go on a date with the star? It was “attracted” to it.
Why did the girl break up with the tailor? He was always “cutting” corners.
Why did the violin go on a date with the bow? It had a “string” of feelings.
Why did the girl break up with the painter? He was always “painting” a picture.
Why did the dice go on a date with the board? It was a “game” of chance.
Why did the girl break up with the runner? He was always “racing” ahead.
Why did the door go on a date with the key? It was “locked” in love.
Why did the girl break up with the magician? He was always “disappearing.”
Why did the sweater go on a date with the coat? It wanted to “button” things up.
Why did the girl break up with the surgeon? He was always “cutting” in.
Why did the rain go on a date with the sun? It was looking for a “rainbow.”
Why did the girl break up with the baker? He was always “rolling” the dough.
Why did the needle go on a date with the thread? It was “sewn” in love.
Why did the girl break up with the drummer? He was always “beating” around.
Why did the spoon go on a date with the fork? It was “scooping” her off her feet.
Why did the girl break up with the baker? He was always “kneading” attention.
Why did the egg go on a date with the pan? It was “cracking” up with love.
Why did the girl break up with the writer? He was always “writing” things off.
Why did the pebble go on a date with the rock? It was “crushed.”
Why did the girl break up with the photographer? He was always “focusing” on other things.
Why did the chair go on a date with the table? It had “four legs” to stand on.
Why did the girl break up with the scientist? He had too many “experiments.”
Why did the plate go on a date with the fork? It was a “dish” he couldn’t resist.
Why did the girl break up with the carpenter? He was always “nailing” things.
Why did the ring go on a date with the finger? It was a “fit” made in heaven.
Why did the girl break up with the actor? He was always “playing” roles.
Why did the curtain go on a date with the window? It “fell” for it.
Why did the girl break up with the swimmer? He was always “diving” in.

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