150 waitress jokes
- Why did the waitress bring a ladder to the table? Because the customer asked for high tea.
- What did the hot dog say to the waitress? “Make me one with everything!”
- Why did the waitress win the lottery? Because she knew how to serve up the right numbers!
- How does a waitress catch a squirrel? She climbs a tree and acts like a nut.
- What’s a waitress’s favorite exercise? The tray-ceps curl.
- Why did the waitress go to art school? She wanted to perfect the art of “dishing” it out.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the waitress salad dressing!
- What do you call a waitress who works at a tiny diner? A small order cook.
- Why did the ghost go on a date with the waitress? Because he heard she was a real “soul” food cook!
- What does a waitress say when she serves a hamburger? “Meat to please you!”
- How do you know your waitress is a gardener? She always brings the “beets.”
- Why don’t waitresses ever play hide and seek with their tips? Because good luck hiding when they always keep the “change”!
- What did the steak say to the waitress? “I’m rare to go!”
- What did the waitress say to the sad pasta? “Life is full of pasta-bilities!”
- What did the waitress say to the toast? “You’re really on a roll.”
- Why did the pancake break up with the waitress? It got tired of being flipped around.
- Why did the waiter become a boxer? Because he was great at serving punches!
- What’s a waitress’s favorite music note? “B” flat – because it means the drinks didn’t spill.
- Why was the waitress also a great musician? She always knew the right “pitcher.”
- Why do waitresses make terrible secret agents? You always know their “serving” face.
- Why did the waitress carry a tennis racket? She heard the customers wanted to be served fast!
- Why was the waitress at the football game? She was delivering the quarter back!
- What did the potato say to the waitress? “I’m a little fried here.”
- Why did the waitress bring a baseball glove to work? Because the diner was full of catch-ups!
- Why did the cookie cry to the waitress? Because its mom was a wafer too long.
- Why was the waitress a great detective? She knew just how to dish out justice.
- Why don’t waitresses ever get lost in the desert? They know all the best watering holes.
- Why was the waitress also a chess champion? She knew all the right moves to checkmate.
- What do you call a kitten working as a waitress? A serv-cat.
- Why was the vampire a terrible waitress? She kept biting the customers.
- Why did the waitress bring glue to the table? The customer said his meal wasn’t sticking together.
- Why did the cow become a waitress? She was really good at moo-ving people to their seats.
- Why was the book a terrible waitress? It always spills the beans on the last page.
- Why did the waitress bring a flashlight to work? Because the customers asked for light meals.
- Why did the waitress put roller skates on? Because the customer wanted fast food.
- What do you call a waitress who can play the piano? A server with all the keys.
- Why did the waitress bring a calendar to the customer? Because he ordered dates!
- Why did the waitress take the steak’s temperature? She wanted to make sure it wasn’t too rare.
- What’s a waitress’s favorite school subject? Serving-metry!
- Why did the bicycle make a terrible waitress? It always needed to be re-spoked.
- What did the customer say to the indecisive waitress? “Take your time, I’m not in a ‘pour’.”
- Why did the waitress bring a compass to work? To point the customers due north.
- Why did the waitress wear a parachute? The customer wanted his eggs to ‘drop’ in.
- Why was the waitress a good therapist? She knew how to dish out advice.
- Why did the waitress carry a picture of a lamb? Because the customer wanted a lamb “pic.”
- Why was the waitress always calm during earthquakes? She could handle the “shakes.”
- What did the waitress say to the lime? “You add zest to my work!”
- Why did the waitress always bring a camera to work? She loved serving “picture” perfect meals.
- What’s a waitress’s favorite fruit? A ‘serve’-iceberry.
- Why was the clock a terrible waitress? It always wound up late.
- Why was the rainbow a bad waitress? It couldn’t stop spilling the colors.
- What’s a waitress’s favorite type of math? Pie-r-squared.
- Why was the waitress an expert in baseball? She was great at sliding into home plates.
- What do you call a waitress who serves you lemons? A sour server.
- Why did the tree become a waitress? It wanted to serve up some root beer.
- What’s a waitress’s favorite type of dog? A “bark-tender.”
- Why did the chef break up with the waitress? She always spilled the beans.
- Why did the light bulb make a terrible waitress? It kept going out on the customers.
- Why did the monkey make a great waitress? She knew how to serve up some monkey bread.
- Why was the waitress a track star? She knew how to relay orders.
- What’s a waitress’s favorite type of horse? A “neigh-borly” server.
- What do you call a waitress who can sing? A dish-er-monizer.
- Why did the donut go on a date with the waitress? She had a lot of “hole-some” qualities.
- Why did the fish make a bad waitress? She kept dropping the bass.
- What’s a waitress’s favorite part of a joke? The “punch” line.
- Why was the computer a bad waitress? It had too many bytes.
- Why was the bank teller a terrible waitress? She was too “change”-able.
- Why did the waitress bring an elephant to the table? The customer wanted a big tipper.
- Why did the waitress put a ruler on the customer’s table? He asked for something to measure his drink.
- Why was the scarecrow a great waitress? She was outstanding in her field!
- Why was the rock a bad waitress? It always took things for granite.
- What did the sassy waitress say to the coffee? “You’re brewed-tiful, just the way you are.”
- What’s a waitress’s favorite type of bee? A “buzzer-vee.”
- Why did the waitress go to the beach? She wanted to serve up some “sand-wiches.”
- Why did the waitress go to the circus? She wanted to juggle orders.
- Why was the sock a terrible waitress? It always lost its “pair-ings.”
- What’s a waitress’s favorite type of car? A “dine-r” wagon.
- Why was the waitress an architect? She always knew how to plan the table.
- What do you call a waitress with a large pad of paper? A mega-serve.
- Why did the waitress wear a helmet? Because she served hard-boiled eggs.
- Why did the waitress bring a mirror to the table? The customer asked for some “reflection” time.
- Why was the dentist a good waitress? She knew the drill when it came to service.
- Why was the spider a great waitress? She knew how to spin a web of great service.
- Why did the actress make a terrible waitress? She always forgot her lines.
- Why did the mailbox make a terrible waitress? It couldn’t deliver on time.
- Why was the painting a good waitress? It always stroked the right mood.
- Why was the bird a good waitress? She always chirped in with the right order.
- Why was the mirror a bad waitress? It always reflected the wrong order.
- Why was the cat a terrible waitress? She always “paw”-s for too long.
- What do you call a waitress who’s good at yoga? A “flexi-serve.”
- Why was the snowflake a good waitress? She always “flurried” to serve you.
- Why was the window a bad waitress? It always “pane-d” at the sight of customers.
- Why was the hammer a good waitress? It always “nailed” the order.
- Why was the candle a bad waitress? It always “melted” under pressure.
- What did the moody waitress say to the rainbow? “Can you brighten up my shift?”
- What’s a waitress’s favorite type of flower? A “serve”-ringa.
- Why did the waitress bring a map to the customer? He ordered a “globe”-artichoke.
- What do you call a waitress who works at an ice-cream shop? A “scoop”-er server.
- What’s a waitress’s favorite type of music? Pop, because it’s always “bubbling” with energy.
- What did the cool waitress say to the ice cube? “Chill out, I got this.”
- Why was the sea a good waitress? It always waved to the customers.
- Why did the math teacher become a waitress? She was good at “serving” fractions.
- What do you call a bear working as a waitress? A honey-server.
- Why was the rabbit a great waitress? She was always hopping to it!
- Why was the seagull a bad waitress? She always flew off with the food.
- Why was the tortoise a good waitress? She was slow and steady, and always got the order right.
- Why was the cloud a bad waitress? It kept raining on the customers.
- Why did the mushroom make a good waitress? Because she was a real “fungi” to be around.
- Why did the astronaut become a waitress? She wanted to serve up some “stellar” dishes.
- Why did the sunflower make a good waitress? Because she always turned to serve you.
- Why did the rainbow make a bad waitress? It kept serving up too many colors.
- What’s a waitress’s favorite part of a plant? The “serve”-istem.
- Why was the ant a good waitress? She always had a great work ethic.
- Why was the clock a bad waitress? It was always too wound up.
- Why was the leaf a good waitress? She always “turned over” quickly.
- Why was the snow a bad waitress? It always melted under pressure.
- Why was the penguin a good waitress? She always kept her cool.
- Why was the squirrel a bad waitress? She kept forgetting where she hid her orders.
- Why did the tree make a good waitress? She always knew how to “branch” out.
- Why was the computer a good waitress? She always had the right “bytes.”
- What’s a waitress’s favorite type of bird? A “serve”-inga.
- Why was the potato a good waitress? She always knew how to “mash” up a good meal.
- Why was the feather a bad waitress? It always “floated” away from the job.
- Why did the snake make a bad waitress? It was always “hiss”-ing off the customers.
- Why was the egg a good waitress? It always “cracked” the best yolk.
- Why was the kettle a bad waitress? It always blew its top.
- Why was the car a good waitress? It always knew how to “accelerate” the service.
- Why was the telephone a bad waitress? It always “rang” at the wrong time.
- Why was the bird a good waitress? She always “tweeted” about the daily special.
- Why was the lion a bad waitress? It always “roared” at the customers.
- Why was the pen a good waitress? It always “wrote” down the correct order.
- Why was the lamp a bad waitress? It always “lit” up at the wrong time.
- Why was the star a good waitress? She always “shone” at her work.
- Why was the fire a bad waitress? It was always too “hot” to handle.
- Why was the dolphin a good waitress? It always “clicked” with the customers.
- Why was the refrigerator a bad waitress? It always gave the customers a cold shoulder.
- Why was the cloud a good waitress? It always “rained” in tips.
- Why was the cheetah a bad waitress? It always ran off with the order.
- Why was the river a good waitress? It always “flowed” smoothly through the rush hour.
- Why was the mountain a bad waitress? It always “peaked” at the wrong time.
- Why was the flower a good waitress? It always “bloomed” in the morning shift.
- Why was the volcano a bad waitress? It always “erupted” during the lunch rush.
- Why was the bee a good waitress? It always “buzzed” around efficiently.
- Why was the spider a bad waitress? It always “webbed” the tables.
- Why was the tree a good waitress? It always served a “root”-beer float.
- Why was the wind a bad waitress? It always “blew” the orders away.
- Why was the moon a good waitress? It always “glowed” in the night shift.
- Why was the desert a bad waitress? It always “sanded” down the customer’s patience.
- Why was the butterfly a good waitress? It always “fluttered” through the tables.
- Why was the stone a bad waitress? It always took orders for “granite.”