100 Funny Tip Jokes

Laughter is the best medicine, they say, and what better way to tickle your funny bone than with a collection of hilarious tip jokes? These jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face and brighten up your day. From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, these jokes will have you chuckling in no time.

So sit back, relax, and get ready for a dose of laughter as we delve into the world of funny tip jokes.

Here’re The Top 100 Funny Tip Jokes:

1. Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything!
2. Why don’t scientists trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something.
3. Pro tip: If you can’t fix it with duct tape, you’re not using enough duct tape.
4. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
5. Why don’t eggs share their secrets? Because they might crack up!
6. Pro tip: Never trust a cat, they always have a “purr-spective” on everything!
7. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
8. Why don’t we ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it!
9. Pro tip: To avoid getting lost, just follow your nose. It’s always ahead of you!
10. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
11. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
12. Pro tip: Never challenge a dinosaur to a game of hide and seek. They’re a “dino-saur” loser!
13. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
14. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
15. Pro tip: Don’t trust a calendar, its days are numbered!
16. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
17. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
18. Pro tip: Never eat a clock. It’s too time-consuming!
19. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
20. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
21. Pro tip: If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
22. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up a pair of pants!
23. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
24. Pro tip: Always give 100%… unless you’re donating blood.
25. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
26. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
27. Pro tip: Don’t trust people who do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers!
28. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
29. Why did the golfer bring two pants? In case he got a hole in one.
30. Pro tip: If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic!
31. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy!
32. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
33. Pro tip: Don’t be sad when a battery dies, it had a good, long charge of life.
34. Why don’t we tell secrets in corn fields? There are too many ears.
35. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
36. Pro tip: Never argue with a 90-degree angle, it’s always right!
37. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
38. What’s a bear with no teeth called? A gummy bear.
39. Pro tip: When nothing is going right, go left!
40. What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The trom-bone.
41. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
42. Pro tip: If you’re cold, stand in a corner. It’s 90 degrees.
43. Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
44. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
45. Pro tip: Borrow money from a pessimist, they’ll never expect it back.
46. What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
47. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb!
48. Pro tip: If you want to catch a squirrel, just act like a nut!
49. How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away its credit card.
50. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
51. Pro tip: Be careful around math teachers, they can be very calculating!
52. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
53. Why was the math book stressed? Because it had too many problems.
54. Pro tip: Don’t play hide and seek with mountains, they always peak!
55. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
56. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
57. Pro tip: If you ever get cold, stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees.
58. Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk!
59. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
60. Pro tip: I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with. She said, “Yes, the others were at least sevens or eights.”
61. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he was outstanding in his field!
62. How do you turn soup into gold? Add 24 carrots.
63. Pro tip: Age is just a number. Unfortunately for many, it’s a very high number!
64. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
65. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
66. Pro tip: The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
67. Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
68. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
69. Pro tip: If you think you’re going crazy, don’t worry. Craziness is like heaven; you get there and you’re surprised by all the friends you meet!
70. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
71. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
72. Pro tip: If you are what you eat, then I’m fast, cheap, and easy!
73. Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because it was a fun-gi!
74. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
75. Pro tip: You know you’re lazy when you get excited about cancelled plans.
76. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
77. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
78. Pro tip: Never play hide and seek with a mountain, they always peak!
79. What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
80. What did the policeman say to his belly button? You’re under a vest!
81. Pro tip: If you can’t think of a word, say, “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.
82. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
83. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
84. Pro tip: Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy chocolate, which is kind of the same thing.
85. Why was the computer cold at work? It left its Windows open!
86. Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
87. Pro tip: Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
88. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
89. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
90. Pro tip: When in doubt, mumble.
91. Why don’t we tell secrets on the farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk!
92. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
93. Pro tip: My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry.
94. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
95. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
96. Pro tip: If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
97. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
98. Why did the golfer bring two pants? In case he got a hole in one.
99. Pro tip: Be careful around math teachers, they can be very calculating!
100. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb!

Conclusion

We hope these funny tip jokes have brought a little joy and laughter into your day. Humor has a way of lifting our spirits and bringing people together, and these jokes certainly do just that.

Whether it’s a play on words, a clever pun, or a silly scenario, the power of laughter is undeniable. So the next time you need a quick pick-me-up or want to share a laugh with friends, remember these funny tip jokes. After all, as they say, laughter is contagious, and there’s always room for a good chuckle in our lives.