150 ups jokes

  1. Why don’t UPS workers play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when your alarm clock is a doorbell!
  2. What’s a UPS driver’s favorite type of music? “Heavy” metal because they’re used to carrying those heavy packages!
  3. Why did the UPS truck break up with the mailbox? Because it felt too boxed in.
  4. Why don’t UPS trucks play football? They always worry about missing the delivery.
  5. Why did the UPS truck go to therapy? It had too many ‘package’ issues.
  6. What’s a UPS driver’s favorite note? “B” for “Box”.
  7. How do UPS drivers say hello to their dog? “Parcel!” because it sounds like “Percy!”
  8. Why did the UPS truck stop writing? It ran out of paper for parcels.
  9. Why did the UPS truck join the circus? Because life on the road was too much of a balancing act.
  10. Why don’t UPS trucks get lonely? Because they’re always out delivering packages.
  11. How does a UPS truck ask its crush out? “I couldn’t help but notice, we’re both in ‘ship-ping.”
  12. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of exercise? Box lifts.
  13. Why do UPS drivers never get lost? Because they always have a “package” to guide them.
  14. What do you call a well-dressed UPS driver? “Parcel” of the elite.
  15. Why was the UPS driver a great magician? He always knew how to deliver the final ‘package’.
  16. What’s a UPS driver’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because of all the boxes.
  17. Why did the UPS driver become a gardener? He was good at ‘planting’ packages.
  18. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of cake? A bundt, because it’s round like a tire.
  19. Why did the UPS truck go to the dance? To show off its delivery moves.
  20. How does a UPS truck propose? “Will you be my ‘forever delivery’?”
  21. Why did the UPS truck join the orchestra? Because it had perfect ‘delivery’ timing.
  22. What do UPS trucks do at a party? Deliver the fun.
  23. Why did the UPS driver become a chef? He was great at ‘delivering’ the main course.
  24. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of dog? A Boxer, of course.
  25. Why do UPS trucks make terrible comedians? Because their delivery is always too fast.
  26. Why do UPS drivers never play tag? They’re always it because they’ve always got something to deliver.
  27. Why did the UPS truck go to the beach? It needed a break from delivering boxes.
  28. What’s a UPS driver’s favorite type of tea? Parcel tea, it helps them relax after a long day of delivery.
  29. Why did the UPS truck go to the desert? To make a ‘sand’ delivery.
  30. What do UPS trucks do on their day off? Unpack their feelings.
  31. How do UPS drivers stay in shape? They lift packages, not weights.
  32. Why was the UPS truck sad? Because it was tired of being boxed in.
  33. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite board game? Sorry, because they’re always apologizing for late deliveries.
  34. How do you know a UPS truck is happy? When it’s in “ship shape”.
  35. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite song? “Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours,” by Stevie Wonder.
  36. Why did the UPS truck go to the restaurant? Because it heard there was free ‘delivery’.
  37. How does a UPS driver flirt? “Can I deliver you a compliment?”
  38. Why did the UPS truck become a poet? Because it mastered the ‘delivery’ of words.
  39. Why are UPS trucks bad at chess? Because they can’t handle the ‘checkmate’ delivery.
  40. What does a UPS truck do on its birthday? Celebrate with a ‘special delivery’.
  41. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite city? “Pack”-istan.
  42. Why did the UPS truck join the circus? It wanted to show off its juggling act with packages.
  43. How does a UPS truck ask for a raise? “I’ve made countless successful deliveries”.
  44. Why did the UPS truck go to the spa? It needed a ‘package’ deal.
  45. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite day of the week? ‘Pack’-day.
  46. Why do UPS trucks make great detectives? They always know where to deliver justice.
  47. How does a UPS truck apologize? “Sorry for the late delivery”.
  48. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite piece of furniture? The delivery table.
  49. Why did the UPS driver go on a diet? Too many heavy ‘packages’.
  50. What does a UPS truck wear to a wedding? A tuxedo with a ‘special delivery’ bow tie.
  51. How do UPS trucks like their coffee? With ‘express delivery’.
  52. Why did the UPS truck go to the party? It heard there would be a ‘parcel’ of fun.
  53. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of pasta? Farfalle, because it looks like a package bow.
  54. Why was the UPS truck bad at poker? Its poker face was a ‘delivery’ giveaway.
  55. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of joke? One with a good ‘delivery’.
  56. Why don’t UPS trucks like baseball? The packages always get thrown out at home.
  57. How does a UPS truck deal with stress? It ‘boxes’ it out.
  58. Why did the UPS driver join the military? He was an expert at ‘delivering’ under pressure.
  59. Why did the UPS truck go to school? It wanted to improve its ‘delivery’ of knowledge.
  60. Why don’t UPS drivers need maps? Because they always follow the ‘delivery’ path.
  61. Why did the UPS truck join the gym? It wanted to work on its ‘package’ abs.
  62. Why was the UPS truck a bad cook? It always rushed the ‘delivery’.
  63. How does a UPS driver like their pizza? Delivered, of course.
  64. Why did the UPS truck get a speeding ticket? It was too eager to make the ‘delivery’.
  65. Why did the UPS driver become a politician? He knew how to ‘deliver’ a speech.
  66. How do UPS trucks like their steak? Well ‘delivered’.
  67. Why did the UPS truck go to the zoo? It heard the penguins needed a ‘package’.
  68. How does a UPS driver ask someone to prom? “Can I ‘deliver’ you to prom?”
  69. Why was the UPS truck a good teacher? It had perfect ‘delivery’ of lessons.
  70. How does a UPS truck say goodbye? “I’ll ‘deliver’ you my best wishes.”
  71. Why did the UPS truck go to the movies? It wanted to see ‘The Fast and the Furious: Delivery Drift’.
  72. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of bird? The ‘delivery’ pigeon.
  73. Why did the UPS truck visit the dentist? It needed a ‘tooth’ delivery.
  74. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite sport? ‘Box’-ing.
  75. Why did the UPS truck go to the museum? It wanted to deliver some culture.
  76. Why was the UPS truck a good actor? It mastered the ‘delivery’ of lines.
  77. How does a UPS truck get into a locked house? It uses the ‘delivery’ key.
  78. Why did the UPS truck go to the opera? It loved the ‘delivery’ of the arias.
  79. How do UPS drivers like their eggs? ‘Delivered’ sunny-side up.
  80. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite dance? The box step.
  81. Why did the UPS truck become a therapist? It was good at ‘delivering’ advice.
  82. Why did the UPS truck go to the amusement park? It heard there was a ‘delivery’ roller coaster.
  83. How do UPS drivers like their bread? Freshly ‘delivered’.
  84. Why did the UPS truck get an award? For ‘delivery’ of excellence.
  85. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of fish? The ‘delivery’ dolphin.
  86. Why was the UPS truck a great lawyer? It ‘delivered’ justice.
  87. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of tree? The ‘delivery’ pine.
  88. How does a UPS truck celebrate New Year? With a ‘special delivery’ countdown.
  89. Why did the UPS truck go to the bakery? It heard there was a ‘delivery’ of fresh croissants.
  90. Why was the UPS truck a good singer? It had a strong ‘delivery’.
  91. How does a UPS truck say I love you? “I will ‘deliver’ my love to you”.
  92. Why was the UPS truck a great journalist? It knew how to ‘deliver’ news.
  93. How do UPS trucks prefer their sandwiches? ‘Wrapped’ and ‘delivered’.
  94. Why did the UPS truck go to the football game? It heard there was a ‘special delivery’ at halftime.
  95. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of flower? The ‘delivery’ daisy.
  96. Why was the UPS truck a great dancer? It had ‘package’ of moves.
  97. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of weather? ‘Delivery’ drizzle.
  98. Why did the UPS truck join the marathon? It wanted to ‘deliver’ a win.
  99. Why was the UPS truck a good DJ? It ‘delivered’ the beats.
  100. How does a UPS truck make a promise? “I ‘deliver’ my word to you”.
  101. Why did the UPS truck go to the concert? It wanted to ‘deliver’ applause.
  102. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of candy? The ‘delivery’ delight.
  103. Why was the UPS truck a great storyteller? It knew how to ‘deliver’ the punchline.
  104. How does a UPS truck like their soup? Piping hot and ‘delivered’.
  105. Why did the UPS truck become a writer? It had a ‘delivery’ of words.
  106. How does a UPS driver get over a breakup? They pack up their feelings and move on.
  107. Why was the UPS truck a great psychiatrist? It understood the ‘delivery’ of emotions.
  108. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of drink? The ‘delivery’ daiquiri.
  109. Why was the UPS truck a great astronomer? It ‘delivered’ starlight.
  110. How does a UPS truck confess its love? “I’m ready to ‘deliver’ my heart”.
  111. Why did the UPS truck go to the farm? It wanted to ‘deliver’ the crops.
  112. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of book? ‘Delivery’ diaries.
  113. Why was the UPS truck a great architect? It knew how to ‘deliver’ the blueprint.
  114. How do UPS drivers prefer their holidays? With a ‘special delivery’ of joy.
  115. Why did the UPS truck go to the skating rink? It wanted to ‘deliver’ some cool moves.
  116. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of ice cream? ‘Delivery’ delight.
  117. Why was the UPS truck a great artist? It ‘delivered’ the colors.
  118. How does a UPS truck cheer someone up? “Let me ‘deliver’ you a smile”.
  119. Why did the UPS truck go to the fashion show? It wanted to ‘deliver’ style.
  120. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of bug? The ‘delivery’ beetle.
  121. Why was the UPS truck a great philosopher? It ‘delivered’ wisdom.
  122. How does a UPS truck like their steak? ‘Delivered’ medium rare.
  123. Why did the UPS truck go to the gym? It wanted to ‘deliver’ a knockout punch.
  124. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of hat? The ‘delivery’ derby.
  125. Why was the UPS truck a great scientist? It ‘delivered’ theories.
  126. How does a UPS truck celebrate a victory? With a ‘special delivery’ dance.
  127. Why did the UPS truck go to the fair? It heard there was a ‘delivery’ ferris wheel.
  128. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of cookie? ‘Delivery’ delight.
  129. Why was the UPS truck a great historian? It ‘delivered’ the past.
  130. How does a UPS truck make friends? “Let me ‘deliver’ my friendship”.
  131. Why did the UPS truck go to the forest? It wanted to ‘deliver’ the wild.
  132. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of pasta? ‘Delivery’ delight.
  133. Why was the UPS truck a great chemist? It ‘delivered’ reactions.
  134. How does a UPS truck like their juice? Freshly ‘delivered’.
  135. Why did the UPS truck go to the park? It wanted to ‘deliver’ the picnic.
  136. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of game? ‘Delivery’ delight.
  137. Why was the UPS truck a great mathematician? It ‘delivered’ equations.
  138. How does a UPS truck compliment someone? “You’re as reliable as my ‘deliveries'”.
  139. Why did the UPS truck go to the haunted house? It wanted to ‘deliver’ the thrills.
  140. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of dessert? ‘Delivery’ delight.
  141. Why was the UPS truck a great physicist? It ‘delivered’ forces.
  142. How does a UPS truck like their mornings? With a ‘delivery’ of fresh air.
  143. Why did the UPS truck go to the beach? It wanted to ‘deliver’ the sunshine.
  144. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of sandwich? ‘Delivery’ delight.
  145. Why was the UPS truck a great economist? It ‘delivered’ the market trends.
  146. How does a UPS truck celebrate Christmas? With a ‘special delivery’ of gifts.
  147. Why did the UPS truck go to the library? It wanted to ‘deliver’ the books.
  148. What’s a UPS truck’s favorite type of fruit? ‘Delivery’ delight.
  149. Why was the UPS truck a great geologist? It ‘delivered’ the rocks.
  150. How does a UPS truck like to end its day? With a ‘special delivery’ of relaxation.

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