150 steak jokes

  1. Why don’t steaks ever tell secrets? They’re afraid they might get grilled.
  2. What do you call a cow after it’s delivered a baby? De-calf-inated!
  3. Why was the steak a great comedian? It always had the perfect ‘rare’ of delivery.
  4. Why did the steak go to therapy? It had too many ‘seared’ memories.
  5. Why did the steak go to the party? To ‘meat’ new people!
  6. What does a steak say when it’s introduced? “Well done, I’m rare.”
  7. How does a steak catch a squirrel? By acting like a ‘nut cutlet.’
  8. Why did the chef give the steak a timeout? It was too ‘rare’ly behaving.
  9. Why do steaks make terrible secret agents? They always get ‘burned.’
  10. Why was the steak so excited about the weekend? It couldn’t wait to be BBQ-ed.
  11. Why did the steak go to school? To get a little more ‘seasoned.’
  12. Why did the steak apply for a job? It wanted to bring home the ‘bacon.’
  13. What’s a steak’s favorite movie? “Fry Hard.”
  14. Why did the steak break up with its girlfriend? She said he was too ‘chewy.’
  15. Why was the steak always early? It hated being ‘overcooked.’
  16. Why do steaks love camping? They enjoy being ‘flame-grilled.’
  17. What do you call a steak that sings? Beef Harmony.
  18. Why don’t steaks play hide and seek? They always get ‘foundue.’
  19. What’s a steak’s favorite exercise? ‘Curling’ in the pan.
  20. What do you call a steak that’s been to space? An ‘unidentified frying object.’
  21. How does a steak apologize? “I’m sorry if I’ve ‘beef’en wrong.”
  22. What’s a steak’s favorite sport? ‘Marbling.’
  23. What does a steak wear to a fancy event? A ‘dinner roast.’
  24. Why are steaks so good at math? They know all the ‘angles’ of a grill.
  25. What do you call a cow who paints? A ‘steak’ artist.
  26. Why did the steak cross the road? It was ‘escaping’ the kitchen.
  27. What do you call a steak that’s lost its job? ‘Ground’ beef.
  28. Why was the steak upset with the vegetables? They were always ‘stirring’ up trouble.
  29. Why did the steak file a police report? It got ‘peppered.’
  30. Why did the steak break up with the bun? It felt ‘smothered.’
  31. What did the steak say at the barbecue? “I’m on a ‘roll’!”
  32. Why was the steak a great investigator? It always got to the ‘meat’ of the matter.
  33. Why was the steak at the top of the class? It was ‘a cut above.’
  34. What do you call a philosophical steak? Deep ‘fried.’
  35. Why was the steak in a rock band? It loved to ‘grill’ and roll.
  36. Why did the steak study law? It wanted to ‘grill’ the witnesses.
  37. What’s a steak’s favorite dance? The ‘mash’ potato.
  38. Why was the steak so good at poker? It always had a ‘poker face.’
  39. What do you call a steak with no friends? ‘Isolated’ protein.
  40. Why was the steak unhappy? It was ‘tender’hearted.
  41. What does a steak do when it retires? It ‘hangs up’ its apron.
  42. What did the steak say to the potato? “I’ve got a ‘beef’ with you!”
  43. Why was the steak always in trouble? It had a ‘t-bone’ to pick with everyone.
  44. Why did the steak go to the dentist? It had a ‘grill’ problem.
  45. Why did the steak go to the opera? It loved ‘barbecue’ni.
  46. What’s a steak’s favorite book? “To Grill a Mockingbird.”
  47. Why did the steak start a blog? To share its ‘sizzling’ stories.
  48. Why did the steak go to the dance? It heard there was a ‘barbecue’ shuffle.
  49. What do you call a steak that tells bad jokes? ‘Corny’ beef.
  50. Why did the steak move to the city? To avoid the ‘country’ frying.
  51. Why was the steak so smart? It was ‘well done.’
  52. Why did the steak become an architect? It was good at ‘building’ flavors.
  53. What did the steak say to the chicken? “Don’t be such a ‘chicken,’ come join the grill.”
  54. Why do steaks hate winter? They get ‘frostbitten.’
  55. What’s a steak’s favorite band? The ‘Grill’ing Stones.
  56. Why was the steak always winning? It played its ‘rare’ cards right.
  57. Why did the steak join the circus? It loved being ‘under the big top’ sirloin.
  58. What do you call a steak that’s a good listener? ‘Lean’ beef.
  59. Why do steaks make bad secretaries? They’re always ‘miss-steak’ing.
  60. Why was the steak always stressed? It was ‘underdone.’
  61. What’s a steak’s favorite game? ‘Hide and ‘meat.”
  62. Why did the steak become a detective? It wanted to solve the ‘mystery meat.’
  63. What do you call a steak that’s an artist? A ‘palette’ knife.
  64. Why did the steak join the navy? It wanted to be a ‘sirloin’ seaman.
  65. Why was the steak always fashionable? It had ‘good taste.’
  66. Why do steaks love playing chess? They love saying ‘check, mate.’
  67. What’s a steak’s favorite song? “I Will Always Love ‘Ewe.'”
  68. What do you call a steak that’s stuck in a fence? A “prime cut.”
  69. Why was the steak so excited for Halloween? It wanted to be a “Ghoul-lash.”
  70. Why don’t steaks start fights? They prefer to “meat” in the middle.
  71. What’s a steak’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day.
  72. Why did the steak join a band? It heard they needed more “beefy” tunes.
  73. What do you call a steak that likes to take pictures? A “shutter-bug-er.”
  74. Why don’t steaks use public transportation? They hate the “meat-ro.”
  75. What did the steak say to the lonesome burger? “Where’s your “bun”-panion?”
  76. What’s a steak’s favorite city? New “Yorkshire.”
  77. Why did the steak go to the music concert? To see the “baste” drop.
  78. What’s a steak’s favorite instrument? The “meat”lophone.
  79. Why do steaks make bad politicians? They often flip-flop.
  80. Why was the steak always working overtime? It wanted to be “well-done.”
  81. What did the steak say to the griller? “I’m ready to “sizzle.”
  82. What’s a steak’s favorite dance? The “meatball.”
  83. Why did the steak enroll in art school? It wanted to draw out its flavor.
  84. What do you call a steak that’s gone bad? A “miss-steak.”
  85. What’s a steak’s favorite holiday? “Meat”orial day.
  86. Why did the steak break into song? It had “bun”t up emotions.
  87. Why did the steak become a teacher? It had “grade” A beef.
  88. What did the steak say to the veggie burger? “I don’t “meat” your standards.”
  89. What’s a steak’s favorite roller coaster? The “beef” dipper.
  90. Why was the steak always on time? It hated to be “rare.”
  91. What did the steak say at the carnival? “I’m “udderly” excited.”
  92. What’s a steak’s favorite toy? A “barbie”-cue grill.
  93. Why did the steak become a rapper? It loved “beef” beats.
  94. What do you call a steak that’s a doctor? A “sir-loin” surgeon.
  95. Why did the steak join the choir? It had a great “bass” of flavor.
  96. What do you call a steak that tells fortunes? A “medium-rare” psychic.
  97. What’s a steak’s favorite nursery rhyme? “Patty Cake.”
  98. Why did the steak become a poet? It had a “rare” talent.
  99. What do you call a steak that’s a movie star? “Sir-loin” Connery.
  100. Why did the steak join the gym? It wanted to get “beefed” up.
  101. What did the steak say to the fries? “We’re a “grate” pair.”
  102. Why did the steak move to Hollywood? It wanted to star in “grilled” cheese sandwiches.
  103. What’s a steak’s favorite sport? “Marble”-ing.
  104. Why did the steak get a ticket? It didn’t “steer” clear of the traffic rules.
  105. What’s a steak’s favorite superhero? “Meat”eor Man.
  106. Why did the steak break into the bakery? It wanted to be a “beef” Wellington.
  107. What’s a steak’s favorite game? “Rump”y.
  108. Why did the steak refuse to play cards? It was afraid of the “dealer’s cut.”
  109. What do you call a steak that’s a lawyer? A “legal tender-loin.”
  110. Why did the steak join the circus? It loved being in the “center ring.”
  111. What’s a steak’s favorite exercise? The “flank” lift.
  112. Why did the steak go to the casino? It wanted to play “poker.”
  113. What’s a steak’s favorite vacation spot? “Barbados”-cue.
  114. Why was the steak always partying? It was a “rump” roaster.
  115. What do you call a steak that’s a spy? “Under-cover” meat.
  116. What did the steak say to the grill? “I’m “sizzling” hot.”
  117. What’s a steak’s favorite book? “Catch-22 Ounces.”
  118. Why did the steak go to the library? It wanted to “check out” cookbooks.
  119. What do you call a steak that’s a philosopher? “Thinker” bell steak.
  120. Why did the steak go to the beach? It wanted to be a “sandwich.”
  121. What’s a steak’s favorite dance move? The “hip-hop.”
  122. Why did the steak refuse to race? It was a “slow roast.”
  123. What’s a steak’s favorite animal? A “beefalo.”
  124. Why did the steak break into the bank? It wanted to make a “withdrawl.”
  125. What do you call a steak that’s an author? “J.K. Roastling.”
  126. What’s a steak’s favorite music? “Bop”-BQ.
  127. Why did the steak go to the zoo? It wanted to see the “grill”-las.
  128. What do you call a steak that’s a comedian? “Beef” Carlin.
  129. What’s a steak’s favorite sitcom? “Friends Well Done.”
  130. Why did the steak become a mechanic? It loved “tune-ups.”
  131. What do you call a steak that’s a magician? “Sir-loin” the Great.
  132. What’s a steak’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Four-tune.”
  133. Why did the steak become a gardener? It loved “plant-based” meals.
  134. What do you call a steak that’s a pilot? “Fly”ing beef.
  135. What’s a steak’s favorite accessory? “Bracelet of garlic.”
  136. Why did the steak become a reporter? It loved to “grill” interviewees.
  137. What do you call a steak that’s a singer? “Meat”loaf.
  138. What’s a steak’s favorite car? “Rump”-ler.
  139. Why did the steak become a mailman? It loved “delivering.”
  140. What do you call a steak that’s a dancer? “Twirling” beef.
  141. What’s a steak’s favorite candy? “Candy cane” steak.
  142. Why did the steak go to the doctor? It had “grilled” pains.
  143. What do you call a steak that’s a scientist? “Einstein” cut.
  144. What’s a steak’s favorite holiday destination? “Sear”-chelles.
  145. Why did the steak join a fraternity? It loved “bro”-iling.
  146. What do you call a steak that’s a movie director? “Sear”-ge Lucas.
  147. What’s a steak’s favorite drink? “Bloody” Mary.
  148. Why did the steak go to the moon? It wanted to be a “lunar” luncheon.
  149. What do you call a steak that’s an astronaut? “Neil Arm-stronganoff.”
  150. What’s a steak’s favorite nursery rhyme? “This Little Piggy Went to Market.”

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