150 steak jokes
- Why don’t steaks ever tell secrets? They’re afraid they might get grilled.
- What do you call a cow after it’s delivered a baby? De-calf-inated!
- Why was the steak a great comedian? It always had the perfect ‘rare’ of delivery.
- Why did the steak go to therapy? It had too many ‘seared’ memories.
- Why did the steak go to the party? To ‘meat’ new people!
- What does a steak say when it’s introduced? “Well done, I’m rare.”
- How does a steak catch a squirrel? By acting like a ‘nut cutlet.’
- Why did the chef give the steak a timeout? It was too ‘rare’ly behaving.
- Why do steaks make terrible secret agents? They always get ‘burned.’
- Why was the steak so excited about the weekend? It couldn’t wait to be BBQ-ed.
- Why did the steak go to school? To get a little more ‘seasoned.’
- Why did the steak apply for a job? It wanted to bring home the ‘bacon.’
- What’s a steak’s favorite movie? “Fry Hard.”
- Why did the steak break up with its girlfriend? She said he was too ‘chewy.’
- Why was the steak always early? It hated being ‘overcooked.’
- Why do steaks love camping? They enjoy being ‘flame-grilled.’
- What do you call a steak that sings? Beef Harmony.
- Why don’t steaks play hide and seek? They always get ‘foundue.’
- What’s a steak’s favorite exercise? ‘Curling’ in the pan.
- What do you call a steak that’s been to space? An ‘unidentified frying object.’
- How does a steak apologize? “I’m sorry if I’ve ‘beef’en wrong.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite sport? ‘Marbling.’
- What does a steak wear to a fancy event? A ‘dinner roast.’
- Why are steaks so good at math? They know all the ‘angles’ of a grill.
- What do you call a cow who paints? A ‘steak’ artist.
- Why did the steak cross the road? It was ‘escaping’ the kitchen.
- What do you call a steak that’s lost its job? ‘Ground’ beef.
- Why was the steak upset with the vegetables? They were always ‘stirring’ up trouble.
- Why did the steak file a police report? It got ‘peppered.’
- Why did the steak break up with the bun? It felt ‘smothered.’
- What did the steak say at the barbecue? “I’m on a ‘roll’!”
- Why was the steak a great investigator? It always got to the ‘meat’ of the matter.
- Why was the steak at the top of the class? It was ‘a cut above.’
- What do you call a philosophical steak? Deep ‘fried.’
- Why was the steak in a rock band? It loved to ‘grill’ and roll.
- Why did the steak study law? It wanted to ‘grill’ the witnesses.
- What’s a steak’s favorite dance? The ‘mash’ potato.
- Why was the steak so good at poker? It always had a ‘poker face.’
- What do you call a steak with no friends? ‘Isolated’ protein.
- Why was the steak unhappy? It was ‘tender’hearted.
- What does a steak do when it retires? It ‘hangs up’ its apron.
- What did the steak say to the potato? “I’ve got a ‘beef’ with you!”
- Why was the steak always in trouble? It had a ‘t-bone’ to pick with everyone.
- Why did the steak go to the dentist? It had a ‘grill’ problem.
- Why did the steak go to the opera? It loved ‘barbecue’ni.
- What’s a steak’s favorite book? “To Grill a Mockingbird.”
- Why did the steak start a blog? To share its ‘sizzling’ stories.
- Why did the steak go to the dance? It heard there was a ‘barbecue’ shuffle.
- What do you call a steak that tells bad jokes? ‘Corny’ beef.
- Why did the steak move to the city? To avoid the ‘country’ frying.
- Why was the steak so smart? It was ‘well done.’
- Why did the steak become an architect? It was good at ‘building’ flavors.
- What did the steak say to the chicken? “Don’t be such a ‘chicken,’ come join the grill.”
- Why do steaks hate winter? They get ‘frostbitten.’
- What’s a steak’s favorite band? The ‘Grill’ing Stones.
- Why was the steak always winning? It played its ‘rare’ cards right.
- Why did the steak join the circus? It loved being ‘under the big top’ sirloin.
- What do you call a steak that’s a good listener? ‘Lean’ beef.
- Why do steaks make bad secretaries? They’re always ‘miss-steak’ing.
- Why was the steak always stressed? It was ‘underdone.’
- What’s a steak’s favorite game? ‘Hide and ‘meat.”
- Why did the steak become a detective? It wanted to solve the ‘mystery meat.’
- What do you call a steak that’s an artist? A ‘palette’ knife.
- Why did the steak join the navy? It wanted to be a ‘sirloin’ seaman.
- Why was the steak always fashionable? It had ‘good taste.’
- Why do steaks love playing chess? They love saying ‘check, mate.’
- What’s a steak’s favorite song? “I Will Always Love ‘Ewe.'”
- What do you call a steak that’s stuck in a fence? A “prime cut.”
- Why was the steak so excited for Halloween? It wanted to be a “Ghoul-lash.”
- Why don’t steaks start fights? They prefer to “meat” in the middle.
- What’s a steak’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day.
- Why did the steak join a band? It heard they needed more “beefy” tunes.
- What do you call a steak that likes to take pictures? A “shutter-bug-er.”
- Why don’t steaks use public transportation? They hate the “meat-ro.”
- What did the steak say to the lonesome burger? “Where’s your “bun”-panion?”
- What’s a steak’s favorite city? New “Yorkshire.”
- Why did the steak go to the music concert? To see the “baste” drop.
- What’s a steak’s favorite instrument? The “meat”lophone.
- Why do steaks make bad politicians? They often flip-flop.
- Why was the steak always working overtime? It wanted to be “well-done.”
- What did the steak say to the griller? “I’m ready to “sizzle.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite dance? The “meatball.”
- Why did the steak enroll in art school? It wanted to draw out its flavor.
- What do you call a steak that’s gone bad? A “miss-steak.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite holiday? “Meat”orial day.
- Why did the steak break into song? It had “bun”t up emotions.
- Why did the steak become a teacher? It had “grade” A beef.
- What did the steak say to the veggie burger? “I don’t “meat” your standards.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite roller coaster? The “beef” dipper.
- Why was the steak always on time? It hated to be “rare.”
- What did the steak say at the carnival? “I’m “udderly” excited.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite toy? A “barbie”-cue grill.
- Why did the steak become a rapper? It loved “beef” beats.
- What do you call a steak that’s a doctor? A “sir-loin” surgeon.
- Why did the steak join the choir? It had a great “bass” of flavor.
- What do you call a steak that tells fortunes? A “medium-rare” psychic.
- What’s a steak’s favorite nursery rhyme? “Patty Cake.”
- Why did the steak become a poet? It had a “rare” talent.
- What do you call a steak that’s a movie star? “Sir-loin” Connery.
- Why did the steak join the gym? It wanted to get “beefed” up.
- What did the steak say to the fries? “We’re a “grate” pair.”
- Why did the steak move to Hollywood? It wanted to star in “grilled” cheese sandwiches.
- What’s a steak’s favorite sport? “Marble”-ing.
- Why did the steak get a ticket? It didn’t “steer” clear of the traffic rules.
- What’s a steak’s favorite superhero? “Meat”eor Man.
- Why did the steak break into the bakery? It wanted to be a “beef” Wellington.
- What’s a steak’s favorite game? “Rump”y.
- Why did the steak refuse to play cards? It was afraid of the “dealer’s cut.”
- What do you call a steak that’s a lawyer? A “legal tender-loin.”
- Why did the steak join the circus? It loved being in the “center ring.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite exercise? The “flank” lift.
- Why did the steak go to the casino? It wanted to play “poker.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite vacation spot? “Barbados”-cue.
- Why was the steak always partying? It was a “rump” roaster.
- What do you call a steak that’s a spy? “Under-cover” meat.
- What did the steak say to the grill? “I’m “sizzling” hot.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite book? “Catch-22 Ounces.”
- Why did the steak go to the library? It wanted to “check out” cookbooks.
- What do you call a steak that’s a philosopher? “Thinker” bell steak.
- Why did the steak go to the beach? It wanted to be a “sandwich.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite dance move? The “hip-hop.”
- Why did the steak refuse to race? It was a “slow roast.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite animal? A “beefalo.”
- Why did the steak break into the bank? It wanted to make a “withdrawl.”
- What do you call a steak that’s an author? “J.K. Roastling.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite music? “Bop”-BQ.
- Why did the steak go to the zoo? It wanted to see the “grill”-las.
- What do you call a steak that’s a comedian? “Beef” Carlin.
- What’s a steak’s favorite sitcom? “Friends Well Done.”
- Why did the steak become a mechanic? It loved “tune-ups.”
- What do you call a steak that’s a magician? “Sir-loin” the Great.
- What’s a steak’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Four-tune.”
- Why did the steak become a gardener? It loved “plant-based” meals.
- What do you call a steak that’s a pilot? “Fly”ing beef.
- What’s a steak’s favorite accessory? “Bracelet of garlic.”
- Why did the steak become a reporter? It loved to “grill” interviewees.
- What do you call a steak that’s a singer? “Meat”loaf.
- What’s a steak’s favorite car? “Rump”-ler.
- Why did the steak become a mailman? It loved “delivering.”
- What do you call a steak that’s a dancer? “Twirling” beef.
- What’s a steak’s favorite candy? “Candy cane” steak.
- Why did the steak go to the doctor? It had “grilled” pains.
- What do you call a steak that’s a scientist? “Einstein” cut.
- What’s a steak’s favorite holiday destination? “Sear”-chelles.
- Why did the steak join a fraternity? It loved “bro”-iling.
- What do you call a steak that’s a movie director? “Sear”-ge Lucas.
- What’s a steak’s favorite drink? “Bloody” Mary.
- Why did the steak go to the moon? It wanted to be a “lunar” luncheon.
- What do you call a steak that’s an astronaut? “Neil Arm-stronganoff.”
- What’s a steak’s favorite nursery rhyme? “This Little Piggy Went to Market.”