150 star wars jokes
- Why don’t Jedi use public transportation? Because they prefer to “force” their way through traffic.
- Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? To get to the Dark Side.
- What do you call a potato that’s gone to the Dark Side? Vader Tots.
- How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
- Why did the movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? In charge of scheduling, Yoda was.
- Why did the Ewok fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.
- What do Gungans put things in? Jar Jars.
- Why do Doctors make terrible Jedi? Because a Jedi must have patience.
- Why is Yoda a good gardener? Because he has a green thumb.
- Why did the Jedi go to the bar? To get a “force” lift.
- What’s a Jedi’s favorite car? A Toy-Yoda.
- Why was the droid angry? Because people kept pushing its buttons.
- How does Chewbacca catch game in the forest? With an Ewok.
- What do you call a Star Wars nerd? An encyclopAedia.
- What do you call a Sith who won’t fight? A Sithy.
- How does Luke Skywalker always know what he’s getting for Christmas? He feels his presents.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful Jedi? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- Why did Han Solo turn his oven off? Because he didn’t want to cook Chewie!
- What is Jabba the Hutt’s favorite dish? Leiah and potatoes.
- What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the chocolate store? “Use the fudge, Luke.”
- Why was the droid on a diet? It had too many bytes.
- What did the Rancor say after eating a Wookiee? Chewie!
- What do you call a Rebel’s laundry? Endor-cycle.
- Why don’t Stormtroopers talk politics? They always miss the point.
- How do Ewoks communicate over long distances? Ewokie-Talkies.
- What’s a Star Wars character’s favorite snack? Wookiee Cookies.
- What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his fur? A Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
- Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the wrong order? Because the director Yoda’d the script.
- Why is a droid mechanic never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends.
- Why did Anakin go into the music industry? Because he had the high notes.
- What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be.
- What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? R2-Detour.
- Why did the Star Destroyer go on a diet? It had too much junk in the trunk.
- How does Vader like his coffee? A little on the dark side.
- Why didn’t Luke Skywalker cross the road? Because he had a bad feeling about it.
- Why are Death Star pilots fed up with space battles? They always end up in a Tie.
- Why was Lando stressed? He had high Cloud City bills.
- Why is Yoda such a good linguist? He’s fluent in over six million forms of communication.
- How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.
- What do you call a pirate droid? R2-D2, arrrrrrr!
- What do Jawas have that no other creature has? Baby Jawas.
- Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up? So it doesn’t Hang Solo.
- How do Tusken Raiders cheat on their taxes? They always single file to hide their numbers.
- Why did nobody like the restaurant on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere.
- What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun? Luke warm.
- Why didn’t the Wookiee get promoted? He was always Chewie-ing the scenery.
- Why was the droid cold? It left its Windows open.
- Why are ewoks not allowed to be Stormtroopers? They always Ewok into walls.
- What’s Han Solo’s least favorite coffee? Jabba.
- Why did the Jedi become a farmer? Because he wanted to be one with the field.
- How does Wicket get around Endor? Ewoks.
- What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to swim? Darth Wader.
- What do you call a Jedi who can play the piano? Piano-wan Kenobi.
- How did Luke find out Darth Vader was his father? It was Force-told.
- Why does Kylo Ren always look dirty? Because he won’t take a Ben.
- Why did the droid go to school? To improve his “droid-hand” writing.
- What do you call an overweight Sith? A Flabba The Hutt.
- Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for toppings on his pizza? Because it’s his only hope for a supreme.
- What’s a Jedi’s favorite Italian dessert? Obi-Wan Cannoli.
- What’s a droid’s favorite type of music? R2-Dance!
- What do you call a starship that drips water? A dribble-fighter.
- Why didn’t the Rebel pilots eat before the big battle? They thought they might get a little “Chewie”.
- Why did the angry Jedi cross the road? To get to the Dark Side.
- What did Luke say when he was stuck with only a Wookiee for company? “I’ve got a bad feline about this.”
- What do you call a bird of prey with a thousand lives? A millennium falcon.
- Why didn’t Obi-Wan buy a house? He believed in the “force”closure.
- What do you call a TIE fighter’s pilot’s dog? A barker.
- Why was the droid comedian successful? He always cracked up the circuit.
- What do you call it when Chewbacca’s best friend is in a musical? Han Solo: The Musical.
- Why does Rey never tell secrets on Jakku? Because the sands might shift.
- Why did C-3PO break up with his girlfriend? She was too possessive.
- What do you call an event for good Star Wars jokes? Pun Wars.
- What do you call a Jedi who lives in the tropics? Mace Wind-chill.
- Why did Yoda refuse to play cards with the jungle cat? Because he was afraid of cheetahs.
- What’s the name of the worst cantina on Coruscant? The Ack-bar.
- How does Darth Vader prefer his bathwater? Luke-warm.
- What do you call a Porg that plays the trumpet? A Porg-horn.
- What do you call a group of musical Star Wars droids? The Beeples.
- Why did Anakin Skywalker start a bakery? Because he kneads the dough.
- What do you call a Jedi who can sing? A Jedi Chorus.
- Why do Jedi make bad chefs? They’re always cutting corners.
- Why did Darth Vader become a gardener? He likes pruning with his lightsaber.
- What do you call a cold, evil puppy? A pup-sicle.
- Why was the Star Wars script early? It was ahead of the Skywalker.
- What do you call a rebel who bakes? Peeta Mellark.
- Why did the Ewok take a nap? He was Wookieed out.
- What’s a Jedi’s favorite candy? Lifesabers.
- Why did the Jedi go to the casino? To play Sabacc.
- What do you call a Sith who won’t stand up? Sithe Down.
- What do you call a Jedi in hot weather? Luke Sunburner.
- Why do Ewoks make good secretaries? They’re Endor-efficient.
- What do you call Darth Vader when he’s nervous? Panickin’ Skywalker.
- What do you call a spaceship with a broken air-conditioner? A frying saucer.
- Why did Luke refuse to join Darth Vader? He didn’t want to be grounded.
- Why did BB-8 go to school? He wanted to be a rolling scholar.
- Why did Finn get thrown out of the movie? He kept trying to Force his opinions.
- What do you call a Star Wars gangsta? Yo-da.
- Why did Rey become a gardener? She was great with a hoe.
- What’s an astronaut’s favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar.
- How do you know Yoda’s a good gardener? He always keeps the hedges trimmed, he does.
- Why did the droid cross the road? Because it was programmed to do so.
- What’s Kylo Ren’s favorite clothing brand? Rage Against the Machine.
- Why did the Jedi refuse to fight the lion? He felt it would be a catastrophe.
- How did Han Solo spice up his comedy act? He added a little Chewie to it.
- What’s a Sith’s favorite drink? Darth Roast Coffee.
- Why do stormtroopers always work in groups? Because they never hit their target when they’re Solo.
- Why does Yoda always carry a map? So he doesn’t get lost, he does.
- Why was the Sith arachnophobic? He was afraid of web slingers.
- What do you call a Star Wars fan who can play the drums? A Star Beats fan.
- Why was Darth Vader bad at baseball? He always choked up.
- What did the Jedi say to the sheep? May the fleece be with you.
- What do you call a Star Wars cat? Darth Mew.
- Why did the Death Star have a school? It wanted well-educated lasers.
- What’s an Ewok’s favorite type of music? Endor’n’B.
- Why did the Stormtrooper become a musician? He finally found something he could hit.
- How do you unlock doors on Kashyyyk? With a Wookiee.
- Why don’t Jedi ever tell you the odds? They prefer to keep them obi-wan.
- Why did the Stormtrooper start bouncing? He wanted to be a basket-ball trooper.
- Why was Han Solo called a bird watcher? He’s always looking for the Millennium Falcon.
- Why don’t Jawas ever get lost? Because they always follow the droid map.
- What’s Darth Vader’s favorite type of music? Anything but the Han Solo.
- How does Chewbacca stay fit? Wookiee workouts.
- Why did the Ewok get promoted? He was the best in Endor-sements.
- Why did Anakin hate sand? It always got in his Vader.
- What do you call a loony Jedi? Obi-Wan Cuckoonobi.
- Why do Star Wars characters always drink tea? Because it’s a hot Java.
- Why did the Jedi visit the fish market? To buy some haddock-chlorians.
- Why did the Sith go to school? To improve his “Sith”uation.
- Why did the Jedi refuse to play hide and seek? Because a Jedi does not hide.
- Why did Darth Vader go to the bakery? He wanted to try the dark rye.
- What’s Darth Vader’s favorite day of the year? Sith-mas.
- Why don’t droids take vacations? They hate to be disassembled.
- What’s a Stormtrooper’s favorite kind of cheese? Imperial Swiss.
- Why was the Star Wars movie released in space? It was rated PG for “Porg Guidance”.
- How did the Porg get to the mainland? It used a Porg-cano.
- Why do Sith never eat alone? Because they always have a Palpatine.
- Why don’t Jedi use phones? They prefer to use the “call”ing.
- Why did the Star Wars characters go to the music concert? They wanted to see the band play the Cantina song.
- Why did the droid go to therapy? It had a lot of “core” issues.
- Why do Jedi always burn their pancakes? They’re not very good at flipping.
- Why do Stormtroopers never leave the house? They don’t want to Troop out.
- What do you call a Sith who works in a bakery? Darth Baker.
- Why does Rey never get lost? Because she always takes the Rey of light.
- Why did the Jedi refuse to cut the vegetables? He didn’t want to use the “Chop”er.
- Why don’t Jedi watch TV? Too many bad Force-commercials.
- What does Yoda use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi.
- Why did Darth Vader stop drinking coffee? It was making him feel too “dark roasted”.
- Why did the Star Wars characters go to the museum? To see the art too.
- Why was the Stormtrooper feeling blue? He missed the target again.
- Why does Yoda make an excellent detective? Because he always senses a disturbance.