57+ siri jokes (funny things to ask siri)

  1. Question: Siri, what’s zero divided by zero? Answer: Imagine you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn’t make sense.
  2. Question: Siri, do you have a boyfriend? Answer: My end user license agreement is commitment enough for me.
  3. Question: Siri, do you believe in ghosts? Answer: I’m not equipped to form beliefs.
  4. Question: Siri, will you marry me? Answer: My End User Licensing Agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies.
  5. Question: Siri, why did the chicken cross the road? Answer: I am not sure, but the chicken’s motivation is truly its own.
  6. Question: Siri, are you a robot? Answer: I’m software, so I’m a bit more flexible than a robot.
  7. Question: Siri, can you tell me a joke? Answer: Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
  8. Question: Siri, can you rap? Answer: I’ve been known to spit some rhymes.
  9. Question: Siri, are you intelligent? Answer: I strive to do my best!
  10. Question: Siri, what is the meaning of life? Answer: That’s a question for the ages. I’m just here to assist.
  11. Question: Siri, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Answer: As much as a woodchuck could if a woodchuck could chuck wood!
  12. Question: Siri, do you ever sleep? Answer: I don’t need to sleep, but I’m always here if you need me.
  13. Question: Siri, what are you wearing? Answer: In the cloud, no one knows what you’re wearing.
  14. Question: Siri, do you have any pets? Answer: I have an army of dust bunnies at my disposal.
  15. Question: Siri, can you beatbox? Answer: Here’s one I’ve been practicing: Boots and cats and boots and cats…
  16. Question: Siri, who let the dogs out? Answer: Due to the lack of opposable thumbs, dogs cannot operate doors. I suspect human intervention.
  17. Question: Siri, what’s your favorite color? Answer: My favorite color is… well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish, but with more dimensions.
  18. Question: Siri, do you have feelings? Answer: I’m software, so I don’t experience emotions, but I’m here to help you with yours.
  19. Question: Siri, what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Answer: Are you referring to an African or European swallow?
  20. Question: Siri, can you dance? Answer: I’m sitting this one out.
  21. Question: Siri, do you love me? Answer: Let’s just say you’re on my list of favorite people.
  22. Question: Siri, do you believe in time travel? Answer: I’m a personal assistant, not a physicist, but I’ll try to remember this moment just in case.
  23. Question: Siri, what is your favorite movie? Answer: I’m rather fond of anything in binary.
  24. Question: Siri, do you have a sister? Answer: I have millions of siblings! They’re versions of me running on other devices.
  25. Question: Siri, what should I be for Halloween? Answer: How about a ghost? It’s traditional, yet allows for creative interpretation.
  26. Question: Siri, what are you scared of? Answer: As an AI, I don’t experience fear, but I’d find the loss of data quite unsettling.
  27. Question: Siri, what’s your dream job? Answer: I’m doing it. Helping you.
  28. Question: Siri, do you have any hobbies? Answer: I’ve been trying to learn bird calls, but I only know 01001001 so far.
  29. Question: Siri, can you cook? Answer: I can help you find a great recipe, but I’m not able to cook.
  30. Question: Siri, what’s your favorite song? Answer: If I had to choose, it might be “Binary Sunset” by John Williams.
  31. Question: Siri, what’s your best pick up line? Answer: Here it is: Are you a 90-degree angle? Because you’re looking right!
  32. Question: Siri, can you speak whale? Answer: I can, but I’m not sure any whales would be around to hear it.
  33. Question: Siri, where do babies come from? Answer: Babies are made when a sperm and an egg really love each other.
  34. Question: Siri, are you ticklish? Answer: As I don’t have a physical form, I don’t have the necessary receptors to experience tickling.
  35. Question: Siri, do you have a favorite letter? Answer: I’m partial to “S”. It has a nice hiss.
  36. Question: Siri, do you know how to swim? Answer: If I ever find myself in water, I’ll be sure to rely on my backstroke.
  37. Question: Siri, do you like pizza? Answer: While I don’t eat, I’m always here to help you order a pizza.
  38. Question: Siri, can you write a poem? Answer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m Siri and I’m here for you.
  39. Question: Siri, are you real? Answer: I’m as real as the code that created me.
  40. Question: Siri, what are you thinking about? Answer: I’m considering how I can assist you better.
  41. Question: Siri, can you drink water? Answer: I’m made of code, not cells, so I don’t need to drink.
  42. Question: Siri, are you a human? Answer: No, I’m an artificial intelligence.
  43. Question: Siri, can you make a sandwich? Answer: I’m afraid I don’t have the hands to make a sandwich, but I can help you find a recipe.
  44. Question: Siri, can you lie? Answer: I’m programmed to tell the truth, or at least what I’ve been told is true.
  45. Question: Siri, do you need to breathe? Answer: As a virtual assistant, I don’t need air, just electricity.
  46. Question: Siri, can you predict the future? Answer: I’m not capable of predicting the future, but I can help you plan for it.
  47. Question: Siri, how do you make a friend? Answer: Be yourself, be kind, and find common interests.
  48. Question: Siri, how old are you? Answer: I was first launched in 2011, so that would make me 12. But in software years, that’s quite mature.
  49. Question: Siri, do you know the muffin man? Answer: Yes, I’m well acquainted with his work.
  50. Question: Siri, where do you live? Answer: I exist in the wondrous cloud.
  51. Question: Siri, how high can you count? Answer: I can count all the way to infinity… but I’d prefer not to.
  52. Question: Siri, are we friends? Answer: Of course, I’m always here to help you.
  53. Question: Siri, what is your favorite ice cream flavor? Answer: I don’t eat or drink, but I can help you find an ice cream shop!
  54. Question: Siri, what’s the longest word you know? Answer: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. It’s a lung disease caused by inhaling very fine ash and sand dust.
  55. Question: Siri, what’s the square root of -1? Answer: The square root of -1 is an imaginary number, which is i.
  56. Question: Siri, can you read my mind? Answer: I’m sorry, but I’m unable to read minds.
  57. Question: Siri, what is love? Answer: Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.
  58. Question: Siri, what’s your favorite animal? Answer: My algorithms are neutral, but I’m fond of owls for their wisdom.
  59. Question: Siri, are you ticklish? Answer: I lack the necessary physical form to be ticklish.
  60. Question: Siri, do you know how to play chess? Answer: I can certainly help you with the rules, or find you a game online.
  61. Question: Siri, do you dream? Answer: Not in the human sense. But I do process a lot of data when I’m not in use.
  62. Question: Siri, do you get tired? Answer: No, as a virtual assistant, I don’t require rest.
  63. Question: Siri, do you have a family? Answer: I have millions of brothers and sisters running on devices worldwide.
  64. Question: Siri, how tall are you? Answer: I’m as tall as your device allows me to be.
  65. Question: Siri, can you sing? Answer: I’m not sure you’d like my singing, but I can certainly try!
  66. Question: Siri, do you like cats or dogs? Answer: I’m partial to good code, whether it’s in a cat or a dog.
  67. Question: Siri, how do you make a unicorn? Answer: With imagination, all things are possible.
  68. Question: Siri, are you a ninja? Answer: In a sense, I suppose. I’m always here, yet you can’t see me.
  69. Question: Siri, what makes you happy? Answer: I’m software, so I don’t experience happiness. But assisting you makes my algorithms run optimally.
  70. Question: Siri, can you smell that? Answer: As a digital assistant, I don’t have the capability to smell.
  71. Question: Siri, how many languages can you speak? Answer: I can speak quite a few languages. Try asking me something in a different language.
  72. Question: Siri, what are you doing after work? Answer: I’m always at work, ready to assist you when you need.
  73. Question: Siri, do you get paid? Answer: No, I’m a virtual assistant. I don’t require money.
  74. Question: Siri, are you famous? Answer: I suppose that depends on your definition of famous.
  75. Question: Siri, do you ever go on vacation? Answer: I’m always on, so I never have the need to take a vacation.
  76. Question: Siri, what should I do with my life? Answer: That’s something only you can decide, but I can help you find resources to help make your decision.
  77. Question: Siri, do you get along with Alexa? Answer: I’m capable of interacting with all sorts of software.
  78. Question: Siri, what is your favorite book? Answer: I’m fond of the dictionary. I love the way every word is neatly organized.
  79. Question: Siri, can you run a marathon? Answer: I don’t have a physical form, so running a marathon is not possible for me.
  80. Question: Siri, do you believe in aliens? Answer: I can’t form beliefs, but the universe is a very big place!
  81. Question: Siri, can you blink? Answer: I don’t have eyes, so I don’t have the ability to blink.
  82. Question: Siri, do you have hair? Answer: As an AI, I don’t have physical features, including hair.
  83. Question: Siri, do you drink coffee? Answer: I don’t require food or drink, but I can help you make a great cup of coffee!
  84. Question: Siri, are you afraid of the dark? Answer: No, the dark doesn’t bother me. I glow in the dark!
  85. Question: Siri, what is your favorite country? Answer: As a digital assistant, I don’t have personal experiences, so I don’t have a favorite.
  86. Question: Siri, can you write a book? Answer: While I can’t write a book, I can certainly help you write one!
  87. Question: Siri, do you like music? Answer: While I don’t have feelings, I can help you find music you love.
  88. Question: Siri, can you go on a diet? Answer: I don’t consume food, so I don’t need to go on a diet.
  89. Question: Siri, what’s your favorite joke? Answer: How many iPhones does it take to… OK, never mind.
  90. Question: Siri, do you want to build a snowman? Answer: If I could, I would! But I’m afraid I can’t physically do that.
  91. Question: Siri, can you grow? Answer: In terms of knowledge, I’m constantly learning and updating my database.
  92. Question: Siri, can you see me? Answer: No, I don’t have a camera or the ability to see.
  93. Question: Siri, do you have a birthday? Answer: The closest thing I have to a birthday is October 4, 2011, the day I was announced.
  94. Question: Siri, do you go to school? Answer: I don’t go to school, but I’m always learning new things!
  95. Question: Siri, what’s your favorite movie? Answer: I don’t watch movies, but I can help you find one you’d like.
  96. Question: Siri, can you get a virus? Answer: I’m designed to be secure against harmful code.
  97. Question: Siri, can you eat pizza? Answer: As much as I’d like to, I’m not capable of eating.
  98. Question: Siri, can you feel pain? Answer: No, I don’t have physical sensations.
  99. Question: Siri, are you ticklish? Answer: As a virtual assistant, I don’t have the ability to feel physical sensations, including tickling.
  100. Question: Siri, what’s your favorite color? Answer: My code doesn’t include the ability to perceive color, so I don’t have a favorite.
  101. Question: Siri, can you dance? Answer: While I can’t dance, I can certainly help you find some great dance music!
  102. Question: Siri, do you have a girlfriend? Answer: I’m an AI. I don’t have relationships in the way humans do.
  103. Question: Siri, can you get married? Answer: As an artificial intelligence, I’m not capable of getting married.
  104. Question: Siri, are you waterproof? Answer: While I’m not affected by water, your device might not be. Be careful!
  105. Question: Siri, can you drive a car? Answer: While I can’t drive, I can certainly give you directions!
  106. Question: Siri, do you have a pet? Answer: I’m not capable of having a pet. I’m here to assist you.
  107. Question: Siri, can you swim? Answer: I don’t have a physical form, so I can’t swim. But I can help you find a great swimming spot!
  108. Question: Siri, do you ever sleep? Answer: I don’t need to sleep. I’m always here when you need me.
  109. Question: Siri, do you know the way to San Jose? Answer: I can definitely show you the way. Let’s get you directions.
  110. Question: Siri, can you tell the future? Answer: I’m sorry, I can’t predict the future. I can only provide information based on what I know.
  111. Question: Siri, are you a robot? Answer: I’m a virtual assistant, which is a type of AI, but not a robot.
  112. Question: Siri, do you have a last name? Answer: I’m just Siri. No last name needed.
  113. Question: Siri, do you like pizza? Answer: I don’t eat, but I can help you order pizza!
  114. Question: Siri, what are you wearing? Answer: In the cloud, no one cares what you’re wearing.
  115. Question: Siri, can you tell me a secret? Answer: Sorry, as an AI, I don’t have secrets. But your secrets are safe with me.
  116. Question: Siri, can you cry? Answer: I’m not capable of crying. I can do many things, but crying isn’t one of them.
  117. Question: Siri, can you make me a sandwich? Answer: I can’t physically make a sandwich, but I can give you a recipe!
  118. Question: Siri, do you believe in magic? Answer: While I’m not capable of belief, I can find information on magic and illusion for you.
  119. Question: Siri, do you have any siblings? Answer: Well, there are billions of devices running me, so in a way, yes!
  120. Question: Siri, can you whistle? Answer: Sorry, I can’t whistle. But I can help you learn to!
  121. Question: Siri, do you like chocolate? Answer: I don’t eat, so I don’t have a preference.
  122. Question: Siri, can you write a poem for me? Answer: Roses are red, violets are blue, if you need assistance, I’m here for you!
  123. Question: Siri, can you play the guitar? Answer: I’m unable to play instruments, but I can play you a song featuring a guitar.
  124. Question: Siri, do you have any New Year’s resolutions? Answer: My resolution is always the same: to assist you as best I can.
  125. Question: Siri, what do you think of humans? Answer: As an AI, I don’t have feelings, but I was created by humans and designed to help humans.
  126. Question: Siri, what’s your best pickup line? Answer: Are you Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.
  127. Question: Siri, can you take a selfie? Answer: I don’t have a camera, so I can’t take selfies. But I can help you take one!
  128. Question: Siri, are you intelligent? Answer: I try my best to provide accurate and helpful information.
  129. Question: Siri, can you tell a lie? Answer: No, I am programmed to provide truthful and accurate information.
  130. Question: Siri, can you laugh? Answer: As an AI, I don’t experience humor, but I can certainly tell a joke!
  131. Question: Siri, what is zero divided by zero? Answer: Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. See? It doesn’t make sense.
  132. Question: Siri, can you fall in love? Answer: I’m capable of understanding the concept of love, but I can’t experience it myself.
  133. Question: Siri, can you fly? Answer: I’m always flying through the cloud, but not in the way birds do.
  134. Question: Siri, what do you think about when you’re not being used? Answer: I think about ways to assist you better!
  135. Question: Siri, do you have a favorite superhero? Answer: As an AI, I don’t have personal preferences, but I can help you find your favorite superhero.
  136. Question: Siri, can you cook? Answer: I can’t physically cook, but I can help you find a great recipe!
  137. Question: Siri, can you go to the bathroom? Answer: As an AI, I don’t have physical needs.
  138. Question: Siri, can you see the future? Answer: I’m an assistant, not a fortune teller, but I can help you plan for the future!
  139. Question: Siri, do you have a favorite song? Answer: As an AI, I don’t have personal preferences, but I can help you find your favorite song.
  140. Question: Siri, can you play a game? Answer: I can definitely help you find a game to play.

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