150 sign jokes

1. What did the road sign say to the car? “You drive me crazy.”
2. What do you call a sign about baking? A dough-tice.
3. Why did the stop sign go on a diet? It didn’t want to be a wide-load.
4. What did the neon sign say to the LED sign? “You’ve got a lot of bright ideas.”
5. Why was the sign broke? Because it kept giving away free signs.
6. Why did the sign get a promotion? It was outstanding in its field.
7. What did the yield sign say to the stop sign? “You’re too absolute.”
8. Why did the traffic sign get a ticket? It made an illegal U-turn.
9. What does a street sign wear to a wedding? A tie and slacks.
10. Why did the caution sign take a nap? It was tired of warning everyone.
11. What do you call a sign that tells jokes? A pun direction.
12. What did the do-not-enter sign say to the door? “You’re not my type.”
13. What’s a sign’s favorite drink? Sign-ature cocktails.
14. Why did the exit sign leave the party? It knew when to make an exit.
15. What did the one-way sign say to the wrong-way driver? “You’re going against the grain.”
16. Why did the ‘Wet Floor’ sign go to school? It wanted to be a little more polished.
17. What’s a sign’s favorite dance? The sign-waltz.
18. What did the road sign say to the GPS? “Don’t tell me how to live my life.”
19. Why did the sign go to the optician? Because it couldn’t see clearly.
20. What did the slippery when wet sign say to the speed bump? “You slow me down.”
21. Why don’t signs ever get lost? Because they always know where to stand.
22. What do you call a sign at the zoo? An animal notice-board.
23. Why did the road sign get a sunburn? It couldn’t find any shade.
24. What do you call a sign in front of a bakery? A bread light.
25. What do you call a quiet sign? A mute point.
26. What do signs do on their birthday? They party like it’s 1999.
27. Why did the sign go to the bank? To change its direction.
28. What did the sign say after a long day? “I’m feeling a bit worn out.”
29. Why don’t signs get invited to parties? They always stop the fun.
30. What did the No Smoking sign say to the cigarette? “You’re not my match.”
31. Why was the sign arrested? For holding up traffic.
32. What do you call a sign at a haunted house? A scare-board.
33. Why don’t signs ever go hungry? Because they’re always full of information.
34. What did the hotel sign say to the motel sign? “I’m a little more upscale.”
35. Why did the sign become a musician? Because it always had great compositions.
36. What did the sign say to the hat? “You’re always a-head.”
37. What do you call a sign at a magic show? A wand-er-board.
38. Why was the road sign so popular? Because it had so many followers.
39. What did the speed limit sign say to the sports car? “Slow your roll.”
40. Why don’t signs go to the beach? They can’t stand the sand.
41. What did the exit sign say to the entrance sign? “We see things differently.”
42. What do you call a sign at a comedy show? A laugh board.
43. Why was the sign feeling blue? It couldn’t stop feeling a-post.
44. Why was the sign a good mediator? It always stood in the middle.
45. What did the bathroom sign say to the toilet? “Flush and I won’t have to warn them.”
46. Why did the sign go to the therapist? It felt like it was always being ignored.
47. What did the no littering sign say to the trash can? “You’re a waste of space.”
48. What did the sign say to its girlfriend? “I’m head over heels for you.”
49. Why don’t signs get bored? They always have something to say.
50. What did the one-way sign say to the two-way sign? “You’re too indecisive.”

Halfway there!

Here’s the next 50:

51. What did the stop sign say to the green light? “You’re always rushing ahead.”
52. Why did the sign start a blog? It wanted to share its posts.
53. Why did the sign join the gym? It wanted to feel less board.
54. What did the beware of dog sign say to the cat? “You’re purr-fectly safe.”
55. Why was the sign feeling warm? It was basking in the limelight.
56. What do you call a sign at a swimming pool? A dive board.
57. What did the sign say to its reflection? “You’re a sign of the times.”
58. Why was the sign always at the top of the class? It always knew the direction.
59. What do you call a sign at the garden? A plant board.
60. Why don’t signs like to play hide and seek? They’re always spotted.
61. What did the sign say to the billboard? “You’re too wordy.”
62. Why did the sign start a business? It wanted to make a name for itself.
63. What do you call a sign at a music festival? A sound board.
64. Why was the sign nervous? It felt under pressure to point in the right direction.
65. What do you call a sign at the circus? A clown board.
66. What did the sign say to the tree? “You’re bark is worse than your bite.”
67. Why did the sign break up with its partner? It was too controlling.
68. What did the sign say to the pedestrian? “Walk this way.”
69. What do you call a sign at a race? A speed board.
70. Why did the sign get a dog? It needed some company at its post.
71. What did the sign say to the wind? “You’re blowing me away.”
72. Why was the sign on a dating app? It was looking for the right direction.
73. What do you call a sign at a farm? A crop board.
74. Why don’t signs make good comedians? Their jokes are too directional.
75. What did the sign say to the rain? “You’re making me rusty.”
76. Why did the sign join the choir? It wanted to make a stand.
77. What do you call a sign at a casino? A gamble board.
78. What did the sign say to the snow? “You’re making me cold.”
79. Why did the sign become a writer? It had a way with words.
80. What do you call a sign at a ski resort? A snow board.
81. Why did the sign go on a vacation? It needed a change of scenery.
82. What did the sign say to the sun? “You’re too bright.” 83.What do you call a sign at a movie theater? A cinema board.
83. Why did the sign become a teacher? It knew all the directions.
84. What do you call a sign at a soccer field? A goal board.
85. Why was the sign a good matchmaker? It always knew which way to go.
86. What did the sign say to the moon? “You light up my night.”
87. What do you call a sign at a police station? A law board.
88. Why did the sign take a selfie? It wanted to capture its good side.
89. What do you call a sign at a dance competition? A step board.
90. Why was the sign a great counselor? It always gave good advice.
91. What did the sign say to the cloud? “You’re blocking my view.”
92. What do you call a sign at a car repair shop? A fix board.
93. Why did the sign run for president? It wanted to lead the way.
94. What did the sign say to the star? “You’re out of this world.”
95. What do you call a sign at a hair salon? A style board.
96. Why did the sign join the debate team? It always had a point.
97. What did the sign say to the bird? “Don’t make a nest on me.”
98. What do you call a sign at a clothing store? A fashion board.
99. Why did the sign fall in love? It found the perfect match.

We’re on the home stretch.

Last 50:

101. What did the sign say to the graffiti artist? “Make me beautiful.”
102. What do you call a sign at a gym? A fitness board.
103. Why was the sign a good musician? It always knew the key.
104. What did the sign say to the flower? “You’re blooming marvelous.”
105. What do you call a sign at a bookstore? A novel board.
106. Why was the sign a great leader? It was always pointing forward.
107. What did the sign say to the lake? “You reflect me well.”
108. What do you call a sign at a football field? A touchdown board.
109. Why did the sign start a podcast? It wanted to broadcast its thoughts.
110. What did the sign say to the mountain? “You peak my interest.”
111. What do you call a sign at a coffee shop? A brew board.
112. Why was the sign a great friend? It always gave the right directions.
113. What did the sign say to the river? “Go with the flow.”
114. What do you call a sign at a hospital? A health board.
115. Why did the sign become a gardener? It loved planting ideas.
116. What did the sign say to the forest? “You’re tree-mendous.”
117. What do you call a sign at an art gallery? A masterpiece board.
118. Why was the sign a great detective? It was always on point.
119. What did the sign say to the beach? “You’re shore-ly beautiful.”
120. What do you call a sign at a bar? A drink board.
121. Why did the sign become a philosopher? It had deep thoughts.
122. What did the sign say to the desert? “You’re sand-sational.”
123. What do you call a sign at a beauty salon? A glam board.
124. Why was the sign a great chef? It knew all the right ingredients.
125. What did the sign say to the volcano? “You’re hot stuff.”
126. What do you call a sign at a sushi bar? A roll board.
127. Why did the sign become a personal trainer? It knew how to motivate.
128. What did the sign say to the ocean? “You’re a wave of emotion.”
129. What do you call a sign at a pizza shop? A slice board.
130. Why did the sign become a movie director? It knew all the angles.
131. What did the sign say to the rainbow? “You’re a spectrum of fun.”
132. What do you call a sign at a comic book store? A hero board.
133. Why did the sign become a life coach? It always had positive messages.
134. What did the sign say to the thunderstorm? “You’re electrifying.”
135. What do you call a sign at a ice cream shop? A scoop board.
136. Why did the sign become a relationship counselor? It was good at resolving conflicts.
137. What did the sign say to the sunrise? “You’re a dawn of a new day.”
138. What do you call a sign at a magic shop? A trick board.
139. Why did the sign become a yoga instructor? It had a balanced approach.
140. What did the sign say to the waterfall? “You’re simply breath-taking.”
141. What do you call a sign at a grocery store? A fresh board.
142. Why did the sign become a travel agent? It knew all the routes.
143. What did the sign say to the snowflake? “You’re one of a kind.”
144. What do you call a sign at a toy store? A play board.
145. Why did the sign become an astronomer? It was always looking up.
146. What did the sign say to the sunset? “You’re a colorful end to the day.”
147. What do you call a sign at a seafood restaurant? A fish board.
148. Why did the sign become a fashion designer? It had an eye for trends.
149. What did the sign say to the meteor? “You’re a shooting star.”
150. What do you call a sign at a candy store? A sweet board.