150 red flags jokes

  1. If your date spends more time talking to Siri than to you, that’s a red flag.
  2. If they order pineapple on pizza, that’s a red flag.
  3. If they say they’re only a “little bit” into astrology, but they need to know your birth time before your first date, that’s a red flag.
  4. If they claim to love books, but the only one on their shelf is “Fifty Shades of Grey”, that’s a red flag.
  5. If they never laugh at your jokes but always laugh at their own, that’s a red flag.
  6. If their idea of a night out is a tour of all the local free samples, that’s a red flag.
  7. If they use “password” as their password, that’s a red flag.
  8. If they believe the earth is flatter than a pancake, that’s a red flag.
  9. If their Facebook relationship status is “it’s complicated” with five different people, that’s a red flag.
  10. If they introduce you to their parents as a “temporary stand-in”, that’s a red flag.
  11. If they order for you at a restaurant without asking, that’s a red flag.
  12. If they keep referring to their mom as their “roommate”, that’s a red flag.
  13. If they never remember your name but can recite the entire Star Wars saga, that’s a red flag.
  14. If they bring a checklist to your first date, that’s a red flag.
  15. If they never pick up the tab but always pick up the last slice of pizza, that’s a red flag.
  16. If they’re more interested in your credit score than your personality, that’s a red flag.
  17. If they frequently check their ex’s social media during your date, that’s a red flag.
  18. If they ask you to pay for the engagement ring, that’s a red flag.
  19. If they use your toothbrush without asking, that’s a red flag.
  20. If their pet has a better social life than you do, that’s a red flag.
  21. If they finish your sentences – incorrectly, that’s a red flag.
  22. If their idea of dressing up is putting on a clean pair of sweatpants, that’s a red flag.
  23. If they always make plans with you for “sometime next year”, that’s a red flag.
  24. If they ask to split the bill on a date – into exact change, that’s a red flag.
  25. If they text more with your best friend than with you, that’s a red flag.
  26. If their only source of news is memes, that’s a red flag.
  27. If they use a selfie with their ex as their profile picture, that’s a red flag.
  28. If they always talk about their exes on your dates, that’s a red flag.
  29. If they think the Kardashians are a model for functional family dynamics, that’s a red flag.
  30. If they can’t boil water but insist on cooking dinner, that’s a red flag.
  31. If they think laundry is a yearly event, that’s a red flag.
  32. If they think soap operas are based on true stories, that’s a red flag.
  33. If they have more stuffed animals than a toy store, that’s a red flag.
  34. If their phone has more dating apps than utility apps, that’s a red flag.
  35. If they quote the Twilight series more than Shakespeare, that’s a red flag.
  36. If their text messages contain more emojis than words, that’s a red flag.
  37. If they treat their car better than they treat you, that’s a red flag.
  38. If they believe reality TV is an accurate reflection of reality, that’s a red flag.
  39. If they haven’t changed their bed sheets since the last Olympics, that’s a red flag.
  40. If they think a 2 AM text is a romantic gesture, that’s a red flag.
  41. If they use pick-up lines from the ’80s, that’s a red flag.
  42. If they remember every detail of their football games but forget your birthday, that’s a red flag.
  43. If they try to impress you with their extensive Beanie Baby collection, that’s a red flag.
  44. If they think a dinner date at a gas station is romantic, that’s a red flag.
  45. If they refer to themselves in third person, that’s a red flag.
  46. If they say “I love you” on the first date, that’s a red flag.
  47. If they think tipping is a city in China, that’s a red flag.
  48. If they have a personalized ringtone for their mom, that’s a red flag.
  49. If they laugh more at their own jokes than you do, that’s a red flag.
  50. If their most serious commitment is to their fantasy football league, that’s a red flag.
  51. If they still use a flip phone in 2023, that’s a red flag.
  52. If their favorite author is “Anonymous”, that’s a red flag.
  53. If they’ve seen every episode of “Jersey Shore”, that’s a red flag.
  54. If they take their gaming console on vacation, that’s a red flag.
  55. If they haven’t cleaned their kitchen since the last solar eclipse, that’s a red flag.
  56. If they refer to their pet tarantula as their “baby”, that’s a red flag.
  57. If they try to pay for dinner with coupons, that’s a red flag.
  58. If their favorite movie is “The Room”, that’s a red flag.
  59. If they think ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are optional, that’s a red flag.
  60. If they bring their mom on your first date, that’s a red flag.
  61. If they think soap is optional, that’s a red flag.
  62. If they have a whole wardrobe of Crocs, that’s a red flag.
  63. If their favorite hobby is collecting taxidermy, that’s a red flag.
  64. If they’re still using their ex’s Netflix account, that’s a red flag.
  65. If they take longer to do their hair than you do, that’s a red flag.
  66. If they don’t like dogs, that’s a red flag.
  67. If they consider pizza a food group, that’s a red flag.
  68. If they insist on high fives instead of kisses, that’s a red flag.
  69. If they text during a movie at the theater, that’s a red flag.
  70. If they think deodorant is for special occasions, that’s a red flag.
  71. If they think being ‘fashionably late’ means an hour or more, that’s a red flag.
  72. If their favorite song is the Macarena, that’s a red flag.
  73. If they still wear their high school letterman jacket, that’s a red flag.
  74. If they use their cat to get out of social events, that’s a red flag.
  75. If they still live with their ex ‘for convenience’, that’s a red flag.
  76. If their email address still ends in “@aol.com”, that’s a red flag.
  77. If they watch the movie without reading the book first, that’s a red flag.
  78. If they think the best part of a song is the ringtone, that’s a red flag.
  79. If they drink milk straight from the carton, that’s a red flag.
  80. If they prefer Comic Sans as their default font, that’s a red flag.
  81. If their favorite philosopher is Kanye West, that’s a red flag.
  82. If they take you to a fast-food restaurant for a fancy dinner date, that’s a red flag.
  83. If they keep their Christmas lights up all year round, that’s a red flag.
  84. If they think the best way to a person’s heart is through a DM, that’s a red flag.
  85. If their favorite instrument is the air guitar, that’s a red flag.
  86. If they still have their ex’s photos in their wallet, that’s a red flag.
  87. If their greatest achievement is reaching the highest level in Candy Crush, that’s a red flag.
  88. If they’re always “busy” when it’s your turn to move in Scrabble, that’s a red flag.
  89. If their favorite meal is anything microwaveable, that’s a red flag.
  90. If they never remember your stories but always remember the wifi password, that’s a red flag.
  91. If they take more selfies than a teenager at a pop concert, that’s a red flag.
  92. If they can’t make a decision without consulting their horoscope, that’s a red flag.
  93. If their online profile picture is a celebrity, that’s a red flag.
  94. If they use their gym membership card as a bookmark, that’s a red flag.
  95. If they never remember your allergies but always remember your embarrassing moments, that’s a red flag.
  96. If they think Twitter is a reliable source of political news, that’s a red flag.
  97. If they consider “YOLO” a life philosophy, that’s a red flag.
  98. If they call themselves an “influencer” but have only 10 followers, that’s a red flag.
  99. If they still have their Christmas tree up in July, that’s a red flag.
  100. If they bring up their high school GPA on a date, that’s a red flag.
  101. If they have more aliases than a spy, that’s a red flag.
  102. If they have a separate drawer for their socks with holes, that’s a red flag.
  103. If they’ve been to more comic cons than family gatherings, that’s a red flag.
  104. If they refuse to eat anything that isn’t deep-fried, that’s a red flag.
  105. If they have a back-up date on speed dial, that’s a red flag.
  106. If they try to tip the waitress with a business card, that’s a red flag.
  107. If their favorite vacation spot is the couch, that’s a red flag.
  108. If they consider duct tape a home improvement tool, that’s a red flag.
  109. If they use more hair gel than a 90s boy band, that’s a red flag.
  110. If they think Netflix and chill means actually watching Netflix and chilling, that’s a red flag.
  111. If they bring their laundry to your first date, that’s a red flag.
  112. If their ringtone is “Baby Shark”, that’s a red flag.
  113. If they can’t spell their own name correctly, that’s a red flag.
  114. If they don’t like any music that isn’t their own mixtape, that’s a red flag.
  115. If they think making the bed involves just straightening the comforter, that’s a red flag.
  116. If they save their toenail clippings, that’s a red flag.
  117. If they bring up their mom more than three times on a date, that’s a red flag.
  118. If their cooking always involves the fire department, that’s a red flag.
  119. If they still play Pokemon Go in 2023, that’s a red flag.
  120. If they don’t have a single photo without a Snapchat filter, that’s a red flag.
  121. If they’ve never heard of the Beatles, that’s a red flag.
  122. If they can’t go five minutes without looking in a mirror, that’s a red flag.
  123. If they can’t tell the difference between their and there, that’s a red flag.
  124. If they think Brussels sprouts are a type of animal, that’s a red flag.
  125. If they don’t know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, that’s a red flag.
  126. If they only drink milk straight from the cow, that’s a red flag.
  127. If they still use MySpace in 2023, that’s a red flag.
  128. If they have more selfies with their food than with people, that’s a red flag.
  129. If they still have their baby teeth, that’s a red flag.
  130. If they own more board games than a game store, that’s a red flag.
  131. If they always make you the designated driver, that’s a red flag.
  132. If they use “LOL” in a handwritten note, that’s a red flag.
  133. If they think you can make a grilled cheese sandwich in a toaster, that’s a red flag.
  134. If their favorite type of music is elevator music, that’s a red flag.
  135. If they use ketchup on their pasta, that’s a red flag.
  136. If their favorite form of communication is via carrier pigeon, that’s a red flag.
  137. If they think Bluetooth is a dental condition, that’s a red flag.
  138. If they can’t go a day without mentioning their high score on Flappy Bird, that’s a red flag.
  139. If they take relationship advice from reality TV shows, that’s a red flag.
  140. If their life goal is to become a professional lottery player, that’s a red flag.
  141. If they still use a typewriter in the digital age, that’s a red flag.
  142. If they think calculus is a type of medical condition, that’s a red flag.
  143. If their cooking always tastes like rubber, that’s a red flag.
  144. If they think cheese is a type of meat, that’s a red flag.
  145. If they believe everything they read on the Internet, that’s a red flag.
  146. If they don’t know how to make a cup of coffee, that’s a red flag.
  147. If they use their laptop as a coaster, that’s a red flag.
  148. If they think ‘literature’ is a fancy term for a brochure, that’s a red flag.
  149. If they think a microwave meal is a gourmet dinner, that’s a red flag.
  150. If they need a GPS to navigate their own house, that’s a red flag.

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