150 peeing jokes / urine jokes

  1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. But why did the salad turn red? Because it saw the tomato peeing.
  2. Why do plumbers never play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always peeing!
  3. Why did the lemon go to the bathroom? It couldn’t hold its pee-th!
  4. What do you call a urinating potato? A pee-tato!
  5. What’s a bathroom’s favorite song? “Pee You Later, Alligator.”
  6. Why was the toilet paper upset at the urinal? It felt pee-neglected.
  7. Why do ghosts like bathrooms? They love to pee-ranormal activity!
  8. What do you call a urinating superhero? Pee-ter Parker.
  9. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. And how does the rain say hello? It pees down on you!
  10. Why did the pee go to school? It wanted to be a little wiser before getting flushed.
  11. Why did the bathroom break up with the toilet? Because it couldn’t handle the constant pee-drama!
  12. Why did the pee apologize to the toilet? It said it didn’t mean to take the piss.
  13. What’s a tree’s favorite activity? Photosynthesis. And what’s its second favorite? Pee-tan-growing!
  14. What’s a car’s favorite time to pee? Brake time!
  15. What do you call a group of musicians in the bathroom? A pee-band!
  16. What do you call a urinating cowboy? John Wayne in the restroom!
  17. How does the toilet paper describe the pee? Flushable.
  18. Why did the pee join the circus? It wanted to be in the loop-de-loop!
  19. How does pee apologize to the toilet? It sends a yellow letter!
  20. What’s the pee’s favorite TV show? The Big Bang Theory, because it’s always a splash!
  21. What does a peeing magician say? Urine for a surprise!
  22. How does a flower pee? It releases its pollen!
  23. Why was the toilet blushing? It saw the pee’s bottom!
  24. Why did the pee feel famous? It was always in the spotlight!
  25. How does a pee keep its pants up? With a pee-belt!
  26. What’s a pee’s favorite fruit? The pee-neapple!
  27. What’s a pee’s favorite singer? Elvis P-resley!
  28. What do you call a funny bathroom incident? A pee-nomenon!
  29. How does a pee sign off its letters? With ‘yours urine-ly’!
  30. What did the pee say to the toilet paper? “Urine my way!”
  31. What’s a pee’s favorite game? Hide and leak!
  32. Why did the pee go to the party? It heard there would be punch and pee-zza!
  33. Why did the pee get a timeout? It couldn’t hold it in any longer!
  34. Why was the pee bad at soccer? It could never hold its goal!
  35. Why did the pee become a politician? It wanted to run for office, but it always ran for the bathroom instead!
  36. What’s a pee’s favorite day of the week? Wizz-day!
  37. How do pees chat? They pee-M each other!
  38. What did the pee say to the shower? “You’re urine-spiring!”
  39. What’s a pee’s favorite book? The Old Man and the Pee!
  40. Why did the pee start a business? It wanted to go with the flow!
  41. What’s a pee’s favorite type of music? Pee-op!
  42. What do you call a urinating wizard? Harry Pee-otter!
  43. What’s a pee’s favorite actor? Pee-rce Brosnan!
  44. What did the pee say to the toilet seat? “You’re under a-restroom!”
  45. Why did the pee write a book? It had a flowing narrative!
  46. How does a pee stay safe? It uses a pee-tbelt!
  47. What’s a pee’s favorite hobby? Sketching pee-n and ink!
  48. Why do pees love comedy clubs? Because they love taking the piss out of people!
  49. How does a pee enjoy a hot summer day? By going to the pee-ach!
  50. Why did the pee go to the theater? To see the musical “Urine-town!”
  51. Why was the pee a great detective? It always followed the stream!
  52. What’s a pee’s favorite candy? Pee-nut brittle!
  53. Why did the pee cross the road? To get to the other toilet!
  54. Why was the pee a terrible tennis player? It could never hold serve!
  55. How do pees keep fit? They do pee-lates!
  56. What’s a pee’s favorite Shakespeare play? Much Ado About Peeing!
  57. What do you call a urinating pirate? Pee-rates of the Caribbean!
  58. How does a pee start its diary? Dear Diuretic!
  59. What’s a pee’s favorite sport? Basketball, it loves the dribbling!
  60. Why did the pee visit the bar? To get a little tipsy!
  61. What do you call a bear with a bladder problem? A pee-rizzly!
  62. Why don’t pees play cards? They’re afraid of flushing their luck!
  63. Why did the pee go camping? It heard about the pee-tent potential!
  64. What did the pee say when it got angry? I’m pissed off!
  65. What do you call a urinating dinosaur? Pee-rex!
  66. Why do pees love swimming? They love doing the backstrokes!
  67. Why was the pee a good basketball player? It was always dribbling!
  68. Why did the pee join a band? It wanted to be a rock and roll star, but it always ended up as a p-roll star!
  69. What’s a pee’s favorite city? Pee-ris!
  70. How do pees show their love? They give yellow roses!
  71. What do pees wear to the beach? Pee-kinis!
  72. What do you call a urinating spy? Pee-ames Bond!
  73. How do pees travel? They take the pee-Train!
  74. What’s a pee’s favorite movie? Pee-tanic!
  75. What do you call a urinating ninja? Pee-ter Parker in disguise!
  76. Why did the pee go to the art gallery? It had a thing for “pee-casso”!
  77. What do you call a urinating zombie? Pee-tient Zero!
  78. Why did the pee go to the museum? It wanted to see the “pee-sa” of art!
  79. How do pees celebrate Christmas? They light up the pee-tree!
  80. What’s a pee’s favorite superhero? Pee-tman!
  81. What’s a pee’s favorite dance move? The pee-pee dance!
  82. How does a pee say goodbye? It waves with a splash!
  83. Why was the pee afraid of heights? It couldn’t handle the drop!
  84. How does a pee keep its balance? It relies on its pee-dulum!
  85. Why do pees hate elevators? They get pee-pressed!
  86. What’s a pee’s favorite typeof weather? Drizzle, it’s like a mild pee!
  87. What do you call a pee in space? Urine-iverse!
  88. What’s a pee’s favorite dessert? Pee-can pie!
  89. Why did the pee become a baker? Because it’s always a-roll!
  90. What did the pee say to the procrastinating toilet? “Urine a lot of trouble!”
  91. What’s a pee’s favorite vacation spot? Pee-rto Rico!
  92. How does a pee express love? It whispers sweet nothings in your rear!
  93. What’s a pee’s favorite kind of math? Geometry, because it loves angles of release!
  94. What do you call a pee in the jungle? A pee-th and a pee-ty!
  95. How does a pee compliment someone? “Urine-credibly amazing!”
  96. What do you call a peeing superhero? Captain A-pee-rica!
  97. Why did the pee go to the gym? It wanted to get ripped…tide!
  98. Why did the pee become a boxer? Because it was always in the ring!
  99. Why don’t pees get invited to parties? They always leak the location!
  100. How do pees write a book? They always start with a stream of consciousness!
  101. Why do pees love nature? They adore the whispering wees!
  102. What’s a pee’s favorite car? A Pee-T Cruiser!
  103. Why was the pee a good reporter? It was always breaking the flow!
  104. What’s a pee’s favorite band? The Pee-tles!
  105. Why was the pee a great farmer? It always knew when to irrigate!
  106. Why did the pee start a blog? It had a lot of spill-over thoughts!
  107. Why was the pee a great sailor? It could always navigate the streams!
  108. What’s a pee’s favorite coffee? A Pee-rabica blend!
  109. What’s a pee’s favorite sport? Water polo, it loves the splash!
  110. Why did the pee become a DJ? It was always dropping the bass…and other things!
  111. How do pees like their eggs? Pee-ached!
  112. What’s a pee’s favorite dance? The pee-rut!
  113. Why did the pee become a painter? It had a lot to express-splash!
  114. What’s a pee’s favorite school subject? Art, it loves to draw the stream!
  115. What’s a pee’s favorite pasta? Pee-nne!
  116. What’s a pee’s favorite animal? A pee-guin!
  117. How does a pee win a race? It never breaks the stream!
  118. What do you call a pee in the army? A private!
  119. How does a pee like its coffee? Au lait, with a splash!
  120. Why do pees make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always in bad taste!
  121. What’s a pee’s favorite fish? A pee-ranha!
  122. What do you call a peeing astronaut? A pee-onaut!
  123. What’s a pee’s favorite color? Yell-ow!
  124. What’s a pee’s favorite way to travel? By pee-lot!
  125. What’s a pee’s favorite vegetable? A pee-s!
  126. Why did the pee join the army? It wanted to be in the line of spray!
  127. What’s a pee’s favorite part of a book? The pee-logue!
  128. What do you call a peeing superhero? The Flash, because he’s always rushing to the bathroom!
  129. What do you call a peeing alien? A pee-T!
  130. What’s a pee’s favorite drink? A pee-na colada!
  131. Why did the pee go to the amusement park? It loves the rollercoaster, especially the drop!
  132. What’s a pee’s favorite toy? A pee-dal car!
  133. Why did the pee become a philosopher? It loved pondering life’s great streams!
  134. What’s a pee’s favorite part of a song? The bridge, it loves the release!
  135. What do you call a pee in the Arctic? A pee-nguin!
  136. Why did the pee become a bartender? It loves serving up golden ales!
  137. What’s a pee’s favorite Broadway show? Pee-ter Pan!
  138. Why do pees make terrible detectives? They’re always leaving a trail!
  139. How does a pee like its soup? Peed!
  140. Why did the pee become a musician? It loved the rhythm of the flow!
  141. Why was the pee a terrible footballer? It was always going off-side!
  142. What do you call a peeing superhero? The Incredible H-urine!
  143. What’s a pee’s favorite word? Apee-ciation!
  144. Why do pees make bad spies? They can’t keep secrets, they always spill!
  145. Why did the pee go to the opera? It loves a good overture, especially the opening!
  146. What do you call a urinating vampire? Count Dr-pee-la!
  147. What’s a pee’s favorite movie? Apee-tar!
  148. How does a pee make a phone call? On its pee-phone!
  149. What’s a pee’s favorite day of the year? New Year’s Pee-ve!
  150. Why did the pee become a comedian? Because life’s a joke and then you pee!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *