150 optometrist jokes

  1. Why don’t optometrists go to heaven? Because they see the specs, not the whole vision!
  2. Why did the optometrist break up with his girlfriend? He found someone who was more of a ‘sight’ for sore eyes!
  3. What did the optometrist say to the patient with 20/20 vision? We must ‘see’ each other again!
  4. Why was the lens always jealous of the optometrist? Because they always had an eye for detail!
  5. Why do optometrists live long lives? Because they always look out for themselves!
  6. Why don’t optometrists make good detectives? They always focus on the wrong things!
  7. What did the optometrist say when he dropped his glasses? “I’ve lost my focus!”
  8. What do optometrists call a group of lenses? An eye gathering!
  9. What did the optometrist say to his pupil? “I’m watching you!”
  10. Why did the optometrist become a baker? Because he wanted to make ‘eye’ce cream!
  11. What do you call an optometrist who can play the piano? A sight-reader!
  12. Why did the optometrist break his mirror? He couldn’t see himself doing it!
  13. What do optometrists say when they make a toast? “Here’s looking at you!”
  14. Why do optometrists love tennis? It’s all about the right ‘serve and volley’!
  15. How do optometrists propose to their partners? “Will you ‘see’ the rest of your life with me?”
  16. Why do optometrists make the worst poker players? They always show their ‘tells’!
  17. How do optometrists stay fit? They always keep an ‘eye’ on their diet!
  18. Why are optometrists always calm? They never lose sight of what’s important!
  19. Why do optometrists make good philosophers? They always have a new perspective!
  20. What do you call a funny optometrist? A comic ‘strip’!
  21. What did the optometrist say to the thief? “You can’t hide from my sight!”
  22. How do optometrists start their letters? “Eye hope this finds you well!”
  23. Why do optometrists hate surprise parties? They see them coming!
  24. What did the optometrist say when he found his glasses? “Well, that’s a sight for sore eyes!”
  25. What do you call an optometrist who tells bad jokes? A ‘cornea’-comic!
  26. How do optometrists keep their clothes wrinkle-free? They use ‘eye’-ron!
  27. What did the shy optometrist say to his crush? “Eye can’t take my eyes off you!”
  28. How do optometrists make their tea? They ‘steep’ it to perfection!
  29. What do you call an adventurous optometrist? An eye explorer!
  30. Why was the optometrist a terrible baseball player? He couldn’t find the ‘catcher’s eye’!
  31. Why don’t optometrists play hide and seek? Because they always find people in a blink!
  32. Why are optometrists so good at math? They always keep an eye on the numbers!
  33. What did the optometrist say to his lazy son? “You need to focus more!”
  34. Why did the optometrist refuse to play chess? He thought it was too ‘checkered’!
  35. What do optometrists do during their lunch break? They ‘eat and eye’!
  36. Why did the optometrist join the circus? He wanted to see the world through a different lens!
  37. What do you call an optometrist who can’t keep a secret? An ‘eye’-tell!
  38. Why don’t optometrists use GPS? They trust their own vision!
  39. What did the optometrist say when he got a perfect score on his test? “Eye aced it!”
  40. How do optometrists meditate? They focus on their inner ‘vision’!
  41. Why did the optometrist go to the beach? He wanted to ‘see’ the sea!
  42. Why are optometrists never lost? They always have a clear vision!
  43. What do optometrists do when they retire? They look back on their life with 20/20 hindsight!
  44. Why are optometrists always punctual? They keep an ‘eye’ on the time!
  45. What did the optometrist say to the skeptic? “Seeing is believing!”
  46. Why did the optometrist become a novelist? He wanted to write visionary novels!
  47. Why are optometrists great at photography? They always capture the perfect shot!
  48. How do optometrists greet each other? “Nice to ‘see’ you!”
  49. What did the optometrist say at the art exhibition? “Eye love this!”
  50. Why don’t optometrists need mirrors? They see themselves clearly!
  51. What do you call an optometrist with a sweet tooth? A candy ‘eye’!
  52. Why was the optometrist good at poker? He had a great poker ‘face’!
  53. Why are optometrists good at basketball? They never miss the ‘basket’!
  54. What did the optometrist say to his wife on their anniversary? “You’re the apple of my ‘eye’!”
  55. How does an optometrist declare love? “Eye adore you!”
  56. Why don’t optometrists need flashlights? They can see in the dark!
  57. How do optometrists wake up? With a clear vision for the day!
  58. Why did the optometrist become a chef? He wanted to create ‘eye’-catching dishes!
  59. How do optometrists celebrate their birthday? They ‘look’ forward to it!
  60. What did the optometrist say to his friend? “Eye am here for you!”
  61. Why are optometrists good at puzzles? They always find the missing piece!
  62. Why don’t optometrists use magnifying glasses? They can see the fine print!
  63. What’s an optometrist’s favorite time of the day? Eye o’ clock!
  64. How do optometrists like their steak? With a good ‘sear’!
  65. Why don’t optometrists need cameras? They capture every moment with their eyes!
  66. How do optometrists communicate with each other? Through ‘eye’-messaging!
  67. Why do optometrists always win at darts? They always hit the ‘bull’s-eye’!
  68. Why do optometrists love yoga? It helps them maintain balance and focus!
  69. How do optometrists cheer each other up? “Eye believe in you!”
  70. What did the optometrist say to his patient? “Eye am here to help!”
  71. Why did the optometrist go to the library? He wanted to ‘see’ a good book!
  72. What do you call an optometrist in the North Pole? An Ice-See Specialist!
  73. Why are optometrists always happy? They look at the bright side!
  74. What do optometrists give out on Halloween? Eye-candy!
  75. Why do optometrists like sunrises? They enjoy the morning ‘glare’!
  76. What’s an optometrist’s favorite movie? “Eye Robot”!
  77. Why did the optometrist go to the museum? He wanted to ‘see’ the exhibits!
  78. What do optometrists call their mistakes? A ‘blurred’ moment!
  79. How does an optometrist comfort a sad friend? “Eye feel your pain!”
  80. Why did the optometrist become a gardener? He had a green ‘eye’!
  81. How do optometrists express gratitude? “Eye appreciate it!”
  82. Why was the optometrist always broke? He couldn’t see money coming his way!
  83. What’s an optometrist’s favorite song? “Eye of the Tiger”!
  84. Why do optometrists love space? They are fascinated by the ‘eye’-ris of a black hole!
  85. How do optometrists apologize? “Eye am sorry!”
  86. Why was the optometrist a bad liar? He couldn’t look anyone in the eye!
  87. How do optometrists propose to their partners? “Eye do!”
  88. Why do optometrists always win at chess? They can see the moves ahead!
  89. What’s an optometrist’s favorite dessert? ‘Eye’-ce cream!
  90. How do optometrists say goodbye? “Eye’ll be seeing you!”
  91. Why did the optometrist visit the zoo? He wanted to see the ‘eye’-guanas!
  92. What’s an optometrist’s favorite type of math? Geometry, because it’s all about angles and views!
  93. Why don’t optometrists need telescopes? They can see the stars clearly!
  94. What’s an optometrist’s favorite novel? “The Great Gatsby” because of the eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg!
  95. What’s an optometrist’s favorite game? ‘Eye’ spy!
  96. How do optometrists maintain their friendships? They always keep an ‘eye’ on their friends!
  97. What do optometrists do when they’re bored? Watch ‘eye’-nteresting movies!
  98. How do optometrists stay hydrated? They drink plenty of ‘eye’-ce water!
  99. Why do optometrists make good artists? They can draw a perfect ‘eye’-ris!
  100. What’s an optometrist’s favorite weather? Clear skies, so they can see the horizon!
  101. How do optometrists enjoy their weekends? They keep an ‘eye’ out for fun!
  102. What did the optometrist say to his haters? “Eye see you!”
  103. Why was the optometrist a bad dancer? He had two left ‘feet’!
  104. How does an optometrist pass his time? He watches the ‘eye’-dyllic scenery!
  105. Why did the optometrist love the mountain view? It was a sight for sore eyes!
  106. Why was the optometrist good at geography? He could see the world!
  107. How does an optometrist keep his room clean? He has a clear ‘vision’ of where everything goes!
  108. What’s an optometrist’s favorite type of dog? A ‘see’ing eye dog!
  109. Why are optometrists good at archery? They never lose sight of the target!
  110. Why do optometrists like rainy days? They can see the ‘rainbows’!
  111. Why did the optometrist like to cook? He enjoyed the ‘sight’ of food!
  112. How do optometrists show their excitement? “Eye can’t believe it!”
  113. Why don’t optometrists like going to the movies? They always predict the ending!
  114. How do optometrists enjoy their vacations? With a clear ‘view’ of the beach!
  115. Why do optometrists like picnics? They enjoy the ‘scenery’!
  116. Why don’t optometrists need maps? They have an excellent sense of ‘direction’!
  117. What’s an optometrist’s favorite drink? ‘Eye’-ce tea!
  118. How does an optometrist wish someone? “May you have 20/20 vision for your dreams!”
  119. Why are optometrists good at board games? They see every possible move!
  120. Why don’t optometrists need binoculars? They can see far enough!
  121. What did the optometrist say to his kid on the first day of school? “Eye am proud of you!”
  122. Why do optometrists like hiking? They enjoy the ‘view’ from the top!
  123. Why was the optometrist good at solving crimes? He had an ‘eye’ for detail!
  124. Why did the optometrist like to read? He enjoyed the ‘sight’ of words!
  125. Why don’t optometrists get surprised? They see everything coming!
  126. What’s an optometrist’s favorite bird? The ‘eye’-gle!
  127. How do optometrists enjoy their coffee? With a clear ‘view’ of the morning!
  128. Why do optometrists like sunsets? They love the ‘colors’!
  129. What’s an optometrist’s favorite type of music? ‘Eye’-tunes!
  130. Why did the optometrist go to the concert? He wanted to ‘see’ the band!
  131. Why don’t optometrists get scared? They see through the fear!
  132. What’s an optometrist’s favorite city? ‘Eye’-stanbul!
  133. Why do optometrists like the beach? They love the sea’s ‘horizon’!
  134. How do optometrists express surprise? “Eye didn’t see that coming!”
  135. Why did the optometrist go to the theme park? He wanted a ‘roller-coaster’ view!
  136. What’s an optometrist’s favorite type of cheese? ‘Eye’-da!
  137. Why don’t optometrists get lost? They always follow their ‘vision’!
  138. How do optometrists keep calm? They ‘focus’ on their breathing!
  139. What did the optometrist say to the mountain climber? “Eye see you at the top!”
  140. Why was the optometrist good at bowling? He could see the pins clearly!
  141. Why do optometrists like the fall season? They love the colors of the leaves!
  142. Why did the optometrist go to the opera? He wanted to ‘see’ the performance!
  143. Why are optometrists good listeners? They always keep an ‘eye’ on the speaker!
  144. Why was the optometrist good at playing the guitar? He had a clear ‘view’ of the notes!
  145. How do optometrists express their joy? “Eye am so happy!”
  146. Why are optometrists good drivers? They never lose sight of the road!
  147. What did the optometrist say to the skydiver? “Eye’ll see you on the ground!”
  148. Why do optometrists make good teachers? They have a clear ‘view’ of the subject!
  149. What’s an optometrist’s favorite type of dance? The ‘See’-tango!
  150. Why don’t optometrists need cameras? Their memories are always in high resolution!

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