100 missouri jokes

  1. Why do Missourians always bring a pencil to their meetings? Because they always want to draw attention to the “Show Me” state.
  2. Why did the tomato turn red when it crossed the border into Missouri? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  3. Why did the cat move to Missouri? Because it heard there was a “purr-suit” of happiness.
  4. Why did the Missouri football team go to the bakery? Because they needed a good “roll” model.
  5. What do you call a Missouri wizard who can play the piano? St. Louis Armstrong.
  6. Why don’t they serve ice in drinks in Missouri? Because the last time they had ice, it was in an Ice Age!
  7. How do Missouri cows do their shopping? They always go to the moo-ll.
  8. Why did the Missouri musician carry a ladder? Because he wanted to reach the high notes.
  9. Why did the Missouri River get an award? Because it has outstanding flow.
  10. Why do Missourians make terrible soccer players? Because every time they get a corner, they open a convenience store.
  11. Why did the skeleton go to a party in Missouri? He heard it was a place where everyone has a funny bone.
  12. Why did the computer take a job in Missouri? Because it wanted to find its “byte” in the Show-Me State.
  13. Why do Missouri dogs avoid playing cards with cheetahs? They’re afraid they might spot a dealer.
  14. Why did the bread break up with the butter in Missouri? It felt spread too thin.
  15. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Missouri? Because if it were invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush!
  16. Why did the Missouri chef become a gardener? Because he heard about plant-based diets.
  17. Why did the donut visit Missouri? It wanted to go on a roll.
  18. Why did the Missouri baseball player bring a pancake to the game? He wanted to batter up!
  19. What do you call a retired miner in Missouri? A gold-digger.
  20. Why did the Missouri lemon say ‘stop’? Because it ran out of juice.
  21. Why was the Missouri computer cold? It left its Windows open.
  22. Why do Missouri ghosts hate rain? It dampens their spirits.
  23. Why did the Missouri music note go to school? To improve its composition.
  24. Why did the scarecrow move to Missouri? Because it heard the job was outstanding in its field.
  25. What do Missouri fishermen say to each other? Catch you later.
  26. Why did the tomato cross the road in Missouri? Because it saw the chicken salad dressing.
  27. Why don’t Missouri chefs play hide and seek? They always spill the beans.
  28. Why did the Missouri clock go to school? Because it heard time flies.
  29. Why did the Missouri bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
  30. What did the Missouri firefly say to its friend at the party? You light up my life.
  31. Why did the Missouri pizza go to therapy? Because it had too many slices of life.
  32. Why don’t Missouri cats play poker? They’re scared of cheetahs.
  33. Why did the Missouri belt get arrested? It was holding up a pair of pants.
  34. Why did the computer go to the doctor in Missouri? It had a virus.
  35. Why did the Missouri chef break up with his girlfriend? Because he was tired of the whisk-y business.
  36. Why did the Missouri burglar take a shower? He wanted to make a clean getaway.
  37. Why do Missouri lawyers carry around a calendar? Because they always have a date in court.
  38. Why did the football team go to the bakery in Missouri? Because they heard the buns were fresh out of the oven.
  39. Why did the Missouri coin go to school? It wanted to feel cents-ible.
  40. Why did the Missouri electrician go to the bar? He needed a few sparks in his life.
  41. Why did the Missouri golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
  42. Why did the Missouri detective go to the beach? He was following the sand-wich.
  43. Why did the Missouri artist carry a pencil? He wanted to draw attention.
  44. What do you call a Missourian who can play the guitar? A string bean.
  45. Why did the Missouri lemon fail its exam? Because it wasn’t sharp enough.
  46. What did the Missouri tortilla say to the avocado? “You guac my world.”
  47. Why did the Missouri belt go to jail? Because it couldn’t keep it together.
  48. Why did the Missouri baseball player get arrested? Because he stole second base.
  49. Why did the Missouri mushroom go to the party? Because it was a fungi.
  50. What do you call a dog from Missouri that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.
  51. Why did the Missouri teacher go to the beach? She wanted to test the waters.
  52. Why did the Missouri cat sit on the computer? He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.
  53. Why did the Missouri computer take its glasses off? It had enough windows to look through.
  54. Why did the Missouri spider go to school? It wanted to improve its web design.
  55. Why did the Missouri coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  56. Why did the Missouri ghost join the cheerleading squad? He had a lot of spirit.
  57. Why did the Missouri musician get locked out of his own concert? He left his keys in the piano.
  58. Why did the Missouri fish go to Hollywood? It wanted to be a starfish.
  59. What do you call a Missouri snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  60. Why did the Missouri skeleton start a gardening business? He heard it was a growing industry.
  61. Why did the Missouri broom win the lottery? Because it always sweeps up.
  62. Why did the Missouri computer crash? It went down the information superhighway too fast.
  63. Why did the Missouri cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer too long.
  64. Why did the Missouri cat join the Red Cross? Because it wanted to be a first-aid kit.
  65. Why did the Missouri farmer bring his apple to school? Because it was the apple of his eye.
  66. Why did the Missouri plumber bring a donut to work? He needed a good ring leader.
  67. Why did the Missouri corn stalk get an award? Because it was a-maize-ing.
  68. Why did the Missouri bank hire a cat? Because it had good purr-sonal finance skills.
  69. Why did the Missouri phone wear glasses? Because it lost all its contacts.
  70. Why did the Missouri football team go to the bakery? Because they needed a good roll model.
  71. Why did the Missouri bird bring a suitcase to school? Because it wanted to be a carrier pigeon.
  72. Why did the Missouri scarecrow become a politician? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  73. Why did the Missouri hotdog turn down a chance to play in the orchestra? Because it didn’t want to be the wurst musician.
  74. Why did the Missouri elevator make good music? Because it knew how to lift people’s spirits.
  75. Why did the Missouri mummy refuse to take a vacation? It was afraid it would unwind too much.
  76. What do you call a shoe made in Missouri? A sneaker.
  77. Why did the Missouri tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  78. Why did the Missouri sandwich go to a tennis match? It wanted to serve better.
  79. Why did the Missouri witch ride her broom? She couldn’t find her vacuum cleaner.
  80. Why did the Missouri ant get kicked off the football team? Because it was an ant-hlete.
  81. Why did the Missouri lemon stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
  82. Why did the Missouri bee get married? Because it found its honey.
  83. Why did the Missouri belt go to jail? It was holding up a pair of pants.
  84. Why did the Missouri computer go to the doctor? It had a bad case of the viruses.
  85. Why did the Missouri chef become a gardener? Because he wanted to spice up his thyme.
  86. Why did the Missouri music note get in trouble in school? It couldn’t keep track of its composure.
  87. Why did the Missouri skeleton refuse to fight the zombie? He didn’t have the guts.
  88. Why did the Missouri lamp go to school? Because it wanted to be a little brighter.
  89. Why did the Missouri pizza maker go broke? Because he just couldn’t make enough dough.
  90. Why did the Missouri ghost go into the bar? To get some boos.
  91. Why did the Missouri tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.
  92. Why did the Missouri candle lose its job? It got fired.
  93. Why did the Missouri vegetable thief go into rehab? He couldn’t stop taking peas.
  94. Why did the Missouri shoe break up with the sock? It was tired of being stepped on.
  95. Why did the Missouri cat sit on the TV? It wanted to be a screen star.
  96. Why did the Missouri pot go to school? Because it wanted to be a little pot- smarter.
  97. Why did the Missouri football go to the bank? It wanted to get its quarterback.
  98. Why did the Missouri tennis ball take a nap? It was tired of being served.
  99. Why did the Missouri coffee go to the police? It got mugged.
  100. Why did the Missouri sandwich get promoted? It was on a roll.

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